Chapter 21 - Pippa
I stared at the resignation letter on my kitchen table, torn on what to do. I had written it up on an impulse, when the pain of knowing Abe couldn’t give what I wanted most became a little too much.
My eyes filled with tears, blurring the carefully crafted words before me. This had been the toughest letter I had ever written. The thought of leaving the Vadims, the only real family I'd known since losing my parents, made my chest tighten.
But what other choice did I have? I loved Abe. He didn’t love me back. His addiction to me was exactly what it was—an addiction to his desires. It all came down to sex, and when he’d lost interest, it would all be over.
The heartbreak hurts now. But to consider bringing a baby into this chaos, and to know Abe might someday walk away from us both when I was no longer a novelty was not a risk I could take. My child didn’t deserve that.
"Come on, Pippa," I let out a choked sob. "You can do this. It's just a job. You’ll find another."
But it wasn't just a job, was it? The casino had been my lifeline, my security blanket in a world that had been so cruel.
"Think of the baby," I whispered, my hand instinctively moving to my still-flat stomach. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks—I was going to be a mother. Alone.
Fear gripped me, its icy tendrils wrapping around my heart. How could I raise a child on my own? The Vadims had always provided for me, sheltered me from the harsh realities of the world. Without them, without the casino, what did I have?
"You have yourself," I said firmly, straightening my spine. "And that's enough."
But was it? The doubt crept in, insidious and persistent. I pushed it away, focusing instead on the practicalities. I couldn't tell anyone about the baby, not yet. It would complicate things, raise questions I wasn't ready to answer.
"One step at a time." I tried to encourage myself, grabbing the envelope to put the paper back in. "First, finish writing the letter. Then, you figure out the rest. For today, just get your ass to work."
***
I had just finished putting on my shoes when a sharp knock at the door shattered my concentration, making me jump. My heart raced as I stared at the entrance, wondering who could be calling this early in the day. I hesitated, my hand hovering over the doorknob before I opened it.
"Pippa!" Two familiar voices chorused in unison.
I blinked, taken aback by the sight of Adley and Emory standing on my doorstep, their faces etched with concern. My initial apprehension melted away, replaced by a wave of relief so strong it nearly knocked me off my feet.
"What are you two doing here?" I asked, realizing I was actually happy to see them. Even if they were Abe’s sisters-in-law.
Emory's brow furrowed. "We've been worried sick about you! You disappeared without a word."
"Can we come in?" Adley added, her eyes scanning my face as if searching for clues.
I nodded, stepping aside to let them enter. "Of course, sorry. I'm just… surprised to see you."
After they walked in, they both gave me hugs. Warm, genuine hugs. A lump formed in my throat at the thought that with Abe no longer in my life, they wouldn’t be around much either.
"How have you been, Pippa?" Emory asked, her voice soft with genuine concern.
I closed the door, buying myself a moment to compose my features. When I turned back, I managed a smile that I hoped looked more convincing than it felt.
"I'm fine," I lied, gesturing for them to sit on the couch. "Really. Just needed some time to myself, that's all."
Adley's eyes narrowed, clearly not buying it. "You look pale. Are you eating enough?"
I laughed, the sound brittle even to my own ears. "Always the mother hen, aren't you, Ad?"
"Someone has to be," she shot back, but her tone was gentle.
As I settled into the armchair across from them, I felt a flicker of warmth in my chest. Despite everything, despite the secrets I was keeping, it felt good to have them here. To know that someone cared enough to check on me.
"I appreciate you coming," I said softly, meaning every word. "I really do."
Emory leaned forward, her brow furrowed. "We've been worried sick, Pip. You just… vanished. No calls, no texts. What happened?"
I swallowed hard, my hand instinctively moving to my still-flat stomach before I caught myself. They didn’t know I was pregnant, and I didn’t plan to tell them. If I did, Abe would know. "I'm sorry for worrying you. I just needed some space to think things through."
Adley's sharp eyes caught the movement. But to my relief, she didn't register it. Instead, she said, "We miss you at the house. It's not the same without you."
I forced a laugh, trying to keep things light. "I'm sure Abe's enjoying the peace and quiet without me nagging him all the time."
The moment I said his name, I saw Adley and Emory exchange a quick glance. My heart rate picked up.
"Actually," Emory began hesitantly, "Abe's been… different since you left."
I raised an eyebrow, aiming for nonchalance even as my pulse quickened. "Different how?"
Adley sighed, running a hand through her hair. "He's drinking more, for one. And he's been in a foul mood. Snapping at everyone, even Ivan and Vlad."
"He broke a glass the other day," Emory added quietly. "Just crushed it in his hand when someone mentioned your name."
I felt my eyes widen, a mix of emotions swirling in my chest. Concern, confusion, and something else I couldn't quite name. "That doesn't sound like Abe," I murmured, more to myself than to them.
"It's not," Adley confirmed, her voice soft but firm. "He's not himself, Pippa. And I think… I think it has everything to do with you leaving."
As Adley's words sank in, I felt my world tilt on its axis. My mind raced, replaying every interaction I'd had with Abe over the past few months. The long glances I'd brushed off as nothing. The way his touch seemed to linger whenever we were close. The fierce protectiveness that went beyond his usual bravado.
"I… I don't understand," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "Abe's never been serious about anyone. He's a player, a womanizer. Why would he…"
I trailed off, unable to finish the thought. Emory reached out, squeezing my hand gently. "Maybe you're different, Pippa. Maybe you've always been different to him. Like I said, he’s never brought a girl back home before, let alone let us meet one."
