Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
The next day, Colton was happy to see my family, my mom especially.
They hugged for so long I worried she was crushing him, but then I heard the sniffle and realized he was crying.
His face was buried in her neck, and she cooed against him, letting him experience what a mother should be like, what family truly is.
Maya was not very present, clacking away on her computer as she put together what we needed. By the time he was discharged and it was time for us to leave, she assured me we had everything, that it was safe, and we could release it whenever we wanted.
I don’t tell Colton any of this until we’re in the car. I want him contained for some of the bombshells I’m going to drop on him.
My hand reaches out, and he slips his fingers through mine as we speed down the highway.
“How are you feeling?” I ask, and he shrugs, turning to look at me.
“As well as I can. Groggy, but okay.”
“Do you remember the conversation we had before you fell asleep last night?”
“Kinda.”
I swallow, my fingers flexing on the steering wheel. “I told you I’d take care of you, and I have.”
I can feel his eyes on me. “What did you do, Myles?”
Hesitating for a moment, I reply, “I made the police report.”
He inhales sharply. “That was a mistake.”
Anger wells up inside of me. “I don’t think so. I want a record of what happened, and I don’t want you in any kind of trouble.”
“They’ll just bury it.”
“Maya has proof. It’s not buried.”
“No one will believe us.”
“Fuck you, Colton. Fuck you for making this so hard. Just let me help you for once, goddammit!”
He blinks at me, and then his shoulders sag. “You’re right. I…fuck. I need to let you help me. I’m just not used to it. I don’t think anyone will believe me. No one has ever believed me before.”
“They will. This time they will,” I say and squeeze his hand reassuringly. He doesn’t believe me, doesn’t trust that my plan will work. A small part of me wonders if it will, but Maya has reassured me it will. So I have to believe for both of us.
He’s silent for a long time, mulling over it, and I know that I have to tell him the other thing. The one that may impact our futures.
My heart races as my mouth opens. “He has pictures of me. Of us.”
Colton stops breathing.
“Who?”
He knows who, but he asks it anyway.
“Erick. The ones of me that you took. Naked.”
“Oh my god.”
“He threatened to leak them.”
“What does he want?”
“I don’t know. I think he’s going to do it to hurt you, to hurt me. This could ruin things for you, Colton. Your future in soccer.”
He blinks and then turns forward, his eyes closing.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Colton—”
“I don’t want to. I don’t want to think about it, of what this means.”
I don’t either, but we need a plan. We need to come up with something.
We’re fighting back, but I don’t want any harm to come to him.
Such a juxtaposition to how I felt when I saw him at that party.
At that time, I wanted to see him knocked off his high horse.
Now I want to do anything I can to protect him, to keep him up there for as long as he wants.
“I think we need to figure this out. Together. Because I might have told him I don’t care if he leaks them.”
“Jesus, Myles.”
“But I don’t care. I’m done caring. But I also don’t want this to harm you.”
“It will hurt both of us.”
“Not if we don’t let it.”
His eyes open, and he stares at me. “How? Because ever since that monster came into my life, he’s done nothing but hurt me. So tell me how we don’t let it.”
Those words cut, but I hold on to him tighter.
“If he leaks them, we won’t be ashamed. Not of who we are. We’ll just own it.”
His hand slips from mine, and he runs it down his face. I feel the absence of his touch, of what this small break could mean for our future—one I was planning on without realizing it.
My chest constricts, and I feel a pain radiating through my heart.
It’s starting to fracture.
Only he can mend it.
“I don’t know if that will work.”
My hand grips the console between us.
“It has to. We’ll fight back. In our own way, united. But not if you don’t want to. I don’t think you were ever in those pictures. Just me. I can take it…”
“I’m sure he has more than the photos on my phone.
I bet he has videos of the two of us fucking in my room.
” His face is buried in his hands, and he grunts in frustration.
“So fucking stupid! God, I’m so fucking dumb!
I should never have dragged you into this.
Into my fucked-up life. I can’t do this to you. I can’t do any of this.”
“Hey,” I say, reaching out and touching him gently, but he pulls away slightly.
That fracture starts to open wider, slow and painful.
“Don’t touch me. Not right now. Oh fuck. I can’t believe this is happening.”
My fingers fall to my thigh, and I squeeze, turning my gaze back to the road. We’re silent for a long time, so long that I feel nauseous. My hand moves up to my stomach and touches it, feeling it roil beneath my palm. I may be sick.
