Play With Me (Angels of Désirer #3)

1. Prologue

Prologue

CARMELA

Age 19

M ami and Papi always said that I danced before I walked. It didn’t matter where I was. If there was music, I was dancing.

Throughout my entire childhood, I dreamed of becoming a professional dancer in New York. Study at Juilliard. Dance on Broadway. Maybe one day, be a backup dancer for Beyoncé or Christina Aguilera.

Mami has other plans for my future.

I come from a strict Cuban American household. Church on Sundays, pray before every meal and every night before bed, be an active part of our community, mind your elders, and do everything your parents tell you to.

But above all else, no sex before marriage.

And no dancing for a career .

“You need to get a good college education, Carmelita. Find a good job and a good husband. Start a family. I don’t want to hear any nonsense about dancing in New York. Do you know who dances in New York? Women of the night. On poles. Do you want to end up like them? That’s what women do while they are waiting to make it .”

“That’s not true, Mami! I don’t want to go to college. I want to dance!”

“You should feel lucky we can afford to send you to school, mijita. You will go, and that is final! And you will behave while you are there. You don’t want to end up like Mae’s daughter, do you? Disgracing her family. They can’t even show their faces at church.”

Ana, Mae’s daughter, had been unlucky enough to get pregnant the very first time she had premarital sex. She went home with her tail between her legs and a bun in the oven. Her parents even thought about moving to a different town, they were so humiliated.

Like every other conversation we’d ever had, Mami’s word was final. They enrolled me in the college a few hours away to get a business degree, and sent me off with a warning to do nothing but study.

No parties, no boys, and no sex.

Which is precisely why when my roommate asks if I want to go to a club in New York tonight, I jump at the opportunity.

“My brother is out of town for business and said we can crash at his apartment. His job pays for it, and it’s enormous!” Lisa exclaims as we rush to get ready.

Lisa is at school on a full-ride softball scholarship. She’s five-ten, blonde, bubbly, and I immediately liked her after Mami told Papi that she’d be trouble when they moved me into the dorm. We’ve been inseparable ever since school started, and I have half a mind to ask her if I can go back to California with her over summer break so I don’t have to spend it helping with the church’s summer program for kids.

Not that there’s anything wrong with volunteering my time, but now that I know what it’s like to live on my own, I don’t want to go back.

“I’m just excited to dance. Dancers get discovered in clubs all the time!” I tell her as I fluff my hair before putting more hairspray in it. I plan on sweating a lot tonight, so bring on the humidity-proof spray and the waterproof makeup.

“Oh my God, you could totally get picked up! You’re such a great dancer! I heard that sometimes girls get picked to dance on podiums or even in cages! How hot is that?” Lisa tosses all of our makeup and hair products in a bag and zips it up. “Okay, I think that’s it. We can drop this off at my brother’s and then meet up with my friends for a little pregame before the club.”

“Are you sure we’ll be able to get in?” In the back of my mind, I know we can get in so much trouble for being in a club when we aren’t twenty-one. I can hear Mami in my ear telling me it’s a terrible idea, but I’ve never wanted to do something so badly in my life. I just don’t want to get into trouble.

“Oh yeah, totally. Holly is dating some rich guy who said he’d vouch for us as long as we don’t try to drink there. Now let’s go! We don’t wanna miss the train!”

The club is everything I dreamed it would be. Loud, sweaty, exhilarating . While Lisa and her friends head up to the VIP area where Holly’s boyfriend and his friends are, I stay down on the dance floor and get lost in the beat of the EDM.

Getting into the club had been easy. Holly’s boyfriend shook hands with the bouncer, who just opened the rope for us and didn’t even bother checking IDs. The only thing any of us has ordered at the bar is water, but I have a hunch that they are drinking upstairs.

There’s only one thing about tonight I’d change if I could—my outfit. Holly took one look at my black cotton leggings and tank top and told me there was no way she was letting me wear them out. Since we’re roughly the same size, she lent me a red bandage dress that isn’t exactly ideal for dancing in.

But I think that was her point .

A pair of large, warm hands encircle my waist, startling me. Spinning around with a jolt, I look up to see the hottest guy I’ve ever seen smiling down at me. “Hi there, tiny dancer. Holly and Lisa sent me to fetch you.”

“Fetch me? Am I a dog?” I shout over the music.

