Paid In Full (Vitale Brothers Book 2)

Chapter 20

My head was a mess.I had no set destination in mind. All I knew was I needed air. The moment I stepped out of the house, I turned right and walked. I knew who Giancarlo was, or rather, I knew what kind of man he was. I’d seen it before, and yet I conveniently forgot every single time. It was there in black and white. He’s part of the mafia. What was I thinking? Giancarlo bought me, for fuck’s sake, and I kept ignoring the facts.

Giancarlo was insane, a busy body, raunchy, conceited, a jackass, kind, gentle in the most unexpected ways, protective, thoughtful, funny, and—a killer.

“Fuck.”

I could easily dress it up and make up a story about how Giancarlo was taking out the trash of the world. How he only killed those who deserved it. And there were plenty of people who deserved to die a gruesome death. Many men’s faces came to mind, along with my father’s. I shook my head, pushing all those thoughts out of my head.

“No.”

I didn’t like my father, but he did what he could with me. When mom left, he broke. If she’d stayed, I was certain things would have been different. He wouldn’t have done anything to me; he might have even loved me. I would have gone to school more, had friends and maybe even gone to college.

I hadn’t dreamt of a normal childhood in a while. Those endless days alone had been spent dreaming, my only escape from reality. Ever since Giancarlo had bought me, I hadn’t thought about it. I pulled at my lower lip as I circled the drain of my thoughts.

Was I forgetting who Giancarlo was all because I liked him? I shook my head. “No, that doesn’t matter.”

“What?”

I jumped, nearly forgetting that I wasn’t in the house anymore. My face heated. “Sorry, nothing.”

The older man stared at me before moving away. I was losing my shit if I was talking to myself in public. I blew out a breath and waited to cross the road.

There was a small diner, and I made my way inside. Food was the last thing on my mind, but my stomach growled and cramped in protest. I was pretty certain it would start eating my spine if I didn’t put something in it soon.

“Hi, hun! Table for one?”

The thought of eating alone made me shake my head. “Do you have to-go?”

She nodded and handed over the menu. “You can sit at the counter over there and put your order in.”

“Thank you.” I took my seat and glanced over the menu.

Giancarlo knew exactly what I wanted. Thinking about him only brought back the memory of hearing someone cry for help. I was back at square one. I groaned as I laid the menu down. A woman sauntered over to me, a pen and paper in hand.

“Are you ready to order?”

“Um, yes.” I hadn’t looked enough, but she was already here. I didn’t want her to feel as if she’d wasted her time.

“I will have blueberry pancakes with bananas. Bacon, extra crispy. Eggs over easy. Oh, and orange juice.”

“We’re out of bananas. Will strawberries work?”

I didn’t like strawberries, but they weren’t the worst fruit. “Yes, that’s fine.”

“Anything else?”

At the last second, I decided to get Giancarlo something to eat. “Can I get the steak and eggs with sourdough bread? Egg sunny side up. With a side of biscuits and gravy. Extra gravy, please.” I’d make Giancarlo’s coffee at home.

“Coming right up.”

My stomach twisted in knots, and I could practically imagine Giacalro’s dark gaze boring into me. “Wait, actually...”

The waitress turned around, a smile still on her face as she waited for me to finish.

“Is it possible not to add the strawberries?”

“Oh, no problem. I’ll take it off now.” She scratched it off on the paper.

I’d done it. I spoke up for myself. Blowing out a heavy sigh of relief, a small smile tugged at my lips. My first instinct was to tell Giancarlo, but I quickly remembered the phone call and shoved the thought to the side. Not yet. I need a little more time. I fished in my pocket for the cash Giancarlo had left me. It was way more than I’d ever had.

I nodded, paid, and made sure to leave a tip as I waited for my food. Although it was busy, they had my order out in less than thirty minutes.

“Thank you.”

She smiled at me. “Have a good day.”

I waved on my way to the exit and took out my phone. I’d walked aimlessly before, but I would need a map to get home.

