Peacocks (Licking Thicket #5)

Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Lane

“And can you actually look me in the eye and tell me that man would turn down a job like the one I offered you so he could stay in some hick town and make calf’s eyes at Jaybird Proud?” Chad demanded.

I’d gotten used to surprises since moving to Licking Thicket. No two days were ever the same here, and my life was the opposite of boring. Still, having my ex-boyfriend show up, crash my lunch date, offer me a job, and stage an intervention?

As Jay would say, “That wasn’t on my bingo card.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, even though the situation wasn’t funny.

“God. You’re right. You’re right, Chad. I definitely would not have,” I admitted.

The Lane he’d known, the guy I’d been before moving here nine months ago, would never . I’d been all about having an important job title and important degrees, important connections and an important boyfriend, like being surrounded by all that importance would make me important too.

Fortunately, I knew better now.

I’d moved to this weird and wonderful town. I’d made friends from all walks of life. I had a career I found truly fulfilling…

And I’d met a man who showed me every day what it felt like to actually feel important.

I gave Chad half a second to look a little relieved and a little smug before I took a breath and continued. “But I’m not that guy anymore. Moreover, I have no interest in being that person ever again.”

“Oh, Lane, come on,” he sneered. “You want me to believe you’ve had some kind of Hallmark aha moment where you realized Lick-A-Hedge, Tennessee, is a magical place, and you suddenly have the desire to plant trees and commune with nature in the town gazebo? I know you, Lane.”

I cocked my head and studied Chad. When we’d broken up over a year ago, I’d been genuinely upset. I’d believed all the bullshit he’d spouted at the end about my lack of commitment to our relationship and my emotional unavailability. I’d thought it was my fault.

Now I knew better about that too, and it was a real relief.

“Do you? What do I like on my toast?”

Chad tilted his head at me as if I was a strange creature he couldn’t make out. “On your toast?”

“Yeah. You know me, you said. You just recounted every single degree I’ve earned and every award I’ve won. We were together for months. So what do I like on my toast?”

“Uh, butter?”

I thought back to the little jar of honey that was present every time Jay made me breakfast, though I’d never seen him use it himself. Chad and I had shared many breakfasts in our time together, but he’d never noticed my preferences, let alone gone to any effort on my behalf.

I grinned at him and nodded. “This explains a lot. You think you know me, Chad. But you don’t. You act like you’re interested in me and my future, but you’re not,” I said. “You wanted a partner who looked good on your arm, someone whose resume coordinated with yours. And that’s okay?—”

Chad’s chin came up. “Excuse me? I’m a professional. An academic. It’s not wrong for me to care that the man I’m with is as ambitious as I am. And I can recognize a mid-life crisis when I see one. I’m worried about you. I’m trying to be a friend to you here, Lane, despite your failures as a romantic partner?—”

I shook my head. “No, you’re not. You are an unfeeling, entitled elitist of the first order. You’re the worst kind of snob. You’re probably offering me this job because it makes you feel less guilty about how shitty you were when we broke up. You can’t imagine that I’m truly happier without you. But you know what? It turns out you were the problem. So… thank you, Chad.” I smiled. “Truly. Our breakup was the best thing you’ve ever done for me. Now, take me back to the clinic.”

It was clear that Chad didn’t know how to take my genuine gratitude, so I stopped talking and made my way to his Lexus.

The drive back to the clinic was silent and awkward. Chad made a small huff of laughter as if trying to provoke me into starting something, but I barely noticed. I truly didn’t care what Chad thought of me or my choices.

Jay, on the other hand…

My stomach roiled. What the hell did Jay think now that he’d met the unfeeling ass I’d spent a chunk of my life with? He must have lost all respect for me over the past hour, and who could blame him? Certainly not me.

I was furious with Chad for being an unfeeling, embarrassing asshole but even more furious at myself for allowing him to ruin my lunch with Jay.

I’d had a plan, damn it.

I’d told Jay casual after our first hookup because once I’d let down my guard and started believing all his acts of kindness were sincere, I’d been scared as fuck of just how much I liked him… and how badly I wanted him.