He smiles warmly, flashing nice teeth surrounded by a neatly trimmed beard the same dark color as his perfectly styled hair. “Poor choice of words. I apologize.” He reaches for my waist again and for some reason, I let him draw me closer so he can speak into my ear. “We’re going to leave and go someplace a little quieter.”

“I like it loud. I like the music.” I don’t want to leave. We’ve barely been here for two hours. The whole point of coming to New York was to come to this club and dance. My eyes rise to the VIP area. Lisa is hanging over the railing, waving at me with an apologetic look. She presses her palms together and mouths I’m sorry. My shoulders sag. If she wants to go, I’m stuck.

“You know, if you want, we can stay. I can bring you back to Lisa later. I’ve been enjoying watching you dance.”

My gaze snaps back to the man, who still has his arms around me. “Who are you?”

Chuckling, he dips his head. “I’m Mick. Mick Charles. I’m a friend of Nathan’s. Lisa told me your name is Carmelita. ”

“Cara. My friends call me Cara.”

Mick grips my waist tighter, pulling me against him so our bodies press tightly together. My hands fly to his chest as I wobble in the heels Holly made me wear. “Something tells me I won’t want to be your friend.”

Brows furrowing, shock lances my chest. This man doesn’t know me. Why wouldn’t he want to be my friend? I try to push away, but he only holds me closer. “How about I keep calling you tiny dancer, and by the end of the night, I’ll think of a nickname that only I can use.”

Heat flows through me, and it’s not because of the gyrating bodies surrounding us. Mick stares at me like he wants to devour me, and the space between my legs grows damp at the thought of him there. He must read it on my face because his smile turns fiendish.

“Come upstairs with me. We can catch up with the others later.”

Even though I want to keep dancing, I find myself nodding as he takes my hand and pulls me through the crowd.

I can hear Mami’s voice in my head telling me not to go with him. I don’t know if that’s what causes me to go anyway or if it’s because I like how Mick makes my body feel with a simple look.

Either way, it feels like I’m following the Devil.

“Wow. You live here?”

I didn’t just follow the Devil to the VIP section of the club, I let him bring me back to his lair. Everything is dark—from the flooring to the walls and the furniture. It’s all deep, rich browns and grays with crystal light fixtures and floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city.

Mick’s smooth tenor rings out across his penthouse. “It’s my parents’, but they spend most of their time upstate. They’ll spend more time here next year when I run for Senate.”

We spent hours at the club sipping champagne and talking about our lives. Barely ten minutes into our conversation and I’d completely forgotten about dancing. Mick is everything Mami and Papi want me to stay away from. He’s older, devastatingly handsome, and has a way with words that make me want to melt into a puddle.

Plus, he’s in politics. Mami and Papi hate politics.

There’s no mistaking why he asked me to come home with him. And I’m ready. So ready to take that next step into womanhood. Who better to do it with than an experienced man with a smooth tongue who promises to satisfy me thoroughly?

As I stare out the windows at the city below, he comes up behind me, wrapping an arm around my waist. The smell of fresh-cut grass laced with sweet tobacco permeates my senses. The combination is odd, but on Mick, it sets every nerve ending on fire. He kisses my neck, his lips on my skin causing goosebumps to erupt down my flesh, settling between my legs like a heavy weight.

“Ready to go to bed, tiny dancer?” he murmurs, fingers sliding beneath the straps of my dress. “Or maybe I should take you right here for the whole city to see.” He pulls the dress down roughly, my breasts bouncing as they’re freed from the material.

A whimper leaves my throat as he spins me and backs me against the cool glass, picking me up by my thighs as he smashes our lips together. He tastes like sin and whiskey and every bad decision I’ve ever wanted to make since the first time I got turned on reading a romance novel that probably shouldn’t have been in the young adult section of my high school library.

Mick grinds his erection against me as his tongue explores my mouth, caressing mine like a stolen treasure. I’m wet. So wet that I know he’s going to have a spot on his pants when he lowers me. My whole body burns with embarrassment and arousal, and I tangle my fingers in his raven hair, just long enough for me to grip the strands and pull his head back.

He lets out a grunt, bucking his hips into me. I tighten my grip in response. “Fuck, baby. You like a little pain with your pleasure?”

