Chapter 14
IN THROUGH THE NOSE, out through the mouth. She imagined Erik’s voice, a low whisper in her ears.
“PayPal is another example of an organization that saw the benefit of taking an external expense in-house and turning it into a product it sold for its clients. Previously, they had been spending $200 million a year on fraud detection with mixed levels of success. When they turned their efforts inward to create their own fraud detection platform, the result was a product they could market to individuals and other companies. This product now brings in approximately $100 million a year.”
“At what point does an organization determine when the cash outlay is self-defeating? Do they need to see an opening in the market?” Professor Dryer asked, looking down at his notes.
In through the nose, out through the mouth. Focused on her breathing, remembering her timing. Questions aren’t meant to intimidate you but to initiate discussion, Christine.
“Not necessarily. Sometimes it’s about market disruption. Offering a product not offered by third parties can be the linchpin to massive revenue streams.”
“Can you give me an example?” Rafe called out .
“I…” Christine flipped through her notes. His was not a tricky question, but she was drawing a blank. “In the Index, I have examples of some case studies.”
“Let’s stop there. I need to get home to my wife anyway. Good work tonight, Christine.” Prof. Dryer gave her a fist bump, which made her smile. “I’m going to be away for the Thanksgiving holiday. Let’s pick up again in December for one more session before the spring semester.”
“Thank you. I’ll work on the references for my case studies.”
Prof. Dryer gave her a friendly wave, leaving her behind with Rafe while he cleaned up the room.
“I gotta say, I’m impressed with how well you’re doing compared to where you started.”
“Thanks,” Christine said proudly. “I’ve had a lot of support, both from you and Professor Dryer. Erik’s training has helped me stay centered and calm. And it helps to be prepared. I only wish I knew the questions they’ll ask ahead of time.”
“Preparation is key in how well you know the material, but you’re right—going through the questions in your head and in front of others is different. We can focus on that in our future sessions. Meanwhile, can I walk you to the subway? I had something I wanted to discuss with you.”
“I have a car picking me up, but you can keep me company until it arrives.” Rafe fell in step with her, and Christine looked up at him. He was a good deal taller than her, the top of her head matching up to his shoulders. His blonde hair spoke of summers at the shore and winter vacations in the Bahamas. Even with that difference in their upbringings, something about him put her at ease. He was still the boy who rescued her red hat. “What did you want to discuss?”
“I don’t know if you’re around during the holidays, but my parents have this huge Christmas party at their home in the Hamptons. This year, it’s on December sixteenth. I told my parents I’d reconnected with you. They were so sad to hear about your dad.” His face momentarily fell. “Anyway, they specifically asked if I would invite you to join. I know it’s a drive out there, but you can stay the night if you need…”
Her eyebrows snapped together, processing his invitation. “As you may know, Gardner is having its gala on New Year’s Eve, so I’ll be working pretty hard until the new year.”
“I know it’s a lot to ask when you’re so busy, but it could be a good networking opportunity. My dad is involved with recruiting new talent from Columbia.”
“Wow—that’s really nice of you.” Philip and Keri Cantor had always been considerate of her and her father. Philip was a well-known financial mind in his own right and ran one of the country’s largest consulting firms. Keri was a society darling involved in some of New York’s most significant philanthropic efforts. “Can you send me the info? I can’t promise, but I’ll try to make it. Please tell your parents I say thank you.”
“I will. It’ll be nice to see you outside of the halls of Columbia.”
“I agree. Thanks again.” She waved him off as she entered the car driven by the ever-surly Garret.
Rafe’s offer brought a concern to the forefront of her mind—one Christine had been dwelling on for some weeks. What was she going to do after she graduated? She’d long made Gardner Industries her professional goal. Still, it felt inappropriate now that she and Erik were involved. What if they broke up? What if their relationship was discovered? After the ridiculous drama of Jessie Skies and the TikTok video that made her a five-minute celebrity, she hesitated to have anyone question her intelligence and play it off as her being unworthy of her achievements.
She and Rafe went way back, and his parents had always been kind. There was no harm in networking with an old friend. Even if she wasn’t the right fit for his company, Philip Cantor had connections around the city.
“Do you do work with Cantor Alliance Consulting?” Christine asked Erik later that evening as they ate dinner. Garret had picked up Italian from a restaurant on Arthur Avenue on his way to get Christine, per Erik’s request.
“Yes, we’ve used them occasionally in valuations. They’re good at determining operational inefficiencies when we’re looking at companies for acquisition.”
“Good company?” She took a sip of wine.
“A little boring, but nothing controversial. Well-respected. Why so curious?”
“Rafe’s father is the manager partner. I’ve been invited to their family holiday party next month. Rafe says it could be a good networking opportunity.”
“You’re going to a holiday party with Rafe’s family?” Erik stilled while cutting his chicken Milanese, his shoulders tensing.
“I knew them when I was a kid. Rafe told them we met again at school, and they invited me. I told him I’d let him know.”
“Do you talk to Rafe a lot?”
