Chapter 7
I wanted to keep him.Hell, I didn’t know why. The kid was more like an annoying ass pet than anything else, but the thought of turning him away made my stomach hurt. As Ash scrambled out of the room after talking way too fucking much, I turned back to look at my brother.
“He’s a problem,” Benito said.
I pulled a face. “How do you figure?”
My brother leaned back in his chair, rocking casually as he intertwined his fingers. “The way you look at him, the way he hides behind you, and let’s not forget the way you just sent him away so he was out of my line of sight.” Benito’s eyes swept over me. “I don’t need you neglecting the jobs I lay out for you.”
I wanted to scoff. The sound sat on my tongue like a thick film, but I didn’t make it. Benito could be an ornery fucker, and I wasn’t looking to set him off. I shoved my hands into the pockets of my slacks, not turning away as he stared at me like I had a second head.
“You really know how to pull some shit out of your ass, don’t you?” I asked. “I never slack on my duties to you.”
Benito’s brows furrowed. “Try not lying.”
Alright, so maybe there had been a few incidents when I let my personal shit intervene with business, but I hadn’t done that in ages! When Benito gave me something to do, I did it. Not only because he was the family head but because he was my brother, and I gave a damn about him.
“If you’re going to bring up every past mistake, I’ve got a few I could remind you of as well,” I said, the words slipping free before I could stop myself. “So, let’s not be assholes and move on with our days.”
Benito pushed his chair back before he stood up. Even at his 6’2 height, he was shorter than my 6’5. Yet, that never seemed to matter to him. Throughout our lives, we’d sparred and fought. Each time Benito was somehow able to kick my ass. Normally, I let that lesson live with me, but not today.
“That boy needs to be in a place of his own,” Benito said as he rounded his desk.
“Why? I paid for him. Why can’t I decide what happens to him?”
“Do you really want me to say it?”
Irritation coiled in the pit of my stomach. “Say whatever the fuck you want.”
“You’re irresponsible,” Benito said calmly. “This is just a new way for you to distract yourself. Soon enough, you’ll get bored and toss him out, but not before you leave destruction in your wake.” He drew closer before he laid a hand on my chest. “I’m looking out for you.”
Heat consumed me as I stepped back, ripping his hand off my body. “Fuck that, and fuck you,” I spat. “I’m not some goddamn mental case you can just treat with kid gloves. You keep acting like—”
“I have never said or treated you like that.”
“Fuck that,” I growled. “Yes, you have. I’m telling you right now that Ash isn’t going anywhere. I purchased him with my own money. He’s agreed to the terms to pay me back. That’s it. Whatever you have to say has no weight in my personal life.”
My brother stepped away from me, and I saw the anger that consumed his features. As my chest tightened, I ignored it. Yes, he was my boss, and I should listen to him, but I would be damned if he dictated a part of my life that had nothing to do with him. For years I’d been his loyal right hand, doing what was asked of me even when it was difficult. I wasn’t about to let him treat me like I was some dumbass.
“He needs a place of his own,” Benito insisted. “We both know you’re going to get sick of him in a handful of days and by then, it’ll be too late. He’ll be attached and devastated, and you’ll be acting out. Why don’t we cut this early instead of pretending we both don’t know the inevitable?”
My stomach clenched. I took a step toward Benito, my fist tightening with every step. His eyes flickered down to my hand and then returned to my gaze.
“I wouldn”t recommend it,” he said evenly. “We both know what happens when you try to fight me. It’s not pretty.”
Every word he spoke weighed down on me. I sank deeper and deeper as anger and frustration curled in my gut. Benito and I stared into each other’s eyes before I finally pushed my emotions away and lit a cigarette.
“He’s not going anywhere. If you have a problem with that, well, fuck you.” I inhaled the smoke letting it burn my lungs before I exhaled. “I don’t give a damn.”
Benito shook his head, wearing the look of a disapproving parent over a willful and ignorant child. The anger deepened, making every muscle in my body clench as I fought against putting a fist through his face. I turned on my heels.
“What are you going to do with him?” Benito called. “I’m serious. You can’t keep a human as a goddamn toy. That’s fucked up even for us.”
I turned back to face him. “Out of the two of us, I don’t think you’re one to talk about what’s fucked up when it comes to relationships.”
The words slipped free before I ever had a chance to stop them. I watched as Benito’s face pivoted between anger, sadness, and back again. My lips parted, trying to think of something to say, but my brother held up a hand.
“Get out of my fucking office. You want this burden? Fine, it’s on you.” He rounded his desk and sat down. “When it blows up in your face, make sure you ask Enzo for help because I’m not lifting a fucking finger to assist more of your bullshit mistakes.”
We stared at each other, a challenge in our gazes. Neither one of us wanted to look away first. Even as my stomach rolled and anger built to rage, I kept my outward appearance calm. I didn’t need Benito bringing up my past mistakes. All the progress we’d made in the previous months was teetering on a dangerous cliff.
Fucking asshole.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Benito bit out. “I’m trying to look out for you, but you don’t want that.” His frown deepened. “Gin, when have I ever let you down?”
“So many times,” I snipped. “But I keep my fucking mouth shut, don’t I?”
The hurt that passed my brother’s eyes made me ache. I stepped forward, but he held his hand up, stopping me. Benito picked up the glass on his desk, gulping the amber liquid that sloshed inside before he spoke to me again.
“Leave.”
“I—”
“Leave!”
The roar of Benito’s words made my ears ache. I stared at him a little longer before I turned and walked out of his office. The door slammed behind me, a finality that sent a shiver up my spine. What the fuck did I do?
Benito and Enzo were all I had in this world. Without them, I was nothing. Sure, we fought and fucked up, but we were always there for each other at the end of the day. I turned back around, staring at the thick wooden door of my brother’s office. Everything in me screamed to go back inside and talk some sense into him.
I didn’t move.
Minutes ticked by. As the door stayed shut, my shoulders dropped. I shuffled away, feeling discombobulated. One little fight, and I was fucked up. All because I wanted to keep some goddamn toy I would probably get sick of in the next few days, just like he said.
Benito’s right. What am I thinking?
I should have let him do what he wanted, but I’d come in already irritated and on edge. That was my fuck up. I walked through the club, exiting into the too-bright sunlight as I tugged my hands out of my pockets.
Ash peered up at me from the passenger seat, worry in his eyes. Something stirred in me, some niggling annoyance that made me want to ask if he was okay. Instead, I slipped into my baby and started her up.
“Is everything alright?” Ash whispered. “Am I going somewhere else?”
I turned on him. “Do you ever shut up?”
He shrank away from me. Ash’s eyes cut away from mine. He smashed himself against his car door, staring out the window instead of at me. I watched the silhouette of his face, my brain screaming at me as I turned back to look at the road.
Fuck. What am I doing?
I was acting like a crazy person, lashing out at everyone around me while still struggling to understand why. Squirming in my seat, I dreamt up visions of bourbon and weed, anything to take the edge off.
As I pulled away from the curb, I sank into a familiar place, one filled with the errands I had to run and the tasks that were laid out before me. Keeping my eye on the prize was the goal. Even if Benito was pissed and Ash was upset, that had nothing to do with me.
I needed to escape.