Chapter 47
47
T essa sat at the edge of the hospital bed, the discharge papers in her trembling hand. Ford sat beside her, the chair pulled close, his body tense. He hadn’t left her side all night.
The antiseptic smell of the room lingered and clung to everything. Thankfully, the knife wound on her face was superficial, the swelling around her eye already receding. The bruises would fade, and physically, all would be right in the world.
Except …
Except for the trauma. The violence. The memories roared back and replayed every time she closed her eyes. She saw Malina’s cruel smile, heard the deafening crack of the gun as Damien and Marty fell, smelled the metallic tang of blood and the sour vinegary scent of fear. It was going to take some time for that to go away.
Ford had slept in the uncomfortable vinyl chair next to her bed so she would feel safe.
And she did feel safe. Here and with Ford. But safety was an illusion.
The image of how callously Malina—she would never call her Simone again—shot Marty and Damien and didn’t blink an eye scared her. She had never experienced that kind of violence before.
Ford said it would take a while to process it.
But would she ever feel safe without his strong presence? She glanced at him, guilt creeping in. He deserved someone stronger, someone who wouldn’t flinch or duck when they heard a strange noise.
“You’ve never dealt with this kind of violence before,” he said gently. “That’s a good thing, but it would bother anyone. A good therapist can help you make sense of it all.”
It hadn’t bothered him as much, since being in the military had dulled the shock for him, so he said. For her, it was a turning point, a divide between the life she had known and her new world.
Today, after she was released, they were heading to his cabin on the campus. Away from the noise and memories.
Tessa needed to be surrounded by woods and the stillness of nature.
“Ready?” Ford’s voice pulled her back to the present. He stood at the foot of the bed, holding a bundle of clothes Emelia had brought from her apartment.
Tessa nodded. She wasn’t sure she was ready, but for now, just leaving the hospital was a good first step.
Ford watched as Tessa slid off the bed, her movements careful. She was fragile right now, and it wasn’t because of her physical injuries.
He handed her the clothes Emelia had brought over. Her hands shook when she took them. She jumped at small noises from the hall and tried not to let him know she was afraid, but he knew better.
Ford had seen fear before. Hell, he’d lived it through the combat zone and missions gone sideways.
This wasn’t just fear. It was a loss of control, a betrayal, realizing the world wasn’t as safe as she thought.
He was furious that even though Malina was dead, the damage she’d done to Tessa wouldn’t be so easily erased. It would take time and patience to feel like herself again.
Tessa got dressed in the tiny bathroom while Ford gathered her discharge papers and the clothes she arrived in. Sleeping in the vinyl chair was uncomfortable, but he’d slept in worse places. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, leave her alone.
She emerged wearing a pair of leggings and a top, her face pale and exhausted.
“Come on, sweetheart. The nurse will be here with a wheelchair. I’ll get the truck, and we’ll blow this joint. Sound good?”
She gave him a small nod. When he pulled her in for a hug, she melted in his arms, and he held her until the nurse knocked at the door, indicating she was ready to transport Tessa to the front door.
The drive to the cabin was quiet, the silence filled only by the hum of the engine. Tessa stared out the window and said little. Her thoughts were racing.
The sun was high in the sky, the sky was brilliant blue, and tree branches swayed in the breeze. It should have been calming, but she was far from calm. She felt detached, like the world was happening to someone else.
She snuck a look at Ford. He hadn’t said much, but she could feel his concern radiating off him.
A single tear dripped down her cheek, and she quickly wiped it away. He didn’t deserve the woman she’d become. The broken woman who feared life, who flinched at every sound. She doubted her own strength.
She intended to ask him to take her back to her apartment and to continue living his life without her holding him back, but she couldn’t find the words.
When they arrived at his cabin on the campus, he cut the engine and turned to her. “Let’s get you inside,” he said gently.
She stared at the cabin and nodded. It looked so peaceful. But peace and safety were an illusion that could be broken at any time.
Tessa sighed. He helped her out of the truck and onto the front porch.
Inside, the cabin was bright and sunny. The warmth enveloped her like a comforting blanket, and she took a deep breath. He led her to the couch and sat beside her.
“It’s one day at a time, sweetheart,” he said softly as he put his arm around her shoulder. “Try not to be so hard on yourself. You get stuck in the past, and that’s not where you belong. I know it’ll be hard, but you’re stronger than you think.”
Tessa rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes. The storm inside her hadn’t quieted yet, but with Ford beside her and the warmth surrounding her, for now, that was enough.