Erik’s tone left much to be desired, making Christine uneasy and angry. This wasn’t curiosity. This was pure, unadulterated jealousy and fear.
“He’s the teaching assistant for my thesis adviser, so I talk to him every week.”
“But do you converse a lot outside of school?”
“Define ‘a lot ’?” She was going to make him work for this. Let him spell out how unreasonable he was being.
Erik’s blue eyes were full of dark fire. “What do you think I mean? ”
“I honestly don’t know. You’re certainly not accusing me of having a perfectly normal relationship with someone I’ve known on and off since I was eight years old. I just want to understand what you’re trying to get out of me.”
“Why do you need to network with him? You’ve got a job waiting for you at Gardner.”
“First off, job or no, it’s never a bad idea to have a networking relationship with someone as noteworthy as the Cantor family, especially as they specifically invited me to join. Second, what makes you think I’m for sure going to work at Gardner?”
“I thought it was your dream.”
“Yes, it was. And now I’m dating the majority shareholder and CEO. Do you see how that could be a little bit awkward?”
“So what if we’re dating? That doesn’t mean you can’t work there.”
“Yes, but if I work for you, especially after the Halloween video, everyone will assume it’s because we’re sleeping together. It’ll make me look unqualified. No one will take me seriously.”
“What about Rafe? Do you think he’s doing this out of the goodness of his heart? He’s probably doing this because he’s interested in you.”
“And if he is? Let’s say he is interested in me. Does that mean he gets to date me?” She omitted the fact that Rafe had asked her out to karaoke a few weeks ago.
“I just find it hypocritical that you’re willing to take favors from him and not from me.” Erik stood up with his wine glass and walked over to lean against the back of the couch. She didn’t think he was purposefully using his height to intimidate her. Still, she reflexively leaned back, hating that he’d inspired that reaction in her. He was restless in his anxiousness. That needed to be nipped in the bud.
“First off, as we discussed, your favors have always been foisted upon me without considering my desires. I know you talked to Marie about my upcoming presentation at the January board meeting. You did that without consulting me, and it’s not because I’m great at my job. It’s because I’m your girlfriend.” Christine had learned the news only that morning on a call with Marie.
Erik’s jaw dropped at her statement, but he quickly recovered. “You need more presentation practice. Marie can step in if you need help at the board meeting—and you are, in fact, great at your job.”
She ignored the flattery. “Yes, but you should have asked me first. If you’d come to me, I would’ve said yes. It is a great opportunity.” The venting of her fears set her on edge even while it offered her some relief to verbalize them. Going through a honeymoon phase was so lovely, but arguments amped up her naturally ingrained anxiety. It made everything less stable. Christine had no experience of living in a two-parent home, so she didn’t know if arguments were normal or a sign of things going wrong. She’d never been in a relationship that had gotten to that stage. “I know you want to help me, and I appreciate that, but you’re not my benefactor. I love you for you and not what you can do for me. You need to have faith that I’ll go out into the world, make things happen for myself, and still come back to you.”
“You love me?” Erik whispered in reply to her heated diatribe.
It was the first time Christine had ever told anyone aside from family that she loved them. It was utterly sincere, if not particularly well-timed, as far as declarations went. Her cheeks warmed as the enormity of what she said sank in. Moving to her side, Erik lightly gripped her shoulders. She didn’t want to look at those blue eyes, so triumphant in their knowledge, and she raised her shoulders to shake off his touch .
“I’m not done being angry with you, so don’t you dare try to kiss me!”
He obediently stepped back, his hands fisted by his sides, eager to hold her.
“Yes, I love you, Erik. But I won’t be beholden to you or anyone else. You deserve a partner who’s here for you and not what you can give them.”
“That’s horseshit.”
“What?”
“I love you too, and I think you’ve known it since Halloween. Why shouldn’t you have a partner who supports you? Wouldn’t you do as much for me? Is this imbalance—my wealth and position—worth interfering with what we have together?” He motioned with his hands, highlighting the space she was putting between them.
Erik sighed wearily. “Yes, it makes me uncomfortable that you’re friends with another man, especially a handsome man.” He paused, closing his eyes and nodding slightly.
She started to interrupt him. Looks had nothing to do with it, and he needed to know that.
He stopped her with a hand. “ But —that’s my issue. I know I’m being unfair and I… apologize.” Erik’s grimace showed how much he hated admitting he was wrong about anything. “You should go to the party and charm the heck out of all of them. Get fifty job offers. But I want to be able to help you too.” He sighed. “We can talk about what that means and what you’re willing to accept, but if we’re partners, it means we support each other.” His anger faded as he pinned her with a look so poignant she wanted to melt.
“You had to do so much on your own since your father died. I want to spoil you for the years you missed.”
“But on my terms.” She sniffled.
“On your terms,” he promised.
“Okay, that’s a good apology.” She gave him a watery smile. “And you have a point. I’ll try to be more open to accepting help from you.”
“And I’ll be more accepting that I don’t have the solution to every problem you have.” He scowled. “Much as it pains me to admit.” He grinned sheepishly. “Are we still fighting?”
