Pining for You

Prologue

Dear Deciders of My Future,

My name is Bennie Bosley, and I’m writing to respectfully submit this Statement of Purpose for your consideration.

I’ll start by saying, I know people sometimes call Halloween “gay Christmas,” but I would argue that Christmas itself is way more gay.

In fact, I did, for my film and television studies elective junior year.

I presented the case that Christmas movies are jammed with stories about outsiders, just like the queer community.

Exhibit A: Rudolph, who hides the most fabulous part of himself in order to pass.

Or exhibit B: the Grinch, who is obviously genderfluid, reviled by society, and hello, lives in an actual cave !

I could go on, but the point is, holiday movies are all about misfits who find friendship and purpose, and in the end, get their Happily Ever After.

But the films that really let us shine and be ourselves, without allegory or coding? That canon is way too small.

Which brings me to the point of this paper: My purpose is to make holiday films full of out-and-proud queer people, characters who all deserve—and in my films, will always get—to have their Happily Ever After.

And also, to make sure that Happily Ever After is sealed with a Christmas kiss, because if I had my way, everyone who went around with the words Merry Christmas on their lips would get a huge smacker planted right on them, too.

That’s why my other purpose in life is to have my own first kiss at Christmas—so I can experience and accurately portray that feeling, because I believe in authenticity in art.

I’ve daydreamed every snow-glittering scenario: ice-skating, sled riding, tree trimming, cookie baking, carol singing, gift wrapping.

You name it. And even though I’ve waited and wished and tried to manifest, three years of high school holiday seasons have flown by without my movie moment.

I guess I have to make my peace on earth with the fact that I will have to wait until I escape my tiny Connecticut town after graduation to find my dream girl and have my Christmas first kiss.

Then again, there’s still technically one holiday left, and if I’ve learned anything from my film obsession, it’s that Fate can be as unpredictable as New England weather, and even the stories that seem the most formulaic can have twists you never saw coming.

Hang on. I think I lost the plot… But stay with me—I’ll try again.