Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Freedom Heart Hospital, Freedom
D ’Angelo
“Why hasn’t Michael called us through yet?” Shay is pacing from one side of the waiting room to the other with his head ducked. “Cody has already been sent home, but coach is still here. That’s bad, right?”
Shay doesn’t cope with hospitals, after his experiences with Eden. Especially this hospital, since the last time that he was in this waiting room was because Eden had been attacked on the ice, which ended his career.
And could have ended his life.
“He’ll be fine,” I say, projecting as much confidence as I can. “Mike has already evaluated him for secondary drowning and cleared him. He hasn’t inhaled water into his lungs. He has mild hypothermia and shock, which is why he’s being monitored. He’s tough.”
“Yeah, but he could have drowned.” Shay’s face is pinched and washed-out.
I don’t allow my own fear to show.
My lovers need me to be strong for them in this moment.
Yet coach is the closest person I have to a parent, and I could have lost him today.
I didn’t know how much he meant to me, until this. It’s fucked me up because I know a thousand reasons why he shouldn’t.
My stomach rumbles.
It must be evening by now. I rushed out without having lunch, the moment that I received Michael’s phone call.
I feel strangely numb.
How could a boating trip have gone so wrong?
Why the hell weren’t they wearing life jackets?
I’m sitting on the pea green chair in the small waiting room. The chairs and couches are the same green as the walls, which appear to be painted this color in an attempt to create a calming environment for the relatives who are stuck in here, waiting for news of surgeries or outcomes after accidents.
I scrunch up my nose at the scent of disinfectant.
Robyn is hunched on my lap. I’ve wrapped my long, woolen coat around her shoulders.
She’s suspiciously quiet. Her eyes are glassy.
Shock?
I rub Robyn’s shoulders, dropping a kiss onto the top of her head.
When Shay continues to pace, Eden straightens from his post by the door.
“Sit down.” Eden wraps his arm around Shay’s shoulder and guides him to the closest seat.
Shay’s still vibrating with energy, tapping his foot.
“Mike is an amazing doctor, just like Code is a seriously strong swimmer.” I don’t let any of them see how freaked out I am. “Coach was lucky to have them both right there.”
“Code saved Dad,” Robyn whispers. “After everything, he was the one who dived in and…”
My brow furrows.
What does she mean after everything ?
I don’t know what happened on the yacht but I have the feeling that it was much bigger than simply a man falling overboard.
“He’s a hero,” Eden says, firmly.
“Too right.” Shay finally smiles. “He should get some kind of medal or something for saving our coach, right?”
“Code’s never been on a boat before.” Robyn’s voice is wet with tears. “But he knew just what to do. I fucking froze, and Michael can’t swim. It was Code who took charge without any hesitation. If Dad hadn’t been drinking, he’d have been able to hold onto the flotation ring that Code threw to him. You should have seen how Code dived in to rescue Dad.”
“But why would he?” Eden shoots me a complicated look that I don’t understand.
Shay gives his brother a startled glance. “Don’t say shit like that.”
Eden doesn’t appear repentant.
I nearly had a heart attack, when Michael called me on the way to the hospital. He sounded calm like always, but I could hear the panic underneath his tone.
He was in shock. I could tell.
He spoke as if he was relaying the news to his colleagues about an accident that had happened to strangers. It must be a coping mechanism that all doctors use. He explained that coach had fallen into the lake.
Then that Cody was also being taken to the hospital because he’d dived in to save his dad.
I hug Robyn more closely to my chest. “Do you want another coffee?”
Robyn shakes her head.
Her hands are still clenched around the first mug of by now cold coffee, which she’s been clutching onto like a lifeline for over an hour now.
Gently, I take the mug from her and place it onto the floor. “Do you want to talk about it, principessa? It’s fine if you don’t.”
Something bad happened on that yacht.
I can sense it in my bones.
Robyn fiddles with the edges of my coat, pulling it more closely around herself to sniff at the collar. I don’t know whether it’s to block out the stink of disinfectant or because she finds my familiar masculine scent reassuring.
“Eden is allowed to ask his question,” she says, quietly. “Did Code risk his life because Austin is his dad? Does being a biological parent mean that you can do anything to someone, and they just have to take it?”
Dread churns in my guts.
The taste of blood. Being dragged out of my bed in the middle of the night and kidnapped, as my parents coldly watched.
