Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
brIAR
“H ow did we miss this?” Gabriel asked once again as he paced in front of me. He would move his hands from his hips to run through his hair and then repeat the process. It was almost a constant for me, the way he would move. From one side of the room to the other, trying to get a hold of what exactly had happened.
Yet I knew there were no answers for what had happened.
Because the person we had trusted with our daughter had taken her.
“Do you think she’s the one who sent fan mail before?” I asked. I hadn’t even realized I was speaking until my voice echoed through the hotel room.
Brooks, Lark, and Rory turned toward me, eyes wide.
“What mail?” Brooks asked, the gravel in his voice sounding as if he had screamed for hours on end. Maybe he had, and I just hadn’t heard it.
After Brooks and Jeff had run into the room, I had nearly blacked out for a good ten minutes. Maybe longer. I hadn’t been able to hear anything other than the sound of Gabriel’s heartbeat beneath my ear. He had steadied me until I knew I had to be the one with the backbone of steel. Gabriel had found his own, and I needed to stand tall near him. If I wasn’t strong, I would break. And I had already been on the verge of breaking before. When we had been fighting over wanting the same thing.
How idiotic our fight had been. If we had just sat down and listened to each other weeks ago, we wouldn’t have been at that. And we wouldn’t have left our daughter with someone we thought we could trust.
“There were letters. Weird ones about how I wasn’t good enough. How they wanted to take my place with Maisie and Gabriel.”
The man that I loved turned to me, his pale face going ashen.
“Let’s see if Max or Jeff still have everything. They collect it all just in case—” He swallowed hard, before running his hands over his face. “Just in case something like this happens. But I didn’t think anything like this would ever happen.”
I stood up and moved toward him, hands outstretched. He immediately pulled me into his arms, crushing me against him. “We have to find her. Why can’t we be out there looking for her?”
“Ma’am,” the officer said from the doorway. “It’s best if you all stay here. The media have already caught wind of this, and they’ve circled the building. We have everyone out there searching for your daughter. Is there anything else you can tell us about this Hilarie Sawyer?”
“You have all the information we have from the background checks. They were thorough. She has a degree in child education and references.”
“Not only did my brother’s security team go through her, but we also had an additional agency do it. Just to make sure we didn’t miss anything. How the hell did this slip through the cracks?”
I clung to Gabriel as he did the same to me, and our friends and family stood by, feeling just as helpless as we did.
The detective nodded. “If she doesn’t have this sort of experience or pattern in her past, something might have triggered it. We won’t know until we find her.”
“And you’re going to find her,” I warned, my voice so steady it should have worried me. And though I had no action in front of me that I could attain, time passing through my fingertips, I couldn’t break down again.
I needed to be here.
“Let’s go through everything again,” another officer said, and while frustration slammed into me, I answered all of their questions.
Yes, Hilarie stayed on whatever property we were at.
Yes, she had days off.
Yes, she had her own home.
Yes, we left her alone with our daughter.
No, we had no idea she would do this.
No, we hadn’t met Hilarie’s family.
Yes, we had as many background checks as possible for her.
No, it hadn’t been enough.
“Okay, we’ll be here if you think of anything else,” the officer said, but another one stood at the door, and I wasn’t sure if they were keeping people out, or keeping us in.
Because I knew every single person in this room wanted to run out and search through the streets of LA for my daughter.
“He was right about the media out there,” Rory whispered as she looked through a tiny crack in the drapes.
“Stay away from the windows,” Brooks barked.
Rory just raised an eyebrow at him.
“I’m the only one here that the world doesn’t know. And they didn’t see my eye as I looked through the window.”
“You can’t know that,” Brooks warned.
Rory held up both hands before moving forward. She put her hand on his arm, and he stiffened.
“They’re going to find her. I’m not going to take any other answer as an option.”
Brooks just glared at Rory, and I wanted to believe her. With every ounce in me, I needed to believe her. But every single scenario running through my mind didn’t have a happy ending. And I wanted to throw up.
“I’m so damn sorry. This is all my fault.”
I looked up at Gabriel and shook my head. “I don’t blame you. You did everything you could to keep her safe. I blame Hilarie. I blame whatever weird cult-like fanatical thing some fans fall into. You’ve never once gone out on stage and demand people adore you. And you were always careful with the fans that got too close. I know that. I saw that. You and Mal were the same. So I can’t blame you. Because if I blame you, then everything inside me would break. And I can’t do that.”
“We’ll give you some privacy,” Lark whispered as she pulled the others into the adjoining living room.
Gabriel held me, as we stood there swaying back and forth. “I’m sorry for yelling. I’m sorry for being such an asshole for the past what, year?”
“I’m sorry for not speaking my mind when I should have. We were both so scared that we put our own barriers in the way. It’s just so stupid.”
“We’re going to find her. And then we’re going to put tracking on all of us.”
I wanted to laugh at that, but I realized that Gabriel wasn’t joking. “I think that might be illegal,” I whispered.
“Maybe not. We’ll find a way. And I’m never letting you or Maisie out of my sight again.”
“Same. Because Hilarie wants you. She wants Maisie, but she wants you .”
“You think I don’t know that? I’m so damn scared about what’s going to happen to you or Maisie if she doesn’t get me. Because she was ready to throw you away. What if she hurts you?”
“She’d have to get through all of the Wilders and Ashfords first. And she would have to survive me killing her.”
