Chapter Three
Harley
It’s been a tough week, which doesn’t make much sense. Doctor Singleton has been back, and that ought to have made things easier. Except it hasn’t. Mostly because he’s been so contrary. Ordinarily, he’s just a terrible fuss-pot, clucking around if a patient is late, or if they’re early, or if anything is out of place. This week, though, he’s been worse than ever, and I’m just relieved to have made it to Friday again. One more day, and I can have some time to myself…
That said, I’ll probably spend most of it daydreaming about Pierce. That’s what I’ve done since Sunday, using most of my waking hours just thinking about what happened down by the creek. My thoughts haven’t revolved so much around his father and their phone call, but around his date with that girl… Kenna, I think he said her name was. Even if it wasn’t, their date didn’t seem to go very well. Pierce didn’t mention seeing her again, anyway, and although I’m trying not to be triumphant about that, it’s hard not to rejoice.
It’s just as hard not to remember how it felt when he brushed that hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear. It would have been so easy to lean up and kiss him… if only I had the courage. Except I don’t. I couldn’t face the rejection.
Of course, when he rolled me onto my back, the two of us in fits of laughter, I longed for him to kneel above me… to bend his head and cover my lips with his. He didn’t, though. Why would he? He doesn’t see me that way, and although it was lovely to see him smile and hear him laugh, and know he was relaxed in my company… I still wanted more.
So much more.
Lying there, watching him sketch, until it was almost too dark to see, and listening to him talk about his hopes and dreams, I couldn’t get away from my own secret desires… the ones that I’ve harbored for the last few years. They all revolved around Pierce, and even though he barely knows I exist outside of the friend zone, I can’t help hoping that one day, he’ll wake up and see me for who I really am…
The woman who loves him more than anyone else ever could.
“Don’t do that, Christopher.”
I glance up as Mrs. Leyton comes out of Doctor Dodds’s office. She’s accompanied by her young son, who ought to be in school. Except the appointment was for him, so I guess he’s not feeling well. That said, he looks perfectly okay to me, and as she walks past my desk, he wanders over and kicks one of the chairs.
“Christopher… please!” She sounds exasperated, and looks as though she’s about to cry. I want to ask if she’s okay, but at that moment, Doctor Dodds comes out of his office and goes to her, whispering something. She nods her head and says, “I’ll try,” before she takes her son by the hand and leaves.
The doctor comes back, standing opposite me, and shakes his head. “If Mrs. Leyton doesn’t call to make an appointment in the next week or so, can you let me know?”
“Sure. But she could have booked it now, couldn’t she? If it’s a follow-up?”
“It’s not, and she needed to get home. There’s nothing wrong with her son. It’s her I’m worried about.”
“I see.”
“She’s at her wit’s end,” he says. “Between her ex-husband and her son, I think she’s close to breaking. And you didn’t hear me say that.”
I smile up at him. “Say what?”
He grins. “Well done.” I assume he’s about to go back to his office, but instead he leans on my desk. “Can I ask another favor?”
“Sure.”
“I’ve got a couple of calls I need to make. Do you think you could pick me up a turkey club sandwich from the deli?”
“Of course. Do you want me to go now?”
“Could you? I’ve got a one-thirty appointment, so I’ll need to eat as soon as I’ve made my calls.”
I get up, pulling my purse from the bottom drawer of my desk as he wanders back to his office. Doctor Shackleton went to lunch about ten minutes ago, complaining that his last appointment of the morning had over-run, so I don’t need to worry about him… which is something, and I head out the door.
It’s a warm day, and I walk along Main Street, stopping at the flower shop to admire the window display. It would be nice to have some fresh flowers on my desk, but Doctor Singleton objects to them. He made that clear to me when I suggested getting some not long after I started working for him and Doctor Dodds.
“That’s the last thing we need,” he said, rolling his eyes. “People with hay fever sneezing all over the place.”
He shook his head and stormed back to his office… and I considered myself as having been told. Flowers were a bad idea.
Even so, they look beautiful, and I stand for a moment, studying them, before I remember I’ve come out for a reason, and I turn and make my way along the street, getting to the deli in no time at all.
There are a few people waiting in line, and I join them, contemplating what to get for myself, wondering if I should go for a tuna melt, or a chicken salad. I’m hungry enough to eat both, but that would be greedy, and I weigh up which would be more filling, noticing a man who keeps turning around. He doesn’t seem to focus on anything in particular, and I wonder if he’s going to complain about how slow the service is, and is maybe looking for other customers to support him. I won’t be one of them, because I know why things are taking longer in here than they normally do. It’s because Diana Leyton isn’t here. This is where she works, and without her, they seem to be struggling.
