Quiet Burn (Discordia University #2)

Devil Inside

Kit/Kat

X pulled me along to their room insistently once we were out of the elevator. I haven’t been to the room they share with Anton yet—I’ve only seen Zav’s and Jasper’s so far. I’d find that odd, except that we now gather in the dorm I share with Salem, so everyone sort of comes to me. I don’t know if that was by design or not, but it really does reduce my anxiety to be in my space.

But now we’re headed for X’s and I don’t know what I feel about that.

“Um… X? What… Why are we going to your room?”

They huff in annoyance, squeezing my hand as they tug me toward their door. Once they press their palm to the reader, the door opens to what appears to be a picture perfect, magazine-shoot ready room in contrasting metallic hues of all colors of the rainbow accenting a white and a black room. It’s not shocking, given what I know about the two of them, but I’m still gaping as we head inside. The door clicks shut behind me and that brings me out of my reverie.

“Hello?” I wave my free hand at them. “I asked a question.”

X lets go of me, whirling around with wide eyes as he looks around, then at me. “It’s not because you’re… I mean. I wasn’t saying anything because it’s not cool, right? But then today with the uniforms, I realized that I wasn’t keeping that kind of secret. Right?”

What the fuck is he talking about?

“X? I feel like you skipped a step. I’m not sure?—”

They sink their hands into their hair, groaning as they look up at the ceiling. “Hecate, help me.” Their gaze comes back to me, determined but kind. “Kit, I know . I mean, I sort of knew when you arrived but I thought… I thought I’d be crossing a line to out you and… I’m not , because you aren’t .”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckkity. Fuck.

Panic floods my system as my chest tightens and I lick my lips. I have to keep myself from keeling over or everyone will come running and I’ll have to admit it to them all. “I… I … I…”

“I’m not going to tell, Kit Kat.” X reaches out, grabbing my hand again and squeezing it to bring me back. “Don’t start hyperventilating. But I needed you to know I know because… I can help. I don’t know why you’re hiding who you are, but… I won’t tell.”

I blink, swallowing hard. “You won’t?”

They smile, shrugging a little. “I’d be a big fucking hypocrite if I decided what gender you are changes the person we’ve gotten to know, wouldn’t I?”

I guess that’s true.

“Not even Anton? I don’t want him to be mad at you,” I croak, still coming down from what would have been a major freak out. “That’s not fair of me to ask anyone; I know.”

“Kit, I don’t know why you’re doing this and you don’t have to tell me. I’d like you to want to at some point and that requires trust. You need to feel comfortable enough with us to accept our animals and demons, plus let us see the real you. That’s going to be interesting for sure, but regardless, it takes time.” X grins as they hold up a finger. “But with all this shit coming, you need an ally, especially when it comes to getting the proper gear. So that’s me.”

“Oh,” I say as it sinks in. “You thought I was going to lose it every time I had to have things for certain trials or whatever the fuck they make us do, right?”

X taps their nose. “Exactly. So in the interest of not having you pass out from panic every time, I realized it was time to reveal my knowledge. I figured it would help you keep your balance.”

“What about Anton?” I press. “Isn’t he going to be angry?”

“Uh, no. I often keep non-serious, non-life altering secrets that he pries out of me eventually. It’s a game we play, so he won’t be mad. This one, he’ll have to get out of you, though.” X pauses, biting their lip impishly. “But he’s awfully good at it and he sees much more than people realize. He and Oriel are so damned good at that.”

I nod, taking that info as I think about Xerxes’ offer. “You swear you won’t tell? Because I have to take that on faith and… I’m not good at that. I’ll try, though.”

They hold their hand out, pinky extended. “Pinky swear. I’d do blood, ‘cause that’s the demon way, but I think it’d freak you out.”

My brows furrow as I hook pinkies with them, and I let out a long breath. “I need to get used to demon ways, X. Find something and teach me.”

They blink, then move quickly to find a small dagger. X holds it up between us, their head tilted. “You sure, Kit Kat? Blood is a big deal for us, especially attached to a promise. Are you ready for that?”

“I think so? I won’t know until I try. Should I expect some… big deal?” I ask curiously. “I only know what humans show in the media… about demon deals, I mean. I don’t have a clue what to expect.”

“Just us touching, the tingle and mingle, then a little bit of smoke and light show, but nothing big. You’ll be okay.” They hold up their palm, slicing it without even flinching. “Ready?”

Nodding, I keep my mouth closed as I give him my hand again. I’m too nervous to speak until it’s done; this is so beyond my comfort zone I don’t even know how to express it. “Okay, do it.”

X slices my skin and the knife is so sharp I barely feel the sting. They take my bloody palm in theirs and as promised, a zing of energy shoots from the point where our blood mixes. My hand, then my arm, and then the rest of my body tingles like I’ve been shocked. I close my eyes, letting it work through me as he whispers, “As it is said, let it be written in the flames. The bond is locked and the oath will be honored until the end. Sermo meus sanguis meus est; sanguis meus juratus est in ?ternum ? 1 .”

