Phantom

September 22, 1944

I cannot believe what I discovered today.

What has my life become?

I’m at a loss for words. John doesn’t know that I know who he’s working for now, and truthfully, I don’t even know what to say.

It’s the only thing that is currently keeping us from losing our house and casting our daughter into the streets. It’s keeping John alive so Sera doesn’t lose a father.

But that doesn’t make it any easier of a pill to swallow.

And Ronaldo ... I can’t help but feel a little lied to, though I know it’s not fair. He made it clear that his boss was dangerous, but I wish he’d just still told me.

I don’t know how I feel about any of this. I’m so incredibly conflicted.

Is it terrible that this doesn’t make me want to stop seeing him?

It should. He said he’s killed before and he will continue to do so.

That alone should have me running far away.

Yet I still want to stay.