Promise Me This (Chicago Railers Hockey #4)

Chapter 1

Kia

The nausea hits before I’m fully awake.

One second I’m under the covers in my brother’s guest room, staring at the washed-out light seeping around the curtains, and the next my stomach cramps so hard it steals my breath.

“Oh crap,” I whisper, rolling onto my side.

My feet barely find the carpet before I’m rushing into the bathroom. The tile is cold against my bare feet as I drop to my knees, flip the seat up, and—

My body takes over.

The vomiting is harsh and relentless, scraping up everything inside me until I’m shaking. My eyes sting and my throat burns. Even when there’s nothing left, my stomach continues to convulse.

Almost every morning for the past month has started out this way.

If I’m lucky, it’ll pass quickly. Sometimes it drags on for hours, leaving me to feel hollow and wrung out, stranded on the bathroom floor with fear buzzing beneath my skin.

I sag forward, my forehead resting against the cool porcelain as my hair hangs in damp strands along my temples. With my eyes closed, I breathe through my nose, trying to get my body under control.

My guess is that I’m around ten weeks pregnant.

Possibly eleven.

I stopped counting because numbers make it real, and real turns into panic faster than I’m able to manage. A bitter taste coats my tongue as I swallow and blink until the room stops swimming. It’s hard not to feel like the universe is punishing me for being na?ve and trusting the wrong man.

The sound of footsteps padding down the hallway outside my room is enough to turn my blood to ice.

Please, please, please don’t let it be my brother.

I’m not ready to tell Oliver yet. I’ve spent weeks rehearsing the conversation in my head, testing different versions of the truth, but none explain how I let this happen. Or how I ignored all the warning signs when I handed my heart over to a guy who didn’t deserve it.

Here’s what I know: words aren’t going to fix this. But a plan will. Unfortunately, I’m still trying to figure that part out. So, until I have something concrete in place, I’m keeping this secret to myself.

The footsteps pause outside the bathroom door.

Shit.

My muscles brace on instinct.

“Kia?” Rina’s voice drifts through the door. A second later, she steps inside. Her expression fills with sympathy when she finds me on the floor. “Oh, honey.”

The relief that crashes over me is enough to make my shoulders sag.

I hadn’t realized how tense I’d become until this moment.

Rina grabs a clean washcloth from the counter and runs it under the water before crouching beside me.

The gentle way she presses it to my forehead has my eyes burning all over again.

Even though we haven’t known each other long, we’ve bonded over our unexpected pregnancies. The shared understanding, unspoken fears, along with the strange mix of joy and terror that comes when you realize your life is about to change whether you’re ready or not.

Only, she has Oliver.

My brother is protective, loyal, and all in when it comes to this woman.

And I have—

I squeeze my eyes shut and shove the thought away before it can finish forming.

I have myself.

That’s it. And for now, it’ll have to be enough.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

I nod, even though it’s a lie.

Her gaze skims over me, taking in everything I’m trying to hide from the tremor in my hands to the sheen of sweat on my forehead. Without comment, she rinses the cloth and wipes the corner of my mouth before folding and pressing it into my palm.

“Was it any worse today?”

I shrug. “Nah. About the same.”

She lowers herself beside me, her back against the cabinet.

This isn’t the first time we’ve sat like this.

It’s funny. I never thought my brother would settle down.

But he fell hard for the Railers’ PR manager.

And I can see why. Rina has a way of making me feel less alone in all of this.

Her presence has been an unexpected lifeline. One I’m grateful for.

“I should’ve checked on you earlier,” she murmurs.

“It’s not your job to babysit me,” I mutter, swiping my mouth with the back of my hand. My knees ache against the tile. “I’m fine. Really.”

She lifts a brow. “You just threw up like your body’s trying to eject your soul. I’m going to go out on a limb and say you’re not exactly fine.”

A weak laugh slips out.

God, I’m so exhausted.

Exhausted from pretending I can carry all this alone.

And I’m scared.

No. What I am is terrified.

Maybe Collin is right, and I should’ve ended the pregnancy, but the thought never lasted long. How could I do that? How could I choose to get rid of the tiny life already growing inside me?

It doesn’t matter how hard this is going to be or how alone I might feel while facing it. When it comes down to it, there was never a choice to be made. I’m having this baby whether he agrees or not.

