Chapter Twenty-Seven Sienna
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Sienna
Two months.
Gavin and I have kept up the pretense of not being into each other for two long months, and let me tell you, it’s pure torture. But there’s also a sense of freedom to it, as weird as that sounds. Before, I would stress about Gavin and worry that he was out screwing around with other women. Always lamenting to myself Why not me?
Now I don’t have to worry about it. The only person that man is screwing around with is me, and oh my God, when we’re finally together during those late nights and stolen moments, he uses and abuses my body in the most thrilling ways possible. I didn’t think it could be like this. Sex. A relationship. Even though it’s a secret and no one really knows about us, that’s exactly what it is.
A relationship. The very best one I’ve ever been in.
Keeping our distance in public allows Gavin to fully concentrate on football and school. The two top priorities in his life, which I completely understand. I do. And truly, I’m able to prioritize things in my life as well. School, work, and myself, though not necessarily in that order. I’m even taking an extra course because I’ve pretty much stopped going to the parties and get-togethers at my brother’s house all the time. There’s no point anymore. I mean, yeah, I’ll go there and hang out with Ever, who’s now in a full-fledged relationship with Nico, and he’s occupying most of her time, which I totally get. But otherwise, I stay away from the house—oh, and my brother because I feel guilty over my secret. They all think I’ve been avoiding Gavin, but they’re wrong.
There’s no need for me to always hang around the team and wait for Gavin to pay attention to me anymore, and that’s where the freedom comes in. I’m liberated from my own self-defeating thoughts. I’ve never felt more sure of myself in my life, and it’s wild to contemplate.
I thought having a secret relationship with Gavin would annoy me. Devastate me. Make me feel like I’m not good enough for him, believing he’s not willing to share me— us —with everyone in his life. That’s not the case. He told me recently that once they’re deep in playoff season, he thinks we should reveal ourselves as a couple. Just hearing him say those words made me nervous, but he’s right that we have to come clean sometime. But does it make sense to do it during the playoffs? That’s when the stress ramps up for everyone, especially Gavin. Nico and Ever are out in the open now, and no one gives them too much grief, from what I can see. Oh, women still have something to say to Nico because he’s sickeningly attractive, but Ever is so confident that man is hers, she has nothing to worry about.
I don’t know what it’s going to be like if and when Gavin and I become public. He gets far more attention than Nico does. Or any of the other players on the team for that matter. Will people freak out or be supportive of us as a couple?
But I’m starting to think he’s getting sick of pretending too. When we are in public together, he gets a little grabbier when I’m close. Looks at me with this tender glow in his eyes, like I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him. I can tell Nico’s noticed, but he’s not saying anything. My brother, though?
Still hopelessly clueless.
That’s why I gave in to Gavin’s pleading last night and decided to go to Charley’s to hang out with the team after today’s game. And what a game it was. Downright magical—and the day was too. I was screaming my head off in the stands with Everleigh when they sent Frank in during the last quarter of the game since he’s been benched most of the season thanks to a shoulder injury. And when he intercepted the ball and scored a touchdown? I about lost my mind.
The only bummer was that Nico got hurt and was out of the game, but according to everyone, he’s fine, thank goodness. He got a concussion, but it’s a minor one, and he’s feeling okay, according to Everleigh’s recent text. Talk about relief. I adore that man, even though he can drive me crazy sometimes, but he’s always been a good friend to me. They all are, especially Everleigh. She’s been so supportive and makes time to hang out with me, even though she’s so busy with everything going on in her life.
The guilt is getting to me, though. I feel bad, lying to everyone about Gavin and I being together. Will they be mad at us when they find out the truth? Probably. We’re pretty convincing, pretending that we don’t want to be near each other. They all think I hate him and that he avoids me.
And while I don’t regret what we’re doing, I hope everyone will understand why we did this. Our reasoning might be dumb to them, but we understand each other, Gavin and I. And that’s all that counts.
