Chapter 30
CHAPTER 30
Jax pushed open the doors to his private suite at the top of the west tower. I took in the large circular room, huge bed, plush furnishings, and sweeping views. A moment of disbelief filled me that I was back in his chambers.
“I never thought I would be here again,” I whispered.
A pulse throbbed from Jax’s aura, and his arms tightened around me. “This is your home now, Elowen. This will always be your home as long as I take breaths and my heart still beats.”
He strode toward the bathing chamber and didn’t stop until he reached the tub. “A bath, I’m assuming?”
I glanced down at the huge tub that was perched by the window. In the distance, the Adriastic Sea glistened, and this high up, it felt as if I could see the entire realm.
“A bath would be perfect.” I’d never been allowed to bathe while I’d been imprisoned. Most inmates had probably used self-cleansing, but with my magic so suppressed, I hadn’t even been able to manage that. “Stars Above, I must stink.”
His lips curved. “You don’t smell fresh, I will admit that.”
I slugged him lightly in the shoulder but couldn’t help my smile. “Be careful, or I might choose to begin living this way.”
He nuzzled my neck. “I’ll take you stinky, fresh, dirty, or clean. Just as long as you’re with me.”
My heart fluttered at his tender words.
He set me down, then got to work filling the tub, adding a soothing elixir, summoning food, and grabbing fresh towels. Even when I tried to help, he stopped me. “No. Let me do this for you.”
It was only as I was about to undress, and he placed a tray of food on a small table near the tub, that I saw his hands were shaking.
I reached for him. The bond inside me was slowly coming alive again, tugging and commanding. “Jax? What is it?”
He turned, pulling me into such a fierce embrace I could hardly breathe. He held me, buried against his chest as his arms were like steel enclosed around me. Leaning down, he settled his face in the crook of my neck. “I almost lost you.”
Fear tumbled from his aura, and for the first time, some of the fog parted in my mind, allowing me to see, truly see , what state he was in. His hair was unkempt, his clothes wrinkled, and a beard graced his cheeks.
“Jax,” I whispered achingly. I ran a hand over his face. Coarse hair met my fingertips. “My Gods, my love, I’m so sorry.”
“What for? It is I who should be apologizing.”
“No.” I pressed my fingers to his lips. “It wasn’t only me who’s been suffering, and I’m only just seeing that. I’m so sorry.”
So much had been at stake during the past few weeks, but while I’d been nearly comatose from the potions forced upon me, he hadn’t. He’d been living free and alone, thinking that I might never leave that prison.
I could feel his fear. It tingled in his aura, even though he was trying to hide it.
“I’m here,” I whispered. “I’ll always be here with you.” I slowly began to undress him.
“What are you doing?”
“You’re joining me. I think we both need this bath and food.”
He gently clasped my hands. “No, I want to care for you. I must?—”
I again stopped him with my fingers pressed to his lips. “And I must care for you . I want to do this for you as much as you want to do it for me.” A throb came inside me, our bond warming and growing with him so near. I gasped and placed a hand on my stomach. It was the first time in weeks that I’d felt our mate bond, and galaxy and stars, had I missed it. “’Tis not only you who feels the need to care for the other.”
His throat bobbed, and I continued undressing him. Inch by inch of perfect golden skin was revealed with every layer of clothing that fell. Naked before me, his gaze turned heated. My clothes were soon peeled off and my hair unbound.
Together, we stepped into the tub, now filled with steaming water that smelled faintly of jasmine. He lathered a cloth, filling it with soapy suds, then washed me head to toe. He did it so gently, so reverently, and with each pass of his hands, his love beat toward me.
Memories of the first bath I’d taken in this palace came back to me. The bath I’d had after doing Jax’s calling to find Bastian. Like then, Jax’s hands were just as gentle, just as tender.
My heart swelled under his strong yet soothing touch, and when he finished, I took the cloth and did the same to him. My hands traveled over his broad shoulders, defined chest, and chiseled limbs. With every swipe of my fingers upon his skin, he shuddered, and the need in his aura grew.