I’ve fallen for a guy who doesn’t want me anymore. He upended my entire life, and here he is pulling away.
My nudes are going to be leaked.
I’m going to be exposed.
And the worst part of it is I’m going to be all alone when it happens.
I pull up to his frat house, and he lets out a shaky breath.
“Why the fuck are you dropping me off here?” he asks, looking confused. He hasn’t said a word to me since he asked me not to touch him, and now he seems perplexed that I’m offering him an out.
“Figured you wanted to be alone.”
He huffs and pushes the heels of his palms into his eyes.
“Is that what you want from me? You want me to leave you alone?”
That break in my heart stops cracking wide open, and I put the car in Drive.
Yeah, fuck this. I’m not letting him choose. I’m gonna decide for him. I’m going to take what I want.
I don’t hesitate, just turn the car around and drive him to the apartment. Paulie is there, sitting and watching movies on the couch. His feet are propped up, a slice of pizza in his hand. When he sees the two of us walk in, he sits up, pausing his show.
“Hey, guys.” He must read the emotion in the room, the way our faces are drawn, the stiff set to our shoulders. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I lie. “We’re good. Just been a long day.
” And then I press my hand onto his lower back and lead Colton to the bedroom, turning over my shoulder and meeting Paulie’s gaze.
It tells him I’ll fill him in later. He needs to know what’s going on.
He’ll be inadvertently affected by this as well.
He’ll be the roommate of the guy with leaked nudes.
I want to let him know what’s going on before it happens, but right now, I want to just be with Colton. Everything that’s happened over the last forty-eight hours has taken its toll on me. And obviously on him. We must look like we’ve lived a hundred years at this point.
The bedroom door closes softly behind us, and Colton falls onto my bed, kicking his shoes off and tucking himself under the covers.
“Fuck. I’m so glad I have somewhere else to go. Can we just hide like this for a while? Pretend the world doesn’t exist?”
I stand over him, wanting to join him, but unsure of what we are anymore. The car ride made me question it all. And now I’m on unsteady ground.
“What are you doing standing up?”
My hand runs across the back of my neck. “Are we still together? Or has this ended?”
His eyes peek out from beneath the covers, and confusion moves across his face.
“Why would you think that it’s ended?”
“You said you can’t do this. You told me not to touch you in the car…”
“I didn’t mean that. I mean, I did, but I just needed a minute to think.
All of this is happening to you because of me.
And I know I should be selfless and end this between us so you can move on in peace.
To be with someone who has less baggage, but selfishly, I’m here in your bed, wanting you to come and hold me.
To make all the bad go away, even if it’s just for a minute. ”
My breath hitches at his admission. Fuck, why does this guy go from being cold and unbearable to the sweetest prick?
“What do you want me to be, Myles? Selfless or selfish?” he asks softly.
I don’t even hesitate, just kick my shoes off and climb in next to him.
“You can be as selfish as you want as long as you’re with me.” My arms go around him, pulling him against me. He’s warm and shaking slightly, as if all the anxiety he’s kept inside is pouring out.
He buries his head against my neck, his leg thrown over mine.
“You sure? This is going to get messy.”
“As long as you’re sure that you want me. Your soccer career could end. That’s what I’m most worried about.”
“It won’t. I’ll find a team that wants me. I’m that good. And if not, I have so much money, I don’t even know what to do with it.”
A laugh escapes me, and I press a kiss to the top of his head. My heart is mending. It still hurts, but fuck, am I glad that it’s not completely torn in two. I’m glad I asked him to be selfish. Because I’m being that too.
I’m choosing him despite the fact that it will expose us and possibly hurt his career.
“We’ll beat him at his cruel games, Colton. I promise,” I whisper.
“I trust you,” he replies. “I trust you with all of me.”
The nudes are leaked the following day. It was a link in an email sent to a few people on campus, and then forwarded to friends of friends of friends, and soon, everyone had access to them.
Paulie ends up receiving it, but he was expecting it.
While Colton was sleeping in my bed, I snuck out and told him everything.
The way his skin turned pink, his hands clenched into fists.
“I’ll murder him myself,” he murmurs.
“Don’t. We’re not going to let this bother us. So it shouldn’t bother you. But I understand if you want out. I’d totally understand if you wanted to distance yourself from me.”