Chapter Thirteen
What sucks the most about having Acadia’s labyrinth as the final one is that Acadia is Laconia’s largest region. If you’re looking at a map, it takes up the entire southern half of the continent, in addition to most of the land east of the central capital. All of this to say: it takes a fucking long time to get there.
Longer than it did Pylos and Magnysia put together, but at least Acadia is rife with water, meaning we can bathe and eat whenever we want.
Yeah, I’m not proud of it, but I’m getting used to eating fish and other creatures that live their entire lives underwater. Past me would be shocked and stupefied, but then again past me never went as hungry as I did on my journeys around Laconia.
During the traveling, I try my best to keep everyone’s minds off of the little fight Frederick and Invictis had in Magnysia. I talk about random shit, like college and my classes. I talk about how my dad used to take me to the zoo for every birthday—and then I have to explain what a zoo is, and then Frederick asks a thousand and one questions about all of the animals we have back home.
It works, mostly… that is, until night falls and we set up camp and everyone has nothing to do but sit and stare at each other.
Weeks go by, and we find a watchtower—Catarin Tower, the same tower I hunkered down in when I was in search of Frederick’s dad’s stuff. Even though it’s not dusk yet, we call it a day so Frederick can look around at the books and see if there’s anything important he wants to bring with us.
As Frederick searches the tower, I stand on the balcony that’s on the highest floor, the one just off the sleeping level of the watchtower. I lean against the stone wall, staring at the sunset on the horizon. Acadia is so flat, you can see for miles all around. It really is something beautiful.
Only a few clouds in the sky, the falling sun has painted them in different hues. Some in pretty pinks while others in bright oranges while the actual sky slowly darkens.
I’m only alone out there for a moment, though. Within the minute, I hear footsteps as someone comes out onto the balcony with me, moving to stand beside me. I don’t need to turn my head to look; I can smell who it is.
Invictis.
What’s he smell like? It’s difficult to describe. He smells like warmth, like when you’ve been out in the sun long enough to get a tan but not long enough to burn, with a faint cinder-y background. It’s not the worst smell in the world.
“Do you remember when we first stopped here?” I ask him without looking at him.
“I do.”
“You were so good at lying. I never imagined you were… that you weren’t some wizard the empresses got jealous of and decided to imprison.” A bitter smile graces my face. “How stupid was I?”
Invictis leans his tall frame down, setting his forearms on the chest-high stone wall before us. Well, chest-high for me, not for him. “To be fair, you were as clueless as a person could be. Very easy to manipulate, in hindsight.”
His bluntness makes me laugh even though it’s the opposite of funny. “I believed you. I ate up every word you said, which when I think about it, doesn’t make sense. I’m not the kind of person who falls for shit like that.”
I kick at the stone balcony with the tip of my foot absentmindedly. Being gullible, wanting to believe the best in people; that wasn’t me. I’m as skeptical as someone can be. Falling for Invictis’s lies… what does that say about me?
Or, I guess, what does that say about him?
“Don’t feel too bad,” Invictis muses. “If it were anyone else I was bound to, they would have lost their minds immediately. So, yes, you did fall for it, as you said, but you held out—more than what could be said for anyone else.”
Again, I laugh, only this laugh is more like a chuckle, and I’m slow to turn away from the sunset in the distance and angle my body toward Invictis. I stare at the side of his face, take in his profile, before I say, “You’re not very good at making people feel better, are you?”
“Comfort is not familiar to me. Death is.”
“If death is your gift, why can’t you remember what happened before the first high empress? Why can’t you remember what this kingdom was like before it was Laconia?”
That gets Invictis to turn away from the sunset and look at me. I’m suddenly aware of how close he stands to me; just a small sidestep and he’d box me in against the balcony’s stone wall. With Frederick inside, on a lower floor, it’s too easy for me to imagine we’re alone here.
And being alone with Invictis… it was something I was used to, but now? Now things feel different, and if there’s one thing I learned in life, it’s that change is very rarely good. Just look at everything that happened to me before I came to Laconia.