The fog in my mind cleared even more as the potions’ potent effects faded, and for the first time in weeks, a tingle of my magic glowed inside me.
“It’s coming back.” I dropped a hand to my stomach, near my shadow mark that signified I was a lorafin. “I can feel a tiny bit of my magic.”
Jax’s eyes grew hooded, and he pulled me closer until I sat on his lap. I straddled him, my legs parting automatically.
He pulled a piece of food off the tray sitting by the tub and fed me. Piece after piece he placed into my mouth, watching my lips close over them and feeling the swipe of my tongue against his fingertips.
Longing curled in my lower belly, and lust grew on his expression, stronger and more heated with every scrape of my teeth. And with each morsel that I swallowed, his aura swelled and grew, pulsing with want and hunger .
“Let me love you,” he whispered. “I need to feel you, hold you, rut with you—” His throat bobbed.
I slanted my mouth over his, and an answering pulse of desire shot through my core. He was already rock hard beneath me. Water lapped against my waist, and his hands, still slick with soap, trailed over me, sliding along my skin, cupping my backside, and palming my breasts.
Our kiss turned frantic and raw. His hands fisted in my hair, a groan coming from deep in his throat. He lifted and lowered me onto his length, and I sucked in a breath as the perfect feel of him began to fill me.
He slid inside me, inch by inch, filling me completely, and then hissed when I was fully seated atop him.
“I can’t live without you.” His voice was hoarse, his eyes glowing when I pulled back just enough to see them.
“You don’t have to.”
And as we made love in the bath, the water lapping around us, I only hoped that somehow, we could make that declaration come true.
I awoke from a long nap, happy and content after several restful hours of slumber. Jax lay beside me, awake and stretched out as he watched me. Dark hair fell over his forehead, and smoothly shaven cheeks brushed against me when he dipped down to kiss me awake. Outside, the capital’s bells began to toll.
A smile curved my lips. “You shaved.”
He rubbed a cheek. “It was about time. I grew neglectful while you were away.”
“What time is it?” I asked sleepily.
“It’s almost time for the evening meal. But we don’t need to go down. We can stay up here and have food delivered.”
“No.” I shook my head, my head clearing more. “I want to go. I refuse to let your parents chase me away. Not even time in prison can do that.”
A fierce flare of pride shone in his eyes, and together we got up and dressed.
Similar to the navy gown I wore the last time I’d donned such garments, the new blood-red dress that hugged my frame was light and airy. Movement was easy, and the material was soft. I felt like a queen in the stunning deep-crimson gown that was encrusted with jewels and sewn with sparkling thread.
Like me, Jax wore a top of dark red. Both of us had forsaken Stonewild colors tonight, perhaps in solidarity with one another. Or perhaps not. But we’d both been drawn to the bold color when we’d chosen our formal clothing.
Jax held my hand when we walked down the hall toward the dining chambers. Two servants lined the doors ahead of us, and din from the preparations in the great room carried through the doors toward us.
“Do your parents know I’m here?” I asked quietly.
“I’m sure they’ve heard by now.”
I gripped my mate’s hand tightly. The potions had completely worn off, and the bath, food, and long nap had helped immensely. My magic was once again fully awake inside me, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like myself.
The doors drew nearer. “Do you think they’ll try to kick me out? Or just make me sit at the end of the table again?”
“They won’t be doing either,” he all but snarled.
“But they could.”
His hand tightened around mine. “Then they’ll be kicking me out too. If you go, I go.”
A fierce resolve had formed around Jax, as though he would move a mountain, slay the stars, capture the moons... I’d seen him determined before, but nothing like this.
As though sensing the prince’s malevolent magic swirling around him, the servants opened the main doors with a flourish, stepping back as we neared, and we strode inside.
Similar to the last meal I’d had here, the dining hall was overflowing with nobles as the king and queen sat at the head of the table.
All conversation stopped when we appeared in their line of sight.
The king sighed, his expression morphing into irritation.
The queen’s nostrils flared. “Adarian? What’s the meaning of this?”
I ground to a halt when the queen’s sharp words pierced my ears.
