Protecting the Boundary (LA Wolves #8)

Chapter 28

TWENTY-EIGHT

The second Romel leaves for guys’ night, I feel my body relax. He hasn’t mentioned our kiss again and neither have I. What is there really to talk about anyway? Knowing the man you’ve been falling for thinks kissing you was a mistake is next level humiliating, and I’d rather not drag the awkwardness out if possible.

I put the finishing touches on Kay’s toes, and she wiggles them and squeals with pure joy. Thank God for quick-dry nail polish.

“Alright, next on the girls’ night checklist is face masks.”

“Yay!” she squeals although I don’t know if she even understands what a face mask really is. I did some research when I got home last night and found a recipe for a homemade cucumber aloe face mask that’s supposed to be great for sensitive skin and had simple ingredients so it was safe for Kaylee to put on her face. The last thing I wanted to do was accidentally buy one that gave her a rash or something and ruined the experience for her.

I grab the mask mix that I whipped up earlier today and start by putting a blob on her nose. She giggles, and the sound brings a smile to my face.

God, I love this girl so much. She’s such a ray of sunshine when everything feels like a mess. Even though I had a moment of jealousy of Sydney, right now all I feel is sadness that she’ll never get to see the incredible kid she created. She brought this beautiful gift into the world and doesn’t even get to enjoy her and watch her grow. It’s the greatest travesty of losing a parent at such a young age.

I remember wanting to always do things like this with my mom, especially when I was around ten and my friends would tell me about the fun mother-daughter things they’d do. I don’t want Kay to miss out on any of those things, so I’ll give her as many memories as I can while I’m in her life.

Once I’ve got the mask spread in an even layer on her forehead, nose, cheeks, and chin, I do the same to myself. We run to the bathroom and laugh at how silly we look.

I even snap a few pics of us and debate sending one of them to Romel, but decide against it. He’s probably busy with his friends anyway. I tuck my phone into my back pocket, and then after a few minutes, we rinse off our faces.

“Gorgeous!” I say to our clean faces in the reflection in the mirror.

“Gorgeous!” she mimics.

“Okay, now it’s time for popcorn and a movie.What do you think we should watch?”

She shouts the name of her current favorite movie and grabs my hand to pull me out to the living room. I get it started on the TV before I go to the kitchen to make the popcorn.

Despite her energy when we were doing face masks, she only makes it halfway through the movie before her eyes start getting droopy with sleep.

“You gettin’ sleepy, KayBear? ”

“No,” she murmurs, half asleep.

I chuckle and hit pause on the remote. “Let’s go read a couple of stories before bed.”

The fact she doesn’t fight me on it only confirms how exhausted she is. We go through her bedtime routine—putting on her pj’s, brushing her teeth, and then getting into bed for story time.

The first story she picks out isn’t one I’ve read before, and immediately my heart feels like it tugs in my chest. It’s about a mama bear and her cub. The rhymes are simple and sweet, but still, my voice gets throaty as the sentiment under the words hits me right in the chest.

“Miss Mere?” Kay whispers, snuggling closer to me.

“Yeah, KayBear?”

“I wish you were my mommy.”

My nose burns as tears fill my eyes. I put the book down and wrap my arm around her shoulders, holding her tight. I don’t tell her that she feels like mine, and that being her mommy would be the greatest title I’d ever have because I won’t get her hopes up for something that will never happen, even if we both wish it could. I could never replace Sydney, but I could honor her memory by loving her family.

I pick the book back up and finish the story, fighting back tears the entire time. I read her one more after that before she falls sleep and I extricate myself from her bed. I brush a loose curl away from her face. She has no idea all the hard days in her future without her mom—the days when she’ll miss her so fiercely because she’ll ache to know simply what it would be like to have one. I wish I could save her from all those days, that I could hold her hand when she misses her mom and tell her how proud Sydney would be. I press a kiss to her forehead, make sure her night-light is on, and then leave the room, closing the door behind me.

I’m picking up the living room and putting things away when the garage door opens.

Shit. Why is he back so soon? I thought I had at least another hour so I could get the house clean and be ready to walk out the door as soon as he got home. Things are going to be so awkward without Kaylee awake to ease some of the tension.

I’m about to throw the last few remaining toys in the toy bin in the living room when he walks in. Taking a breath, I stand up and face him.

“Hey,” I say.

“Hey,” he says back, dropping his keys on the counter and taking off his coat.

“I was just picking up. I’m almost done.”

“Okay.” He stands there, staring at me, and that familiar tension that always seems to arc between us flares up once again.

Dammit. It’s too soon for me to be alone with him after what he said to me. I’ve never been called a mistake before, and I’d like to avoid reliving the memory for as long as possible.

I toss the handful of toys left into the bin and then look around the room. It’s all clean and nothing’s been left out. I already put our popcorn bowl in the dishwasher.

“I think I’m all done here. Have a good night,” I say with as much fake cheer as I can muster and then rush out the patio door.

He calls my name, but I don’t look back. I can’t. Not tonight. I’m too weak after Kaylee told me she wished I was her mom. I can’t deal with Romel’s emotional issues on top of my own.

But I forget that he’s an athlete who works out and can run faster than I can. He catches up to me before I can escape into the safety of the guesthouse.

“Meredith.” He says my name like a plea at my back, and I close my eyes, already knowing I’m going to give in and turn around, even if I know what he’s about to say will probably only add to the hurt I feel.

I turn around, internally bracing myself for pain. He closes the space between us, his gaze fierce on mine. “I’m an idiot and that kiss wasn’t a mistake. Nothing about you could ever be a mistake.”

And then before I have a chance to respond, he kisses me like a man who’s been starved of affection his entire life and this kiss is the only thing that will save him from eternal misery.