Chapter 18
CHAPTER 18
MIKAEL
I'm floored. Kenzie has been through so much. I understand her fear of buying the shop. Hell, she was afraid to get a dog. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be in her shoes. Her life has so many layers to it, but she perseveres tirelessly. She's cautious, and I’m sure she takes the added responsibilities of the shop to heart, along with that of the employees who need their jobs.
She's a fighter—that much is clear. She’s tenacious enough to weather cancer so I'm certain she'll be successful in any endeavor.
I return to my teammates to say goodbye before I return home.
Finn knows the most about me and I’ve shared bits and pieces about Jimmy. It mostly happens on the anniversary of his death when I drink scotch. None of my girlfriends knew about Jimmy. Today, it was easy to share my deepest darkest secrets with Kenzie. And why do I become a blubbering, sentimental idiot around her?
However, it felt good to talk about Jimmy. It was not until I shared that part of me with Kenzie that I realized how traumatized I was by the turn of events. Perhaps I still carry that trauma with me. He was my best friend. He died. I never want to lose anyone again. It was so painful. Kenzie is a great friend, and the fact that I could lose her and her friendship similarly is unnerving. I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship, so we should remain friends.
I've never met a survivor outside of charity events.
I rattle around in my mansion, but my house is lifeless. The kids on the hospital floor are energetic and function as if their world is normal. But I know many of them don't remember their life before they became sick. If they did, it's forgotten quickly. They spend more time in the hospital than at home playing with friends.
Today, I’m lonely and vulnerable. I'm uncomfortable in my skin. I get the feeling Kenzie hasn't shared her story with many people.
I don't want to be alone tonight. I text Chelsey.
Me: Dinner
Chelsey: Sure.
She's potentially on my dating list. We've danced around dating, but we've never acted on it.
It may be time to start dating.
I enter my sports room with memorabilia on the wall and pick up my favorite picture of Jimmy and me. We won a league championship, and I told him we'd both make it into the pros. The following year, he was sick. I continued to play hockey and felt guilty leaving him. I got to do all the things he wished he could do. I wanted to be strong at his funeral, but I broke down when I saw him in his hockey jersey.
It could have been me.
I wipe the mist from my eyes.
I leave the room and change into hockey gear. I text Finn and head to the rink.
“Dude, what's up?” Finn asks. He knows that I'm not one to skate in the middle of the afternoon unless it's practice. I like morning skates.
“Nothing,” I bristle as if I'm fine.
“No. Was it the kids today?”
“Partly.”
“What then?”
“Cancer leaves a mark on everyone,” I say, slapping the puck as hard as possible.
“You're not wrong. What triggered this? You've done these events with the kids for years.”
“It was different today. Kenzie was there with a cake for a kid who was going home. She was great with him. Afterward, we talked. She and I have a lot in common.” I found someone who knows what I went through years ago and the connection we shared was mind-blowing. I felt things I'd never felt with anyone else before, and it scared me. I can't lose Kenzie. I can't lose her as a friend, period.
“What's wrong with that?”
“Nothing. I was touched by how much she cared. She's had a difficult life.”
“So, date her.” He hits a puck to the net.
“I like where we are,” I reply.
“If you don't change your ways, you'll be alone forever. You only date women you're set up with or who you know in our circles. I don't think you want a flashy wife. You need someone down to earth like you. It's okay to be picky, but if you ask me, Kenzie has potential. It sounds like you're bonding.”
“I'm taking Chelsey out to dinner tonight.”
“You're so in denial. When are you going to admit you're into Kenzie?”
“We're friends,” I insist. I can't date Kenzie. My first girlfriend didn't like me traveling for hockey, and she always expected me to buy her expensive jewelry. I can’t keep up with the women I date. Nothing has changed over the years. I never got the feeling that I made any woman happy so I'm afraid to change things up with Kenzie. What we have is perfect.
“It sounds like it could be much more,” Finn nags.
“I'll let you know how tonight goes,” I say, slapping another puck.
***
Chelsey meets me at a well-known restaurant. It’s a place I know she’ll like because the elites in town frequent it. We give each other a quick hug.
“How have you been?” I ask her the server fills our wine glasses.
“Great. You?” She wraps her hand with overlong acrylic nails around the glass and bats her fake eyelashes.
“I can't complain.”
“I'm glad you texted.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“You know, we've known each other for two years,” she says with a smile. Her low-cut dress is not off the rack because the black buttons match her Chanel purse.
I know something about fashion since I'm referred to as the best-dressed man in the NHL. My teammates call me Mikael Styles, after the boy band member Harry Styles.
I am also working on a fashion line with a top designer.
“What's new with you?” I ask.
“Not much. Public Relations at the Sports Channel is never boring. Some retired football players run off at the mouth, and I run behind them doing damage control.”
“You like it.”
“I do,” she chuckles. “It's good job security.”
“How are your parents?”
“Great. Yours?”
“Good. My brother is doing well with his team. I want to touch the cup before him.”
“Of course.” She slowly sips her wine, and we order an appetizer to share.
“What's going on, Mikael? We dance around dating, and you never take the next step. Are you getting off the sidelines?”
Finn said I need to change.
“I'm free at the moment. So are you.”
“Well then,” she smiles demurely, running her foot up my leg.
It looks like I won't be alone tonight.