Chapter 23
23
Ryan
I made my way down the hall of my dad’s condo. The night before had been a mess. Between consoling Morgan, worrying about Court, and trying to piece together everything that had happened at the cabin, sleep had been impossible.
Quietly, I knocked on the guest room door and peeked inside to check on my sister when there was no answer. Even though she was asleep, curled up under a pile of blankets, her forehead was still wrinkled with tension, and there were tracks of tears down her cheeks. I shut the door and continued to the kitchen, where Declan was sipping coffee and scrolling on his phone.
“Your dad is in the shower, but he should be done soon and ready to help look for Court,” he said, looking up at me. “Did you sleep okay last night?”
“Not really,” I admitted. “And I think I’m going to go home and change first.” I was wearing a T-shirt and sweats I’d borrowed from my father after taking a quick shower once we got back to his place. I also wanted to check my laptop to see if Court’s phone number had been saved in my contacts there. “Plus, I need a minute to get my head on straight. Can I use your phone again to order a ride?”
“Just take my car. The keys are by the door.”
“Thanks.” I gave him a small smile. “I won’t be long.”
He shrugged. “Whenever is fine. I plan on staying here all day, so I won’t need it. But are you sure you don’t want some breakfast before you go? You didn’t have anything last night either.”
“I’ll eat something at home.” At the door, I slipped on my shoes and grabbed Declan’s keys. “Can you tell Dad I’ll be back soon?”
He nodded, and I left.
My mind was all over the place as I drove home. Every thought revolved around one person—Court. Where was he? Was he okay? Had he been arrested? The questions wouldn’t stop, and I was desperate to find the answers.
When I arrived at my apartment, I headed straight to my bedroom, tugged off the outfit I’d borrowed, before changing into a fresh T-shirt and jeans. Once I was dressed, I picked up my laptop from my dresser and went to the living room.
I’d barely settled on the couch when a knock at the door startled me.
I checked the peephole, and my breath caught when I saw who was on the other side.
When I swung the door open, Court stood there looking pale and exhausted but alive. A bandage covered the side of his head, and a deep purple bruise peeked out around the edges.
“Hey,” he greeted softly, his voice a little hoarse.
Before I could stop myself, I stepped forward and threw my arms around him. He let out a sharp grunt, and I pulled back immediately.
“Shit, I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” he muttered, though the grimace on his face told a different story. “Just a flesh wound.”
“It’s not fine.” I closed the door behind us. “You were shot.”
“Bullet just grazed my shoulder,” he explained, sitting on the couch. “And the doctors said I have a mild concussion, but I’ll live.”
I sat down and turned toward him, my chest tightening. “You got hurt protecting me. You almost?—”
“Hey.” He squeezed my thigh. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat. You mean too much to me to let anything happen to you.”
The words hit me hard, and I swallowed against the lump in my throat. “You really mean that?”
“Yeah.” He smiled softly.
“You mean a lot to me too,” I admitted. “I hated not knowing what was happening with you.”
He shifted slightly and reached into his pocket. “I felt the same way when I couldn’t get a hold of you,” he said, pulling out my phone. “But then I found this in my Durango this morning.”
“Thanks.” I took it from him. “I needed this last night. I tried calling every hospital in the area to find you, but no one had any record of you, and I couldn’t remember your number. Were you at the hospital all night?”
He nodded. “I was, but the cops put a restriction on my information being released. It’s … protocol.”
“Protocol?” I repeated, tilting my head. “What kind of protocol?”
“It’s just a thing they do,” he replied. “But I’m more concerned about you. You weren’t injured, were you?”
I shook my head. “No. The cops took Morgan and me to the station for questioning. I called my dad so I’d have a lawyer present, and then he drove us home. We all stayed at his place because Morgan’s a mess.”
“I can imagine. She must be devastated about Donnie.”
“She hasn’t said much, and I’m not sure everything has sunk in yet. Did you hear the guy who shot you and Donnie was Joseph Hughes? Supposedly he and Donnie are connected.”
“I knew he was.” Court’s eyes became huge at his own confession.
“What do you mean you knew he was connected?”
“Shit,” he groaned and stood. He began to pace.
“How did you know about Hughes before me?” I probed some more.
Court took a deep breath and turned to me. “I didn’t want you to find out this way.”
“What are you talking about?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m undercover.”
Confused, I tilted my head. “What?”
“I work in the narcotics division with Boston PD. I’ve been undercover trying to take down Donnie’s drug operation.”
“Donnie’s drug operation? What in the fuck are you talking about?”
“I got a tip at the beginning of July about him dealing drugs and using the club as a front. I’ve been working there ever since to build a case.”
I was back to feeling as though nothing made sense, and I could feel my anger simmering under the surface. “So, after I told you a few times that I thought something was up with Donnie, you didn’t say anything? My sister has been spending all of her time with him. You knew he was dangerous, but it never crossed your mind to warn me?”
“I couldn’t. If I’d told you, I would’ve blown my cover.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “You have no idea how much it killed me to see Morgan in that situation and not be able to do anything. To not arrest Donnie on the spot multiple times for dealing drugs.”
“She overdosed when she was with him. She could’ve died!” I snapped. “You let her stay in danger because of a case?”
“I did everything I could to protect her without jeopardizing the investigation. I’m sorry. I hated every second of not being able to tell you.” He sounded sincere, but I was too upset to accept his apology.
“Yeah, well, that makes two of us.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
“You have every right to be angry. I get it. But I need you to understand that I’m trying to take down an entire drug ring, not just Donnie. If I’d warned you, I would’ve been putting everyone at risk. Including you.”
Logically, I understood how serious the situation was, but it didn’t make his lies hurt any less. And then another thought hit me. “Wait, was dating me part of your undercover shit?”
“No,” he responded a little too quickly, and I quirked a brow. He sighed. “Okay, at first, yeah. That’s why I agreed when Morgan set us up. But it didn’t take long for me to want to spend time with you unrelated to the case.”
I stared at him, my emotions warring. Part of me wanted to believe him, but the feeling of betrayal was too much to deal with after all that went down the day before. “Wow, it feels like I don’t know anything about you at all. Is your name even Courtland?”
He grimaced. “Yes, but my last name is Wilder, not West.”
I looked down at my lap. “I think I need time to think about everything. Yesterday, I thought … Well, it doesn’t matter what I thought. Right now, I’m not sure what’s real and what’s not, and learning you used me, hurts.”
“I can give you time.” He stepped forward and crouched in front of me, placing his hands on my knees. “But I promise you, everything between us that matters—our talks, those moments where it was just us—all of it was real. I …” He cleared his throat.
I closed my eyes, struggling to hold back the tears threatening to break free. “You what?”
“Nothing. Just know I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“But you did, and I don’t know how to handle that.”
He stroked my cheek with his thumb. “I understand. My part in this case should get wrapped up tomorrow morning. Maybe when it’s over, we can figure things out.”
I shrugged, unwilling to commit to his timeframe.
Court lingered for a moment, like he wanted to say something else, but then he stood and walked to the door. “I’ll prove to you that my feelings are real. I promise you that.”
As I heard the door open and shut, it felt like he’d taken a piece of my heart with him, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever get it back.