“You probably shouldn’t threaten murder when cops are listening.”
“I really don’t care right now. She has my baby.”
And so we stood there, before we paced, and Rory forced us to eat something. I wanted to scream and shout and throw the food, but that would be ridiculous. Maisie needed us to be strong.
And when my breasts fell heavy, tears finally slid down my cheeks because I needed to pump.
The others gave me privacy, but it was Gabriel who held my hand, and I pumped so my daughter would have food when we found her.
“She took the diaper bag, and a couple of bottles, but is it enough? I want my baby to be okay.”
“We’re going to find Maisie. And then we’re going to find a home that we can keep her safe in that’s just ours. And we’re going to be a family.”
I stared up at him, not knowing what to feel.
“Gabriel,” I began.
“No. I’m tired of pushing you away because I’m scared. We’ve always been a family, you and me. And not just because of Mal. And I was too blind to see it for too long. So we’re going to find our child, and we’re going to make sure Hilarie’s in jail for a long fucking time. And we’re never going to let this happen again. Because we’re going to find a way to be steady. To cement what we have. Because I’m never letting you go again.”
“I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you so fucking much. I’m sorry. So sorry for everything.”
“We need to find Maisie,” I whispered.
Another hour passed, and then a second. I had to pump one more time, and I felt like we were losing hope. Someone had turned on the news, and people were scrambling to figure out what had happened to our daughter. But there were no answers.
It wasn’t as if I could go door to door.
When Rory stood in the doorway, I looked up at her.
“What is it?”
“I know you don’t use social media often anymore, but you should see this.”
I stood up quickly, Gabriel behind me.
“What is it?”
Rory handed the phone to me and pointed at one of the trending stories. “Both sets of your fans are searching. They’re pleading for Hilarie to give Maisie back. The people that love you, that love your work, who loved Mal, are doing all that they can to make sure that Maisie gets back to you. I know that there aren’t any right answers now, and everything that I say is just going to hurt. But people out there love you. Just like people in here do. And we’re going to find her.”
Rory was crying then, and I held her phone in my hand, clutching it like a lifeline. There were so many posts, so many pleads. There might’ve been hate in some of the comments, but I didn’t see them. Only love, and worry. Because they wanted our happy ending.
And every thread of my soul desperately needed it.
When one of the officers walked back into the room, his face slightly ruddy, I stood up, Gabriel with me.
“Did you find her?” Gabriel asked, his voice a rasp.
“We did.”
My knees nearly gave out, and Gabriel held me steady. “Is she okay? Where is she? I need to see my baby.”
“She’s safe. The paramedics are with her, and we have Hilarie Sawyer in custody. We’ll go through it all in detail, but let’s get you there. It’s going to be a circus with the media soon, but we’re going to get you to your child.”
Everything moved in a blur at that moment, and I wasn’t sure exactly how I made it into the car, or how quickly we drove to the motel where Hilarie had stashed our daughter.
I was glad that they had already dragged her away. Because I wasn’t sure what I would have done if I saw her. I was afraid I would own up to the promise I had made to Gabriel, and then Maisie’s mother would be a murderer.
The media and fans hadn’t shown up yet, but they would be there soon. I knew that we would have to move to another location, but for now, I just needed to see Maisie. We leaped out of the car as soon as it stopped with our group behind us.
And as Maisie’s cries hit my ears, my heart sped up. I ran as quickly as I could. Gabriel beat me, his long legs taking wide strides. And then Maisie was in his arms, and I flung myself into both of them, tears streaming down my cheeks.
“Baby Girl. Baby Girl.”
“We’re going to have her checked out at the hospital, but your baby girl’s just fine. Fed and bathed and changed. I know that this isn’t going to give you any sense of relief, but she was taken care of.”
But not by me. Maisie hadn’t been taken care of by me. And as Gabriel held onto me, Maisie between us, I just looked up into the eyes of the man that I loved and let myself feel for the first time since Maisie had been taken.
“I love you.”
“I love you too. We’re going to make this work. And I’m never letting you go.”
And then he kissed me, and Maisie nuzzled between us.
We were a family, the three of us.
Because Mal had loved Gabriel for a reason, and I loved him. I loved the man holding me with every thread of my being that I had tried to ignore for so long.
And after we went to the hospital and found ourselves on the private jet that Lark shared with another artist, we made our way home to the Wilders. There were interviews to be made and police reports to be sifted through. I knew the bureaucracy of the trauma that had nearly broken us would need to occur.
But for now, Maisie smiled up at us from her carrier, and I held Gabriel’s hand.
I had loved Gabriel Wilder for far longer than I had cared to admit.
I had loved the friend, the rockstar, the broken man. The father.
I loved every piece of him, even though I hadn’t let myself believe.
And as we headed back toward the Wilders, with my family on another plane to meet us there, I knew that this was only a new beginning. There would be no going back.
I had to hope that if we had been given a chance, Mal would have approved of the two of us. In a hope of hopes, I knew it was true. Because Mal loved both of us. And if he had been thinking clearly, he would have calmed down, and we would have had that time to breathe.
But time had taken him from us far too soon. And had nearly done the same to Maisie.
And I was tired of making mistakes because I was scared.
So I would fight for Gabriel. I would fight for me.
I would fight for us.
Because we were a family.
The Wilders, the Ashfords, the band. All of us. We were never alone, even though sometimes we had lost our way.
I had my Wilder. Both of them. And I would never let go again.