Hell, look at me now: a high empress with no magic, bound to an ancient evil. A high empress who has a part of that ancient evil nestled away inside of her, a part so small even Invictis did not recognize it.
It must be the reason. That tiny piece inside must be why I feel so connected to this asshole. It’s the only explanation that makes sense; anything else… any other reason just sounds stupid.
“When you live forever, time ceases to matter. Your short-lived mind cannot comprehend how long I was trapped inside those labyrinths, waiting for someone foolish enough to unleash me. Memories fade, even for me. The only thing that endured was my fury,” he tells me, acting as though it should be obvious.
“What are the odds that a group of people from another kingdom found the labyrinths, put you back together, and set you free with one order—and that order was basically the same thing you would’ve done anyway? It seems weird to me, like it’s too much of a coincidence.”
Invictis’s head tilts as he studies me, his blue gaze lazy. “If it is not a coincidence, what would it be, then?”
I’m slow in saying, “I don’t know.” What I want to do is ask Invictis if he can feel anything out there—another him—but I don’t. A part of me still stupidly hopes it’s just paranoia on my part and that all of my heavy lifting—AKA heavy fighting—is done.
I mean, if there’s another Invictis out there, somewhere, how the hell am I supposed to beat him if I can’t use my magic? Sure, I have the golden asshole next to me, but his heart won’t be in it. He won’t want to fight himself. Plus, if there’s another Invictis, that Invictis 2.0 will be whole. What if he’s too strong for me?
What if he somehow unbinds Invictis from me? Then I’m fucked every which way, and not in the fun way.
I’m too lost in my own head, and I don’t know how long my thoughts take all of my attention, but eventually I realize Invictis is still staring down at me, his golden brows slightly furrowed in concentration, like he’s deep in thought, too. He wears an intense look on his face, the corners of his mouth curved in a stiff frown.
I thought it the first time I saw him sitting on the throne in Acadia’s castle: a frown should not be that hot. No one should frown and instantly get sexier. It just doesn’t make sense.
“What?” I ask even though I’ll probably regret it.
“You.” Invictis pauses. “You are unlike everyone else. I… I find it strange. I cannot explain why you are unlike them.”
I look down, my gaze falling to his chest—what’s eye-level for me, basically. “Maybe I’m unlike everyone else because of that tiny piece of you inside me.” It’s not out of the question. It’s very possible he can feel the connection between us the same way I can, and that tiny piece has to be the reason.
“Perhaps. It would not surprise me to learn that you are only great because of me.”
Okay, that’s too smug. Angling my head back, I glare up at him, ready to say something smart, but the moment we lock eyes, any witty retort that might’ve been ready on my tongue disappears.
He’s not frowning anymore. His frown has been replaced by an even more attractive smirk—God, I hate myself for thinking anything about him is attractive. I hate myself even more for wanting him to take a step to the side and box me in against the balcony, place those strong arms on either side of me and…
No. Bad, Rey.
“Or,” he whispers, “perhaps you truly are one of a kind. Perhaps it was only a matter of time until fate brought us together.” Invictis moves, almost like he read my mind or something, and places himself in front of me so that my lower back now leans against the stone wall on the balcony’s edge.
My breath catches. Gazing up at a man so beautiful, how could it not? Ancient evil or not, he’s the hottest man I’ve ever seen in my life.
This is usually when I remind myself the face he’s wearing isn’t his, that, technically, it belongs to Empress Morimento’s son, but this time I can’t remind myself of that. This time all logical thoughts vanish in my head.
“I was… enraged, hateful, all the time. All I could think about was getting free and killing everyone. It’s what I was made for. My purpose. I am that which never dies: death itself. You were meant to be a stepping stone, a tool to unite me. I am still filled with fury. I am still death made flesh, but you make it—”
There are a million ways he could finish that statement, and yet the word he says isn’t one I anticipate and it makes my heart do something weird in my chest.