“I don’t know. I’ve…I’ve never done this before.” I’m honest with him, though the shocked look on his face makes me wish I wasn’t. Lisa says most boys at school don’t like to be the ones who take your virginity.

But Mick is twelve years older than I am. Surely a man would be okay with it?

His eyes darken as he lowers me. When my feet hit the floor, I’m filled with a sense of dread and shame. “You’re a virgin?”

Slowly, I nod, tears filling my eyes for unknown reasons. He cups my cheek, forcing me to look up at him. “Why are you about to cry, tiny dancer?”

It takes me a few moments to breathe through fighting the tears so they don’t fall. The back of my sinuses burn, and my throat feels thick. “I want you to take it. But I understand if it’s not appealing to you.”

Mick lets out a sound somewhere between a snort and a laugh. His jaw sets as he clenches his teeth, staring at me like he can’t believe our situation. I cross my arms over my naked chest, willing myself to grab my dress so I can save myself from further embarrassment.

As I bend to get it, he snatches my wrist and hauls me against him. His eyes are wild, nostrils flaring as he tries to control himself. It frightens me, but at the same time, ignites something deep in my chest.

“Baby, there’s never been anything in my entire life more appealing than the thought of you belonging only to me.” He scoops me up in his arms, carrying me bridal style down the hall and kicking open the door to what I assume is his bedroom.

Gently, he lays me down on the bed and makes me his in every way imaginable. It’s the perfect first time—and second, and third. And even though we use condoms, I remind myself to talk to Lisa about how to get on birth control without Mami and Papi finding out.

Four months later

“You’re going out of town with Mick again?” Lisa watches me from her bed while I finish applying Mick’s favorite shade of red lipstick. “I feel like you’re always gone, Cara. We never get to hang out anymore.”

“I’m sorry. Mick will be busy traveling for work here soon, so we’re just trying to spend all the time we can together.” Turning, I see that Lisa is wearing a look of hesitation, chewing on the corner of her lip like she does when she’s not sure if she should tell the truth about something. “What is it, Lisa?”

She heaves a deep sigh. “I didn’t want to be the one to tell you, but Holly said that Nathan told her Mick is engaged.”

Ice fills my veins. There’s no way there’s any truth to that. Mick and I have spent nearly every weekend together since we met. He’s even come over during the week when I have class and hung out with me while I’ve done homework. If he were engaged, I’d know. He wouldn’t be able to spend time with me if that were true.

“Um, I think Nathan is mistaken. How could Mick spend all this time with me if he’s engaged?” Stiffly, I finish putting my clothes in my Chanel travel bag—a gift from Mick, who’s taking me out of town for the weekend but won’t tell me where.

“Yeah, I didn’t want to believe it either. According to Nathan, though, they’ve been together for years. I just don’t want to see you get hurt, Cara.” Lisa looks genuinely upset, and I’m torn between believing what she’s saying and putting no stock into Nathan’s gossip.

A ding goes off, and my phone lights up. It’s a text from Mick saying he’s waiting for me outside.

“Are you still going to go?” Lisa asks.

I’m momentarily frozen as I internally debate what to do. Should I go outside and ask him point blank? Or should I trust that he would never do something like that to me?

Ultimately, my heart wins, but the drive to our destination is filled with heavy silence. “Is everything okay, Mellie?” Mick reaches over and threads his hand through my hair, running his thumb and forefinger down my neck to release the tension I’m holding.

I melt into his touch. “Yeah. I’m okay. Just tired.”

He keeps his eyes on the road and pulls me over the center console to kiss my temple. “Well, I’m afraid you won’t be getting much sleep this weekend, babe. Trust me, you won’t want to miss a second.”

“What is it? You know I hate surprises.” I giggle, curling my legs beneath me as I shift in my seat to face him.

He just grins as he pulls onto a street that takes us next to the water. Giant homes line the road, facing the New York City skyline across the Hudson.

“Did you rent a home for the weekend?” I ask as he pulls into the gated driveway of one of them. He doesn’t answer me as he rolls down his window and punches a code into the keypad.

“Definitely going to be replacing that,” he murmurs. My heart skips a beat as the meaning of his words sinks in.

“Mick? Where are we?” The gate opens, and he drives through it slowly. Large trees surround the property, shielding the massive house from the neighbor’s view. It’s a three-story classic colonial made of brick. As he pulls around the back to a three- car garage, I see a pool and a Juliette balcony off one of the bedrooms on the second level.

