Pieces of Us

One Year Before

Lottie

The treatment was getting so hard. Long days spent getting chemo pumped into me. Days after, feeling sick, exhausted and beaten. Sara was there every step of the way. When I moved back to my mum’s, she helped me. My mum was trying to be better, and our relationship had improved. She even let my dad visit occasionally, although it was always strained.

But Sundays became mine and Sara’s special time together. We would watch films, play board games and, if I was well enough, go for walks.

My favourite place was the lake. Always the lake. There were so many times when I tried to tell Sara the things that I had done. I knew I didn’t have much time left. The doctors started talking about ‘making me comfortable’ and ‘palliative care’. After so long fighting this thing, I knew I was facing months, maybe less.

Death was inevitable.

I had to make my peace. Even though it was much harder to write stuff down, or to even look at my Jars of Joy again, I had to believe that I could right my wrongs.

I loved Sara too much not to.