“Less,” he offers up the word simply, as if it should be obvious. “You make it all lessen. I do not understand why, nor do I understand why I want more. It is a human trait to crave more. Your limited time makes you gluttonous. I should not feel this way.” He sounds almost angry when he adds, “I should not feel this way about you.”
Everything he said to me in that dream comes tumbling back, and though I’ve done my best to ignore it and forget about it, standing there with nowhere to go, with his intense expression bearing down on me and his body blocking out my escape route, I’m forced to.
He said he wasn’t lying. I didn’t believe him.
I didn’t want to believe him then, and I still don’t want to. What does that say about me if I do? If I believe him, if I accept it, if I say I want him, too? How many lives were lost in Laconia because of him? How many people has he killed? My mom, Prim… the list goes on and on.
What kind of person will I be if I want this, if I want him?
“It’s as if whatever invisible force has been guiding me since the dawn of time itself now pulls me in another direction entirely,” he says, his voice dropping to a bare whisper. “It’s pulling me to you.”
I want to say something, but I’m damn near speechless. This isn’t a dream that’ll end right before things go too far; this is real life. I know I can always command him to shut up and take a step back, but am I strong enough to?
Maybe I’m too weak. Maybe I want this after all.
How wrong is that?
“Seeing you injured in the first labyrinth… it brought back the same feelings I had when I—” He abruptly stops and lifts a hand, placing it above my shirt, on my side, near my abdomen, where he impaled me with a blade of light.
Of course, my shirt is once again fucked up and covered in blood thanks to the first magical guardian. It really is like déjà vu.
Invictis sounds conflicted when he whispers, “I thought I would feel nothing but triumph when that blade pierced your skin. I believed it was your destiny, that you would fall as everyone else had. I was wrong.”
Thankfully he’s only touching my shirt and not, you know, actual skin. If those fingertips brush against my skin beneath my shirt? It’ll be game over.
“You make me weak,” he whispers, and his accented voice makes it sound as though he’s disgusted with himself over it, like he doesn’t understand why. Like weakness is the worst possible thing that could happen to him.
It takes me a while to gather my thoughts, mostly because this conversation changed so quickly I have whiplash from it, but also due to how serious he is, how heavy his blue gaze is as he stares down at me, not to mention the way his hand firmly presses against my side, where I have nothing but a scar to remind me of the day he stabbed me and nearly killed me.
And then he brought me to Laconia and healed me.
“It’s not weakness to have emotions besides anger and hate,” I say.
“A single girl who knew nothing of magic a year ago was able to defeat me and bind me to herself. If that’s not weakness—”
“Maybe I’m just stronger than you,” I say with a grin.
His jaw grinds, and yet he wears a slight smile. “Stronger than me? Rey, be serious, for once.”
“I am serious. Completely, one hundred percent—” I plan on saying more, but the hand resting above my scar moves to my arm, and the moment his hand brushes along my bare skin, I shiver and freeze, unable to say anything else.
His fingertips dance across my tattoo, the one we share, and it’s like the magic between us comes to life. The tattoo on my arm and wrist starts to glow, and the one he has that mirrors mine does the same. I hear him inhale a sudden breath, like he wasn’t expecting it, and it takes every ounce of willpower in me to not close my eyes.
And it’s a good thing I don’t, because if my eyes close, I would miss the fact that his blue irises flash with a molten, shimmery gold. A part of the true Invictis shining through a human’s face.
The breath that comes from him after that is ragged, almost pained, and the lower half of his body leans against mine as he whispers with an urgency I can practically taste, “What are you doing to me?”
“I’m not—” I realize then he might’ve meant it as a rhetorical question, so I shut up. Also, his tattoo-less hand rose to my face and is now touching my cheek while his other hand still touches the glowing mark on my other arm.
We’re connected, some deep part of us. I can feel him, parts of him I shouldn’t, his emotions, his desires, his hunger, and it’s overwhelming. Enough to drown me and keep me submerged in his depths. He is still everything I should hate and nothing I should want, and yet…
The hand on my cheek nears my mouth, and the back of his thumb brushes against the corner of my lips, and just like that, any sane thought in me leaves. Any part of me that might’ve stopped him dies.