“Welcome home, tiny dancer.” He puts the car in park and grins over at me. “Happy birthday, Mellie.”

My entire body warms. “My birthday isn’t for another few weeks. Did you buy this?”

He laughs and gets out of the car, coming around to open my door for me. “Honestly, I’ve been looking for a while. When I saw it, I pictured you in it and knew I had to have it.” I’m still staring at the house in awe as he wraps his arms around me. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I saw you dancing at that club. I just want you close and safe and to know you’re taken care of when I’m not here.”

My questions of why he bought a house in Jersey when he works and lives in New York get pushed to the back of my mind with his declaration. “I love you too, Mick.” Pressing up on my tiptoes, I kiss him, pouring all my love and devotion into the way my lips meld with his. “I can’t believe you bought me a house.”

“I bought us a house.”

Something about the finite way he says it has our future flashing before my eyes. Brimming with excitement, I exclaim, “I want you to meet my parents.”

My admission causes him to stiffen against me. “I don’t think it’s quite time for that yet, Mellie.”

“You bought a house and expect me to live in it. I’d say it’s time.” I tilt my head to catch his eyes, but he moves to grab our bags out of the car.

“We can talk about it later. For now, I just want to enjoy this with you. Just you and me, okay? No distractions.” He grabs both bags in one hand and bends to wrap an arm beneath my butt, picking me up in the other. “Now, let me give you the grand tour.”

Two months later

Mick pulls me down the long hall of the gentlemen's club he’s a part of. We’ve been coming here for weeks, cloistered away from the city and our friends. New York used to be fun, and now, when he tells me he wants me to meet him in the city, I find myself wanting to come up with excuses as to why I can’t. He’s barely spent any time helping me put our house together in Jersey, always needing to stay for work or for some other purpose that makes no sense to me. Yet, when I come to him, we don’t do anything other than stay in bed all weekend or entertain his friends here at this club.

The men are allowed to smoke cigars here, and the scent clings to my skin and hair, causing my stomach to turn with queasy flips. One of Mick’s more decent friends, Scott Tailor, raises a glass to us as we pass through one of the giant sitting rooms. “Where are we going, Mick? ”

“I got us a private room. We need to talk.” He sounds nervous, and I hate the anxiety that’s running up and down my spine like baby spiders.

“We could have talked at home. I don’t really like it here, you know that.” Everything changed when I moved out of my dorm and into the house. Mick became more distant, yet he always knew how to keep me hanging on his every word—all the time we used to spend together dwindled to mere hours every week.

“Don’t be difficult, Mellie. I’m tired, okay?” He sighs.

Ripping my hand out of his, I shove his shoulder to make him turn and face me. We’re both surprised by my actions, but I recover first. “I’m not being difficult, Mick. Why did you bring me here to talk? You promised me we’d stay in Jersey this weekend.”

The woman who runs the establishment appears out of thin air. Her name is Denise, and she’s been lovely since Mick first brought me. Denise is a widow with graying blonde hair, milky blue eyes, and an attitude that puts the patrons in their place with a single glance. She reminds me a lot of Mami.

Mami, who I haven’t spoken to since I moved into the house Mick bought. Mami and Papi were outraged when I moved out of the dorms. They disapproved of me living with a man—especially one they hadn’t met—before marriage. It didn’t help matters that Mick never made an effort to meet them. Their worst fears coming true.

“Is there a problem?” Denise croons as she sucks on the end of her cigarette holder.

Mick shakes his head, hand curling around my bicep to lead me away. “No problem here.”

She watches us go with a shrewd facade, shooting me a wink as we round a corner. Mick pulls me into an empty room. There’s a bed and an attached bathroom. At this point, I’m well-acquainted with what happens behind the doors that line the halls of this place. Each one looks different, yet they all serve the same purpose.

Mick sits me down on the edge of the bed and kneels between my legs. “I need you to listen to me, and I need you to have an open mind, okay?”

Lisa flashes through my mind—sweet Lisa, who I haven’t seen in nearly two months. Who begged me not to move out. Who kept telling me that Mick was bad news and that I shouldn’t get tangled up with him.

“What’s going on, Mick? You’re scaring me.” He’s acting erratic and paranoid. He’s been looking over his shoulder all night like he’s afraid someone is following us.