The man gets to the front of the line, and doesn’t make any kind of protest, ordering a chicken caesar wrap, and taking a diet soda to go with it. He pays by card, and turns around, glancing at me before he exits the shop. There’s only one more person in front of me, and I kick myself for being so distracted that I still haven’t decided what I’m going to order, and after a few more seconds of indecision, I come down on the side of the tuna melt.
It doesn’t take long to prepare my order, and I pay in cash, waiting for my change, and then leave the shop, my stomach grumbling in anticipation of my delicious lunch.
“Hi there.”
I jump out of my skin and turn around, coming face to face with the man who was just inside the deli. He’s obviously waited out here, and I step back, putting some space between us.
“Hello,” I say, to be polite, although I’m pretty sure I don’t know him. He could be a patient, I suppose, although I don’t remember him, and I stare up into his light blue eyes, waiting for him to say something.
“Would you… Would you like to join me for coffee?” he asks, stammering over his request.
I wasn’t expecting that, and I feel myself blush.
“I can’t. Sorry. I’m on my way back to work with my boss’s lunch.” I hold up the bags containing our sandwiches, just to prove the point.
“Oh.” He nods his head. “What about after work? We could go for a drink together, if you like?”
There’s nothing wrong with the guy, and although I’ve never really gone for men with blond hair, he’s very easy on the eye, with an athletic physique, shown off to perfection in a well fitting suit. For a moment, I’m tempted to accept, but then I remember Pierce. I think about his dark, brooding eyes, and how they sparked to life when we laughed and joked together, and my head seems to shake of its own accord.
“Thanks,” I say. “But I’m not available.”
“Maybe another time,” he replies, and I give him a smile, unwilling to admit that my lack of availability isn’t limited to tonight. It’s a permanent thing as far as I’m concerned, even if it isn’t very realistic. I mean… just because I long to spend every spare moment of the day – and night – with Pierce doesn’t mean it’ll ever happen. And yet, it doesn’t feel right to accept an invitation from another man, knowing my head, my heart, and every other part of me will always belong to someone else.
I turn away, heading back down Main Street, and while I know I made the right choice, I can’t help wondering how many more guys I’m gonna turn down. Let’s face it, there have been a few…
More than a few, actually.
I’m just strolling past the ice cream parlor when my phone beeps and I pull it from my purse, flipping it over, surprised to see I’ve got a message from Pierce. It’s unusual for him to contact me during the working day, and I stop walking and open it up, smiling to myself when I read…
— Hi. Sorry to bother you. Just wondered if you feel like having a drink with me tonight? We could meet at Dawson’s after work, if you’re free? P
I smile to myself, relieved I didn’t accept that guy’s offer now, as I type out my reply.
— I’d love to… although it’s called MD’s now. I can be there sometime between six and six-thirty. H x
I always add kisses to my messages… not that Pierce ever notices, and he replies almost immediately.
— I can’t get used to the name change. See you there. Have a good afternoon.
— You too. x
I’m floating on air as I wander back to the office. I don’t remember the last time I saw Pierce on a Friday night. We usually limit our meetings to Sundays, although when Ben was last here, I think we might have gone out together on the Friday evening, not long after he arrived… maybe.
Pierce didn’t mention a reason for wanting to meet up, though, so can it be he just wants to see me? Can it be I’m finally making my way out of the friend zone?
I walk into MD’s, relieved to find Pierce is already here, sitting in a booth by himself, with a glass of red wine in front of him. He looks up, tipping his dark head as he smiles and gives me a wave while I make my way over.
“What can I get you to drink?” he asks, getting to his feet, as I do my best not to make it too obvious that I can’t take my eyes off of him. He looks just as good as always, in a gray t-shirt, and stonewashed jeans, and I focus in on his perfect face for a second, wondering what it would feel like to caress his stubbled jaw.
“I’ve gotta drive home, so I guess it had better be a diet Coke.”
He nods, and makes his way over to the bar, while I remove my jacket and put it on the seat, settling into the booth and awaiting his return. He doesn’t take long, putting my drink in front of me and resuming his seat opposite, his smile making my insides melt, as usual, although it soon fades and I wonder if he invited me because he’s having problems… maybe with his father.