Phone and food in hand, I headed back toward the house. I still wasn’t sure how I would face Giancarlo after what I’d heard. Do I bring it up to him or pretend like I never heard anything? My stomach knotted further. What if I brought it up, and he got angry with me? My steps faltered. I didn’t want Giancarlo to be angry with me. There was always the possibility that he’d kill me, but I couldn’t picture it even after everything. Giancarlo killing me sounded like an improbability, like seeing a unicorn or werewolf. More likely, he’d just be upset. Why did it feel like that would be worse than death?

I swiped on the phone Giancarlo had bought me, and my finger hovered over his name. I wanted to ask him what I should do. What I should think.

“This shouldn’t be so hard.” I clicked back on the map and glanced up to make sure I was going the right way. The world moved in a blur as I was yanked off the sidewalk and dragged into the damp shadows of the alley. A shout clogged the back of my throat and stayed there as I stared back into familiar eyes.

My blood pounded in my ears as I was faced with the man I’d hoped I’d stay away from for the rest of my life.

“Dad?”

“Who else?” He shook his head at me, glancing around the alley before meeting my gaze again. “That thug knows where you are?”

No. The realization of that thought had panic slice through my veins. I clenched my fist tighter around the takeout bag in my hand. The bites of pain from my nails digging into my flesh did little to keep the fear from making my body feel like lead.

“Ye-yes.” I hadn’t lied to my father in years. I knew the punishment if I did, but everything in me screamed if I told the truth, something bad would happen.

“Shit,” my father spat. “He’s been keeping you locked up like some damn princess.”

Why is he here? How?My mind was trying to come up with answers, and the only thing I could think of was my father had me watched. I thought back to the three men across from Gin’s house. Shit. Of course, he had. How fucking stupid could I be? There was no way in hell I’d escape him. It wasn”t possible. I’d let a little seed of hope blossom in my chest like a fool.

“Aren’t you going to greet your old man?” His jaw ticked as he glared down at me.

My limbs were frozen. Every move I made took more effort than it should. “What are you doing here?”

My father’s eyebrows dipped. It was the only warning I got before he rammed his fist into my stomach. The air was knocked out of me as I bent over in pain. He grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked me back up.

“Forgetting your manners already? Hanging out with scum made you forget where you come from, boy?”

He was right. I’d been with Giancarlo for a while now. He’d encouraged me to speak my mind, to do things I like. He opened the door for me to be me or at least find out who I was.

I needed to shut that door. I forced a smile on my face slipping into old habits like slipping into jeans that were too tight. I could fit, but it was cutting into every inch of me.

“Sorry, father. Won’t happen again.”

“Better not.”

The moment his hands were off of me, I could drag in a breath. Now if only I could get my legs to work and run away from him.

Ha, run away, where would I go?My old thoughts came crashing through, reminding me it was best to give my father what he wanted without any fight. Smile and be good. It was the only way to live.

I could run to Giancarlo.The stupid thought barreled through me in full force. I glanced at the alley’s opening and turned my body, ready to run to him.

A heavy fist crashed into my shoulder. My back slammed into the brick wall, nearly tearing a shout from me. I swallowed it down and pushed past the pain. I clenched the bag with Giancarlo’s and my food harder, determined not to let it go and spill it.

He’s going to be hungry when he gets home.I know it.

“Don’t forget where you come from, who you belong to.”

“I belong to Giancarlo Vitale.” The words had left me before I could think about them. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m so goddamn stupid.

Hurriedly I thought of something to placate my father. “I mean for now.” The words tasted bitter on my tongue. “He’s paying me.”

My father stepped closer and glared down at me. He didn’t look or feel nearly as terrifying as I remembered. Giancarlo and his brothers were far scarier. I forced those thoughts away before I messed up again. My cheeks burned as I kept the fake smile plastered to my face.

My father squinted at me. I was certain he would beat me or, worse, drag me back to hell. The place I once called home.

Anywhere but there.

“How much?” he demanded.

“Huh?”

