Paid In Full (Vitale Brothers Book 2)

Chapter 9

I gruntedas Silvy smashed into the guy’s head again. Panting, I stood up and wiped the sweat from my forehead. Blood covered my skin instead, and I cringed. Shit’s going to be sticky as fuck. Great.

As I gazed down at my handiwork, I didn’t feel the same sense of satisfaction that I usually did. I hadn’t even toyed with the prey before I bashed his head in. I tugged out my phone to send the text to Benito.

Gin: Done.

We hadn’t spoken more than five words to each other. He sent me assignments, I completed them, I told him when it was done, he returned the message with a thumbs up. I waited with bated breath to see what he’d do today.

Benito: ??

Shit. That fucker is still pissed.

I knew I’d crossed the line. That truth had been written all over his face when I was in his office. And Benito was still punishing me for it.

That’s as good as I’m going to get. I stuffed the phone back into my pocket, cleaned my hammer on the dead man’s t-shirt, and turned on my heels.

Gotta get this blood off me.

I drove back to the motel I’d been occupying. There was a hell of a lot more privacy here than going to some upscale hotel. I parked, climbed out, and strolled to my room. Flipping on the light, I ignored how run down and dingy it was as I shuffled toward the bathroom. My clothes made a splat sound as they landed on the floor from a mixture of rain and blood. I turned on the shower as my phone jingled.

Enzo.

Sighing, I answered it. “What’s the job?”

“How long are you going to punish yourself?” Enzo asked.

“What are you talking about?” I shoved my hand into the water and yanked it right back out when the freezing cold made my hand ache.

“You know what I mean,” he said evenly. “Benito says you’re acting funny.”

“Acting funny?” I muttered.

“Working overtime without complaint, overkill on your assignments, not going back home. Do you need me to keep going?”

I groaned. “No. I’m fine.”

“Whatever you two fought about—”

“Don’t want to talk about it.”

“Gin…”

I swallowed thickly. Telling Enzo wouldn’t make my situation any better. Instead, I paced back and forth, praying the hot water would kick in so I could rinse the blood from my body.

“It’s nothing.”

No, it’s not nothing.

The shit I’d said to Benito was digging up old wounds neither of us wanted to face. From insulting him about Brycen, the ex who bound him and Enzo, to bringing up the past I never wanted to remember, I had taken every potshot I could at him. Working, keeping my head down, and shutting my mouth was the least I could do to make up for it.

I didn’t want to fuck up what we’d worked so hard to establish.

“He’s not angry,” Enzo said.

“You say that,” I muttered, biting at my thumb.

“I know it. Or else he wouldn’t be calling me asking if you’re alright. Go home, Gin. Don’t you have someone waiting for you?”

My chest constricted. Shit. I had been trying to avoid thinking about Ash for the past few days. From his ridiculous dick to his puppy dog eyes, he’d haunted me the whole time. I thought about going back to check on him, but I’d put it off every single time.

He’s practically a prisoner. I’m sure he’s left by now. If he hasn’t, then he gets a place to himself and doesn’t have to worry about seeing me.

I had to imagine that was better than him having to earn his release. If Ash wanted to disappear, I wouldn’t track him down. My stomach tightened at that thought, but I stood behind it. Ash was free to go. There was no reason for me to hold onto him. Right?

Shaking my head, I faced myself in the mirror. One long glance, and I quickly looked away.

“If your brother is so concerned about me, why the hell isn’t he saying anything? All I get are his dumbass thumbs-up texts.”

Enzo groaned. “You know how he is. It’s like he has no emotions,” he sighed. “And even if he does, he would never show them. He doesn’t want to have some long, drawn-out discussion over you guys’ shit, so just go home and pretend everything is normal. The only emotion he ever displays is anger anyway, and you don’t want that.”

I remembered Enzo and Benito’s fight over Tex. They had brawled like they were strangers instead of brothers. That was the very height of Benito’s anger. I didn’t want to see that shit, or God forbid, if it got any worse than that.

“I’m taking a shower.”

“Go home,” Enzo snapped. “Listen, if he calls me one more time asking if you’ve swung by my place, I’m going to find you, stab you, and deliver you to him.”

“Ain’t I the one who kidnaps you?” I mused.

“Not this time. Get your shit together.”

Enzo hung up, and I stared at the phone. He’s in a mood. I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to know what his deal was. Sighing, I placed my phone on the counter and climbed into the shower. Tepid water hit my body. I clenched my teeth and cleaned up anyway.

Ash came back to my mind once more. He’d looked like an abandoned puppy left on the side of my car that day. I had to get away, though. Even without a locked room, it felt as if the walls were closing in around me. That tight, choking feeling around my throat, the way I struggled to pull in a full breath, I had to go. I needed my goddamn freedom!

I slammed my hand against the wall. “Shit!”

My fist vibrated with pain as I pulled it back to stare at my reddened knuckles. Ash wouldn’t get out of my head. He was annoying, clingy, and plain weird, but I still wanted to check on him like I’d wanted to do every single goddamn day. Any other time I would have drowned myself in good booze, tight holes, and my body weight in weed. Why hadn’t I done it this time?

I shook out my fist as I busied myself with scrubbing the blood from my skin. My nails scraped over the dried bits, watching them flick off before they disappeared. The process was taking a hell of a lot longer than it usually did. Or maybe I just had better places to be.

Once I was out, dried, and redressed, I packed up my bloody clothes to hand off to one of the men to destroy or clean. I stuffed them underneath the spare tire in my trunk before I slid behind the wheel. I stared straight ahead.