But Jax merely ushered me toward a seat near the head of the table. He pulled the chair out, and even though everyone’s gaze prickled over my skin like stinging needles, I sat.
“Adarian,” the king boomed. “Answer your mother.”
Jax turned his frosty gaze on them both. “I’m unsure why you’re making a fuss. I’m simply sitting down for supper with my mate .”
The king’s cheeks turned ruddy, and the queen gasped.
“But she was . . . arrested!” Queen Rashelle hissed under her breath.
“And now she’s not,” Jax replied calmly.
I pressed my lips together. Even knowing I needed to win them over, a laugh threatened to bubble out of me at Jax’s wry response.
Steaming plates of food sat on the tables near the wall, and the servants waiting to begin the service gave one another side-eyes.
With a growl, the king barked to them, “Begin.”
In a flourish, the servants set to work, and our plates were filled with food, and our goblets poured full of drink. Everyone began to eat, but you could have cut the tension with a knife. Automatically, I cut into the roast in front of me even though my stomach was roiling.
A sneer came from my side.
Lady Aerobelle sat two seats down. “That’s the wrong fork.”
I glanced Jax’s way to see that he’d picked up the fork near the end of his silverware, not the second one in like I had. Etiquette lessons my guardian had insisted on had taught me what silverware to use, but even though I felt better, I was still tired. I’d simply grabbed a fork, not bothering to check which one it was.
Despite Aerobelle’s snub, I didn’t change what fork I held. “Is it?” I raised my eyebrows and speared another piece of meat. “Thank you for that fascinating lesson, Lady Aerobelle.”
Lady Aerobelle harrumphed and said something under her breath to another female at her side. Both began to laugh.
I rolled my eyes but refused to cower. After all, it was silverware . I’d literally just stopped a king from marching upon the continent. I’d prevented a literal war. The last thing I was going to stress over was a fork.
But my mate was another story. A low snarl came from Jax, directed entirely at Aerobelle. “Truly, Aerobelle, have you never learned any manners? Or anything truly interesting to say? Considering your comments are reserved for silverware, apparently not.”
Her eyes widened, and Bowan and Trivan, seated across the massive table from us, both laughed openly.
Lander’s mouth slanted in a smile, and he lifted his glass. “I toast to Lady Aerobelle’s continued etiquette classes. Apparently, she never mastered them.”
Aerobelle’s mouth fell open, and her parents, who were seated near her, puffed up with indignation.
“Prince Adarian,” her father huffed. “My daughter has been thoroughly?—”
“Thoroughly rude?” Jax cocked an eyebrow. “Yes, you’re right. She has been. And unless she learns to treat my mate with more respect, then she has no place at this table.” Ice lined his words. “And that goes for anyone else who cares to insult Elowen.” His gaze cut to the female Aerobelle had been tittering with.
The female slunk so low in her seat that it was a miracle her head was still above the table.
Lady Aerobelle’s mouth opened, then closed. Tears sprang forth in her eyes, and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was the first time the prince had ever insulted a female so blatantly.
“My prince, I was just?—”
“About to apologize?” Jax’s question was said so low but was filled with so much menace that she paled. “I certainly hope that’s what you were about to say, Lady Aerobelle. If not, the door’s right there.” He used his fork to point toward the hall.
Lady Aerobelle’s cheeks reddened. She stood, her chair scraping against the stone floor. Huffing, she threw her napkin onto the table and stormed from the room.
Her parents gaped, and her mother stood and scurried after her.
I sat speechless. The fierceness Jax had just exuded was simmering all around him.
“Does anyone else care to insult my mate?” His voice carried through the hall, and even the king and queen appeared to be at a loss for words.
I couldn’t help but wonder if Jax had ever acted this brazenly, this hostilely , before.
“No?” The crown prince lifted his wine glass. “In that case, solls.”
A few of the nobles automatically clinked glasses, wariness coating their expressions, but across the table, Alec, Bowan, Lander, and Trivan all smirked.