But from the first night, there’d been nothing truly casual about us.

The more time I spent with Jay, the more I wanted to spend. There hadn’t been many nights I hadn’t wanted to be with him, regardless of whether we hooked up or not.

Jay was just… good . And he was so much more than that. Sexy, funny, clever, energetic, empathetic, generous. Most of all, he was kind. The world needed more people like Jaybird Proud. I needed more of him.

And I’d set out to tell him exactly that by arranging a special meal at the Thicket’s known “couples” restaurant—a lunch, since the Steak n’ Bait’s dinner reservations at this time of year were gobbled up months in advance—and specifically ordering their Tot -ally Tied Together Entwinin’ Platter.

It was the kind of cheesy gesture that Thicketeers let themselves enjoy without shame, and while the old me might have scoffed, the new Lane—the one who freaking loved this town and all its sentimentality—was totally here for it.

What better way to ask Jay to make our not-casual-ness official than by doing it in a time-honored Thicket tradition, right?

And then fucking Chad had shown up.

Chad pulled into the handicapped spot in front of the clinic door and turned toward me. “You didn’t used to be this stubborn, Lane. I don’t know how to make you see reason. What do you want from me?”

I laughed, though inside, I was raging. He’d shown up out of the blue without warning, acted like one of the greatest men I’d ever known was nothing but a splotch of mud on his shoe, and now he was acting like I was the unreasonable one?

I knew exactly what I wanted from him. “We’re done, Chad. We’re not friends, and if I didn’t make this clear earlier, I already have a job I love. Please go be happy. Have a wonderful life. I truly want that for you. But don’t mess with mine ever again.”

I opened the car door and got out. Without a backward glance, I strode into the clinic.

My clinic.

The veterinary practice I enjoyed running with Alva, where I was proud of the work I was doing, and I was happier than I’d even realized.

When I stepped inside, Pete stopped what he was doing. “Omigosh, tell me everything. Did you really date that guy? Was that a wedding ring on his finger? Think he’s in an open marriage? Think he’d be interested in a younger, slightly vertically challenged…” He frowned. “Wait, where’s Jay?”

I lowered my voice and kept my eyes on Pete. “Is Chad gone?”

Pete craned his neck to see. “Yeah. He’s gone.”

I blew out a long breath. “Good riddance. I doubt he’ll be back, but stay away from him. He’s mean as fuck.”

“Shit.” Pete blinked. “Why’d you date him, then? Wait, don’t answer that. He probably has other assets that made up for it, right?” He bounced his eyebrows. “I’ll let a guy be a little mean if he’s good at what he… does .”

“He’s not good at what he does,” I said with a laugh. “He’s average at what he does, and it’s not worth putting up with his bullshit. He’s a bunch of advanced degrees in a trench coat, pretending to be a human.”

Pete nodded. “Wow.”

“I’m genuinely embarrassed that I used to date him. If you’d heard the shit he said to Jay, how gross and insulting he was…” I shook my head and pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes until I saw starbursts behind my lids. “What a clusterfuck.”

Pete came around the counter, locked the front door, then guided me back to the break room. “Mrs. Newman canceled. She said Sassafrass ‘isn’t in the mood’ to be placed in her kitty carrier, which means there’s nothing on the schedule for the rest of the day.” He pushed me into a plastic chair and took the one beside me. “So tell me everything.”

I opened my mouth to prevaricate, feeling a resurgence of the awkwardness I’d felt when I first moved here. I hadn’t been used to opening up to people and trusting that they wouldn’t use it against me.

But Jay had taught me differently, and I realized I was done denying my feelings for him.

Slowly, I explained the whole tale to Pete, starting with Jay’s incredible acts of service, then our “casual” hookups that had quickly turned into more.

“Hunter explained the whole concept of tater-tots-as-a-symbol-of-commitment to me a few weeks ago, so I made reservations at the Steak n’ Bait for me and Jay. I was going to tell him… I was going to see if…”

Pete grinned. “You were going to get him drunk on tots and ask him to go steady, weren’t you?”

