Chapter 30
THIRTY
A week later, I’m putting away the peanut butter and jelly while Kay eats half the sandwich I just made when the front door opens and her grandma walks in.
Larissa greets me with a huge smile and then wraps her arms around me in a hug, even as I stand there wondering if this is awkward. I’m the nanny she hired to watch her granddaughter, not secretly kiss her son-in-law.
“Hey,” I say, trying not to be surprised that she’s here.
She pulls back with a knowing twinkle in her eye that has me immediately on alert. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’m stealing my granddaughter for the day.” And then lower so Kaylee won’t hear. “I think you’re about to have other plans anyway.” She gives me a wink, and I start to wonder if I’ve entered an alternate reality.
Romel didn’t seriously tell his mother-in-law that he and I were…well, whatever we’re doing, did he?
But I get my answer when he comes down the stairs with a smile on his face. He kisses Larissa’s cheek and thanks her for coming.
“Meredith, can I chat with you in the other room for a sec?”
“Sure,” I tell him, knowing if he set this up on purpose, he doesn’t want Kay to know what’s going on. We’ve agreed to keep this quiet and between just us for now. Although apparently “just us” now includes Larissa.
We walk to another room far enough away that we won’t be overheard. He rubs his hands together in front of him like he’s a bit nervous and then says, “Do you want to go out with me today? I thought we could grab a bite to eat and then maybe go to a movie or something.”
“A meal and a movie? That’s a very old-school date.”
He looks a little embarrassed. “It’s been a long time since I’ve dated, so I’m not really sure what’s standard procedure here.”
“You got Larissa to take Kay out so we could go on a date.” It’s not really a question because that’s obviously what’s going on here, but he acts like it’s one.
“Yeah, I knew if they stayed around here, then Kay would wonder why we were both gone, and I’d rather not lie to my daughter.”
“Unless it’s a lie of omission.”
“Not telling her about us isn’t a lie of omission; it’s just keeping this private since it’s new and I don’t want to get her hopes up in case…”
I get it. “Okay, let me go get changed and I’ll be ready to go.”
His shoulders sag with relief and he nods once. I dart back out to the kitchen to say bye to Kaylee and then head back to the guesthouse to change and get ready. Since he’s wearing jeans and is dressed fairly casually, I decide to go casual too. Once I’m changed into my favorite pair of skinny jeans and a cute top I bought the last time I went out with Addy, I head back to the main house to find it silent.
It’s crazy how different the house feels when Kaylee isn’t here.
Romel is pacing back and forth in the den, and I bite back a smile at how nervous he looks. I know it’s been at least three years since he last went on a date—assuming he took Sydney out on dates until she was too sick to enjoy them. But dating your wife is very different from dating someone new.
I wonder how weird this is for him—dating someone new after thinking he was going to be with Sydney for the rest of his life.
He stops his pacing as he catches sight of me, and all thoughts of his past with Sydney evaporate as he smiles at me—the same smile that causes a slight dimple to form in his cheek. Butterflies cause a flurry in my stomach as I try to catch my breath and slow my heart’s reaction to him.
“Ready?” he asks.
“Yep.” I’m definitely ready to take this next step and see if he can drop his walls enough to let me in.
I’m cautiously optimistic, but I’m also the daughter of a man who could never let go enough to let anyone else stand by his side.
My dad always saw someone else as a replacement—which he said was impossible, and to an extent I agree. I don’t think the person that comes after you lose a loved one is a replacement. That makes them sound like a stand-in for the person you lost, which they’re not. I think they’re someone new for the new you that was created from the loss you experienced. They take the place by your side as an equal and act as the glue to your heart.
In other words, I have no desire to replace Sydney. I could never live up to that pressure. But I can heal the hurts her family has experienced and hold their hands as we move into this next phase of life. I can love them like they deserve and still honor her memory.
Or I can, if Romel will open up his heart enough to realize it’s big enough to love both Sydney and me.
He takes me to a taco stand off the beach. “Ty found this place when Lexi was craving Mexican food and told us all about it. Gabe came with his sisters to try it out and gave his seal of approval, although no tamale compares to Mama Romero’s.” His eyes roll to the back of his head as he lets out a groan. “They’re seriously the best tamales I’ve had in my life.”
“Well, now you’re just making me jealous.”
He bumps me with his shoulder. “Well, if you’re lucky maybe I’ll convince Gabe to ask his mom for some to share with you.”
I push up on my tiptoes, putting us almost nose to nose, and my heartbeat speeds up at the heat in his eyes. “I’m a pretty lucky girl, so I think my odds are good.”
And then I drop down before I’m too tempted to kiss him. He lets out a huff of breath and then a deep chuckle as he shakes his head and watches me with a sexy grin on his face.
We get our order and move to one of the picnic benches. It’s probably a little too cold to eat outside, but we both brought jackets, so we decide to rough it. The benefit of it being so chilly is that not very many people are eating around us.
“Do you ever get recognized when you’re out in public?”
