Chapter 25
25
Ryan
I didn’t have the words to describe how messed up my head was. After Court left my apartment three days ago, I’d spent at least an hour sitting on my couch, replaying every part of our conversation. Not only had I been feeling hurt and angry from his admission, I’d spent an equal amount of time worried for his safety since he was trying to take down an entire drug ring.
Eventually, I remembered to text my dad and let him know I didn’t need his help finding Court. I’d kept the explanation vague, promising to fill him in later because I didn’t have the mental or emotional energy to rehash everything right then.
Over the past few days, I’d been working from home while frequently checking on my sister, who was still staying with our dad and Declan. Going into the office wasn’t an option because there was no way I could sit in meetings or smile at clients like my personal life wasn’t a complete shit show. Thankfully, my boss was understanding when I explained about the shootings.
Three days ago, Court texted me asking if we could talk. I was tempted to give in, but the knot in my chest hadn’t eased since he had admitted things between us had started as a lie. I wasn’t sure if I was angry, heartbroken, or some combination of both, but I didn’t think I was strong enough to face him yet.
My phone buzzed on the coffee table, pulling me from my jumbled thoughts.
Dad: Family dinner at 7?
I stared at the message for a moment before replying. Normally, our dinners were a chance for us to catch up with each other and unwind, but after everything we’d been through the last few days, I wasn’t expecting the occasion to be as carefree as usual. Even so, as much as I wanted to wallow in private, I knew I needed to be there for my sister. Besides, my father, like most parents, worried about us even as we got older, and I could only assume he was shaken by what had gone down at the cabin.
I’ll be there
When I arrived at my father’s place, I saw a Secret Service agent outside the building, and another two on Dad’s floor. I assumed they were there because Faye had come for dinner, but when I walked inside, I saw Aunt Mary sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in her hands. Fallon and Rhett sat next to her. Their expressions morphed into a mix of concern and relief when they saw me walk in.
“Ryan.” Aunt Mary stood, crossing the room to hug me. “How are you doing, sweetie?”
Her face was etched in worry, and I could only imagine that hearing about what had happened to Morgan and me had brought up difficult memories from when her son had been shot.
“I’m okay.” I gave her a tight squeeze.
Once she let go, Fallon stood and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “It’s good to see you, man. You dad was filling us in on what the police told him, and I still can’t wrap my head around it.”
“You and me both,” I muttered, before nodding at Rhett, who greeted me with a fist bump.
“Do you want anything to drink?” Dad asked from where he sat on the loveseat with Declan.
“Water would be great,” I replied.
“I’ll get it.” Declan stood and headed for the kitchen. “I need to check on the food anyway.”
Aunt Mary motioned for me to sit in the chair beside the couch where she was.
“I wasn’t expecting you to be here,” I admitted as I made myself comfortable.
She smiled at me. “I needed to see for myself that you and Morgan were both okay. We’ve gotten some updates from both the Secret Service and the FBI, but it’s not the same as seeing you in person.”
“It has definitely been … a lot.” I sighed. “Where is Morgan, by the way?”
“She and Faye are in the guest room,” Dad replied.
Declan came back and handed me a bottle of water. “Dinner should be ready in about thirty minutes.”
“Thanks.” I twisted the cap off and took a large drink.
“We were just comparing notes about the case before you got here,” Dad explained to me then turned to Aunt Mary. “Does the FBI or Secret Service have any leads on what Joseph planned to do or why he was meeting up with Donnie?”
I understood why that was the part everyone was focused on because it was strange how all the various relationships intertwined, but I hadn’t given it much thought because I was too consumed with what Court had told me.
Aunt Mary shook her head. “Nothing yet. Their best guess is he was there to get a car and maybe some cash before setting off for his next location. But since they’re both … deceased, I doubt the authorities will ever get answers.”
Declan rested his arm on the cushion behind Dad. “I just wish someone could tell us if they think Morgan was some sort of pawn in this game of theirs.”
Fallon leaned forward. “You think Donnie knew who Morgan was and that’s why he started dating her? Could Joseph have set it up?”
Dad took a sip from his glass of Macallan. “Who knows? It’s possible.”
“I don’t think so,” I began. “I think Joseph being connected to Donnie was purely coincidental when it came to Donnie dating Morgan. Joseph had nothing to gain from Morgan.” Whatever we came up with was speculation, but we had nothing else to go on. “But I wouldn’t be surprised if Donnie was using her. She does party with a lot of celebrities and socialites, and he could have seen her friends and acquaintances as a way to expand his business.”