I closed my eyes and counted to three. “Not the phrase I was planning on using, but yes.”

He nodded. “I approve. Jay’s a good guy.”

“The best,” I said idly. “But now it’s all…” I let out a breath. “Chad made me sound like an ass. He was judgmental and petty. Rude and snobbish. I can’t even imagine what Jay thought. He was so offended and disgusted he wouldn’t even ride back here with us.”

I’d noticed on my way in that Jay’s truck no longer sat in a spot way off to the side of the parking lot, where he’d parked it so as not to inconvenience anyone. That was how Jay was… unlike the jerk in the Lexus who’d pulled into a handicapped spot without a second thought.

“My plan’s ruined,” I whispered. “I wanted to convince Jay that… that we belonged together. Instead, that lunch showed that I’m an asshole with terrible taste in boyfriends. I wouldn’t blame him if he wanted nothing more to do with me.”

“Ex-boyfriends,” Pete said.

I turned to look at him. “What?”

“Lane, you have terrible taste in ex -boyfriends,” he said reasonably. “Lots of us do.”

“Oh.” I considered this. “But Jay was so angry and hurt. I could tell, even though he tried not to make a scene. And he probably blames me—he should —because it was my fault Chad was even here?—”

Pete raised a hand and cut me off. “Do you think Jay is stupid?”

Riled as I was from the disastrous lunch, I didn’t stop to consider what Pete was really asking. I immediately bristled from head to toe and stood up so fast the legs of the chair screeched against the linoleum floor.

“Are you serious right now, Pete Winchell? Jaybird Proud is maybe the smartest person I’ve ever met! If you think for one second that’s not true just because he doesn’t have a bunch of fucking diplomas on his wall, then you’d better think again. Jay is talented. He can fix nearly everything. And he knows people. He cares . He’s openhearted, and open-minded, and generous, and…”

I trailed off when I saw Pete’s grin.

“Uh-huh. I know how smart he is, which is how I know he’s not going to blame you for Chad. And… frankly, I think you’re the one who’s a little dense when it comes to Jay. He knows you’re a good guy,” Pete said kindly. “He likes you. Like, a lot . No landlord brings their tenant a snack every single day, Lane. Not even in the Thicket. Not even if that landlord is Jaybird Proud. I’d bet money he feels the same way you do. You just need to talk to him.”

I flopped back in the chair, completely out of sorts. I couldn’t stop thinking of Jay’s face when he’d gotten up from the table at the restaurant—the tightness of his mouth and the bleakness in his eyes. The idea of Jay being hurt, of me causing that hurt, made me want to vomit. “He was upset, Pete. I’ve never seen him bolt out of a place that fast before. I should have never invited Chad to lunch.”

Pete shrugged. “You’ll explain and apologize. So what if you’re not perfect? Jay’s pretty down-to-earth. He wouldn’t go for someone who wanted to be perfect all the time.”

Pete’s words made something click in my brain. I thought about my time with Chad. Our glossy, picture-perfect life in Athens. From the outside, it had seemed enviable, but inside, it had been stifling.

I’d been running on fumes, chasing a vision of success—a level of perfection—that was as hollow as Chad’s compliments.

“I don’t want a perfect life,” I murmured, processing this new realization. “Perfection’s not attainable or sustainable.”

“Nope. Not any fun either,” Pete agreed. “Jaybird Proud, though. He’s tons of fun.”

I inhaled deeply, remembering the time back in March when the weather was still a bit chilly but with the first hint of spring in the air. Jay had decided to host a “Firepit Feast” in the backyard, complete with a bonfire, homemade chili… and outdoor charades.

“BYOB,” he’d told the guests. “Bring your own blankets.”

When it was Quinn Champion’s turn to play, the man had taken one look at the selection on his piece of paper, shrugged, and immediately started running around the yard while flapping his hands, ducking his head, and jumping over furniture.

“You’re a… a chicken,” Diesel Partridge had guessed. “Throwing a tantrum because the Wi-Fi in the Poultry Palace went out.”

“You’re… Beyoncé’s least-coordinated backup dancer?” Brooks Johnson had offered.