My father’s hand collided with the side of my head. “How much money? Don’t be a dumbass.”

Right, money was all my father thought about. It shouldn’t surprise me anymore. Yet I kept holding out hope that he’d think about me for once.

Stop it. I never used to allow my thoughts to even reflect my negative feelings toward my father, but being around Giancarlo was changing that.

I looked away and reached into my pocket. I had a few twenties left over. “Um, this is—”

My father snatched the money from my hands.

“All I have left.”

“Eighty bucks, that’s it?” Dad tossed his hands up after he pocketed the money. “You need to get more than that.”

“What?”

My father moved toward me. I flinched away, only for him to drape his arm over my shoulder. “Money. I know he has more in that house.” He squeezed me closer to his body, almost like a hug. “I’m not going to lie to you. It’s been hard out here since you left. The house is so empty, and money is tight.” He pulled back and met my gaze. “I need your help. You need to pay me back for all those years I took care of you.”

“You want me to steal?”

“Don’t sound like a fucking pussy. Have some damn balls, or has that fucker cut them off already? He got you wearing skirts and lipstick now?”

I shook my head hard, lost for words.

“What does he have you doing?” Dad pinched the bridge of his nose. “He fucking you in the ass?”

I shook my head. “I—”

“Don’t lie to me, boy.”

My back stiffened, and I instantly stared at my feet. “I cook and clean.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes,” I said, my voice barely a whisper. Giancarlo, please come save me.

No matter how much I wished and prayed, I knew the truth. No one was coming. No one ever came. I shoved down every thought of happiness and hope to the deepest parts of my soul. They weren’t ever really going to be mine, no matter what happened.

“Good.” My father’s hands landed heavily on my shoulders, cementing me to the spot. “Keep up the good work. Pretty soon, we can be together again.”

I didn’t want that. I wanted to— My mind drew to a halt at the first thing I might have wanted. It wasn’t reasonable, and it was fucking insane.

“Ash, are you listening to me?” my father snapped.

I jerked my head up. “Yes, father.”

He didn’t look too sure. His phone dinged, and he pulled it out. “Shit, we will meet up again. I’ll find you. Leave the damn house by yourself.” He edged the alleyway going the opposite way of the main street. “I expect more money.”

My father didn’t wait for confirmation, and I didn’t give him one. I stared at the other wall before falling. My ass crashed into the concrete. Pain vibrated up my body, but it did nothing to distract me from the confused feeling pulsing through me.

I pressed against the wall sucking in shallow breaths, my mind only going to one person.

Giancarlo. I need you.

“Ash?” a familiar voice called out.

I blinked a few times. Slowly, everything came back into focus. Smooth dark skin and a friendly smile greeted me.

“Hey, doc.”

Melony looked around. “Giancarlo isn’t here?”

I shook my head. I wished he was. She offered her hand, and I realized I was still on the ground. I jumped up, instantly regretting it as my torso and ass erupted in pain.

“Are you okay?” Melony’s concerned voice broke through the pain-filled fog.

If she knew what had happened, she’d tell Giancarlo. “I’m fine.”

She didn’t look convinced. Melony bent over and picked up my now cracked phone. “Here you go.”

“Shit.” I must have dropped it when my dad yanked me into the alley. Giancarlo bought it for me, and I went and broke it. Today wasn’t my fucking day.

“Why don’t you come to the clinic with me?”

“I’m okay, really,”’ I rushed out.

She nodded. “Okay, but you might as well know where the clinic is just in case you ever get hurt out here or need some medical attention.” It didn’t seem like she would take no for an answer.

I walked with her for another block before we came upon a small brick building. The sign read, “All welcome clinic.”

“Catchy name, right?” Melony laughed.

“Simple and to the point.”

She nodded, turning on the lights. I followed her to the back, where there was a small room. It looked like any other doctor’s office. She grabbed some clothes and started to change. I turned to face the door to give her some privacy.

“I can step—”

“What’s happened?” Melony asked, interrupting me.

