Pucking Obsessed (Bay Rebels #4)

Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

Tide Cottage, Freedom

E den

“These scones look good enough to die for.” Cody opens my box of scones and then takes a deep sniff. His eyelashes flutter. “Hey, they smell good enough to kill for.”

My cheeks flush with pride.

Cody is a couple of years older than me. He’s so athletic and sun blushed, however, by his time spent surfing that he looks the same age as me.

He’s handsome with neat brunette hair, freckles across the bridge of his nose, and russet eyes. He’s dressed in pastel blue board shorts and a black t-shirt with TORTURER emblazoned on the front in white.

His husband, Michael, gave him the t-shirt, after Cody practiced his physiotherapy on him. It’s a running joke now in the Bay Rebels.

I don’t really understand it but I do know that Cody and Michael have the type of close relationship that I admire.

I’m happy for Cody and I hope that one day, Robyn will look at me, in the same way that Cody looks at Michael.

They’re each other’s everything.

The kitchen is cozy with exposed beams and wide-planked wooden floors. The walls and open shelves are painted sky blue.

Cody’s surfboards are stacked against the far wall. A tangy brine smell wars with the sweet scent of freshly baked bread.

David Bowie’s glam rock “The Man Who Sold the World” is playing on repeat.

I respect Cody’s obsession with English rock. I should introduce him to the Arctic Monkeys.

That’s what friends do, right?

Before we started college, Shay spent our summer coaching me. He wrote out lists of conversation starters and topics that I could use to make friends.

I didn’t have any in school.

We spent our evenings in our room together through the hot summer, role playing different scenarios at lectures, bars, or in the locker rooms.

Yet it was only pretend.

Because when I reached college, I realized that it was bullshit.

What good was any of that work, if no one sees you?

If you’re so introverted that it makes you feel like your soul is on fire to be surrounded by noisy crowds of laughing students who somehow just get it …like my twin does?

Who make you feel like you don’t exist?

Yet Cody is the only person who doesn’t have that effect on me. He offers an easy affection and kindness that sparks something deep inside me.

Is it possible for someone to truly be as good as Cody seems without wanting something from you?

Can I trust him?

Let my guard down, finally?

Is this real?

Yet Cody chose me — and not my twin — to be his friend. That’s never happened before.

I relax. “Try them.”

Cody grins; his cheeks dimple. “Oh, I will. But these treasures deserve jam and clotted cream.”

I nod.

“Take a seat. Why don’t we be rebels and have our reward, before we do your exercises? Aren’t I the best physical therapist?” Cody waggles his eyebrows.

“Despite your t-shirt, definitely.”

Cody is Director of Physical Therapy at the Bay Rebels but he’s also agreed to help me one-to-one, so that I don’t need to work with a stranger. He’s put in a personal plan to work on my injuries. He’s demanding but that’s good.

The consultants haven’t sugar-coated how serious my injuries are. But no matter how hard I need to work, I’m going to recover.

I won’t give up.

Cody laughs. “Mike doesn’t appreciate my skills. Well, when I’m practicing on him. I love that this in-joke freaks out the players.”

I stroll across the kitchen and settle on the window seat.

It’s comfortable, warm, and peaceful in Tide Cottage.

I understand why Robyn likes escaping here sometimes. Especially, on Shay’s hyper days.

Cody happily hums along to “Fame,” swinging his hips and dancing around the kitchen as he pulls out knives, pots of jam, and cream onto a tray.

I glance out of the window.

The beach is remote with sea stacks that rise from the swelling waves.

The moon is almost full. Its light ripples across the silver water.

When there’s a clattering noise that makes me wince, I glance back at Cody.

“Whoops.” Cody steadies the large plate, before putting the scones out on it.

The plate is splattered as if with a violent bloodstain, along with the words: KEEP CALM, I’M A DOCTOR .

It must be Doctor Michael Gaines, Cody’s husband’s, plate.

Michael has a serious streak of dry, dark humor.

Typical doctor.

Cody’s a wild spirit, and Michael is the stern but calm influence on him.

Michael is the type of man I hope to become in another twenty years.

Cody carries the tray over to me. He sits down on the window seat as well.

“I can’t wait to try these. You’re an incredible baker.” Cody slices a scone, before passing the knife to me. “I’ll bake my special blackberry cake for you. It’s Mike’s favorite. You know, the one that you were asking about on WhatsApp.”

Surprised, I reflexively take the scone from him.

So, this is how baking chats work. It’s less extortion and more swaps.

Interesting.

“Scone Jedi Master, teach me your wisdom. Your apprentice is ready and listening. Do I put the cream on first or the jam?”