I really hope this isn’t a bad idea; I don’t know if I could handle being wrong about them.

Xerxes and I spent a bit more time getting measurements and talking about the previous Games before we headed back to my dorm. They felt I should be aware that the farther into the competition we get, the more likely it will be that I’ll have to confess my secret to some or all of our team. The last trials had aquatic and survival portions that would almost certainly require them to make something special for me to wear—though I’m not sure what excuses we’ll have to make to have that work. I also spilled the beans about the potion Dank is making for me until I emerge; it lifted a weight off of my shoulders when X volunteered to help me get refills so I’m not always headed for the doctor.

An ally who knows my secret other than a kinkajou who can’t speak might be a bigger asset than I realized.

“I don’t know if you’ve considered this…” they trail off, looking unsure for a moment, then sigh. “But most of the guys will take this with a grain of salt, except for Jasper. He’s going to lose his fucking mind, mostly because he’s been adamant that you’re hiding something.”

“Well, he’s right—which he’ll love—but not about what,” I reply with a rueful expression. “I’m not a goddamn spy for Lucian or his father. I am, however, keeping a monster secret that’s tripping his radar. I don’t imagine he’ll be easy to get acceptance from.”

X wrinkles their nose. “Not for the reason you think, but yes, he’s going to feel betrayed. Jasper is an odd mix of strategic logic and damaged heart. He’ll know why you did it, but will struggle with feeling like he’s been made a fool of. It won’t matter that you had very solid reasons for doing this.”

My laugh is dry as I nod. “Yeah, that’s what I figured. But I can’t tell him when he’s barely tolerating me as a guy; if he changes his tune suddenly, it will become obvious that there’s a reason. I don’t want the rest of these jackasses at Discordia looking too closely at me until my powers emerge or whatever. Dank says that’s for the best.”

And I’m trusting the kindly old demon with my safety, so I hope to shit he’s right.

“It makes a lot more sense now that you’ve sort of befriended him, you know.”

I arch a brow at X as we walk to his door. “Why’s that?”

“I don’t know for sure, but I’ve heard that demons with his skills and experience are asked to forego relationships to ensure they are solely dedicated to the royal family they serve. He probably always wanted a daughter and you’ve… I don’t know… activated that in him?”

“You think? Hell, I’ve never been able to get any of the stupid fosters to see me like one of their family members. I have no clue how I’d manage getting an ancient skull-head demon to do so.” I duck my head, rubbing my hand on my chest as a fluttery feeling lodges there.

Of course, I doubt any of them could get warm fuzzy feelings about a guy with a fiery skullhead, either, so it was probably my fault we didn’t connect.

“Aw, that’s cute, Kit Kat! You’re happy the crusty old sawbones likes you.” X beams, reaching out to ruffle my hair and I’m surprised when it doesn’t bother me.

Pulling back with a wry look, I scold them. “You can’t do things that will tip anyone off that our relationship has changed suddenly. They’ll notice and ask why. Get it together, man.”

“Ugh, this is going to be so insanely hard,” they grumble as we shut the door behind us. “I won’t spill just because I know, but knowing and having the b-a-r-g-a-i-n will make me feel a kinship I can’t express.” The cobra shifter hisses in annoyance as we approach my dorm, waiting until I push my finger on the scanner to enter.

Somehow, they’re even more adorable when they’re pouting.

My skin heats in response, making me speed up my gait as I head for my room to change. “Wait here with the others, X, and I’ll change for dinner.”

“Kit Kat, wait?—”

Oriel’s voice almost makes me pause, but I know I have to be alone for a minute to calm myself. This was a lot of emotion and pent-up panic at once; I might feel okay with the pact now, but the danger it poses will catch up to me. My brain is racing with possibilities and I have to breathe for a few minutes before I can interact with the rest of the guys. Dottie scrambles up to my feet as I go in my room, managing to follow before I shut the door behind me.

Leaning against it, I close my eyes and suck in a long, deep breath then hold it. As my muscles relax one by one, I let it out slowly, using the quiet to gather the roiling emotions inside of me. I hoped to avoid admitting my secret to anyone, but I knew somewhere inside of me that it wasn’t likely to stay hidden forever. I even considered telling O and Salem after they showed me their demons, but I resisted because the longer I’m here without a problem, the harder it will be for anyone to claim I caused a problem. If they can’t say I’m a problem, they can’t ship me off to Miss Mean Girl Demon Prep or whatever simply because I don’t have a dick.

Gender segregated schools are such archaic bullshit, anyway.

“Just breathe, Kit,” I murmur to myself as my heart rate finally starts to fall.

Dottie climbs up my legs, making her way to my shoulder so she can hug my neck tightly. I reach up to pet her head, smiling as the calm washes over me. The little animal is perfect for me and despite the way she fell into my lap, I refuse to question it. I never would have gotten through this first month without her help.

Hopefully, she continues to keep me just sane enough to get my demon side so I can survive even longer.

1 ? My word is my blood; my blood is my oath, forever.