I shook my head, unsure if I should say anything. My head was a hellscape. No matter how hard I tried to clear it, it wasn’t happening. My father was to blame for five percent of my torment, and even with the encounter, the one man who dominated my thoughts was Giancarlo. It was like he was implanted so deep in my psyche that no matter how I tried to ignore him, he just kept buzzing around.

“You look like you watched someone get murdered.” My head snapped up, and Melony sighed as she rested her face on her hand. “If that’s the case, it didn’t happen.”

“How do you get over it?” I turned back around and faced Melony. “Not that it happened.” I wasn’t okay with people getting murdered. At least, I didn’t think I was, but more than that, I didn’t want Giancarlo to get in trouble.

Or taken away from me.

She shrugged. “You accept it.”

That’s it?

“Everyone chooses what they can and cannot handle. Some of us choose to be blind to it, and some choose to embrace it.” Melony sighed. “It’s not easy, but it all comes down to what you can live with.”

Could I live with Giancarlo knowing his hands were drenched in blood? I wasn’t na?ve. That couldn’t have been Giancarlo’s first time, and it wouldn’t be his last.

Melony clapped her hands together, dragging my attention back to her. “I didn’t think the day would come when Giancarlo had someone around him longer than a night again.”

“Again?”

She nodded. “He had a girlfriend a few years back. She split, couldn’t deal with, you know, everything.” Melony waved her hand around. “Thought she was a forever type. She even designed his entire house. But not everyone is built for this life.”

The idea of Giancarlo having a girlfriend sent an uncanny rage through me. I wanted to march back home and demand he never thought about her again and toss out everything she’d installed. I resisted the urge, folding my arms over my chest to contain myself.

“Do you think I’m built for it?”

Melony slipped on a white coat over her banana-patterned scrubs and tied her pink curls up. “Ash, do you think you can accept the man and his deeds? There is no dividing someone like the Vitale brothers. They are who they are. Can you live with that darkness?” She lifted her hand before I could answer. “Think about it. If you say yes, there’s no going back.”

I shut my mouth and mulled it over. Melony had a point; it wasn’t something I could decide right now. Not when I was so indecisive. On top of that, I was easily pushed into things. No, I needed time to think until I wasn”t paralyzed by the thought of making a choice.

We made our way into the main area with multiple chairs lined up. An older woman walked through the door.

“Afternoon.” She smiled at me, and I waved in greeting. She went behind the glass panels and started to set up.

“Thanks, Melony.” I stopped before I left, chewing my lip.

“Can you, um, keep this from Giancarlo?” I twisted around and shook my hands in front of me. Shit, how that sounded was messed up. Was I stupid? “I mean, you don’t have to lie if he asks, but I don’t know if he will ask. I mean, it would be nice, but I don’t want him to know how you found me. He will worry, and then something bad will happen, and it will just be adding more shit onto his plate, and the last thing I want is to be a burden. What if he gets rid of me all because I—”

“Calm down, Ash.” Melony chuckled lightly as she shook her head at me. Her pink curls bounced around her face. “Doctor-patient confidentiality.” She winked, gave me ibuprofen from her pocket, and glanced down at my torso.

I’d thought I was hiding it well, but not well enough, apparently. My shoulders dropped instantly. Still, I let out a sigh of relief. I took the pill, thankful for anything that would dull the ache. “Thank you.”

“You’re sure you don’t need me to walk you back?”

“No, thank you.” It was nice of her to offer when she had work to do. “I’m a grown man. I should be able to walk by myself. Thanks anyway.” I might have been sheltered, but I could most certainly find my way home.

Home.

Giancarlo’s grinning face came to mind instantly. His dark eyes sparked with mischief, and no doubt something obnoxious was waiting to come out of his mouth. My heart skipped a beat. I wanted to return home to him as soon as possible. I turned on my heels and left the clinic after Melony waved.

A monster I know or the monster I’m falling for. What’s the better option? I didn’t have to think about which one I preferred. My life had never been about what I wanted but what others wanted from me.

Maybe it’s time I changed that.