15. Will
Chapter 15
Will
I breathe out the question, cutting her off. She thinks that was a mistake?
Fuck, my brain feels like it’s in slow motion. The word “mistake" isn't exactly what I’d use to describe what just happened, but now I’m not sure what to do. We’re friends, that’s what we’ve always been, right?
Callie shuts her eyes briefly almost like she’s trying to process her next words. I can’t tell if it’s out of regret or embarrassment, but the anguish on her face feels like a punch to the gut and my brain finally catches up—I can’t let this ruin her birthday.
“Callie,” I say calmly. “It’s okay. We’re friends—why don’t we head back down for cake?”
Callie shakes her head lightly. “Friends, right. I just, um?—”
“Hey, it’s okay,” I reply, placing my hands on her shoulders, hoping it softens her guilt from the blow of the rejection she’s giving me.
Is it a rejection, though? Yeah, we’ve flirted, but I haven’t exactly made my intentions clear either. Mostly because they haven’t been. But then she kissed me, and I think I really want to kiss her again.
Callie stills as she looks down at my hands resting on her shoulders and when they make their way up to my face I swear they pause at my mouth.
She doesn’t move, and I can’t bring myself to either. I’m tempted to pull her back in and kiss her for real this time and find out if the word mistake really does fit here.
My hands tighten on her shoulders lightly as I track the freckles on her beautiful face. She told me I’m allowed to touch her, right?
But then the sobering voice of her brother comes from the hall. “Callie?”
Callie jumps back. Ice water being thrown on us would have been less of a mood killer.
Callie glances at my shut door and calls back, “Coming,” before turning back to me. “I?—”
“Let’s just head down, okay?” I say softly, and she nods.
I hold out my hand to let her go first. The moment she walks out my door my whole body stalls. Fuck—I need a minute.
Callie kissed me. Callie fucking kissed me, and I just stood there. Why didn’t I kiss her back? It just took me by surprise, and I don’t know—I panicked.
But now, all I can really think about is kissing her. I like Callie. And based on the effort I put into this party for her…fuck, I think I like her a lot.
Suddenly, the words I heard Callie say to my sisters come screaming back to me.
I’ve been holding a bit of a grudge against baseball players for a while now. Bad ex, he kind of put a bad taste in my mouth for dating baseball players.
I didn’t think much when I overheard it, but now I have a million and one questions. Is that why the kiss was a mistake? Does that mean she doesn’t want to date any baseball players? Is it the reason she never spoke to anyone outside of Adam and Jett on the team? How bad was this ex exactly? Is he why she showed up at her brother’s in the first place? She’s talked about the guys in her past not respecting her boundaries.
Or was it the lifestyle? If this trade has taught me anything, it is that everything can abruptly change at any moment. Maybe if she knew I have the option to get a no-trade clause for my next contract…
I make my way down the stairs cursing this new revelation and find Callie sitting by my sisters, smiling as she takes the first bite of her cake. I did so much to make today happen. I don’t regret it, seeing Callie’s reactions made every doubt about setting this up go away. And yeah, that kiss might have been small, but it didn’t feel wrong.
Friends. Why did I say that? Fuck!
But I’ve given her no indication that I want anything more from her either so here we are—in the fucking friend zone.
My brain is still trying to process everything that’s just happened, and I know if I don’t pull my shit together my sisters will get suspicious. I refuse to let my fuck up interfere with her day.
I take a deep breath and take a seat next to Adam.
Be cool, it’s not like you kissed his sister…oh, wait.
“Hey.” Adam nudges my shoulder. “Thanks for today. She needed this.”
I take another look at Callie as she laughs at something my sisters said. “Yeah, I think she did.”
The drive back to Boston was nearly identical to the ride up here. Except the stolen glances back to Callie held more meaning. How do I take back my friends comment without sounding like a total ass? Do I even have a fighting chance with her “no baseball players” revelation?
Making our way up the elevator and to our floor, Adam pulls Callie into a hug. “Happy birthday, Cals.”
“Thank you.” She smiles. “Best one yet.”
Adam shrugs and grips my shoulder. “Eh, I can’t take the credit. Thanks for throwing this together, man.”
Stealing a quick glance to Callie, her smile falters for a moment before her eyes find mine and she plasters the smile back on. “Right, thank you. It was perfect.”
It was almost perfect.
“I’m happy you had a great time.” I shove my hands in my pockets and rock on my feet. Do I wait for her to walk to our apartments together? Do I ask her about the kiss? Fuck, now I even sound like her with all the questions.
Turning, I decide I should give her space. Maybe that’s what we need. Maybe it was just today that has our emotions all twisted…or mine at least.
“Will,” Callie says softly, as I reach for my doorknob. “Hey, um… I didn’t—I mean?—”
I watch as Callie shuts her eyes again as she looks for the words to say. This should be my moment to clear up my feelings. I should tell her that I think I like her more than just friends, but it’s her birthday. I shouldn’t force my feelings on her today. Maybe tomorrow.
“Callie, we’re good,” I say as normal as I can, because it’s true in theory. We are good, I just think we could be great. “I promise.”
Callie’s lips come together in a thin line for a moment as she nods. “Right, you’re right. Um…thank you. I mean, thank you for today. I know it seems like a small thing but today meant a lot to me. I’ve never had a day like today and I was worried about moving here—away from Wyla and being closer to my family. I don’t know. I just didn’t expect this friendship between us…” Callie trails off with a sigh then looks at the ground. “This is the first time I’ve actually felt like I belong somewhere, and I don’t want to ruin that.”
Is that what is really going on? She’s afraid she’s going to lose me?
Before I can respond, Callie steps around me and walks right into her unlocked apartment door.
Shit. Resting my head on my door, I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket.
Will’s Love Elves
Lucie
So, did she love her party?!
Reagan
Please tell us you’ve pulled your head out of your butt and realized you like her.
She said she loved it. Thank you for helping.
We are still just friends, so will you please change the fucking group chat name.
Reagan
You’re delusional if you think you two are friends.
Lucie
I think it’s romantic! It’s very “When Harry Met Sally” of him.
Lucie has changed the group name to: When Will Met Callie.
Will has left the group chat.
I look at Callie’s closed door one more time before stepping into my apartment. Shit, this is my fault for not figuring out sooner that what I felt was more than platonic, but what am I supposed to do now? How could I force my feelings on her when she’s scared of what a relationship could do to our friendship? I guess I’d rather have some of her than none of her.