Phoenix’s Fire (The Ruins Of Men #2)

Chapter 90

Ninety

Meri

T he night was getting late. My feet were killing me and my back ached from all the standing, walking, and bending. Naomi had been right when she said this would be hard. Even being "behind a desk" as they'd said, I'd still done a lot more than I'd expected.

Around midnight, the wounded had begun to arrive. Maybe a little before? I'd been able to help, though. Carts pulled by horses had carried so many people. Others had hauled them from outside into the main room here. They called it the emergency room, and now I understood what that meant.

Dozens of doctors treated these people. Men, women, tailed and not. They all did different things, but when I called out a problem, someone was always able to handle it. Internal bleeding, punctures, broken bones, missing limbs, and more.

Over the hours, I'd learned who did what. Naomi was here and helping, but she was only handling the cuts and broken bones. She'd smiled at me a few times, making me think I was doing this right, and then had come over to confirm it.

But what had felt the best was holding the hands of men and women in pain. While the doctors were busy, others had to wait. If they weren't critical, they suffered until it was finally their turn. I'd sat with many of them, doing my best to offer comfort.

A few, I'd bandaged. Superficial things were easy to treat, and the nurses assured me it was fine - once Brielle confirmed I knew how. After that, I'd been shown the medicine room, taught how to use the numbing agent, and told to bandage anyone who had to wait. They'd cut it off later when it was their turn.

But finally, the emergency room was empty. Those who were well enough to leave had gone. I dropped down in the chair I was supposed to be using and leaned back. Everything ached. This hadn't been like healing in the compound. Then again, I hadn't been carrying a baby in front of me back then .

And unlike the Moles - I was starting to prefer that term for them - Dragons didn't give up. When someone died, a nurse or doctor pounded on their chest. They breathed into the mouth. I didn't know how to do that, but I wanted to learn, because Ayla had been right. I was good at this.

She was cruel. I'd never realized it back then, but Ayla had always been a killer. When Gideon had been shot, she'd intended to make sure he'd died, but I'd said no. I'd been too weak to use what little freedom we had to give the men what they deserved.

Instead, I'd learned to care. She could hurt people, but I could soothe. I could fix them. I knew how to do this, and I liked it. When the patients relaxed because of my help, it felt good. For my entire life, I'd been made to feel useless, but here I was doing something!

Once, I'd been asked to sew a minor cut. One of the doctors, a large black, tailed man, had complimented my stitches! So leaning my head back, I let my eyes close and tried to ease the tension in my body that simply would not stop.

"Meri?" The sound of Brielle's voice made me jerk up.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, how are you feeling?" she asked.

"Like I'm useful," I said, letting my happiness show. "Lessa said I should figure out which things make me happy and when I'm doing something because the praise makes me happy, and that's not easy. But this? I like this, Brielle. I feel like I'm..."

"Capable," she finished for me, nodding to show she understood. "Well, just to keep you informed, it sounds like the battle didn't go as well as they hoped. We took more losses than last time, and they're still trying to figure out who's unaccounted for."

"Ayla?" I asked.

"She's okay," Brielle assured me. "Jeera said she's taking care of Zasen and Rymar."

But there was something serious in her eyes. "What happened?" I asked.

"Not everyone made it back," she said again. "Meri, I knew many of them. A lot of us did. It seems the Moles had new weapons."

I sat up in surprise. "No!"

"Have you ever heard of grenades?" she asked.

The air slipped from my lungs. "Gideon said we can't use them because they kill too much. They destroy the meat." I grimaced. "The Dragons, he meant."

"Yeah," she agreed. "That's why this was so bad." Then she moved to rest her rump against my desk. "Meri, there's a lot of people who are going to need help. Bandage changes, stitches removed, and things like that. I told the doctors you might be willing to do that."

"Yes!" I hurried to agree. "I know I'm not a nurse, but I can change bandages well, and then you all can worry about the real problems."

Which made her smile at me proudly. "Good." Then she bobbed her head a few times. "And I'm sorry I doubted you. I'm just worried, Meri. I can't imagine all you've been through, and that makes me want to shelter you too much. I should know better, after meeting Ayla, but I just want to keep both of you safe. Can you forgive me?"

"It's okay," I promised. "I understand. I tell Ayla to stop being silly all the time. She doesn't listen either, but we still have to try, right?"

Brielle chuckled. "Yes, we do. Seems you Mole girls are made of tough stuff. Also, you should start thinking about what you'll want for your sign. I'm pretty sure you can become a citizen now. I think there are enough people willing to agree that it won't be a problem at all."

"Like Ayla's the Phoenix?" I asked.

"Mhm," she agreed.

"I'll think about it," I promised. "Maybe a flower?"

"A lot of flowers are taken," she warned.

"Is there a way to know?"

"I can get a list of the taken signs," she said. "Well, in a few days. Maybe next week? It's not a rush, and you have plenty of time to decide. Right now, I need some food and tea. Something to keep me awake, because families will start showing up once the sun comes up. Some earlier." But she tilted her head. "Want something?"

I made a face. "No food. I'm still too excited. Maybe some tea?"

"Yep," Brielle said as she stood again. "And kick your feet up. It helps with the soreness."

