25
What in the entire fuck, Puddin’!”
Thad stood in the bathroom doorway, praying he was mistaken about what those dark brown blobs dotting the floor were, but knowing he wasn’t. Mainly because it was the smell of liquid dog shit that had woken him from the piss-poor sleep he’d been struggling to get.
It was just after four a.m. A car was scheduled to pick them up at six thirty to get them to the studio in plenty of time before their spot in the morning show’s nine o’clock hour.
“A half hour,” Thad said. “All I wanted was another half hour of sleep.”
Puddin’ let out a mournful wail and began turning in a circle. Then he hunched down on his skinny legs.
“No,” Thad said, but it was too late. Fuck! The bathroom floor looked like a dalmatian.
For a moment, Thad just stood there, paralyzed. What was he supposed to do with this? He didn’t want to use the hotel’s towels to pick it up, but he didn’t want to call housekeeping to take care of it either. There wasn’t a tip he could leave that would be large enough to compensate a room attendant having to clean up this mess.
But before he took care of the bathroom, he had to see about this dog.
“You would decide to get sick when you’re hundreds of miles away from your vet,” Thad said.
His vet may not be close, but the next best thing was just a door away.
He hated to wake Ashanti this early, but he knew she’d be angrier if he let her sleep and risked Puddin’s health. Seeing as she was raising twin sixteen-year-olds, he doubted she had her text messages silenced during overnight hours, so he took a chance and sent a text.
Within one minute there was a knock on the door that connected their two rooms.
“What’s wrong with him?” she asked as soon as Thad opened his side of the double doors.
He took a second to process her attire. The faded, threadbare New Orleans Saints T-shirt and cut-off sweats confirmed everything he already knew. She was his perfect woman. He had never been one for lacy lingerie—that shit was itchy, not sexy. Give him soft, warm, and comfortable.
She looked so soft, warm, and comfortable.
“Thad, what’s going on with Puddin’?” she asked.
He jerked to attention and shook his head.
“Uh, I don’t know,” he said, stepping out of the way so she could enter the room. “He has the shits. The bathroom is a disaster zone.”
“Puddin’ Pop,” she called. “What’s the matter?”
Why did Thad suddenly want a cute, stupid nickname? He hated himself right now.
He started to close the door just as Duchess came waddling into the room on her stout little legs, following Ashanti to the bathroom. He joined them.
Ashanti looked up from the floor, where she was already attacking a liquid shit pile with toilet tissue.
“This isn’t that bad,” she said.
“Isn’t bad?” What in the hell was it, if not bad?
“No. He’s probably just nervous because he’s in a strange environment. It tends to happen to some dogs. I have loperamide in my bag because I was afraid Duchess would need some.” She threw the wad of tissue in the toilet and flushed. Then she rubbed Puddin’ on the head. “A little of that and a tummy rub should do the trick, huh, boy,” Ashanti said.
She reached for more tissue.
“You don’t have to do that, Ashanti. I’ll clean this up,” Thad said.
She shot him a grin. “I’m used to it.”
“How does anyone get used to this?” Thad said, bringing his T-shirt up to cover his nose and mouth.
“Oh, don’t worry, you’ll get used to it soon too. Give me a sec.”
She washed her hands, then went back to her room. After a couple of minutes she returned with a purple-and-white box, along with a bag of treats. She handed both to him.
“These cookies have a soft center. Take one pill and hide it in the soft part. Then give Duchess an unmedicated treat, because she’ll be jealous if she’s left out.”
She returned to the bathroom while he sat on the edge of the bed and did as Ashanti had instructed. Once both dogs had eaten their treats, he scooted down onto the floor, pulled Puddin’ to him, and started rubbing his belly. Duchess immediately walked over to his other hand and nudged it with her head.
“Really?” Thad asked.
Another nudge.
“Come here,” he said, fighting back a grin as the Frenchie snuggled in next to him.