“That’s the big debate in England,” I reply. “Along with when to put milk in tea or how to pronounce scone .”

Cody blinks. “Am I pronouncing it wrong?”

“I don’t know. People can spend hours debating if it rhymes with gone or moan .”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

I firmly spread jam on first and then add the cream. Cody chuckles, before deliberately doing the opposite.

We look at each other and then both stuff the scones in our mouths.

We moan at the same time.

Fuck, that’s good.

Fluffy, buttery, and sweet.

The delicious taste reminds me of weekends with Shay and Mum and being surrounded by their happiness.

I caused that by feeding them.

As kids, I had to watch my own brother cry from hunger pains and collapse from starvation.

I will never allow my family to be hungry again.

“Awesome,” Cody mumbles around his mouthful, doing a thumbs up. “Looks like you’re coming after my top baker in the family crown.”

Family?

I look down, licking the cream off my fingers. “I’m not married to Robyn.”

“Hey,” Cody’s expression becomes serious, as he catches my wrist, “you don’t need to be. I see you guys as part of the family now. I’d like it if you saw me in the same way.”

Does he mean that?

I meet his gaze.

He’s studying me closely.

I nod.

“That’s great. I need to give you a heads-up about next week. I’ve been planning a party for my sis with Neve. It’s a surprise though, so don’t tell her. Your brother and D’Angelo are invited as well. I understand if it’s not your thing. You don’t have to come.” Cody lets go of my wrist and nudges my shoulder with a sticky finger. “But you’d be there as my friend, as much as for Ryn.”

Joy winds through me.

It’s the first time that someone has invited me to a party.

I’ve attended events that my twin has been invited to or as Robyn’s partner. But no one has invited me as an individual in my own right before.

A strange sensation is building in me. I can’t process the emotion yet.

Why are my eyes smarting?

I wish that I could say yes.

Perhaps, I can find a way to manage this party for once. I don’t want to turn Cody down.

I straighten my shoulders. “Why are you throwing her a party?”

Cody groans. “My sis the birthdayphobic. She hasn’t told you, huh? Ryn’s birthday is coming up soon. I’ll text you the details.”

My eyes widen. “Shit.”

What am I going to do?

I haven’t bought her anything. We haven’t planned a celebration.

I can’t fuck up Robyn’s first birthday with us. Shay taught me about how special birthdays are for people.

“Hey, don’t panic.” Cody grins. “I have an early surprise party covered. Ryn can’t escape. You’ve got time to buy her something or...and I’m serious about this…make her something. She was married to an asshole millionaire who bought her jewelry worth thousands every birthday. Except, he didn’t. He had his PA select it and send it over. Ryn told me that she never wore it because it made her feel how little her husband cared about her. Just do something that shows her what she means to you.”

Except, isn’t that more difficult?

Robyn is worth more than the world to me. But how do I put that into words?

Perhaps, I can show it in actions.

“Ehm, what’s that glint in your eye?” Cody quirks his brow. “Look, this is what you need to know. I’m seriously protective of Ryn. She’s honest and loyal. She loves with her whole heart. It makes me worried for her. I can’t bear to see her hurt again. Yet I’ve seen how happy she is with you guys. She’s changed. I’ve never seen her like this, and after everything that we’ve both been through, it’s like a fucking miracle.”

I stare at him. “Is this you giving me your blessing?”

“A blessing wrapped up in a shovel talk.” Cody’s look becomes dangerous.

“Fair.” I lick the sweet jam off my fingers to give myself time to think how to answer. “I will treat your sister and her heart with respect. I’d rather burn to ash again than hurt her. I’ll spend my life protecting her from the monsters that haunt this world.”

“And that’s why you’re perfect for her because you understand.” Cody pulls his knees up and wraps his arms around them.

He’s become ashen.

Instantly, I bristle.

Who has made him look like this? His dad?

I can recognize the signs when Cody is around coach. They’re ones that I live with.

Perhaps, broken people recognize other broken people.

I don’t think that Robyn truly understands.

My expression darkens. “Are you safe?”

Cody ducks his head, and his hair covers his eyes. “I am now. At least, Dad can only hurt me with words. I’m trying to repair our relationship. Dad text me and asked me boating tomorrow. That’s a good sign, right?”

I shrug.

“Dad has never taken me boating. It’s his favorite hobby, and after Mom… Well, he spent more time on his lake than in the house. Every weekend, he’d take Ryn out. He used the excuse that I was on permanent chore punishment not to include me. I was never taken off those chores. Yet I was only being punished for standing up to the bullies, who’d been tormenting my sis. I don’t regret it. I don’t know if Dad does.”

“Take Mike with you,” I blurt.

I can’t help it.