He’s not even going to be there. By now, he’s long gone.

I drove back to my house with that thought in the forefront of my mind. My place would be empty, just like it always was. I could go back to living a normal life.

I slinked out of my car, a cigarette dangling between my teeth. My fingers typed in the code, but the door was already opened. It swung inward.

I almost stumbled inside but caught myself as I stepped over the threshold. My expectations of a cold, empty home were dashed. Blues music played, people chatted, and something smelled good. I walked to my kitchen and froze.

Benito was standing beside Ash. They were close, both hovering over the stovetop as they talked so quietly I couldn’t make out what they were saying. My chest tightened as my nails sank into the soft meat of my palms.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

I wasn’t sure if I was asking Benito or Ash. They both turned around. Benito tilted his head without saying a word. Ash, on the other hand, stiffened, his hand on the spatula that rested in the pot he’d been stirring.

Neither of them spoke to me.

“Let me try this again,” I growled. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“You left him alone with no food,” Benito said. “I knew you weren’t responsible enough for this. He has stuff to eat now.”

I turned to Ash, waiting for an answer. He was looking anywhere but at me. Finally, when he couldn’t glance away anymore, his gaze darted up to meet mine.

“You told me not to run.”

I stared at him like he’d grown a second head. Who would listen to that? I’d been gone… Shit, how many days has it been? They’d each passed in a blur as I buried myself in my work. Had I really been gone for a long time?

Every once in a while, I simply… disappeared. It didn’t make sense, but I was still there, able to walk, talk, and function. But I was gone too. Only coming back when the world took on its sharp edges, and I could feel again.

Although I preferred not being able to feel at all.

“Gin. Are you okay?” Benito asked.

I yanked my nails from my skin, a grin growing on my lips as I nodded. “Peachy. As always.”

“Gin.”

I retreated to my room, slamming the door after throwing the lock. Reaching up, I ripped off my shirt. It was too fucking tight. I stared at my palm, where blood now rested, and forced myself to suck in a breath. Tingling ran over my scalp, wrapped around my throat and raced down my body.

“Shit, shit, not now. Not fucking now!”

They were back. Goddamn panic attacks. I hadn’t been free of them ever since I was locked up. Twice. Now, whenever the walls came closing in, they were there to remind me that, yes, I was really fucking alive even if I didn’t want to be.

I sucked in a long, hard breath as I began to count the things around me. What I could see. What I could hear. What I could smell. All that fucking shit the good doc told me when I returned home with a brand new host of fucking issues.

A knock on the door startled me. I shoved away from it, lapping at the blood on my palm as I glared at the wood. There was no wall to shove my back against, so I simply waited, tense, ready to fuck shit up.

“Giancarlo?”

Ash’s sweet voice put me at ease. I didn’t respond, but I didn’t retreat either.

“Are you okay?” he asked. Silence. “I-I’m sorry if I did something wrong. I didn’t mean to. Can you come out? I asked your brother to help me cook your favorite food, and it’s almost done. I can pour you a drink! Giancarlo?”

My heart squeezed. God, he was so annoying. Yet I was shuffling toward the door as if I was being tugged toward it by a string.

“I made you risotto with lobster. Or I tried.” He sighed. “It probably sucks. Nevermind. You can stay. I mean, you’re probably tired after working so hard all week. I’ll leave you alone.”

The heartbreak in his voice was palpable. God, does he ever shut up? Ash was always a hot mess of rambling words and nervous twitches. That was when he wasn’t sassing me back and immediately blushing and freaking out because of it.

He’s a fucking mess.

Maybe that’s what I like about him.

I ripped the door open as the shakes continued but calmed. Ash stood there toying with his fingers. He looked up at me with those big eyes.

“If you were hungry, why didn’t you get some fucking food?”

“You didn’t say I could leave,” he muttered. “Besides, I don’t have any money. What was I supposed to do?” He frowned. “I didn’t call him or anything if that’s what you think.” Panic covered his face as his eyes darted back and forth. “He just came over, saw the empty fridge, and brought over groceries. I didn’t—”

“Jesus, kid,” I groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You make me crazy.”

If my mental shit was bad, his was worse. I brushed past Ash, heading downstairs to the kitchen. My brother spared me a glance, nodded, and then left. That was all I would get from him, and I knew it.

I sat at the table, and Ash put a plate in front of me. He hovered as I stuck a fork into the food and tasted the risotto.

I stiffened. It was the most god-awful thing I’d ever tasted in my life. How was the rice both raw and overcooked? A gag stuck in my throat as I chewed rubbery lobster.

What the fuck? This is terrible.

I glanced up to find Ash staring at me, his big eyes already looking panicked as he waited. Normally, I had no problem telling someone their food was shit. This time I picked up the fork and shoveled more food into my face. It was my penance for starving Ash when I had argued with Benito that I was responsible enough to care for him.

“Do… do you like it?” Ash asked.

I nodded. “Really good. I’m surprised you didn’t burn the place down making it.”

Ash’s face lit up. “Really? You think so? I’ll get you some more!”

He scurried away, bringing over more risotto before he poured me a glass of Sauvignon Blanc. Ash fluttered around the kitchen, talking a mile a minute about cooking the meal with a smile on his face. I stared at him as I shoved more of my punishment down my throat.

Isn’t he angry I left him like this? That I almost starved him? Goddamn, how much did his father screw him up?

The last of the tremors left me as I gulped my wine and stared at the flighty little shit running around my kitchen. I’d thought he would be gone, but it seemed like I was all Ash had.

What the fuck was I supposed to do with him?