So I did. That my back and feet hurt made sense. I was carrying this thing in front of me, and it wasn't light. I'd been going for hours now, helping, bending, walking, and sometimes running. What surprised me was that my hands were also sore from wrapping the bandages.

But I'd helped. I'd done well enough that I'd been complimented. Okay, I liked to be told I was good, but this was different. This was what Lessa had been trying to explain: that some things were a reward of their own. That doing what I wanted - not just what I was told - could make me happy in a way I hadn't expected.

And I'd pushed for this. Gideon's wife would’ve shut up and accepted it when Brielle had said I shouldn't help here. The old me would've gone to the daycare, because that had been expected. I would've smiled, hated it, and hoped it would get me praise.

But praise was stupid. It was a leash. For my entire life, it had been used to manipulate me. I'd never felt like I fit in down there, but no one did. We weren't supposed to "fit." We were supposed to make ourselves righteous. We were supposed to resist sins and temptations. In the compound, everything had been about misery and suffering as penance.

Up here, it was about finding yourself, and I'd just learned I was a good healer. I wasn't worse than Ayla or dumber than Callah. I was different, and that was actually allowed! People liked me because I was different. I liked me now.

That was the biggest change of all. I didn't really know myself, but I actually liked the bits I was finding. I didn't want to have things told to me. I wanted to try them and make my own opinion. Like clothes! I loved the colors and fabrics. Healing let me show my gentleness, and I was not a hard or cruel woman.

Sometimes I wished I was. That seemed stronger in a way, but it wasn't the only way. Helping people in pain took strength too. Saying no took the most strength, though. Or yes, sometimes. Pushing for what I wanted, standing up and refusing to back down? That felt so good, and I would no longer be punished for it!

I'd managed to get my legs onto the desk. Brielle was right, that did help, but the sound of the exterior door being yanked open made me pull them back down. The man who rushed inside was a color I knew well. Yellow, with an entire rainbow of others scattered across him, he was the brightest thing I'd ever seen. That was Rymar.

And he was carrying another.

"I need a doctor!" he bellowed.

"This way!" I said, standing quickly and leading him to an open room. "We have a bed here. What's - "

"Meri?" Ayla gasped as she, Zasen, and her dog hurried in after him. "Kanik has a gut wound. Possible intestines affected. It was metal, and there was mud, dirt, and leaves in it."

I didn't stop until we reached a bed. Moving quickly, I lowered the metal arms on the side, and Rymar set down their brown friend. Kanik, Ayla said his name was. Thankfully, he groaned, proving he was alive.

"Is he stable?" I asked, mentally running through all the doctors I'd met tonight.

Ayla nodded. "I stopped the bleeding." But she looked up meeting my eyes.

She was scared.

"Brielle will be back in a minute," I said. "I'm going to get the right doctor."

And I hurried out a door at the back. Not caring about what hurt, I kept going, weaving between beds and poles, and all the things that needed to be cleaned. I knew where he was. I knew the man they said could repair organs. If Kanik had a gut wound, that would be serious, and Ayla was scared.

I. Could. Help.

So I rushed into the lounge where the doctors were all getting a chance to rest. "I need Doctor Python!"

The man grunted, drawing my eye to the far side. "What do we have?"

"Kanik was wounded in the gut. Ayla removed metal, but she said it's been contaminated with dirt and debris."

Naomi jumped to her feet. "Kanik?" Her head whipped over to the other doctor. "The Dragonfly. I was told he'd died!"

"What?" I gasped. "No, he's here!"

So the large black dragon pushed his way forward, giving orders as he moved. "I need an operating room. Someone get me antibiotics. Naomi, find out that boy's blood type. If they thought he was dead, then this is serious." But he paused as he reached me. "Is he dead? "

"He's alive enough to groan," I promised. "And Ayla helped him."

"The Phoenix," Naomi clarified.

"Good work," the Python told me as he stormed out.

"Room sixteen!" I called after him. But Naomi's words stuck with me. "They thought he was dead?" I looked back at her.

She nodded. "Jeera said he didn't make it back." Then her mouth dropped open. "He was out there in the woods this whole time."

"Get the best nurses," I told her. "Ayla's worried."

"Fuck," Naomi grumbled, pushing to her feet.

She went one way. I went another. They needed an operating room, and I'd learned who did that. Reaching down, I clasped my belly, hating that I moved so slowly now. My hips felt like they didn't work right. This baby was in my way!

When I reached the nurses lounge, I stopped to lean against the door frame. "Python needs an operating room. We have one more. Gut wound. He wants antibiotics and blood. Griffin is finding his type." I didn't know what that meant, but it was one of the many things I intended to learn.

"On it!" a man called.

"I'll get drugs."

"Anesthesia!" another yelled, and they were all moving.

I managed to duck out of the way as the nurses took off. They knew what to do. They were so incredibly competent. Lives had been saved tonight, and now it was for someone I knew. Sorta knew.

No, someone my friend cared about. That was why this mattered so much, and I was helping. I might not be able to save him, but I would be able to say we'd done every single thing possible.

Because that was the Dragon way. That was why I had to be here. This, a world I never would've been able to imagine before, might be scary and wild, but deep in my bones, I knew it was exactly where I belonged.