Save me…Mom…help…please…
I fiddle compulsively with my tie, adjusting it. “Of course not.”
Shay’s looking as sick as I feel.
After all, his addict biological parents literally sold him.
“What’s this got to do with Code?” Shay asks.
“I think,” Robyn says in a choked voice, “that Dad may have hurt him more than I witnessed.”
My stomach drops. Protectiveness sears through me.
Eden prowls to his feet. “What do you want us to do?”
“Wait.” Startled, I grip Robyn’s chin and tip her head up, so that I can searchingly look into her eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know yet. And it’s killing me.”
From Eden’s expression, however, he knows at least some of the truth.
Eden has a special type of friendship with Robyn’s brother, even if he doesn’t understand it yet. If Cody has confided in him, then that’s private.
I’m happy that Eden understands that aspect at least. But then, he’s spent his life guarding secrets.
“We’re here for both of you, love,” Shay says. “Whatever you need from us.”
Robyn relaxes slightly. “I don’t know what to do. Will the fact that Cody saved his life change how Dad treats him?”
“Then they lived happily ever after,” I drawl, unable to clamp down on my sarcasm.
I wish that I could reassure Robyn that coach will have a revelatory moment.
Maybe coach’s life truly did flash before his eyes.
He’d have seen what a dick he’d been to his own son.
Who knows?
Perhaps, he’ll feel ashamed and beg for forgiveness on his knees.
Except, I’ve got more chance of submitting to lay across Shay’s lap for a spanking.
And that is seriously never going to happen.
I shudder at the thought.
Yet if coach does try to mend his relationship, seeking a genuine second chance, I wouldn’t blame Cody if he took it.
Even now, there’s a deep, buried child-like part of me that wishes my parents would do the same.
I know that it will never happen.
My parents have rejected and abandoned me twice. I’m dead to them, and they’re dead to me.
Or perhaps, the real me was never alive to them in the first place.
But still…
Would I have the strength to turn away my parents, especially Mom, if she turned up telling me that she loved me?
I tug at my tie three times, forcing away intrusive thoughts.
I can’t get caught in daydreams myself or fairy tales that will never happen.
My family don’t love me, but I’ve created a new one.
Robyn’s expression is grim. “My heart is with Code. At the same time, however, I can’t stop being worried for Dad.”
I stroke down her cheek. “Emotions aren’t simple. You don’t need to have it worked out yet. Let’s just see that the asshole is okay. Then you can take the lead on what we do next. The problem is that coach has a lot of power over our careers, including your brother’s. Colton would be even more dangerous to all of us. So, what do you think about us hiding how we feel? Just stuff it down with our own demons and shit and act like normal for now. We have enough practice on that.”
Eden sharply turns to face the wall, crossing his arms.
I’ll take that as a vote against.
Although, I’m sure that his solution would include arson.
“Cucciolo?” I say, softly.
Shay looks lost.
I hold out my hand, and he scoots over on the chairs, until he’s sitting next to me. Our thighs are touching.
Shay takes my hand. “I’ll do whatever Robyn chooses.”
Robyn bites her lip, thinking hard.
Then she nods. “I spoke to Code, when we were driving here. Then after he was checked by the doctors, before he went home. He doesn’t know how he feels now after… Well, something like this shocks you. He’s not going to see Dad outside work for now. He told me that I should though because he doesn’t want any of us to fuck our careers. He also doesn’t want me to lose my closeness to Dad. I just think that I may already have.”
When a tear traces down her cheek, my heart aches.
I wipe the tear away.
“We’ll support your decision.” My eyes narrow at the stiff set of Eden’s back. “Eden, get your ass over here.”
For a long moment, I don’t think that he’ll listen to me.
I’m tempted to pull the boss card.
Can I claim that I have a PA emergency? An urgent text that I need sending? Is sulking breaking any of the terms and conditions of his contract?
Reluctantly, Eden turns around.
He doesn’t move any closer like he needs some space to himself at the moment but instead, leans against the wall.
I understand that this is hard for him.
If Robyn is implying what I think she is, then this must be triggering for Eden.
Robyn looks at Eden, concerned. “You don’t have to pretend anything, phoenix. I don’t expect you to join in with the act. You can simply avoid Dad as much as possible.”
Eden gives a relieved nod.