He swallows his bite. “Sometimes. More often if I’m at a bar or restaurant where there might be fans, but just running my day-to-day errands, not very often. If the other guys from the Fierce Four are ever with me, then we always inevitably run into fans who want pictures with us. We love our fans—they’re the best in the league—but it’s one of the reasons we started having game nights at each other’s houses. We try to rotate to keep it balanced, although it’s always Ty who brings the game, but it’s the one time we can all let loose and just have fun without really worrying about other people snapping our picture or coming over to ask for autographs.”
I set down my taco, my brows furrowed as I think about a new concern. “Do you ever worry about someone snapping Kay’s picture?”
His gaze softens at my worry for his daughter, but it shouldn’t surprise him, especially after he saw me have a complete meltdown over her well-being last week. “Not usually. They’re more worried about the other guys. They like drama. A single dad who’s just hanging out with his daughter doesn’t really sell papers.”
I don’t know about that. I’d buy the hell out of a magazine watching this man dote on his daughter. He’s hot, and watching him be such an amazing dad with Kay is panty-melting levels of sexy. Clearly the media doesn’t know what women want because every woman I know would be drooling over those types of pictures.
“Being out with my nanny might raise a few eyebrows,” he adds before he takes another bite of his taco.
I glance around us, expecting to find cameras or cellphones pointed our direction, but there’s only one other couple eating at a table across from us and they’re deep in conversation.
“Maybe we shouldn’t be out in public.”
He frowns. “How am I supposed to take you on dates if we can’t do it in public?” He leans forward. “Mere, I’m not putting my life on hold because of the potential that we become media fodder for a week. I have a strong enough reputation and I know we aren’t doing anything wrong. The only person I’m worried about is Kaylee, which is the only reason we’re keeping this mostly under wraps. ”
We both take another bite and then he asks, “What did you go to school for?”
“Kinesiology. I wanted to be a physical therapist.”
“ Wanted ? As in, you don’t anymore?”
I shrug and pick at the meat that fell out of my taco. “I do. I think I just got too in my head about things and lost sight of why I loved it in the first place. My last year of college, I was hit with this horrible apathy. Nothing seemed to have any point, and I questioned my entire future. It’s why I didn’t apply to grad schools and instead looked into becoming a nanny. I needed to do something . I’m not very good at sitting and doing nothing.”
He smiles. “I’ve noticed that about you.”
“I miss it,” I confess. It’s probably stupid to tell him that when he’s still technically my boss, but it also feels nice to tell someone. It wasn’t as noticeable when I first started being a nanny for Kay, but that desire to learn, that interest in how the human body works and how to help it heal has come back slowly. It’s gotten even stronger since Kaylee got sick. I may not want to be an ER doctor, but I do still have the desire to help people heal from injuries or find renewed strength in their body.
“I loved learning about the human body and was excited about going into physical therapy and helping people. I’d forgotten how much I loved that feeling because it was completely gone during most of my senior year.”
“You could go to grad school next year, couldn’t you?”
“Yeah, but that would mean leaving Kay now and I’m not sure I can do that. Your daughter is entirely too easy to love.”
He smiles wide. “Agreed.” Then his face gets more serious. “She’d understand, though. And it’s not like we wouldn’t still see you.”
It’s the first time he’s implied there’s a long-term future here, and it’s giving me a stupid amount of hope. “Really?”
He must hear the underlying question because he’s very serious when he responds. “I’m not a casual dating kind of guy, Meredith.”
“Good to know.”
“And you?” he asks, and he actually looks nervous for my answer. Does he really not see how hard I’ve already fallen for him? I suppose that might be a good thing because it might be embarrassing if he realized.
“I’m not a casual kind of girl either. I’ve only had three serious relationships, one in high school and two in college. The longest one was almost two years, although I knew after a year that we probably weren’t right for each other. But it was during senior year and I think I stayed with him because I knew what to expect from him. It didn’t shake anything up.”
“When did you guys break up?”
“A few months ago. Shortly before I started nannying for you.”
He nods and then frowns. “Does that make me a rebound?”
I nearly choke on my soda. “No. But shouldn’t I be asking you that question?”
Based on the look he gets on his face, I suspect his cheeks would be a deep pink if his skin wasn’t dark enough to hide his blush.
But then he speaks, and once again he makes my heart race with possibilities. “You’re not a rebound.”
“Good to know.”
Our conversation gets lighter as we talk about our childhoods, mine here in LA and his up in Washington. He grew up in Tacoma, a city south of Seattle, and his parents still live there. I learn more about him on this date than I have in the several months I’ve been working for him.
And everything I learn only makes my feelings for him grow deeper.
But one doubt still remains, and I don’t think about it until we get back to the house later that night after Kaylee goes to bed. We walk in the front door, and like he does every day, he puts down his keys and then looks at the picture of Sydney he has hanging on the wall.
And despite our incredible date where I felt like we got closer to each other, I know we have a long road to travel for him to let Sydney go enough to be able to love me too.