Chapter 35 Vae
Vae
PAST
Raynor drags me out. It’s cold, but he doesn’t seem to notice it at all.
“What are we doing?”
“I just need you to listen to this.”
He picks up his guitar and starts playing a song that is so poignant and beautiful that it has me almost in tears.
“It’s beautiful.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. I’m going to sing it to Indy for her birthday. Deacon asked me to do it as a special present.”
And just like that, the cold of the night returns, leaving me frozen inside.
PRESENT
Jansen drags me to the game. Of course, I kick and scream and protest with curses and threats that don’t mean anything, but he just smiles and tells me that since he saved my ass from my drunken love declarations, therefore, I owe him.
I just don’t understand why I have to be here.
I sit low in my seat, glaring at the game, trying not to pay attention, but habits are hard to break, and as much as I thought I was starting to hate the game, I have missed it.
So, I’m keeping track, and I’m paying even more attention when they enter the ice. The sounds of their skates as they travel up the ice, the whistles, the cheers of the crowd.
This is home.
I’ve missed this place almost as much as I’ve missed them.
The two centers bend over their sticks, the tension in the stands goes through the roof. The referee stands still, and the puck drops into the silence. They collide, two powerhouses. The Scorpions gain the upper hand. The puck flies out onto the waiting stick of our forwards, and they’re off.
I can’t concentrate on the game. I try, but I have no idea who is even playing; all I can do is keep glancing at the bench where I can see Deacon watching the game fiercely.
I see Mal and then, to my surprise; I see Raynor just behind the bench in the stands, sitting alone.
He’s staring right at me, no, he can’t see me. He has no idea.
I break out into shivers.
The line changes, and the forwards head in one direction. They take the puck, fighting viciously to keep control while the defenders exit the ice. I jerk up, shocked by what I’m seeing. Mal and Deacon are on the ice at the same time.
The entire team is moving like it’s a precision artistic display.
They flow and move, filling space, running attacks.
Deacon is relentless, crashing into the Eagles player, who is left stunned as he flicks the puck towards Mal, who grabs it with a waiting stick and puts on a power display, moving so fast it almost seems impossible.
He sends the puck to Thorne Gray, who comes up against Lewkoski and sends it back to Mal, who has moved closer. He skates directly at the goalie, feints to the left, feints right.
I stand up, my hands balled into fists pressed against my mouth. He moves his stick so fast it blurs, and then the puck is in. The siren sounds.
The team rush each other, but I’m still screaming. He did it!
I look up the other end of the ice and find Deacon with his helmet off. He’s scanning the crowd, but, after a while, his shoulders slump, and he turns away.
The crowd goes insane, but I know it’s a message for me.
The game ends in a tie, 1-1, but just as I go to stand up, Jansen grabs my nape and holds me still.
“Nah, let’s stay and watch the end credits.”
I cast him a dark look, this isn’t a movie theatre.
He does this lazy-ass shrug and gets even more comfortable.
“Hello.”
I sit up straight, trying to peer through the throngs of people leaving.
“My name is Deacon Katz. This is my teammate and alpha, Malcolm Evans, and our third, Raynor Hadthrop, and we have a request of our fans.”
People have stopped moving. Jansen has let go of my nape, but I haven’t noticed that I’m now standing staring down at my pack of idiot alphas.
“What are they doing?”
“I have no idea,” Jansen says sarcastically.
I glower at them and then dart down the stairs, moving closer to the ice.
“The thing is, what you don’t know about us is that Mal, Raynor, and I were all raised in the same foster home.
Our parents and social workers dropped us off and left us at this house, with this woman who wasn’t warm and loving, but she was good.
But in that house was another child, a little girl.
She looked after us and became our best friend. ”
Deacon shakes his head and laughs ruefully. “The only reason I’m on the ice today is because she believed in me, made me practice, and helped me when I pushed my body too hard.”
“Same. She’s given up everything for us,” Mal adds.
“We treated her terribly, and by the time we realised that Vae was the one, our scent match…well, I’m sure you’ve all seen the live.
But we’re here because we made a mistake.
We didn’t tell her, talk to her. We decided for her.
This incredible, fierce omega who has handled not just her life but ours, who is more capable than any woman we’ve ever met, sorry, Marilyn.
We took her choices, and we hurt her badly. ”
Deacon struggles, so Raynor takes the mic from him.
“We’re asking that you not go after Vae.
Don’t give her your hate. Don’t talk about her like she’s another girl who stole a life you thought was yours.
We’re asking the press to leave her alone.
In exchange, Deacon and Mal will provide feature-length, in-depth interviews. ”
I gape at the screen. They’ve always refused.
“The coach of our beloved team is aware of the situation, and Vae has the full support of the Scorpions with whatever she chooses to do.”
Chooses to do? What does that mean?
“Thank you for being supportive. Thank you for your love,” Mal says. “We love you guys. And…” he pauses, his face crumpling in despair that I want to wipe off his face, “Vae, we are truly sorry, and we love you.”
I whip around, glaring at Jansen. I storm up the steps to him and sit down so I’m facing him.
“They didn’t know I was going to be here?”
“They have no idea that you are here. In fact, they might think you are on a very expensive date on the other side of town, but a little birdie called me and told me to get our asses down here for the show,” he drawls. “You’re welcome.”
I huff and look down at my hands.
“Okay, talk to me. I’ll play fairy godmother one more time.”
“It felt like they broke me, like I was going to die-”
“Nope. Stop right there.”
“What?”
“Vae McMillan, I love you like you are the cousin I never wanted, so listen to me right now, and hear me. I don’t care how hard you fall in love with someone in your life, I don’t care how much it feels like your soul’s been shredded and your heart splintered.