When I get to Charley’s I wander around the bar, surprised by all the friendly greetings I get from the various football players when they first spot me. When I go up to them, every single one mentions that they’ve missed having me around. I get a lot of hugs too. It’s kind of shocking because I didn’t realize they noticed me when I was there. I swear, I felt like I blended in to the furniture most of the time, and now they’re all acting like I’m their long-lost, much-missed friend.
Life is so weird.
“Is Nico here with Everleigh?” I ask once we’re all seated at the usual tables the staff at Charley’s keeps reserved for the team.
“No. Once the docs cleared him, they went out to dinner with his mom.” Coop lifts his brows, sending me a meaningful look.
“I’m glad he got cleared.” Coop is still sending me that same look. “And I’m not surprised they went out with his mom. She seemed to get along great with Everleigh.”
“Don’t you think it’s a big deal that Nico took Everleigh to go out with his mom? They’re close. He runs everything by his mama, and he’s never had a girl meet her,” Coop explains. “I think they’re getting serious.”
From the way Ever talks about Nico, I don’t doubt for an instant that they’re serious. “I think it’s great. They’re good for each other.”
“I agree with you. And I see the way he acts around Ever. He’s fallen for her. Hard. He’s definitely in it with this girl.” Coop brings his beer bottle to his lips, tipping his head back and taking a long swig.
“In what?” I stare at my glass of water, sort of wishing I had a fruity cocktail to drink instead. Since I rarely go out to the bars anymore, I’ve been focusing more on my health. It helps having Everleigh guiding me since she’s studying to be a nutritionist and she has great advice. I’ve cut back on my alcohol intake, as well as sugar and carbs, and I’ve been working out more. Everleigh and I have private yoga sessions a couple of times a week, and I’ve been running around the track at school. I’ve even lost some weight, though that wasn’t my goal when I started this endeavor. I wanted to be healthier and have a clearer mind.
Instead of worrying about everything I can’t control, I gained some clarity about my life and my goals. I feel better and look better, and I’m more confident.
“Nico is in it for the long run with Everleigh. He’s in love with her.” Coop sets his beer bottle on the table, then reaches for the damp label and shreds it with his fingers.
“Did he tell you that?”
“No, but it’s obvious. We can all see it.”
He’s right. We can. Can people see it between Gavin and me? I haven’t said it out loud to him, but I’m in love with Gavin. I’ve crushed on him for what feels like forever, and now that we spend time together, my feelings have only intensified. It has to be love. What else could it be?
And that’s serious. I’m in love with Gavin Maddox. Is he in love with me? I think so. I hope so. He acts like he is, but who knows? Maybe it’s just raging lust. He does want to have sex with me all the time, but I feel the same way. It only gets better between us every time. I let him do whatever he wants to me, and trust when I say he wants to do a lot of things to me. With me. It’s wonderful. He’s wonderful.
A soft sigh escapes me. I’ve got it so tremendously bad for that man. Maybe that’s why he wants to tell everyone. He feels the same way about me.
Coop and I end up being the only ones at our table, and it’s weird, how Gavin hasn’t shown up yet. Dollar is standing in front of the other table nearby, retelling his game story for about the millionth time. He’s animated, his arms gesturing everywhere, and I’m sure the story gets wilder the more he repeats it, but everyone is humoring him because after being benched for the whole season, to get that chance to make such an epic play ...
His teammates understand. They get it. Dollar is now a bit of a legend, and they’re letting him revel in it.
“You dating anyone?” Coop asks me seemingly out of nowhere.
I freeze, shocked by his question, and I tell myself to relax.
“What? No, not at all.” I shake my head, still a little thrown and trying to play it off. I probably sound too defensive, but he caught me off guard. “Lately I’m in bed by nine every night.”
With Gavin most of the time, but I don’t say that out loud. Coop would probably freak out.