Before I can ask, he sits back in his seat, folding his arms across his chest, which makes his muscles bulge, his tattoos being shown off to their best effect, although I try hard not to stare as he sucks in a breath and says, “I’ve met someone,” crushing all my hopes and dreams with those three simple words.
I pick up my drink, taking a sip, and playing for time, before I say, “Oh?” because I can’t think what else to say. Ideally, I’d like to ask why he keeps doing this to me… why he keeps telling me about his latest conquests, when he must surely realize I don’t want to know.
How would he know that, though? The guy isn’t psychic, and you’ve never mentioned a word about how you feel.
It’s unreasonable to expect him to understand… even if I wish he would.
He nods his head, leaning forward again, so he can lower his voice and murmur, “I think she might be the one, Harley.”
That’s the last thing I wanted to hear.
“Really?” I say, surprised by how quiet my voice is.
“Yeah.”
“When did you meet her?” I ask, feeling intrigued. After all, he only had dinner with Kendra, or Keira, or whatever her name was, on Saturday evening, and he spent most of Sunday with me. He’s been working all week, so when would he have found time to meet ‘the one’?
“Earlier today,” he says, surprising me.
“Today? But you were working today.”
“I know. She came into the store to ask for directions.”
“So she’s not local?”
Please say she’s just passing through…
“She lives in Willmont Vale, but I think she said she only moved there a short while ago.”
Great… she’s a neighbor.
“I see… and having known this woman for just a few hours, you’ve decided she’s ‘the one’?” I say, trying my hardest to hide my disappointment.
He smiles, shaking his head. “I only said I thought she might be the one. I’m seeing her tomorrow, so hopefully I’ll find out for sure then.”
“You’re seeing her?”
“Yeah.”
“You’ve got a date?”
“I asked her to have dinner with me, and she agreed.”
Naturally. Who wouldn’t?
“What’s her name?” I ask.
“Monica. She works in sales, I think. She was looking for one of the companies in the industrial area, anyway.”
“And you were able to help her find her way?”
“Of course,” he says with a smile.
I nod my head and stare up into his chocolate-colored eyes, wondering how life can be so unfair. Before that thought gets the better of me, I excuse myself and head for the restrooms, which are at the back of the bar.
Once inside, I shut myself in the first stall and sit down on the closed toilet seat, trying to keep it together. It’s a struggle, knowing he’s out there, thinking about ‘the one’, wondering how their date will go tomorrow… what they’ll talk about, how she’ll look, whether they’ll go further than food and conversation, and while that thought is enough to make me cry, I know I can’t. Not here. Pierce will notice and probably start asking questions… questions I can’t answer. No. I need to get out of here and go home… and then I can cry my heart out.
I leave the stall, washing my hands and taking my time over drying them, before I head back out into the bar, trying to think up a reason to go home. It’ll have to be a good one. After all, I agreed to meet him, and I’ve only been here for twenty minutes.
I make my way over to the booth, sitting back down, and notice that Pierce’s glass is empty before I look up at him, worried that he might suggest a second drink, while I’m trying to think of excuses to get out of here.
“I was just thinking,” he says.
“You know that’s dangerous.”
He smiles. “Not in this instance. I was wondering if you wanna come back to the apartment with me? We could make something to eat and watch a movie, if you like?”
How can he ask me things like that… things that make me feel like I matter to him, when I know damn well I don’t?
Because I’m not ‘the one’.
“I can’t,” I say, gulping down my drink.
“Oh?”
I nod my head, putting down my glass. “It’s been a tough week. Between Mom and Dad being away and Doc Shackleton being even more difficult than usual…” I let my voice fade and he reaches across the table, like he expects me to take his hand. It would be so easy… but his is the hand of friendship, and I want the hand of love. Nothing less will do.
“That’s even more reason to come over,” he says. “I don’t mind doing the cooking, and you can put your feet up.”
I shake my head. “Thanks, but I’d rather just go home.”
He withdraws his hand. “If you’re sure?”
“I am.”
He gets to his feet, and I copy him, pulling on my jacket, struggling not to shudder when he helps me, his hand touching my shoulder.
“Are you gonna be okay?” he asks, like he gives a damn.
“I’ll be fine.”
He guides me outside and once we’re on the sidewalk, I say goodbye.
“Bye,” he says, giving me a smile, which melts my heart and brings tears to my eyes. I turn quickly and head straight down Main Street, my head bowed. My car is still parked at work, and I need to get back there. I need to get home… away from all this.