My heart thundered in my chest as I considered the possibility. Abe Ustinov, the man who could have any woman he wanted, actually caring about me? It seemed impossible. And yet…
"Remember that night at the casino you told me about when you came home after working overtime?" Adley prompted, her eyes searching mine. "When that drunk tried to grab you?"
I nodded, recalling how Abe had appeared out of nowhere, his eyes blazing with a fury I'd never seen before. He'd nearly broken the man's arm.
"I thought he was just being protective of an employee," I said weakly, but even as the words left my mouth, I knew they weren't true. He didn’t do that when anyone else was in trouble.
"Pippa," Emory said gently, "I've never seen Abe look at anyone the way he looks at you. It's like… like you're the only person in the room."
I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes, overwhelmed by the implications. "But he never said anything. He never tried to…"
"What if he doesn’t know how to?" Adley asked, raising an eyebrow. "What if he never learned? Never saw what love looks like.”
I flinched, knowing she was right. I'd spent so long convincing myself that Abe could never see me as more than a convenient fling, I'd missed all the signs that pointed to something deeper.
"Oh God," I whispered, pressing a hand to my stomach where our child grew. "What have I done?"
I opened my mouth, ready to confide in my friends, when a sudden, deafening crash echoed from outside. We all jumped, startled by the unexpected noise.
"What the hell was that?" Adley exclaimed, her eyes wide with alarm.
My heart began to race, adrenaline coursing through my veins. "I don't know," I replied, already moving toward the window. Years of working for the Vadims had honed my instincts, and right now, they were screaming danger.
I peered out cautiously, my fingers gripping the curtain so tightly my knuckles turned white. The street below was shrouded in shadows, but I could make out movement—quick, furtive shapes darting between parked vans.
"Pippa?" Emory's voice quavered slightly. "What do you see?"
I turned back to face them, noting the worry etched on their faces. "I'm not sure, but something's not right," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "We need to—”
Another crash, closer this time, cut me off mid-sentence. My heart leaped into my throat as I instinctively moved away from the window, my mind racing through possible escape routes.
"Ladies," I said, surprised by the calm in my voice, "I think we might have some unwelcome visitors. We need to move, now."
Adley and Emory exchanged anxious glances, the tension in the room palpable. I could see the fear in their eyes, but there was trust there too—trust in me to get us out of this mess.
I took a deep breath, pushing aside my own fears. I had more than just myself to protect now, and I'd be damned if I let anything happen to my friends or my unborn child.
My eyes darted around the apartment, searching for anything we could use as a weapon. I grabbed a heavy brass lamp from the side table, my fingers curling around its cool metal base.
"Adley, Emory," I said, my voice low and urgent. "I need you to go to the bedroom and open my window. I’m going to barricade the door.”
Emory's eyes widened. "But what about you?"
I forced a smile, hoping it looked more confident than I felt. "I'll be right behind you. Just need to make sure we can buy ourselves some time."
As they hurried to the bedroom, I could hear the sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs outside. My heart pounded in my chest, but I pushed down the fear.
I quickly placed a chair under the door handle and locked the door.
"Pippa!" Adley hissed as I slipped inside. "What's the plan?"
I helped them push the dresser in front of the door, my muscles straining with the effort. "We're getting out of here," I said, moving to the window. "Fire escape. It's not ideal, but it's our best shot."
As I showed Adley and Emory the way to the fire escape from my room, I could hear the main door of the apartment being kicked in. The sound sent a chill down my spine, but I forced myself to focus on the task at hand.
"Ladies," I said, gesturing to the now-open window, "after you. And whatever you do, don't look down. Go straight to the roof and then take the stairs down. Press random elevator buttons. Throw them off our tracks and listen, do not look down. Do not wait. Each one of us should go separate ways once we get up there."
The metal of the fire escape creaked under our weight as Adley and Emory clambered out. I cast a frantic glance over my shoulder, hearing the intruders tearing through my apartment. My hand instinctively went to my stomach, a fierce protectiveness surging through me.
"Go, go!" I urged, my voice barely above a whisper. "Up and then take the stairs down."
As Emory's feet disappeared above me, I swung one leg out the window. The cool night air hit my face, carrying with it the faint smell of garbage from the alley below.
Just as I was about to pull myself fully out, I noticed someone trying to open the doors to my balcony. If anyone saw us out here, we would all be caught.
"Shit," I muttered, my heart racing. I had to buy Adley and Emory more time.
In a split-second decision, I ducked back inside, grabbing the heaviest object I could find—a ceramic lamp from my bedside table. With a silent prayer, I hurled it at the door.
The hammering at the door paused momentarily. "She's inside!" a gruff voice shouted. I heard footsteps come away from the balcony and the pushing against my bedroom door got fiercer. Adley and Emory would be safe.
I darted to look out the window and saw that the path was clear. Good. By now, they should be on the roof. This is my chance to head up now, while they’re trying to open the goddamn bedroom door.
I scrambled onto the fire escape, my hands trembling as I pulled the window closed behind me. The metal grating swayed slightly under my feet as I turned, my breath coming in short gasps.
Suddenly, the bedroom door burst open with a thunderous crash. I froze, my body pressed against the brick wall of the building.
"Where is she?" someone growled.
I held my breath, willing myself to become invisible. The fire escape creaked softly, and I silently cursed its betrayal. The shock wore off and I realized, I needed to run now.
I grabbed onto the railing, prepared to rush up when a face appeared at the window.