“You’re… little Beau Siegel after gorging himself on leftover Halloween candy,” Brooks’s husband, Mal, had thrown in, laughing when Ava Siegel—Beau’s mom—slapped his leg.

“You’re… you , the morning you managed to buy Taylor Swift tickets,” Quinn’s husband, Champ, had said blandly.

Quinn had stopped flapping and given his husband a raised-eyebrow glare that suggested Champ would be paying for that tease later… though Champ’s answering smirk had said he wouldn’t mind one bit.

“Nah. You’re Indiana Jones when he’s escaping from the Temple of Doom,” Jay had said with utter confidence. “Easy peasy.”

Quinn had thrown up his hands. “ Thank you, Jay,” he’d said, breathless from exertion. “Finally. At least someone around here understands me.”

“Jay is fun,” I told Pete, unable to keep a smile off my face. “He’s fun, and he’s kind . And I love him for it.”

“Love?” Pete said, grinning and bouncing his eyebrows again. “You gonna make him a wreath, Doc Lane? Wrap your vines of love all around him?”

My stomach twisted even as I waved a hand. “I’m gonna try. I made him a wreath a while ago. It’s terrible, but it’s done. I mean. Kind of. Overdone, maybe. I tried fixing it a few times, and it didn’t get any better.” I scraped my upper lip with my teeth. “It’s a lot of pressure, making a wreath for the Thicket’s Entwinin’ expert.”

Pete tsk ’d. “It’s the gesture, Lane. Not the craftsmanship. And you’re not about perfection anymore.”

I remembered Jay the night he’d introduced me to Disco Dave, telling me that nobody expected perfection in an Entwinin’ wreath because “the real perfection is the love the maker has for their Entwined.”

Loving Jaybird Proud was the only kind of perfection I was interested in anymore.

I nodded. “Thanks, Pete. That helps.”

“Talk to him, Doc. And get on out of here. If anyone shows up needing their anal glands expressed, I’m your man.”

I let out a laugh and headed home as quickly as possible.

I was surprised to find that most of the afternoon had passed while I’d been talking with Pete. When I got back to Jay’s house, the lights in his garage workshop were on, casting a warm glow into the dusky yard.

I knocked on the open garage door, stepping inside when he didn’t respond. Jay was hunched over his workbench on a stool, his hands busy weaving wisteria vines into a wreath. He didn’t greet me with his usual “Howdy, neighbor.” He didn’t even look up.

“Hey,” I called, suddenly hesitant.

“Hey. Thought you’d be a while,” he said without turning around. “Catching up with Chad and all that. Getting the scoop on your new job. You looked real excited.”

I blinked. Had I? Maybe, for half a second. The research position was the sort of thing that would have excited me… before I’d figured out what, and who, I really wanted.

I stepped closer. “Do you think I should take it?”

His shoulders lifted and lowered, the faded denim of his shirt covered in bits and pieces of dried vine. “Why wouldn’t you? Sounds like a good opportunity. You’ll get to spend time with the kind of folks you like to spend time with. Folks who are smart, like you. You deserve it. H-happy for you.”

Jay didn’t sound happy in the slightest, and that knowledge gave me courage.

I stepped closer again, wanting nothing more than to lean my face into his neck and inhale deeply, apologize, and beg for forgiveness.

“Too bad I turned it down, then, huh?”

He pivoted on the stool until he faced me, his expression uncharacteristically shuttered. My chest ached with the knowledge I was partially responsible for it.

“You…? But I thought… Chad said that job was exactly what you wanted.”

“It might have been, once. But…” I pressed my lips together for a moment as if in thought. “I love my job here. I love house calls to Dunn’s farm just to find out Bernadette the pig is unhappy with her new nail polish color. I love watching kids like Jolly Parsons bring in the new puppy she earned with her hard work walking other dogs in the neighborhood. And I love standing in line at Henson’s Grocery, overhearing that you donated a brand-new parka to the old coat drive and knowing it’s because you still can’t bring yourself to get rid of a coat I wore one time, months ago.”