His hands grip my knees before moving to cup my cheeks. “I love you, Mellie. You know that, right, baby?”

I don’t know why, but tears line my lashes as I nod. He lets out a shuddered breath before raking a hand through his hair, standing to pace the room. “This isn’t easy for me to tell you, but I want you to hear me out before you say anything.” He pauses to look at me, waiting for confirmation to keep going. When I give it to him, he turns his back to me as though he can’t bear to look me in the face when he speaks. “I’m engaged, Mellie. It was arranged years ago, back when I was in college. I don’t want it, God, I don’t fucking want it. I don’t want her. I want you. But I can’t marry you, tiny dancer. I have to marry her.”

I’m trembling by the time he turns around. Tears run down my cheeks, leaving hot trails in their wake. Lisa was right. “You’ve been lying to me this whole time?”

“Baby, trust me, I never intended to fall in love with anyone. I thought my life was mapped out, and I was happy to just roll with it. Until I saw you. The second I laid eyes on you, I had to know you, even though I knew it was selfish. I never imagined we’d be here.” He kneels between my legs again, but this time, I push him away, standing and crossing the room to put some distance between us.

A storm brews in my chest—a tempest of emotions raining down from anger to sadness and everything in between. “You told me you loved me!”

“I do, Mellie!”

“You bought us a house, Mick! ”

“And I have every intention of keeping it. Mellie, nothing has to change–”

Whirling around, my lips twist into a sneer. “ Excuse me ? You expect me to stay with you while you marry someone else?”

“She doesn’t mean anything to me, tiny dancer. You are my world. You know that.” Mick stands and closes the distance between us. His hands lift to cup my cheeks again, but I jerk back out of his hold. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner. I thought that I could get my parents to end it, but it’s old family bullshit. There are literal contracts in place to ensure a smooth merger of our parents’ companies. The merger is what’s funding my campaign.”

“You’re in fucking politics, Mick! Do you think this isn’t going to get out? Do you know what this will do to my family?” I thought of Mami and Papi, who always just wanted the best for me. Who warned me not to fall for gorgeous smiles and promises of forever if I’d just spread my legs.

“Why do you think I never bothered to meet them? I’ve already spoken to someone about the situation. They think it’s best if you change your name legally. That way, if anyone tries to do any digging, your family isn’t implicated.” He takes a breath like he’s relieved. As if he thinks I’m actually going to go along with this asinine plan.

“Absolutely not, Mick. Are you crazy?” Instantly, my mind starts working on overdrive. We’re on summer break. I can’t go back to the dorms. Lisa and I haven’t spoken, and I’d feel foolish calling her to see if I can go to California. My only other option is moving back in with Mami and Papi, but I’m not even sure they’ll have me. They told me I had to choose, and I did. I chose Mick.

I chose wrong.

“Everyone was right about you,” I whisper. The storm inside me dies down to a drizzle, the sadness overtaking my anger. I lost everything because of this selfish man in front of me.

“Mellie, please, baby. I don’t want to lose you,” he pleads. Tears gather in his jadeite eyes, and I wonder if they’re real or if he’s just putting on a show. I can’t fathom why he’d want to stay with me. I can’t offer him anything. There’s nothing I bring to the table in this relationship. I don’t come from money or good social standing. Whoever this woman is can offer him everything he’s ever wanted.

Like a heavy stone in water, my heart sinks at the reality of the situation. I gave up so much for him, and this whole time he knew we’d eventually end up here . “Then you shouldn’t have lied, Mick.”

Wiping away my tears, I turn to go, but he grabs my arm and spins me back around. “You can’t leave me, Mellie. I forbid it.” His tone is demanding and final, and nothing like the man I know. Desperate to keep something that never belonged to him in the first place—because you can’t own a woman while engaged to another.

Well…he can’t own this woman, anyway.

Ripping my arm out of his grasp, I snap, “You don’t own me! I’m not your possession. I’m supposed to be the woman you love.”

“You are!”

“You have a funny way of showing it. Goodbye, Mick.” Walking away from the man I love takes every ounce of courage I possess. But not even a tiny part of me wants to consider the alternative to this situation.

I don’t want to be his mistress. I refuse to lower myself to that level.

Little did I know, what I would become was so much worse.