Pixel Perfect Pack

One

Jess

“I can’t believe you fucked all three of us,” I yell, my eyes wide and watering from the bright lights. The game is still running on my screen, keyboard glowing purple in the darkness of my bedroom. I watch my avatar twitch on the ground, surrounded by a pool of blood. Next to me Quietek and Minxy didn’t fare any better, the obliterated animation likely still playing on their own PC’s.

But it’s fucking MourningStar that I focus on. His avatar is standing over us, whipping out ridiculous dance moves in celebration. A few seconds later and he’s hopping through the escape.

“You’re a fucking dick, Mourning,” Minxy snaps, trying his hardest to sound stern.

MourningStar’s laugh echoes through my headset, so deep and devilish. I swear I can feel it reverberating between my legs. My thighs squeeze together, trying to dull the flames threatening to lick at my skin.

It’s crazy, I’ve been gaming with these guys for years and still have no idea what they look like, or even their real names. Honestly, there’s been no need to ask. We get online almost everyday to play our favourite game, we talk and laugh for a few hours and then we say our goodbyes. It’s sad but my relationship with these strangers online is the most stable thing about my life.

I guess that doesn’t say much about my boyfriend, who, by looking at the time on my computer, is about forty minutes late in coming over.

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist,” MourningStar admits with another of those delectable chuckles.

“It’s supposed to be a team game, loser,” I reply, fighting against the smile on my lips.

“Um, correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure you’re the loser?” he states matter-of-factly with a twist of his usual cheeky humour.

Quietek clears his throat, his genteel Scottish accent appearing in my ear. “Aye well, that’s it for me boys and girls. I’ve got work shit I need to tend to.”

“Here I was thinking we were staying online until JJ’s male friend makes his appearance?” Minxy teases. They’re all too aware of how punctual my boyfriend is not.

I shuffle awkwardly in my seat. “I’m sure he has a good reason.”

The second the words leave my lips, my phone starts to buzz. I don’t have to look at the name on the screen to know it’s Jack. “ second guys.”

I rush to hit mute before I swipe up and put the phone to my ear, knocking my pink headphones to the side in the process. Before I can even say hello, Jack’s apologising.

“Hey babe, sorry I’m running late.”

“Did you run into traffic or…” it’s a stupid thing to say since I live in a tiny Scottish village in the middle of nowhere.

Jack’s like me; he’s lived in the same town his entire life and apart from travelling twenty minutes to work and back every weekday, he doesn’t venture far. I might not have committed to leaving completely but I had some sense when it came to small town living and moved three miles out of the centre as soon as I could. I liked being closer to the water, and I liked the silence my village offered.

Jack and I hadn’t known each other our entire lives. Well, I knew him. He didn’t pay much attention to me in high school as we ran in different groups. He was popular and sporty, one of the typical Scottish rugby boys that make it their entire personality. Me? I’d spent the majority of my high school years in the art room, avoiding social interaction to the best of my ability. Even back then the most social interaction I got was when I would get home and play The Sims. Bella Goth and I were tight back in the day.

“No, no,” Jack chuckles. “The lads invited me out for a couple pints and I didn’t want to be rude. I’m at The Cairn, I won’t be much longer.” I can hardly hear him over the background chatter and terrible music. The Cairn is one of three pubs in town, usually the first stop with its cheap pints and even cheaper shots.

“So you won’t make it over,” I grumble, knowing that if he’s a few pints deep already that there’s no way he’ll forgo a night on the town with the lads to spend an evening with me watching movies and eating junk food. I think about the order I placed at the one and only take-away within thirty miles. In about fifteen minutes there’ll be two fourteen-inch pizzas, a side of fries and a side of chicken wings appearing on my doorstep. It sounds like I’ll be hosting my very own competitive eating contest.

There’s a kerfuffle on the other end of the phone before he answers. “Aye, I’ll take a baby Guinness or two!” he pauses, laughing against the sound of music. “Yeah babe, I’ll be late but I’ll still make it. You’re not going to tell me I can’t spend at least a few hours with the boys, are ye?”

I don’t even have enough time to answer before he’s yelling across the line once again.

“Keep my side of the bed warm for me and I promise I’ll make it up to you when I get home.”

My eyes roll, and not in the way I’d been hoping they would this evening. Not that Jack has ever truly made my eyes roll or my toes curl or any of those other delicious things I feel I’m missing out on. “Don’t bother, Jack. I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good night out.”

“Don’t be like that babe,” he coos.

“Seriously, Jack. Don’t come over here when the pubs close.” I do not have the energy to clean piss out of my bedroom wardrobe for the second time this month. Jack’s a pain in the ass when he’s sober but he’s a thousand times worse when he’s drunk. I ask myself almost daily why I bother keeping him around and honestly, I’m yet to find a concrete answer. A large part of me thinks it’s because I’m frightened of being alone, but the sensible side of me knows our relationship isn’t viable in the long term. I guess breaking up with him just feels like something I’ll do in the long term but not right this second.