He closed his eyes, leaned his head back against the mattress, and wondered if he could make it as a doggy massage therapist if The PX didn’t work out.
“You do not play fair.”
Thad’s head popped up. “Huh?”
Ashanti stood in front of him, hands on her hips. “I tell you that I can’t get into any kind of involvement with you and then I catch you doing the absolute most to win me over? Not fair, Thad.”
He grinned as he continued to rub the dogs. “I was a Ranger for eight years. It’s not in my DNA to give up after the first try.”
Duchess abandoned the head rub and waddled over to Ashanti. Puddin’ was quick to join them.
“Well, I guess these hands aren’t as magical as I thought,” Thad said.
“I doubt that,” Ashanti said. She looked at him, her eyes going wide.
“Yes, you said that out loud, but according to our agreement I’m supposed to ignore it.”
She blew out a sigh. “I still have—” She looked at her watch. “Twenty more minutes before my alarm goes off. I’m going back to bed.” She snapped her fingers. “Come Duchess. You too, Puddin’.”
The three of them went into her room and she closed the connecting door. It was hard for him not to feel left out, but it wasn’t as if he had expected an invite when she’d just reminded him that she was against the two of them getting involved.
Remaining on the floor with his head against the bed, Thad closed his eyes and utilized those power-napping skills he’d honed during deployments.
Three hours later, as he downed his second cup of coffee in the greenroom at Up Early with Leah and Luke!, he was forced to acknowledge that his power-napping skills didn’t have the same effect as they used to. He would have to count on caffeine and adrenaline to take up the slack.
Thad had convinced himself that Puddin’s early-morning shit show portended how the rest of the day would progress, but he was cautiously optimistic that all was not headed for the outhouse. In a way, he was grateful for Puddin’ and his weak stomach. The incident had smoothed the edges of tension he feared would show up between him and Ashanti after the way they’d left things last night. When he’d met her in the hallway a couple of hours after she’d returned to her room with the dogs, it was as if that kiss between them, and any uneasiness it may have ushered in, had never happened.
He wasn’t sure how he felt about that part. He was still working out the steps forward in his head.
Ashanti stood at the buffet, adding flavored creamer to a cup of coffee. The dogs were in another holding room because, as it had been explained to them, the guest for the segment just before theirs was allergic to pet dander. A bonus and a raise for whoever had come up with this morning’s schedule.
Thad walked up to Ashanti and snagged a mini croissant from the table.
“You nervous?” he asked.
“Tell me I’m hiding it well, even if you have to lie to me.”
He laughed. “Actually, you are. That’s why I asked.”
“Are you nervous?”
“Not as much as I thought I’d be. I felt a lot better after that production assistant said the segment will only be four minutes and twenty seconds. We were on that podcast for an hour yesterday. Less than five minutes today should be a breeze.”
An old Bruce Springsteen song sounded throughout the studio, a teaser to the story that was right after theirs on the lineup about some charity event the legend was headlining in his home state of New Jersey. The PA came into the greenroom.
“You’re up,” she said. “Puddin’ and Duchess are being brought in now.”
They were led to a living room setup with a cream-colored couch that had to have been custom made—at least eight people could fit on that thing—along with two upholstered chairs.
The hosts simultaneously rose from the anchor desk adjacent to the set and started for them. They were both taller than Thad had expected. And they were undeniably twins. If Leah wore her hair slicked back instead of in a crown of coily natural curls, Thad wouldn’t be able to tell them apart.
“Thanks so much for coming to the show, and for bringing the dogs all the way to New York,” she greeted. “I’m handling this segment, but Luke wanted to meet the pair.”
“And the two of you,” Luke called from where he crouched before the dogs.
“Thanks so much for the invitation,” Ashanti said. “I’m such a big fan. I still can’t believe I’m here.”
“Coming in,” someone called from the shadowed part of the studio. He, Ashanti, and Leah took their places on the couch and Luke hauled ass.