I never thought I’d say this, but I need to get away from Pierce… before he sees me break.
My Saturdays are usually spent alone, while Mom and Dad work at the store, so today is no different in many ways… except I know they’re not at the store. Pierce is. I’m doing my best not to think about him, though. It doesn’t seem to do me any good, and having cried myself to sleep last night, my emotions need a rest.
Laundry seems to be a good antidote, and keeps me busy for most of the day, after which I re-arrange my closet space and sit back on my bed, feeling pleased with myself, despite a niggling headache, just as my phone rings.
I pull it from my back pocket, smiling when I see Ben’s name on the screen as I connect the call.
“I thought you’d given up all forms of communication,” I say, instead of bothering with a ‘hello’, and he chuckles.
“Yeah… sorry about that. I’ve been meaning to call you all week, but I’ve been kinda busy.”
“Thanks. It’s nice to know how important I am in your life.”
“You know you mean more to me than almost anyone, sis… but, well… I’ve met someone,” he says, stammering over his words, and finally blurting them out.
“You too?”
“What do you mean by that? Have you met someone as well?”
“No.” I could kick myself for letting my guard down. “Pierce has. He seems to think she’s ‘the one’.”
“Oh? He hasn’t said anything to me.”
“That’s probably because they only met yesterday.”
“In which case, I doubt she really is ‘the one’. It’s probably just Pierce being Pierce. He goes into practically every date thinking he’s found the woman of his dreams, and then ten minutes in, he realizes the error of his ways.”
I’d like to believe that, but I saw the look on Pierce’s face and Ben didn’t. Still, I’m not going to say that. In fact, I think it’s better if I steer the conversation away from Pierce altogether.
“So, this someone you’ve met… is it serious?”
“I think so.”
“Serious enough for you to bring her home?” I ask.
He chuckles again. “I don’t know. We’ve only been dating for around three months, and I don’t wanna put her off.”
“Three months? That’s practically long-term for you.”
“I know.”
“What’s her name?”
“Louise.” He pauses for a moment and then surprises me by saying, “She’s so damn cute, Harley.”
I have to smile, wondering if my brother has ever shared a conversation like this with me before. I can’t recall one, and I take a breath before I say, “I’m really pleased for you.”
“Thanks,” he says. “But don’t tell Mom and Dad, will you?”
“Why not?”
“Because Mom won’t give me a moment’s peace once she knows. She’ll want us to come visit, and then she’ll start talking about weddings and grandchildren, and heaven knows what else… and although I’m not ruling out any of that, I don’t want Louise to feel like she’s being railroaded.”
Wow… I hadn’t expected him to say that, and I nod my head, even though he can’t see me. “I won’t say a word.”
“How’s everything going at home?” he asks, making it sound like he’s desperate to change the subject. And I let him.
“Everything’s fine.” That’s not strictly true, but I’m not in the mood for talking about the only thing that’s really troubling me. Pierce is Ben’s best friend, so it feels too personal to both of us… and far too painful for me.
“You’re coping okay without Mom and Dad?” he says, after our silence has stretched a little.
“Of course. I’ve just been rearranging my closet.”
“You really know how to live, don’t you?”
A lump forms in my throat, as I realize the truth behind his words… that while he’s met someone special, and Pierce is dating every female he comes across – except me, of course – and my parents are touring Europe, I’m stuck here by myself.
I daren’t say any of that, though, and before he can question me any further about my private life, I hear a muffled female voice in the background.
“Is that Louise?” I ask.
“Yeah. She’s just reminding me we need to leave in a minute. We’re meeting up with some friends for dinner.”
That sounds like a really nice way to spend an evening… a lot nicer than anything I’ve got planned, and I struggle with that lump in my throat as we say goodbye to each other.
That niggling headache has become something a lot more painful now, and rather than sit and wallow, I head for the bathroom, going to the cabinet, and letting out a groan when I check the box of Advil to find it’s empty.
“Damn,” I mutter under my breath.
I’d like to say I’ll brave my way through it, but the pain is getting worse by the second, and I know I’m better off going to the drugstore now, while I can still drive.
It doesn’t take me long to slip on some shoes and go downstairs, grab my purse and keys and head out the door. The drive into town only takes a few minutes, and I park right outside the drugstore, climbing out and turning away from the evening sunshine, letting out a gasp as I see Pierce and a beautiful brunette going into the Thai restaurant across the street.