“Adarian,” the queen called, then cleared her throat. A flush had worked up her neck, and I had a feeling she was two seconds away from throwing me out. Or maybe not. For the first time, she was watching her son with a mixture of hesitation and wariness. “We were all just chatting about the Ironcrest Ball before you arrived. It’s next week, as I’m sure you remember. We shall be leaving soon for it, so the coming days will be busy.” The queen sipped from her goblet, her gaze darting to me. “Quite busy, my darling.”
For the first time, some of her haughtiness evaporated, yet I had a feeling that had less to do with me and more to do with the swirling cyclone seated at my side.
Jax tapped his fingers against his wine glass. “I haven’t forgotten, Mother. And in case you’re unaware, Elowen will be joining us for that trip.”
The king sighed heavily and tossed his napkin onto the table. “Adarian, a word if you would.” He pushed to standing and strode from the hall, not looking back to see if his son was joining him.
Jax’s nostrils flared, but he dutifully stood, then lowered to kiss me on the neck. “I’m sorry, my love. I’ll be back shortly. If anyone tries to make you leave...” He shot a look at his four friends across the table.
Bowan and Alec lifted their glasses, and Trivan’s eyes danced with mischief. Even Lander looked ready for a fight.
I inclined my head, and my mate bond hummed. “I’ll stay put.”
Jax followed his father out of the dining hall, leaving me alone with the others. Conversation quickly erupted, nervous words and awkward mutterings from the other nobles and guests dining with their sovereign tonight.
I forced myself to eat, and even though I refused to leave Jax’s side, no matter what was to come, I couldn’t help but wonder if every night would be this hostile.
I certainly hoped not.
A presence suddenly penetrated my senses, and before I could glance toward it, the queen was sliding into Jax’s chair.
Her large gown ruffled around her, brushing against my thigh.
Everyone else carried on talking, nobody commenting that the queen had just left her place at the head of the table to sit near a commoner.
I took a sip of wine and kept my chin up. “Good evening, Your Majesty.”
“Elowen, is it?” A smile danced on her lips, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Her expression, as sharp as glass, assessed me. “I can see that my son is very enamored with you.”
“He is. He’s my mate. So with all due respect, of course he’s enamored with me, my queen.”
Her smile tightened, tiny lines forming around the forced expression. “Even so, I thought perhaps we should talk, female to female. Surely, that’s not too much to ask. Is it?”
“No, of course not.”
“Come.” She stood and waited for me to join her.
I shot a look at Bowan, Lander, Trivan, and Alec across the table. They all watched me. Bowan made a move as though he was going to stand to follow us, but I shook my head.
The queen led me from the dining hall, and it wasn’t lost on me that she exited the room from across where Jax and the king had departed.
Once alone in the hall, away from prying eyes, she walked languidly, her hands clasped behind her back.
“You and my son are in love.”
I kept pace at her side. “Yes, we are.”
She laughed, the sound filled with scorn. “Love isn’t what’s needed to run a kingdom.”
I had no response to that, so I kept my lips pressed together.
“And love, even to one’s mate, can cause a plethora of problems. Surely, you understand, as a female of the realm, that sometimes we have to do things for others and not for ourselves.”
My feet ground to a halt. “Your Majesty, I just spent several weeks in the prison system due to helping others, so please, don’t lecture me on such matters. I’ve spent my entire life serving others.”
Her lips pursed. “Ah, yes. You were a slave. Entrusted to your guardian because you’re a lorafin.” She eyed me and continued walking. I was forced to follow or be left behind. “Your magic is quite potent, I will give you that. I can sense it, simmering just beneath your skin, and your aura is quite powerful. Perhaps that’s why my son is so taken with you. He does love a challenge, and I have no doubt you’ve been exactly that.”
“I’m more than just a challenge, my queen. Your son and I were meant for one another. The gods declared it so by creating the mate bond between us. I’m sorry that’s not what you or the king wanted, but Adarian and I plan to be together, with or without your consent, but in all honesty, I have no desire to fight you. And I do hope that perhaps you’ll grow to accept me one day.”