“Boring.” He nudges me with his elbow, and I slide away from his reach, sending him a glare, though I’m not mad. “When did you turn into such an old maid?”
“I’ve taken these last few months to work on myself,” I remind him, always on the defensive with Coop. I don’t know why he picks on me about it. Oh, maybe because he’s my older brother?
Yeah, I’m sure that’s it.
“I’m proud of you, Sisi.” He takes another drink of his beer, not even paying any attention to me while I sit next to him, suddenly choked up.
Coop hasn’t called me Sisi in years. It’s a nickname he gave me a long time ago when I was a baby, and it stuck until high school. By that time, I would get mad at him for calling me that, and he eventually stopped.
But right now, hearing him say he’s proud of me and calling me Sisi? I sort of want to cry.
“Thank you,” I manage to choke out, clearing my throat. He sends me an odd look, and I flash him a closed-mouth smile, not wanting him to notice that I’m all teary eyed. Thankfully he isn’t paying attention, and Dollar chooses that moment to approach our table, grinning so widely I wouldn’t doubt that his face will hurt later.
“Guys, I am on top of the world tonight,” Frank announces, spreading his arms out wide. “Best game of my life.”
“It was amazing, bro,” Coop says, his praise genuine. I can hear it in his voice. They all pick on Frank because he always has a reaction, but there is genuine affection between the roommates, and I love how supportive they are of each other when it matters.
I give Frank the accolades he’s seeking. “You were great today, Frank. The best catch of the game, maybe even the season.”
My brother gives me a look that says Laying it on thick much? but I just smile serenely at him in return.
“Thanks, Coop. Sienna.” Frank smiles at me and scoots onto the booth seat, sitting next to me. He leans in and kisses my cheek, pulling away with a smile. “You’re looking good.”
“Don’t get any weird ideas.” I thrust my index finger in his face, and he laughs, pulling away from me but still staying in the booth with us. Other teammates eventually join us at the table, and we’re all making small talk, mostly predictions about their playoff future and where they think they might end up.
I remain quiet, simply absorbing their good vibes as they chat. Everyone’s in a positive mood, still riding the high from their win. They’ve lost only one game the entire season, and they are well on their way to that national championship they want so badly.
But there’s one person who hasn’t shown up yet, and while I’m supposed to act like I don’t care, I can’t take it any longer. And I’m not about to risk texting him right now. What if Coop sees me?
“Hey.” I tap Frank’s shoulder, and he turns to look at me, his brows lowered in question. “Where’s Gav tonight?”
Ugh, I still hate calling him that, but I’m trying to keep our conversation casual. Like I don’t really care where he might be, which is a total lie.
“His parents showed up unexpectedly, and he went to dinner with them after the game,” Frank explains before he turns away from me, resuming his conversation with the guy sitting next to him.
My heart drops. He never told me his parents were coming, but maybe he really didn’t know. And he’s with them still tonight, having dinner together? Is he ready to fling himself off a bridge yet or what? I don’t mean to sound dramatic in my own head, but I remember what he said to me that night when we first had sex. What he’s shared with me when he does talk about his parents, which isn’t often. I get the sense he’d rather pretend they don’t exist most of the time.
He admitted to me recently that he has a horrible relationship with his father and they’ve never been close. Which makes me feel sad because Coop and I are so close to our parents. I appreciate having them in my life and will text my mom about anything and everything just to show I’m thinking about her, which I always am.
Someday soon when we reveal our relationship to everyone, I’m going to bring Gavin over to my mom and dad’s, and they’re going to make him feel so welcome. They both adore him and think he’s a great friend to Coop. Just wait until they find out he’s their daughter’s boyfriend.
Mom is probably going to faint. She’s said to me more than once she thinks Gavin is handsome and charming.
Same, Mom. Same.
