Chapter 33
THIRTY-THREE
The next morning, Meredith walks into the kitchen while I’m making breakfast. Kaylee is in the other room watching cartoons, and I can’t help myself. I grab Meredith’s hand and pull her into the pantry, closing the door behind us and kissing her before it’s even closed all the way. My fingers twine in her hair, and I seal my mouth over hers, desperate to kiss her, to connect with her this way.
She moans and her body melts against mine. My cock grows hard as she slides her tongue against mine, deepening the kiss.
I can’t get enough of her. I want to kiss and lick her tits and feel her pussy tighten around my fingers. I can’t even let myself think about how amazing she’s going to feel on my cock or else I’ll take her right here.
A sound outside the pantry door alerts me, and I break our kiss just as the door opens. Kaylee stands on the other side, her gaze darting between Meredith and me.
“What’re you doing?”
I grab the nearest thing on the shelf as an excuse. “Just grabbing this and talking to Miss Mere about something.”
Kay’s face lights up. “Cake! ”
I look at the box in my hand and then at Meredith who’s nibbling her lips, fighting back a smile. Sure enough, out of all the things for me to grab from this shelf, I grabbed the box of Funfetti cake mix I bought on a whim.
I shake my head at Meredith, who loses her battle with holding on to her laughter and lets out a little laugh. “Well, looks like we’re making cake for breakfast,” I say, giving in to my own smile.
Her eyes shine as she smiles wider. “Sounds delicious.”
I’d rather have her for breakfast. I’m becoming a little obsessed with the taste of her, the feel of her body against mine, the way her thighs shake when she comes.
This woman is turning me into a sex addict—and we haven’t even had full-on sex yet.
Meredith is clearly not nearly as obsessed with me as I am with her because she turns to my daughter and asks her to go into the kitchen and get a bowl to mix everything.
“Okay!” Kay shouts and then races away.
I grab Meredith’s hand, stopping her before she can follow Kay. “Sorry.”
She tilts her head like she doesn’t understand why I’m apologizing. “For having to keep this a secret,” I clarify.
She shakes her head. “I get it, Romel. I don’t want to get Kaylee’s hopes up just in case you decide this isn’t something you’re ready for.”
My gut tightens. “What if you’re the one who decides this isn’t something you want?”
Her brown eyes seem to stare into my soul. “If you really think I would ever feel that way then you haven’t been paying attention.”
She keeps her words low, but they have the impact as if she’s screamed them. I’m left reeling in the pantry while she grabs the box of cake mix out of my hand and works with Kay in the kitchen. I push the door wider so I can see them and watch their interaction.
It’s not the first time I’ve watched them together, but it hits different now that Meredith and I are…well, whatever we are.
I don’t like the idea of minimizing what she is by thinking this is just physical when it’s not.
Meredith makes me feel alive. She makes the days brighter and easier. She makes my daughter happy. She makes me happy. She’s everything we didn’t know we needed, and I’m scared out of my mind of losing her now that she’s become such an integral part of my daily happiness.
I step out of the pantry, and we spend the morning making cake and a healthy breakfast of scrambled eggs. Despite Meredith being here for the past few months, it’s the first morning where I feel so in sync with her, like we’re a real partnership. We could have this every morning.
My gaze catches on one of the pictures of Sydney across the room, and I wonder what she would think about me moving on. Would she be as okay with it as everyone says she would be?
A sensation tickles the back of my neck, and I turn my gaze right as Meredith looks down at the cake she’s frosting. She smiles at Kay, but it doesn’t reach her eyes the way her smiles did earlier.
She’s made it clear we’ll take this at my pace, but what if my pace ends up being too slow? What if I can’t let go of the way my wife’s memory haunts me to let Meredith into my heart the way I know she deserves?