69. Daisy
Iwas still standing at Jace’s grave when everyone else had gone back to the house.
I’d insisted on having a memorial service at the Mercer family cemetery at the back of the property. It was near the top of the falls, the sound of the water rushing to the river below.
Jace would be at peace here.
There was no body. The storage building at the compound had burnt to the ground, Jace trapped under a falling beam when he and Wolf and Otis had fought their way out with an ax they’d found in the attic.
But he deserved a place to rest. Finally.
I knew Wolf and Otis were somewhere behind me, their eyes shielded by sunglasses even though the sky was suitably cloudy. They’d been with me every second since the fire, had kept everyone away, even Cassie and Sarai and Ruth, wrapping me in their protective embrace even though I knew they were hurting too.
I stared at the marker and felt the pit that had been expanding in my chest since the fire widen further. Every time I thought it couldn’t get bigger, it proved me wrong. It was a black hole of grief, consuming everything in its wake.
Jace William Kane
Beloved
2001 - 2024
My knees were weak and I sank to the ground in front of the marker, tears streaming down my face, a sob ripped from my throat.
I saw Jace as he’d been to everyone else: expression cold, green eyes glinting with quiet fury, a storm cloud swirling around him to keep everyone away.
Then I saw him the way he’d been with me, his forehead tipped against mine, his anguished eyes searing my soul.
I see you.
He had. And I’d seen him too. I would try to remember that in the days ahead, in the days when a cold wind blew through the emptiness of my heart.
He’d been good. That was the thing I didn’t get to tell him.
I prayed that somewhere he was watching, that he could see into my soul and know he’d been better than any of the people who’d thought he was nothing. I prayed that he’d known I loved him.
That even once, he’d felt that love.
I heard his voice, a whisper on the wind.
I see you.
And then I heard something else.
Now get off your fucking knees.
Laughter mingled with my sobs. Fuck you, Jace Kane. Fuck you for finding me. Fuck you for leaving me.
His laughter echoed through the rustling leaves on the trees. On your feet, princess.
I stumbled to my feet and felt Wolf and Otis grab my arms, rushing forward to steady me as I swayed in front of Jace’s grave.
What was the point of being strong, of fighting, when eventually, you lost every person who mattered to you anyway? What was the point in living when life took everyone that made it worthwhile?
But as my head cleared, I started to understand, to feel a sense of purpose. I thought about the fire, about Jace being stuck in the building, telling Wolf and Otis to go without him, to protect me, he’d said.
Someone had lit the match that had taken him from me. They’d thought it would be the end, but they were wrong.
It had been just the beginning.
“Ready, sunshine?” Wolf asked from my right.
“We can stay longer if you want,” Otis said on my left.
I shook my head. “I can come back any time.”
I let them lead me away, toward the sound of the Blades celebrating Jace’s life in the house he’d been meant to live in with me.
With us.
I looked back only once and found a crow sitting on Jace’s marker. It looked at me with its black eyes like it knew what I was thinking.
And maybe it did.
Because I was done taking hits, taking losses. The person who had taken Jace from me had lit the match in our little game.
But I was going to burn the whole fucking thing to the ground.
Thanks so much for reading Pay the Price. Read the conclusion of Daisy and her Beasts in To the Grave and find out what happens when all the secrets are revealed — and some of them are worth dying for.