It’s wrong, but I don’t care.
I hate him, but I don’t care.
He’s the bad guy in this story, and I just don’t care.
How can it be so wrong when it feels like destiny? How can I hate him for everything he’s done when I want him so badly it hurts? How the hell can he be the bad guy when I can’t imagine destroying him for good?
I don’t know exactly when it happens, but something changes. We both come to the realization that neither of us is going to pull away. Invictis bends his top half down the same moment I stand on my tiptoes and reach for his neck to anchor myself to him. It happens so fast, but at the same time it happens slowly.
I’m the one who presses my lips against his first. Just a quick peck before I pull myself away and crack open my eyes.
Invictis is watching me, though his face is now so close it’s pretty much one big blur. That said, his eyes still glow gold. He studies me, my face, my lips, and then he acts by dropping his hands to my hips and hauling me up. Before I know it, my ass is set on the stone wall of the balcony mere moments before our mouths meet again—and this time, he’s the one who goes for it.
Now that he doesn’t have to bend down at a God-awful angle, it’s easier on the both of us. I’m able to wrap my arms around his neck the moment his mouth crashes down on mine, and I spread my legs so his body can fit between them. His arms circle me, holding onto me with a fierceness that tells me he wouldn’t let go for the world.
If he smells like light and warmth, he kisses like fire. His mouth on mine ignites a heat deep within my belly, drawing out all of the emotions I spent so long trying to bury. Hunger and desperation personified, every inch of my skin set aflame.
It’s clumsy at first, but whether that’s due to the sheer level of desire between us or the fact that, in all probability, he’s never kissed anyone before, it doesn’t matter. As the seconds wear on, the embrace gets less clumsy and worlds more eager.
Every part of me is buzzing. It’s like Invictis made something explode within me and I’ve never felt more alive. More wanting. Fireworks popping off in my head and certain parts of my body, my back arches against him as his arms tighten around my back.
He could push me off the balcony. He could let me go and I’d be too dumbstruck to tell him to catch me before I hit the ground. He could do a thousand terrible things to me right now and I’d be too busy flying high to stop him.
But he doesn’t. He doesn’t do any of those things.
By the time our lips part, we’re both panting for breath, and through slit eyes, I can see his still glow gold, matching our still-glowing tattoos.
“That,” Invictis murmurs between heavy breaths, “was…”
“Careful,” I warn him. “If you want to kiss me again, you better say it was good.”
“The world could’ve crumbled around us and I wouldn’t have known.”
I grin. I can’t help it. I’d say that’s a good thing. A hell of a lot better than good, that’s for sure, and the silly thing is, I feel the same. There could’ve been earthquakes, lightning, tornadoes, and anything else nature could throw at us, and I wouldn’t have noticed.
Invictis’s lips are softer than they look, and the guy’s a quick study. He went from inexperienced to panty-wetting real fast. And the way his arms are still wrapped around my back… yeah, a girl can get used to that.
He gives me a wicked smirk before saying, “I wouldn’t mind doing it again.”
What else can I do? I’m in no position to resist. Plus, if I’m honest, I’m still all tingly from the first embrace, so why not kiss him again? And again and again and again… and maybe a dozen more times after that, just to be sure?
Invictis kisses me again, and I respond in kind. This time, we get more familiar with each other’s mouths, and I blow his damned mind by nibbling his lower lip. The man actually groans when I do it. Or maybe he growls. Either way, it’s a low, deep sound that echoes from his wide chest and reverberates straight into mine.
We’re so lost in each other that neither of us hear the third person in the tower coming outside: “You’ll never guess what I found: an account of the first year after the woes appeared by the head researcher who—” Frederick must stop the moment he spots us and realizes what we’re doing.
Invictis doesn’t want to stop. I can tell he wants to make a point, prove to Frederick that he’s the one who should be kissing me, not Frederick. His arms become steel around me, but the moment I hear Frederick’s voice, I’m brought back to reality.