You are too strong a person to die from the pain that someone else inflicts on you. ”
I stare at him.
“You survived this heartbreak, and it was awful, but you survived, and if you took a chance, and they hurt you again, Vae, darling stubborn, pigheaded Vae, you would survive the pain again.”
“But-”
“No buts. You are the reason they are alive, the reason they thrived, the reason they attained their dreams. You went through all those years of unrequited love, watching as they grew into their stupid selves, and it didn’t kill you.”
I want to argue, but I’m stunned. I’ve never once thought of it this way.
“Vae, you came out brokenhearted and started a thriving company. You love them, and you can love them, but that’s not all that you are.
You are a businesswoman, a friend, an intelligent, humorous individual who is far too kind with the biggest heart, and I, your friend, am telling you that there is nothing those three idiots could do to you that could break you completely. Vae, you are too strong.”
“Jansen.”
He shakes his head. “I’m privileged to be able to watch from the outside to see everything.”
“So, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying they make you happy. I don’t think you can be happy without them, and they can’t be without you. So, I’m telling you, Vae, as a person who loves you, that the only risk is a little bit of pain. They can’t break you, but they can fill the hole in here.”
He taps my chest, stands up, and holds out his hand.
“So, what are we going to do?”
I hesitate. “I want to think for a while.”
Jansen shrugs and tucks my hand in his elbow and leads me up the stairs and out of the arena.
I’m baking croissants. It requires a lot of muscle work and makes me feel better.
There’s a knock on the door, and when I go to open it, Raynor steps into the space, advancing on me. He’s so close my breath stutters in my lungs.
“Vae,” he murmurs.
He leans towards me, and I lean towards him at the same time. It’s the barest touch; he doesn’t press for more, but I’ve been so lonely, and this is my alpha. I chase his lips, grabbing his shirt and pulling myself up to get more access.
“Raynor, please.”
“Fuck, Vae, I can’t resist you when you say my name like that.”
His mouth covers mine, his tongue invading my mouth. The taste of vanilla is everywhere, and I’m going to drown in it.
I break away, turning, but he captures my hips from behind, dragging me back into him.
“You feel so fucking good, Vae.”
One huge hand slides around my stomach and slides up until his fingers push my bra cup down, and he grips my aching flesh.
I shudder and rock my hips against him.
“It’s just sex. I’m not forgiving or changing my mind. Not yet. And no foreplay.”
Raynor pauses. Maybe he hears the desperate, needy note in my voice. Maybe he just wants me the way I want him.
“Just sex. Okay, baby, I can make you feel good. Make your toes curl and tire you out so you can sleep.”
“How did you know I can’t sleep?” I gasp when he licks my neck, and I tilt my head, giving him more access.
“Because you’re up at three and have black circles under your eyes, and you never sleep well alone.”
He walks us forward as he pinches my nipple, dragging his teeth across my neck.
Raynor bends me over my bench, right near the croissants waiting to go into the oven. I’m going to have to throw the whole lot in the bin.
I don’t even care.
He unbuttons my pants and pulls them down. He grabs his cock and rubs it against me.
“You’re so wet already, Omega. Did you miss me?”
I growl at him.
He shoves up into me, impaling me. I let out a squeal and hold on to the counter, panting.
He stays there, pressed against me.
It takes forever before he moves, but when he does, I almost weep. This, this is what I’ve been missing. It’s like my pussy has decided that his cock is the perfect fit, and it’s the only one that can give me pleasure. My toys don’t even do it for me. Once you go pack, you don’t go back.
I lean on my elbows, parting my legs more, giving him more room. He glides his hands all over me, sliding under my top, undoing my bra, cupping my breasts. Turning my body into a musical instrument that is singing a song for his pleasure.
No, for ours.
“Raynor.”
“What, sweetheart?”
I sob, dropping my head to the counter. “I missed you.”
He pauses and leans over me, my back to his chest. “Vae, every single minute of every day since you left, there has been one thought on my mind. You. Only you. Missed is a poor imitation of what I felt having you gone. It was like…I’d lost music.”
“I love you.”
I say it so quietly I don’t think he hears it. I can’t believe it slipped out. He starts moving, building that pace up again from a slow, leisurely thrusting.
We’re both panting, and I’m near on screaming when he suddenly slams his knot into me.
I detonate. It’s the first time since my heat. I squeeze tight, but he’s impossibly big. He rocks into me, holding me while my body short-circuits.
I blink back to reality and find that he’s sitting in my chair upstairs with me on his lap.
“You’re still here,” I murmur and then wish I could take it back.
“Yes, Vae. I’m not going to leave you vulnerable. I’m going to take care of you.”
I turn my face into his neck, and he reaches out, clutching my hand.
“Come home.”
I press my lips into a hard line. “I can’t.”
“Whatever it is that you need, Vae, we will give it to you.”
I lift his hand and kiss his palm. “I’m scared of being hurt. Of being left alone again.”
“Nothing is going to make me leave you again.”
“You can’t say that; you don’t know…”
Raynor bites my shoulder. I cry out as his cock hardens inside me. As my whole body comes back to life. I jerk and shudder and bring his hand to my mouth and bite deeply into the fleshy muscle of his thumb.
“Should have done that ten years ago,” Raynor growls as he thrusts up into me.
His knot drags, pressing in and pulling out, just a bit, like a rocking. We fuck like that for an hour, and then I do fall asleep, and I sleep until midday the next day.
When I get up, there’s a message on my dresser telling me to come home. The kitchen downstairs is closed, and there’s a note on the door saying the shop is closed.
I stand there, nervously stepping from foot to foot.
Warmth comes through the bond, like a hug from him. I reach out and cover the bond with my hand.
He bonded me.
Now what am I going to do?