“We have a real treat for you all this morning,” Leah opened. “And it all started with a dog biscuit.”
A short clip of Duchess and Puddin’ getting caught with the Duchess Delights treat ran, followed by ten seconds of people’s online reactions to the video.
“I think it’s safe to say the country is obsessed with Puddin’ and Duchess,” Leah said once the montage ended. “What has this been like for the two of you and, more importantly, for the dogs?”
Thad sat back and watched as Ashanti gave a spirited account of all that had transpired in the past week without any hint of the nerves she’d feared. She was masterful, getting in mentions of both the daycare and Duchess Delights.
“And how about you, Thaddeus? How does it feel to know your poodle is one of the most beloved dogs in the world?”
Ashanti’s eyes widened with apprehension. Thad flashed her a smile before focusing on Leah.
“Makes me feel like the luckiest man alive. Everyone loves Puddin’, but I’m the one who gets to play fetch with him every day.”
He couldn’t be certain, but he was pretty sure he heard Ashanti squeak. He glanced at her and had to cover his laugh with a cough. How could she look to be on the verge of exploding yet look so damn good at the same time?
“Excuse me. What was that, Leah?” Thad asked.
“I asked about your venture, The PX, that will soon open in New Orleans. I absolutely love the story behind it.”
Thad knew their time was running short, so he gave a brief overview of the mission behind The PX and their push to get it up and running by Veterans Day.
“I know what’s about to become my new social media obsession,” Leah said, after Thad mentioned following the progress of their build on The PX’s Instagram account. She pivoted back to Ashanti. “Ashanti, are Duchess Delights available online?”
She cleared her throat. “Not yet, but we plan to launch an online storefront soon. Along with a bakery once we’re at our new location.”
“Well, I’m sure I speak for every pet owner in the country when I say that I cannot wait to order. And can people contact Barkingham Palace if they want their fur baby to be treated like royalty for the day?”
“Of course,” she answered.
“There you have it, folks,” Leah said. “Stick around. Just after the break we’ll tell you how to score your chance at seeing The Boss live in concert while supporting a worthy cause.”
“That was amazing,” Leah said once they’d gone to commercial. “We went over our allotted time, but the interview was going so well that the producer told me to just roll with it.”
“Thanks again for having us,” Ashanti said.
Leah leaned in closer and said in a slightly lower voice, “I have to say, you two make such a lovely couple.” She winked. “The chemistry pops.”
Thad was about to tell her that he thought the same, but then the production assistant ushered them back to the greenroom.
“Hang here for just a minute,” the PA said, then was gone yet again.
“Oh my God, why did I say that?” Ashanti asked, clamping both hands to her head.
“What?”
“That people can call the daycare. Deja is going to murder me. Or she’s going to quit.” She dropped her hands and punched Thad on the arm. “And what about you? ‘I get to play fetch with him every day.’ I almost lost it.”
“I noticed,” Thad said with an unrepentant grin. “I thought that was pretty good.”
“Be honest, you were part of some clandestine counterterrorism unit or something,” she said.
“Why would you think that?”
“Because that lie came out much too easily for someone not used to doing it.”
“You don’t know if it’s a lie. Puddin’ and I may play fetch every morning, and he just doesn’t tell you.”
Her freckles seemed to dance with her grin. “You are full of that stuff I cleaned up in your bathroom this morning.”
One of her braids fell from the updo she wore and he brought his hand up, pausing a moment before pushing it behind her ear.
“You did good out there to say you were nervous,” he said. He let his fingers linger a second longer than necessary, reluctant to leave behind the feel of her soft skin.
“So did you,” she said, her voice restrained as she stared up at him. “I… I think Ridley will be pleased with the amount of charisma you found between yesterday and this morning.”
“It had been staring back at me in the bathroom mirror this entire time. Shocked the hell out of me.”
Her laugh was gentle. “Well, keep it going. This media circus is just getting started.”