And I realize I’m making out with the asshole who killed my mom.
It’s a repeat of what happened before, only the positions are switched. Frederick can’t grab Invictis by the throat, but he can pull him back as he says, “Get off her, you…” Either he can’t finish his insult, or he’s too flabbergasted at what he walked in on.
Invictis glares as he steps away from me, and I’m slow to hop off the balcony railing. I can tell Invictis wants to fight Frederick—and Frederick, even though he’s holding onto an old book, would probably fight him in return—but I have to try to nip this in the bud, so I say, “Invictis, give Frederick and me some privacy. Go wait on the ground floor for ten minutes.”
The harrumphing sound Invictis lets out before storming away tells me just how ridiculous I’m being and how furious he is over our embrace being interrupted. Frankly, he’s only getting a taste of his own medicine.
Frederick watches him as he goes, and once we’re alone on the balcony, he comes over to me, a concerned look on his face. The book he’s holding onto might snap in half if he’s not careful with it. “What was that? Tell me it wasn’t what it looked like, because, to me, it certainly looked as though you and Invictis were getting intimate with each other.”
I roll my eyes. When he says it like that, it sounds like we were about to fuck, but we were far from that… I think. I hope.
Damn it. I don’t know.
In the end, all I say is, “It’s complicated.”
“How is it complicated? He is—the things he’s done, the things he will do if you set him loose… it’s not complicated at all, Rey. He’s a monster. A demon. A creature we do not understand.”
I close my eyes and rub tiny circles on my temples. “Trust me, I know what he’s done. I know he’s dangerous. I know! I don’t need you reminding me every two seconds!” I may raise my voice a bit too much, but Frederick doesn’t flinch, which must mean he’s really worked up.
Before he can say anything, I work on calming myself down and adding, “Look, I know, okay? I know everything you’re going to say. I know I shouldn’t have. I know it’s stupid. I know he’d gladly kill all of us if he could, but… I don’t know. A part of me hates him for everything he’s done, but at the same time, it’s like I can’t hate him.”
Frederick inches closer to me, his voice dropping to a whisper, “Do you think this connection you have with him is due to the piece of him that’s inside you?”
“If it is, then how am I supposed to fight it? How can I ignore it? He’s in my dreams, Frederick. He’s always there, and I…” I bite my bottom lip. “I don’t think I mind it anymore. I think I like him being there.”
It’s a long, tense moment before Frederick asks, “And what about me?”
“It’s different with you.”
“Different how? If you feel anything for that thing,” Frederick uses his free hand to point at the tower, “I don’t know how you can feel a thing for me. We are opposites.”
I take a step toward him. The sun has pretty much set, which means there isn’t much light at all for his eyes to reflect. Instead of a warm amber color, they’re a dark brown right now, and it’s through those eyes that I can tell Frederick might be jealous, yes, but he also wants what’s best for me.
I reach for his free hand, and thankfully he doesn’t pull it away from me. “I know,” I whisper. “I know how good you are, just like I know how bad he is. I’m not blind. I know all these things—and it probably doesn’t make any sense to you, but I… I feel so—”
Confused. Torn. Stuck in the middle.
Frederick sighs. “Truly, I only want what’s best for you, and even if you decide it’s not me, if it can never be me, I do know that it can’t be him, either. I care about you, Rey. I’m not going anywhere. If you were to unbind him, though… I doubt he’d stick by your side and be the man you want him to be.” He pulls away from me after that, leaving me in the darkening light to ponder his words.
I watch him disappear into the tower, feeling some kind of way. I’ve definitely come down from the high of the make out session, and I can guarantee I’ve hit the ground full-force.
What if it’s not Frederick? What if it’s not Invictis? What if it’s neither of them? Or… what if it’s both? With how crazy everything is, I can’t imagine doing anything without them. Frederick and Invictis are two sides of a coin; you flip it, you get one or the other. You can’t get both.