“No. I appreciate you listening to what I have to say.”
“So can I kiss you now?”
“Yes.” Christine laughed as Erik crossed the distance between them and let his lips claim hers with a skill that left her breathless.
He brushed the hair back from her face and looked at her ardently. “I love you.”
Warmth bloomed in her chest as her heart expanded at his declaration. She leaned into his hand on her cheek. “I love you, too.” Her lower lip jutted slightly as she considered her declaration. “Is it a bad sign I first said it during an argument?”
“Meh, it’s a good story.”
Dr. Vanessa Carmichael was older than Erik expected with silver hair growing around her temples. Her skin was dark and smooth, and her brown eyes were perceptive. He guessed she was in her upper fifties. Her practice on the Upper East Side was discreet but modern. The floors were styled wood-grain linoleum in gray. Posters on the wall featured illustrations of generic faces peeled back on one side to show muscle and bone layers. He’d tried to get Reza to bring Dr. Carmichael to his apartment, but she had equipment that couldn’t make the journey to adequately examine him as a new patient .
“It is a pleasure to meet you, Erik.”
“Thank you for agreeing to see me on such short notice, Dr. Carmichael.” He looked around. The office was quiet except for the two of them and Garret. “And thank you for agreeing to meet privately. As Mr. Khan may have explained, I have a greater need than most for privacy.”
“I understand. Facial differences are often the most isolating with regard to society. Many of my patients experience low self-esteem, anxiety, and even PTSD-type symptoms.”
“Why did you go into this field of work?”
“There should be some sob story, right? A beloved relative who needed the services of someone like me. Nothing like that.” She waved off the idea. “My father operated on children born with cleft palates. I was fascinated by his ability to provide these children with a better quality of life. When I went to medical school, I fully intended to follow in his footsteps, but I became fascinated with the work of osseointegrated prosthetics.”
“Osseointegrated?”
“A titanium screw is placed in the base of the bone so the prosthetic is less likely to come off. The materials we work with are biologically inert, making them more comfortable to wear over a long period. Not only does this technology help patients with facial abnormalities, but it can also assist soldiers wounded in combat with integrated prosthetics for their extremities—legs, for example.”
Erik nodded and watched as she brought out a book of photographs demonstrating patients she had previously helped. Most notable were those patients, like him, who didn’t have a nose. After the prosthetic was attached, it was so seamless. He couldn’t tell where the prosthetic was connected and where the skin began.
“Erik, would it be all right if I examine your face now?” Dr. Carmichael asked.
It flew in the face of thirteen years of instinct to remove his mask so quickly in front of a stranger, but Erik did as she asked. Dr. Carmichael’s expression was neutral as she examined him. Her gloved fingers lightly touched the skin on the scarred side of his face, where the sensation was greatly diminished.
“Significant scarring by the orbital cavity, exposed nasal cavity. You no longer have an eyebrow…very fortunate the ear was not damaged.”
“Fortunate was never a thought,” Erik said coldly.
“Erik, let’s make something perfectly clear. In no way was I diminishing your pain, which I can see has been great. When I look at you, it’s as your medical provider. No more sass. Do you understand, young man?”
Erik felt chastened. He was so used to being afraid of strangers that his defenses were on high alert.
“It’s hard for me to be around others. I apologize for being rude.”
“No apology necessary. If my skin were that thin, I would’ve quit when a patient threw a full bedpan at me during my first year of residency.” She smiled at Erik, and her initial physical examination was complete.
“Do you think you’ll be able to help me?”
“I do, but I want to be upfront with you. What we can do for you includes a prosthetic for your nose, but I’m more concerned about the scar tissue. For that, we can use micropigmentation, a kind of tattoo. It’ll help break up some of the scars and create definition—create an eyebrow, define your eyelids. It will take several sessions, and the effect will be subtle at first. It won’t be pleasant. And you’ll always have some scarring. I’m not a miracle worker, but I hope to give you back something of your original appearance. ”
“My scars will still be noticeable.” He’d suspected she would say that.
“It’ll be your choice if this is better than where you are now. My recommendation? Let me make a prosthetic nose that can be affixed with adhesive. If you’re satisfied with its appearance, we can schedule you for the surgery to affix the screw to your face so that the prosthetic is significantly less likely to come off.”
“How long is the recovery from the surgery?”
“That depends on the health of the person involved. Given your condition is unrelated to an underlying health concern, I’d say two to three weeks, but only one to three days in the hospital.”
Erik nodded, his mind full of the information she was sharing.
“Better than where you are now.”
“Always have some scarring.”
“I’m also going to send you the email addresses of two of my current patients. They can share their experiences with you. It’s important you do as much research as possible.”
“If I wanted to move forward, how long till you can create the first” —he choked on the word—“nose?”
“I can complete it in four weeks after we do a scan. I work with a team that used to work with Hollywood productions, creating facial prosthetics for science fiction and horror films.” A ghost of a smile appeared on her face. “We can do the scan now if you like.”
“How appropriate,” Erik said drolly. “Let’s do the scan.”