Chapter 16
16
Brett
I clenched my jaw, feeling the tightness in my chest as I stared at the empty stable. The heaviness in my heart weighed me down like an anchor, tethering me to this place that had become a constant reminder of the life I no longer led. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was just a shadow of my former self, and it seemed like Sofia saw right through me.
“Is this what I've become?” I whispered, running calloused hands over the rough wood of the stable gate. “Just a faceless ranch hand?”
I thought back to the time when I first arrived at the Walters' ranch, filled with hope and looking for a fresh start after the injury that shattered my dreams. Sofia believed in me, encouraged me to rebuild my life, and for a while, it seemed like I was making progress.
But now, every day was a reminder of the gap that had grown between us, like the ever-widening canyon separating two once-mighty mountain ranges. Conversations were terse, smiles few and far between, and closeness a mere memory. I could feel her slipping away, and I didn't know how to bring her back.
“Hey, Brett,” Jake called out. “Boss wants us to fix up the fence by the north pasture.”
“Alright.” I forced a smile and nodded. But as I grabbed my tools and followed Jake toward the fence, my mind was still consumed by the emptiness inside.
As we worked, my hands moved mechanically, each strike of the hammer echoing the pounding in my chest. My thoughts swirled around Sofia, the ranch, and my place in this world. Did I truly belong here? Was I meant for something more or was this all life had to offer me now?
“Damn, Brett,” Jake commented, wiping the sweat from his brow. “You're really going at it today. Everything alright?”
“Fine,” I lied through gritted teeth, driving another nail into the fence with a force that seemed to scream my frustration.
“Okay, man. Just checking.” He raised his hands in surrender before turning back to his work.
It wasn't just the growing distance between Sofia and I that gnawed at my soul. It was the feeling of inadequacy, the knowledge that I was no longer the man I once was - the man who could chase my dreams and conquer any obstacle. I wanted to find a new purpose, a reason to keep pushing forward, but every day felt like another reminder that I was drifting further from what I once had.
God, what am I supposed to do?
The weight of the decision I now faced pressed down on my chest. I had two choices: stay at the ranch, where I'd been welcomed with open arms by Sofia's family and offered a stable place to work, or leave to search for that elusive spark - a new purpose that would ignite my passion once more.
Staying meant security; it meant having a roof over my head and food on the table. It also meant being near Sofia, the woman who still held my heart captive after all these years and her son Max. But the cons were impossible to ignore. My dreams of playing baseball had been shattered, and now, my connection with Sofia was strained, her walls higher than ever before. If I stayed, I feared I'd become a hollow shell of the man I once was, consumed by unrequited love and a life devoid of ambition.
I’ve tried hard to get Sofia to see that obstacles were better fought with people you trust by your side, but it doesn’t seem to have made a difference.
I didn’t want to leave, but staying here knowing that Sofia would never give me a real second chance - it was like being in hell daily.