The second I saw those two pink lines, a fundamental part of me shifted.

It became protective and stubborn. More than that, this baby became mine.

Rina tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “The doctor’s office called. They had a cancellation, so I booked the appointment.”

My stomach flips, although it has nothing to do with nausea and everything to do with nerves. “Thank you.”

“If you want, we can go together. There’s no reason for you to do this alone.”

“I appreciate that,” I say, forcing out the response. “But I can take care of it myself.”

Rina studies me for a beat, as if she can hear everything I’m not saying.

“We’ll talk about it later. Just know I’m here for you. And when you’re ready to tell your family, they’ll be there too. You’ll see.”

The thought of my mom and brothers finding out sends icy-cold tendrils of fear straight down my spine. “Thanks, but…” My voice dips. “I need to figure out a few things first.”

Like my entire life.

Instead of arguing, Rina rises to her feet and offers me her hand. I take it because my legs are a little unsteady and I’m lightheaded.

“Come on,” she says. “You should lie down for a little bit.”

Once in the bedroom, I lower myself to the edge of the mattress. My stomach is still churning.

Rina lingers near the doorway. “Oh, before I forget.” She reaches into a fancy black shopping bag next to the dresser. “I picked something up for you.”

My brows lift in surprise. “Really?”

I can’t remember the last time someone bought me a gift just because.

“If you like it, you can wear it for Thanksgiving dinner.”

Oh, right… Thanksgiving.

With everything going on, I forgot all about the holiday.

Inside the tissue paper I find a creamy cable-knit sweater dress that’s loose and forgiving. It’s exactly the kind of silhouette that won’t draw attention to what’s hiding beneath it.

“Wow,” I whisper.

“I might’ve grabbed boots too,” she adds, like it’s no big deal.

A surprised laugh escapes from me. “Seriously?”

She shrugs. “I’m an only child and didn’t have a little sister to spoil while growing up. But I do now.”

Emotion surges unexpectedly, and I have to blink away the tears that gather in my eyes.

Pregnancy hormones are the worst.

“Thank you,” I murmur. “This is amazing.”

“Oh, and one more thing—”

When my phone buzzes on the nightstand, dread curls through me before I even glance at the screen. I steal myself, trying to keep any expression off my face.

Unknown number:

Did you take care of it yet?

Cold prickles race across my arms. I left school and came to Chicago to get away from Collin and his constant hounding.

“Kia?”

I don’t bother with a response to the text. My finger shakes as I block the number.

Again.

Even as I do it, I know it won’t stop him. He’ll just text from another burner number. That’s been his MO since he found out I was keeping the baby.

Before the silence can press in enough to suffocate me, my phone chimes with a second message, and I brace for another ugly text.

Instead, I find that I’ve been included in a group chat.

Lilah:

Welcome to the inner circle, Kia. You’re officially in!

Callie:

Just so our roles are clear… I provide the baked goods and they dole out the unsolicited advice.

Sloane:

Unsolicited? Please. Does this mean we need to keep everything PG now?

A startled laugh bursts free, loosening the tight knot of tension in my chest just enough for me to breathe.

Rina squeezes my arm. “I need to leave for work, but try the dress on and let me know if it fits. If you like it, you can wear it Thursday.”

“Oh, um… I was thinking about skipping dinner,” I admit. “I don’t really know anyone.”

A man’s face flashes in my head before I can stop it.

“That’s not true,” she says. “And Evelyn and Hugh are cohosting, so, at the very least, it’ll be entertaining.”

That pulls a reluctant smile from me. “Fine,” I concede. “If the dress fits, I’ll go.”

“Perfect.” With a smile, she slips from the room.

I sit on the edge of the bed with the sweater dress pooled in my lap as my phone buzzes beside me. My stomach flutters with something that isn’t quite nausea.

I tell myself it’s just dinner. A distraction. A chance to get out of my head for a couple of hours and pretend my life isn’t unraveling at the seams.

Deep down, I know that isn’t the real reason my pulse continues to skip.

Beneath the fear and exhaustion, one thought won’t stop circling like a storm cloud I can’t outrun…

Will Laiken Lennox, the man I haven’t been able to stop thinking about, be there?