If I discover that coach has laid a hand on Robyn, then I’m going to beat the shit out of him.

Yet Cody is the first person to want to be my friend.

Isn’t it my duty to protect him as well?

I shudder with the memory of every slap, punch, kick, and swing of the belt. I can’t play hockey now because I’ve received so many blows to the head in my childhood that one more now on the ice could kill me.

Was that Cody’s reality too?

Cody glances at me. “I’m going to ask Ryn too. I’m not ready to be out on the water with Dad by myself.”

My shoulders slump in relief. “Good.”

Cody hugs his knees tighter. “I didn’t know how much I needed someone who I could talk to about shit like this. Mike gets too angry on my behalf, and I can’t tell Ryn. It’s her loving dad , you know?”

So, friendship means telling people things that you can’t tell anyone else.

It truly is special.

“I understand.” I place the tray down on the floor and edge closer to Cody, taking his hand.

Cody gives a laugh that’s choked with tears. “Dad hated it, when Ryn held my hand. He said that I wasn’t being a man . I was only a fucking kid. I was glad that she wasn’t allowed in the study, during my punishments. She tried really hard to protect me but she couldn’t stop it. I know that Dad was grieving. He thought that he was disciplining me in order to stop me from making the same mistakes that he had. Sometimes, he was drunk and he…”

When Cody trails off, his gaze becomes glassy.

I recognize that look. “Code…?”

He flinches.

I recognize that flinch as well.

I’m going to protect both Robyn and Cody.

I won’t allow them to live in fear of any monsters.

If I can’t kick coach’s arse, then I’m at least going to find a way to remove his strict control over everyone I love and care for.

D’Angelo sees coach as a father figure. Shay looks up to him. Robyn loves him.

They’re all under his power.

I may not be able to change that yet. But I can play a long game.

“Dad’s invited me to the Bay Rebels Halloween party,” Cody says, quietly. “He didn’t invite me to any of the others. In fact, he hasn’t celebrated Halloween with me since Mom died. But I know the real reason he doesn’t want me around. It’s guilt.”

My brow furrows. “Guilt?”

Cody is trembling.

He takes a long moment, and I realize with shock that he’s about to tell me something that he’s never shared with anyone else.

I know because I’ve been doing the same with Robyn.

Does he trust me that much?

I feel warm inside.

“I have a recurring nightmare.” Cody’s voice is wet with tears. “I’m trapped in my bedroom, and the door is being broken down. I’ve locked it, but someone outside is hammering on it. The door is cracking. Slowly, it’s giving way. I can’t quite remember who it is but I’m terrified. I know what will happen, when they get through.”

My chest is tight. Dread coils through me. My heart hammers.

I don’t want Cody to say it, but at the same time, I know exactly what he means because I have dreams like that about the Room.

“Except, the dream is more a memory,” Cody whispers. “And the man on the other side did get through one Halloween. Ryn was away, staying over with friends for the weekend. Dad had the door replaced the next day. And I lied that I’d got into a fight. But I still have the dreams .”

When Cody sobs, I draw him into a one armed hug.

It's awkward. I’m not good at this. I’m not my twin.

Cody clings to me, however, as he struggles to get his breathing back under control.

“I have nightmares too,” I admit. “What’s important is that you’re not trapped in that bedroom any more. You did get out. You have your own home. You have a husband who loves you unconditionally. You have me at your side. You’re never going back into that room .”

“Thanks.” Cody pulls back, wiping the back of his hand roughly across his eyes. “Seriously, what would Ryn think? You come over here for physical therapy, but instead, we inhale scones, and I cover you in tears and snot.”

I wipe at my t-shirt. “Only tears.”

“That’s okay then.” Cody plays with my fingers like he needs the distraction. “You’re doing well on your recovery, despite the setbacks. You should be out of that sling in a couple of weeks. The consultants think that it’ll be a few more months yet, before you’ll be back to normal activities. For a gym bunny like you, that’s good, right? This is a serious injury, and no promises on what the long term effects will be. But you’re my most dedicated patient. I’ve never met anyone who works harder. Still, don’t push yourself past your limits.”

I avoid his gaze. “I can take pain.”

“We both can.” Cody’s expression hardens. “But we shouldn’t have to anymore. This type of pain isn’t good. Slow down and listen to your body.”

“What if my body is broken?” I growl.

I’m not talking about my shoulder injury or my concussion.

We both know that.

Cody looks troubled. “Sometimes, I feel as broken as the door in my nightmare. It takes Mike to pull me out of those moods. I feel whole, when I’m with him. He’s my sanctuary. The person who holds me in the night to bring me back to a world where I’m safe. Isn’t it the same, when you’re with Ryn?”