He’s wearing jeans, a white button-down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to show off his tattoos, and has his leather jacket thrown over his shoulder. The woman, who I seem to remember was called Monica, is dressed in wide-legged black pants and a fitted white blouse, her dark hair hanging in loose curls around her shoulders… and while I hate to admit it, she looks lovely.
I turn away, my head pounding, tears welling in my eyes.
This is so unfair.
I’ve always known about Pierce’s dates. He usually tells me about them, either before or after they happen. But the thing is, I’ve never actually witnessed one in the flesh… until now.
My headache hasn’t been helped by that, and I trudge into the drugstore, asking for a pack of Advil and paying for it, before I leave again, my eyes naturally drawn to the Thai restaurant, where I see Pierce and Monica, sitting at a table by the window, smiling at each other, and talking avidly, like nothing else exists… certainly not me, anyway.
As the image before me blurs, I get back in my car and give myself a moment before I start the drive home.
Fortunately, it’s a road well traveled, and hardly any distance. Once there, I go inside and take some painkillers, wandering into the living room to sit down.
It hurt seeing Pierce like that. I won’t deny it. Witnessing the reality of him dating another woman is very different from hearing about it. It’s more real… and more painful. But I guess it was maybe the wake-up call I needed. After all, telling myself I’m not what he wants is one thing, but seeing that realization played out before me is something else.
And that means I’ve got a choice. I can either sit here and wallow in self pity… or I can stop dreaming about something that will never be, and start living my life.
My Monday morning has been mercifully quiet. In fact, it’s been unusually quiet. Mondays are often busy, but not today, and I’ve taken advantage of that, and tidied the reception area. That ought to please Doctor Singleton, as he’s always really picky about how clean the place is.
I spent yesterday cleaning, too… only at home, not at work. That was to keep myself from thinking about Pierce, because even though I decided wallowing was a lot less appealing than living, it’s not that easy to put plans into actions when he’s all I’ve thought about since boys even became a ‘thing’ for me.
By the end of the day, I was tired and in desperate need of some TLC, but without my parents, or Ben, or even Pierce to turn to, I ran myself a bath and luxuriated for an hour or more, resolving that I needed to make friends… do something… get out more… live a little.
“This looks nice,” Doctor Dodds says, coming out of his office and looking around.
“Thanks.”
“Were you bored?” He perches on the edge of my desk, giving me a smile.
“Something like that. It’s been really quiet today.”
He nods his head. “Does that mean you won’t mind if I ask you to pick up my lunch again?” he says, raising his eyebrows.
“Not at all. I was just thinking about going out myself,” I say, getting to my feet and grabbing my purse from the bottom drawer of my desk. “What do you feel like?”
“I’ve had an indulgent weekend, so I’m gonna be good and have a chicken salad on wholewheat, please.”
“Okay.” I’m not sure what I feel like, but I doubt it’ll be ‘good’, and I head out the door, making my way to the deli, my mind drifting between a BLT, and a grilled cheese with bacon, the thought of which is making my mouth water.
“Hey… Harley!”
I stop and turn at the sound of my name and see Kaiden Bowman coming straight toward me, a smile on his face.
“Hello,” I say as he steps up onto the sidewalk.
“I haven’t seen you around for ages.”
“No.” That’s perfectly true, although he and I have never been particular friends. He was in the same year at high school as Ben and Pierce, but even then, he kept his distance.
“How are you?” he asks.
“I’m fine, thanks.” I shield my eyes from the sun, surprised to find he’s gazing down at me, his blue eyes boring into mine. Now I can see him properly, I notice his dark blond hair looks like he just got out of bed, but that contrasts with his smart pants and open-necked shirt. Of course, he works at his father’s art gallery in Concord, which makes sense of his attire… but not of his presence here in Hart’s Creek at this time of day.
“Would you like to have a drink with me later?” he asks, shocking me to the extent that my arm falls to my side, and I’m forced to squint up at him.
“Me?” I say, making him smile.
“Yeah. You.”
I’m not sure what to say, and out of habit, I glance to my left, toward the antiques store, where I know Pierce will be working. Although he won’t just be working, will he? He’ll probably be thinking about Monica and their date on Saturday night. I don’t know how it went, but it’s possible he could have spent yesterday with her as well. He might even have stayed the night, and with that in mind, I turn back to Kaiden, knowing that, even if my head, my heart and all the rest of me will always belong to Pierce, there really is no hope.
I’ve vowed to start living…
And so, I nod my head.