Jay’s eyes widened. “You heard about that?”

I stepped closer and used my thumb to gently brush a piece of dirt off his cheek. “I did. And I thought, ‘Now, that is a guy I want to spend time with. That is a guy who’s smart ‘cause he knows what’s really important.’”

He blinked, and I almost laughed.

“You make me feel so cared for, Jay. So understood. So liked . And I set up a whole lunch at the Steak n’ Bait so I could tell you how much it means to me…” I grimaced. “But then I had to go and ruin it with an accidental assholering.”

The edges of Jay’s lips quirked up. “You’re the one with the big vocabulary, but I don’t think that’s a word, fancy pants.”

That tiny glimmer of a smile did things to my insides. “I am so sorry about today. The things Chad said… the way he treated you… It was disgusting, and I told him so. I’m ashamed I ever dated him and even more ashamed to think I might have once acted like that?—”

“Hey, now.” Jay’s smile disappeared, and he clapped a hand over my mouth. “Stop talkin’ silly talk. You could never, Lane Desmond. Not possible.” He shook his head angrily. “I used to wonder what kind of fool your ex must’ve been to give you up… Now I’m just sorry you wasted a second of your time with him.”

If Jay wouldn’t listen to my words, maybe I could tell him how I felt with my actions.

I removed his hand from my mouth, then leaned down and pressed my lips to his.

He made a muffled sound of surprise and appreciation that quickly turned into a low groan as he deepened the kiss. Jay’s hands moved to my hips, pulling me down until I was straddled over his legs on the metal stool. I arched into him, pressing my thickening cock against the bulge in his pants.

“Come upstairs with me,” I murmured against his mouth. “I want you more than you could ever know.”

Jay pulled back and studied me. “You sure about this?”

I cupped his face and met his eyes. “As sure as you are that Partridge Pit’s barbecue is better than Susie Dupree’s.”

He frowned again. “Well, but… that’s just a fact , Lane.”

I nodded. Jay had once talked for twenty minutes straight about the Pit’s secret-recipe sauce. “I know.”

“And their commitment to offering vegan options?—”

“I know, baby.”

“And they make their own pickles, which?—”

I kissed him again because I couldn’t help it.

“Jaybird,” I said, laughing. “Do you want to stand here talking about barbecue all night, or do you want to go upstairs and… rattle your train for me?”

Jay didn’t hesitate. He jumped up, turned off the lights, and shut the garage door behind us.

After leading him up to my place, I took my time undressing him, dropping open-mouthed kisses on every newly exposed inch of him as I went. By the time I had Jay naked on my bed, I was short of breath from wanting him.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” I said, eating him up with my eyes.

Jay’s body was lean but strong, thanks to a lifetime of physical jobs. I was obsessed with those arms he displayed on a daily basis, with his broad shoulders and his taut stomach. I wanted to lick every inch of him, connect the dots across his freckled chest with my tongue and turn them into pictures, to kiss him until he couldn’t see straight.

But more than any of that, I wanted to make Jaybird feel as seen and as loved as he made me feel every day. “What would make you feel good tonight?”

He huffed out a laugh. “This. All of this. What you’re already doing.”

I pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “What else?”

His eyes darkened. “I want to fuck you, Lane.”

My stomach tightened with need and desire. We’d talked about it before, but for the past few months, we’d been too eager to get off with quick handjobs and blowjobs to need anything more.

“Yes,” I breathed.

Jay shifted us quickly until I was flat on my back and all of those muscles were pinning me down. My heart rate picked up as I imagined him thrusting inside me. Fuck, I wanted that.

“You going to relax?” he asked with a teasing glint in his eyes. “You’re practically vibrating.” He moved his hand down to run a finger over my hole.

I groaned.

The room was warm, the soft glow of the bedside lamp casting Jay’s shoulders in golden light as he leaned over me. His weight pressed against me, grounding me, and I couldn’t look away from the way he was watching me—like I was the only thing that mattered in the world.

“Lane,” he murmured, his voice rough, reverent. He brushed his thumb across my cheek, his other hand settling on my hip. “Are you sure?”