Jack clears his throat,“Fine, I’ll see you Sunday for lunch. My mum’s place, two in the afternoon, yeah?”

Fuck. I’d forgotten about Sunday lunch at Trudy’s place, they’d been on their yearly holiday to Benidorm the last three weeks so I hadn’t been put through my regular torture. Guess all I have to look forward to this weekend is dry beef and even dryer conversation.

I cast my eyes back to my computer, the Discord chat still open and the game running in the background. The muffled sound of monsters and gunshots plays over the title music and it’s like a warm hug. Familiar and comforting as always.

“Okay, see you then.” I hang up the phone and toss it to the side. Using my shoulder I shift my headphones back into place and settle back into my gaming chair with a huff.

“I’m back,” I mumble, readying my character for another match.

“Uhh, you never left,” Minxy replies, leaving me confused.

“You forgot to mute yourself, babe ,” MourningStar teases, his deep voice making that one mocking word sound like the filthiest thing I’ve ever heard.

I realise with embarrassment that not only did I not properly press the mute button but I also had the phone held up against my mic. Great.

“Let it go, guys,” Quietek adds, his highland accent curling around his few words and making it sound like poetry. “Do you want to play a few more games, JJ?”

My heart warms, I adore the three guys equally but it’s Quietek’s kind nature that always seems to catch me off guard.

“No it’s okay, I know you’ve got work to do and Minxy, isn’t it almost six?”

“Fuck, shit, balls!” Minxy scrambles over the headset and I can’t stop the laugh that leaves my lips. “I’ll catch you guys later or tomorrow or whatever, right now I have to go apologise to my nephew.”

“Catch you later Minx,” MourningStar replies casually. “And Quietek don’t forget you’re going to show me how to get into the cave in level thirty two tomorrow.”

“Catch you later, JJ, Mourning,” Minxy hops off first, his avatar turning grey.

“I’ll be back online at lunchtime, so I’ll catch you then,” Quietek replies. “Message me if you get bored, JJ. “

My lips turn up in a smile. “I will, thanks Tek.”

Within a few seconds, it’s just me and MourningStar left in the group chat. I know I can’t stay here and listen to him breathe for the next few hours so I clear my throat. “What are your plans for tonight? Any big dates lined up?”

He laughs, the sound rumbling in his chest. There’s a squeak in the background and I imagine him leaning back in his chair and throwing his arms back behind his head. “I might do a bonus stream later, a few subscribers want me to play some new horror game.”

“Don’t sound too excited.”

There’s a pause of a few seconds before he speaks again. “When are you going to start streaming? You’ve only been talking about it for the last year.”

The truth is I think about it all the time. I’d give anything to spend my days playing games and talking to people with the same interests as me. I just don’t know that I’m the right fit for streaming. I told Jack once that I wanted to give it a go and he basically told me that no one would pay money to watch me . Although he never said it directly, I know it’s because I’m a bigger girl. Not only that but I’m painfully shy.

“JJ?” MourningStar says in a sing-song voice, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry, um, yeah I’m not sure,” I reply, forcing myself to sound casual.

“Come on, you should try it. You’d be great. We need more girl gamers, especially ones like you.”

My brow crinkles. “What do you mean like me?”

There’s no hesitation in his tone when he answers my question. “Well, you’re a great fucking gamer for one. Hell, you know more about Death in Days than the three of us put together yet somehow you’re so open to taking advice on gameplay. You’re funny, smart, kind.”

My mouth forms a little circle as I try to take in his compliments. “Oh…”

I want to tell him my knowledge of the game is purely down to me making it my entire personality, probably because of my ASD. But I don’t. I just listen to him speak because it’s one of my favourite sounds.

“It’s just a game,” I mumble, my hands folded in my lap. I even have to train my eyes to stare at the calendar and posters on the wall behind my computer because somehow staring at Mourning’s cartoon avatar feels too personal.

“It’s a game you’re really fucking good at, Princess.”

The nickname only tightens the coil low in my stomach. He only says it when we’re alone on the server and sometimes I wonder if it’s a figment of my imagination. I don’t think I’d care even if it was, it’s intoxicating. I let myself daydream, wondering if his scent would be as addictive as his praise or the sweet words he whispers to me sometimes. The forbidden thought leaves my panties damp.

“Listen, we’ve been online together for a while, time is getting on,” he says, breaking the silence. Disappointment leaves a bitter taste on my tongue.

“Oh, yeah, well…”

“Why don’t you open up Discord on your phone and take me with you to the kitchen,” he suggests, leaving me wide-eyed.

“Why?”

“You haven’t eaten since lunch, let’s go cook something up.”

With a grin, I nod, forgetting he can’t see me. “I would but…”

“You ordered take-out?” he asks excitedly, clapping his hands together. “What are we having?”