After approximately thirty minutes of sitting in silence and growing increasingly worried while everyone around me is having a great time chatting and drinking, I eventually make my way out of the booth so I can leave Charley’s. I can’t concentrate or pretend to have a good time when I know Gavin is out there suffering through what I’m sure is a tension-filled dinner. I hope his father isn’t being too terrible toward him.
Though he probably is.
I make my way through Charley’s, my gaze snagging on the back of a man who’s sitting at the bar, his head dipped, his shoulders hunched. There are women flanking either side of him, and I know without a doubt who it is. How long has he been here, anyway?
Operating on pure instinct, I march right up to him and tap him on the shoulder, not saying a word. Gavin turns to his left, his eyes widening in surprise, and his relief at seeing me is obvious.
“Ladies, the love of my life just showed up. Whatever you had planned is definitely not happening tonight. Sorry,” he announces as he bobs and weaves from his position on the barstool.
Oh dear. This man is stinking drunk. Why else would he call me the love of his life? Talk about blowing our cover.
“Gavin.” I lower my voice, my gaze locking with his. “Are you okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be? Played the best game ever tonight. Did you see it?” He sounds like a little kid, eager and hopeful.
“You know I did.” I send a scathing look to both women who are still sitting there, waiting for a sign from Gavin that they’re all going to leave together—goodbye, ladies. It’s never going to happen.
They get the hint and scurry away, but not without sending me rude glares of their own as they walk past.
Gavin laughs as he watches them go, his gaze returning to mine. “Always scaring them off, aren’t you, baby?”
I want to melt at the nickname, but I tell myself to stay strong—for Gavin. It’s clear that he’s hurting. He doesn’t get shit-faced drunk often, and that’s exactly how I would describe him. He’s got a goofy grin on his face, but his eyes are weary. Even a little sad.
“Since you won’t, someone has to,” I tell him, my voice light. “Ready to go home?”
“No way. I just got here!” He’s shouting, drawing some attention, and I keep the smile pasted on my face.
“How long have you been here, Gavin?”
“How long, Sam?” he asks the bartender.
“An hour at least,” Sam answers.
I’m shocked. How did we not notice him? Were we all too preoccupied with Frank’s storytelling? Normally I can even sense Gavin’s presence when he enters the room, but not this time around.
“You should at the very least stop drinking,” I warn him softly, letting my concern show on my face. “Bad night?”
“The fucking worst,” he says without hesitation. “You volunteering to take me home, Freckles? Want to slip into my bed and cuddle? Stay the night?”
He is blowing our cover left and right this evening. “I’m going to call you an Uber.”
“Don’t bother. I can walk home. I’m fine.” Gavin tries to stand and wobbles on his feet, plopping back onto the stool. “Fuck. Maybe not.”
I pull my phone out of my jeans pocket and pull up the Uber app, ordering us a car in seconds. “Come on. Let’s go outside.”
I grab at Gavin’s arm, but he’s resistant, pointing at the bartender. “Hold on. I owe Sam here some money. I can’t leave without paying him.”
“I put it on your tab, Gav. Pay us next time. We know you’re good for it,” Sam reassures him.
Gavin tumbles off the stool, straightening his body and offering Sam a salute. “You’re a good man, Sam. Unless you’re creeping on Freckles here. Then I get pissed.”
I’m mortified, but Sam doesn’t seem affected by his remarks. He deals with drunk people all the time.
Grabbing hold of Gavin’s arm, I steer him toward the front door, ignoring the way my skin tingles where it makes contact with Gavin’s muscles. Ugh, his biceps are sexy. Everything about him is sexy, and I’m doing my best to act like he’s only my friend, but it’s like my body can’t resist.
It gravitates toward him until I’m leaning against his chest and he’s got his arm slung over my shoulders, the two of us wrapped around each other as we stand outside and wait for the Uber to show up.
“Did you really just help me walk out of the bar?” He seems confused.
I nod. “Someone had to get you out of there.”
His smile is soft. Sweet. “You’re the best, Freckles. I love you.”