“I knew Dad had issues.” Robyn’s eyes suddenly glint with something dangerous. “I learned, after the nightmare with Gibbs, that Mom was flawed. I mean, parents aren’t angels or devils, right? They’re simply people who are struggling to get along the best that they can. Somehow, being isolated with Dad for all those years after Mom’s death, bullied at school and hounded by the press, Dad became a kind of rebel hero to me. He was the strong man who stood between me and a dangerous world. Yet I didn’t realize that it was his strength that hurt both Code and me in so many fucking ways. I’ve forgiven him for his neglect but I can’t forgive him for how he abused my brother.”
My expression tightens.
Fuck coach.
Fuck him for teaching my principessa that strength is a bad thing.
Fuck him for using his strength to hurt.
“I promise that my strength will only ever build you up,” I murmur. “I will encourage, affirm, and listen with empathy. My strength is your support.”
“I’m strong, aren’t I?” Shay tilts up his chin. “It can look different: like a sexy English man willingly on his knees.”
I’m relieved, when a small smile flickers across Robyn’s lips. “You’ve both taught me not to fear strength any more. After Dad and Wilder, I didn’t know that a man’s power and control could bring me pleasure and happiness. I didn’t understand that they could be healthy dynamics and consensual. You’re good men, all of you.”
“We shouldn’t be trapped by coach,” Eden bursts out.
I meet Eden’s anguished gaze steadily. “This week I have one goal. Win . Otherwise, I’m ruined. So are the Bay Rebels. Right now, we’ve been trapped by Colton, the board, and Heine. So, we need to free ourselves from that first and then—”
“Free ourselves from Dad.” To my surprise, Robyn squirms off my knee and stands. “We can have that as our secret goal.”
She marches to Eden, looking determined.
She rests her hands on his shoulders. “I will protect my brother in any way that I can. I know that you’ve sacrificed all your life for Shay. I love you so fucking much that you’re prepared to do the same for my brother.”
She runs her hand up to the back of Eden’s neck and then draws him down into a light kiss.
It feels like a vow.
Shay and I exchange a confused glance.
“What do you mean?” I stand up, smoothing down my suit.
When Robyn finally pulls away from the kiss, she appears calmer and more settled than she has since I arrived at the hospital.
Eden slips his arm firmly around her waist, and Robyn rests her head against his chest.
“I mean that long term — by the end of this season — we work toward freeing ourselves from Dad’s influence.” Robyn’s gaze is steely.
I raise my hand to brush my curls out of my face and am surprised to find that it’s shaking.
Anything to do with parents is fucking hard for me.
Yet my voice is steady. “Whatever it takes.”
When my phone rings, I take a steadying breath, before I answer it.
Fuck, it’s Colton.
What does he want now? To gloat that coach almost died?
Probably.
“I’m in the hospital. I shouldn’t be talking on my phone because of the sensitive equipment,” I snap.
I don’t know if it’s true.
But hopefully, it’ll get Colton to fuck off.
“You always have some excuse, don’t you?” Colton sneers. “Don’t tell me that you’re still upset about coach falling off his damn yacht into his own lake? It’s funny. Haven’t you seen the memes? Anderson has been sharing them here. Don’t you have a sense of humor?”
He laughs.
I’m glad that Robyn can’t hear this.
Shay’s sitting next to me, however, and can hear. He stiffens. His eyes flash with anger.
“I do,” I say, coldly. “Although it obviously differs from yours in every possible way in that yours is terrible, I will defend with my life your right to go fuck yourself .”
Shay bursts out laughing.
Shit, did I really say that to an assistant coach? An assistant coach who is currently making a power play for the Bay Rebels?
I never backtalk coaches. Nobody is allowed to. But Colton brings it out of me.
He is going to hand me my ass on the ice.
Worth it.
“You’re a cocky jerk,” Colton says, furious. “No player speaks to me like that. Why do you always make me be hard on you? You had better have an apology ready for the start of practice.”
“Shay and I aren’t coming to practice.”
“You are,” Colton replies, smugly. Shay is looking panicked. I swallow. I won’t leave Robyn, when she needs me. “I’ve cleared it with Mr. McKenna. Did you think that he was on his deathbed? He’s in that hospital room directing the team. And no, he doesn’t want to see any of you. What? Have I hurt your feelings? He doesn’t want to see his daughter either. She should be working. He asked me to call and get your asses down to the rink for extra practice. I hope that you had fun cussing at me because I’m going to push you until you break, captain .”