She stopped and faced me again. Piercing blue eyes stared at me, so much like Jax’s that for a moment, I could only stare. We were around the corner now, away from the dining hall and the servants’ prying eyes who stood outside of it. “Ah, the mate bond. Of course. How silly of me not to discuss it more. And despite what you’ve just claimed, about refusing to leave my son’s side, it’s brought up a very interesting question. May I ask you something?”
I inclined my head.
“Is a mate bond worth strife throughout a kingdom? Is your love for my son so selfish that you would put your own desires above all others?”
My brow furrowed. “Of course not, but we’re not hurting anyone by being together.”
Her gaze sharpened, and she stepped closer to me. “You’re not? Do you know what will happen if Jax doesn’t marry a female of his standing?”
When I didn’t reply, the queen clucked her tongue.
“No, you don’t know, because you know nothing of what it’s like to rule a kingdom or what’s required to keep the ten Houses in line, or what’s needed to appease those Houses who’ve made alliances with neighboring kingdoms. You know nothing of the politics that ensures peace remains and prosperity continues. You know none of this because you’re not one of us.”
Each word from her was like a blow to my heart. Every. Single. One. But I squared my shoulders and didn’t back down. “Yet, it was me who stopped a king from creating a war throughout our continent. Doesn’t that deserve some kind of respect?”
She laughed lightly. “Ah, the charges that were brought against you that you somehow managed to wheedle your way out of.” Her smile turned razor-sharp. “And is that how you’ll solve issues as they arise? By visiting the Veiled Between and altering fate every time something doesn’t go your way?”
My head snapped back as though she’d slapped me. “No, of course not.”
“That’s good. We wouldn’t want a heretic sitting on the throne who flaunts the laws of our land in everyone’s faces, now would we?”
A flush worked across my neck, yet despite the rage building inside me, I kept my voice calm. “My queen, I can see that you’re doing everything in your power to disrespect me and try to scare me away, so I’ll say this once. I won’t let you.”
Her eyes widened.
“And to answer your concerns that I cannot possibly lead because I’m not royal, or that a union between Adarian and I could never work because of the ten Houses...I disagree. The Houses may be angry that one of their daughters wasn’t chosen, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be appeased in other ways, and I can learn to lead. I’m educated, willing, and determined to do what’s best for Stonewild. And I love your son more than any other ever could. He and I will rule together, side by side, doing what’s best for our kingdom. And I can assure you, every decision I ever make will be to benefit Stonewild. I promise you that. So, whether you choose to accept me is up to you, but I’m telling you this now, I’m not going anywhere.”
For a moment, she just stared at me, her gaze as consuming as her son’s.
She shook her head and laughed softly, yet the sound wasn’t scorning. It was more...pitying.
She sighed and laid a hand over mine. Her palm was smooth, warm, and soft. It was the hand of a female who’d been doted on her entire life and had never needed to lift a finger to obtain what was needed. Unlike Jax, whose hands were rough and calloused. He had the hands of someone who got in the fray.
“Truly, Elowen,” she said quietly, and a ring of sincerity filled her voice. “I mean this from the bottom of my heart. I have nothing against you. I can see that you mean well, and my son wholly cares for you. But I’m asking you to step back. I’m asking you to do what’s best for others. If Jax doesn’t marry a woman of noble birth, we’ll have broken our vows to the ten Houses. The reason they’ve never risen up against the crown, or threatened to try and steal it from the Stagthorn line, or bickered too valiantly when their king asks for them to put his needs before their own is because of promises that have been made and must be kept. And one of those promises is to keep the crown pure with royal blood.”
Pure . A dirty feeling washed over me. “And I’m not . . . pure.”
“No, Elowen. You’re a lorafin whose magic has been treated as a whore.” I made a noise, low in my throat, and her face dimmed. “I don’t say that to insult you. I’m merely speaking plainly. The ten Houses will never view you as an equal because you’re not. You don’t belong with my son, and you don’t belong here, so please, I’m asking you to do what’s best for everyone else around you and leave Stonewild once and for all.” She stepped closer to me, her voice like steel. “And, Elowen, I ask that you never come back.”