Fallon tilted his head. “His business? You mean his club?”
I took another drink of my water. “No. From what I just found out, Donnie was running some sort of drug ring.”
“I’m sorry, what?” We all turned to see Morgan standing in the doorway, Faye close behind. “Donnie was dealing drugs? There’s no way.”
Dad scooted over to make room for her next to him. “How about you sit down?—”
“No.” She shook her head, her gaze locked on me. “Why are you lying about Donnie?”
“I’m not.” My voice softened, and my heart ached for her because I knew it was going to be hard for her to learn the truth. “I can understand why you don’t want to believe me, but Court has no reason to lie about what was going on.” He may have hidden his true identity from me, but I absolutely believed what he’d told me about the investigation. Especially because I’d always felt something was off about Donnie.
“Court?” Rhett balked. “He’s involved too?”
I nodded. “Yeah. He’s a cop with Boston PD’s narcotics unit, and was undercover investigating Donnie the entire time I’ve known him. He told me all about it when he came over to my apartment the morning after the shootings.”
The room fell silent.
Since Court had already finished his bust, there wasn’t a sting to mess up by sharing what was going on. Besides, I was in a room with three lawyers, a Secret Service agent, and the first lady of the United States. I didn’t think any of them would be in a hurry to broadcast the information I was sharing.
Dad was the first to break the silence. “I don’t even know what to say. This whole thing is wild.”
That was an understatement.
Morgan began crying as she sank onto the arm of the couch. “I can’t believe this. God, I’m so stupid.”
“Sweetie, you’re not stupid,” Dad said. “Criminals are good at hiding who they are. Trust me, I’ve seen it more times than I can count in my line of work. Heck, I never suspected he was up to something.”
Faye wrapped an arm around Morgan’s shoulders. “We might never know what he was really up to, but if he was lying to you, that’s on him, not you.”
A timer went off on Declan’s phone and he stood. “Not the best timing, but I need to sort out the food.”
As soon as he walked out of the room, Aunt Mary stood and went over to my sister. “Let’s get you cleaned up before dinner.”
Faye and Morgan followed her down the hall, leaving me with my father, Fallon, and Rhett.
Dad turned to me. “Now tell me how you’re feeling about everything.”
I wrinkled my forehead in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“You act like I don’t know you, but I could tell you were holding back because Morgan was upset. It had to be quite a shock to learn the guy you were dating wasn’t who he claimed to be.”
Sometimes it sucked he could read me so well, but, at the same time, I was grateful for a chance to talk about things with people who cared about me. “Yeah. And that’s not the worst part.” I took a breath. “He admitted that dating me was part of his undercover work at first.”
Fallon winced. “Ouch.”
“You could say that again.” I let out a humorless chuckle. “He claims it started out that way but supposedly his feelings changed. I just don’t know what to believe, but I gotta say Morgan isn’t the only one feeling stupid right now.”
Rhett looked at me. “You have every right to be upset, but you said he told you about being undercover before the bust, right?”
I nodded, not sure where he was going with his question.
“Well, as someone who understands how those things work, he was risking a lot by coming clean before his investigation was over,” he continued. “Maybe that was his way of proving to you that he cared.”
I swallowed hard, his words sinking in. “I thought I was falling in love with him,” I admitted quietly. “But he shattered my trust. I don’t know how we come back from that.”
“Ryan.” Dad threw back the last bit of his whisky. “People don’t put themselves in danger for someone they don’t have real feelings for. He literally took a bullet for you.”
“Love isn’t always easy,” Fallon added. “And sometimes people mess up. Just don’t let your fears keep you from seeing what’s right in front of you.”
He had a point, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to forgive everything just yet.
Later that night, I was back at my apartment, staring at the ceiling as I lay in bed. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Rhett had said earlier. Maybe Court had developed real feelings for me as we got to know each other. But was that enough to move past the fact he hadn’t started dating me because he was actually interested? Would I ever be able to get over how things started?
Grabbing my phone, I hesitated for a moment, knowing I was likely opening a line of communication I wasn’t sure I was ready for. Still, I couldn’t stop myself from typing out my truth:
I miss you
I stared at the screen for a second before hitting send. The text bounced back with a red exclamation mark and the words: Not Delivered.