I nodded, my throat tight. I tried to cut the tension with a joke. “Sure I want you at least half as much as Disco Dave did when he first arrived.”

Jay’s gaze softened, and he kissed me again, slow and deliberate. His lips were warm, his beard rough against my skin as he trailed kisses down my neck, over my collarbone, and lower still. Each touch left a trail of heat in its wake, every flick of his tongue pulling quiet gasps from my lips.

His hands were everywhere—firm and steady as he guided me into place, my body open beneath him. I shivered as his fingers trailed down my stomach, skimming over sensitive skin before settling between my legs.

“You’re perfect,” he murmured, almost to himself. Then he glanced at me with flushed cheeks. “Prettier than a peacock.”

I huffed out a laugh, my head falling back against the pillow. “Pretty sure that’s going on the list for cheesiest line anyone’s ever used during sex.”

Jay shook his head, grinning. “Give it time. I can get cheesier.”

I wanted to give it time. I wanted to have all the time in the world with him.

His fingers slipped lower, circling me in a way that made my breath hitch. He took his time, his movements coaxing me open until I was panting, my hips lifting into his touch.

“Jay,” I breathed, gripping his arms. “Please.”

He leaned down, brushing his lips against my ear. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he said, his voice barely above a deep whisper. “Tell me if I do.”

“You won’t,” I promised, my voice shaking. “I trust you.”

He kissed me again, slower this time, his lips lingering on mine as he reached for the bottle of lube from the nightstand drawer. I heard the faint click of the cap, the cool sensation of the gel slicking his fingers before he pressed them against me.

I gasped at the first touch, my body tensing instinctively before I forced myself to relax. Jay’s hand was steady, his voice low and soothing as he murmured soft reassurances against my temple.

“That’s it,” he said, breath warm against my skin. “Relax, sweetheart.”

When he finally slid inside me, the stretch was intense, a mix of discomfort and pleasure that left me breathless. Jay stilled, his body trembling with restraint as he gave me time to adjust, his hands gripping my hips like they were the only thing tethering him to the moment.

“Lane,” he said again, his voice breaking. “You feel so… God, you feel amazing.”

My fingers tightened in the sheets, my body arching into his. “Yes, fuck,” I managed, my voice a little desperate. “ Jay .”

He moved, his hips rolling forward in a rhythm that sent sparks of pleasure racing up my spine. The discomfort faded quickly, replaced by a growing heat that built with every thrust, every brush of his skin against mine.

“Is this okay?” he asked, his voice strained. “Am I?—”

“Don’t you dare stop,” I gasped, cutting him off.

Jay’s movements grew faster, more urgent, but he never lost the tenderness in his touch. His lips found mine again, swallowing my gasps and moans as he pushed me closer to the edge. Every thrust hit a spot deep inside me that made my vision blur, my body trembling as the pressure built to an unbearable peak.

I thought about how affectionate he was with me, how protective. How much he always put my pleasure above his own. How much I trusted him. Emotion overwhelmed me. I wanted to say something to tell him what I was feeling, but I was still scared my confession would somehow screw things up.

“Jay, I—” I started, but the words were swallowed by a cry as I came undone beneath him, the pleasure ripping through me like a wave. My hands gripped his back, nails digging into his skin as I shattered in his arms.

Jay wasn’t far behind, his rhythm faltering as he groaned my name, his head dropping to my shoulder as he followed me over the edge.

We stayed like that for a long moment, our bodies tangled, our breaths mingling in the quiet. Jay pressed a soft kiss to my shoulder before rolling to the side, pulling me with him.

“You good?” he asked, his voice low and rough.

I nodded, curling into his chest. “That display more than lived up to the train rattling.”

He chuckled softly, his hand trailing up and down my back. “Good. Because I don’t think I can move for a while.”

I smiled, letting myself relax against him. In his arms, I felt whole, complete, like every jagged piece of me had finally found its place.

I’d been patient, just like Disco Dave had learned to be… and now, finally, I’d found my mate.

And for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t afraid of what came next.