Stuck in the Middle with You
Xerxes
I feel like a wrung-out dish rag—and that’s being kind. Whatever the fuck Kit Kat did in the arena was powerful enough that trying to counter the effects while battling totally blasted my reserves. I don’t think anything like this has happened since I was a hatchling; my powers are typically far beyond the scope of my peers.
And she doesn’t even know the extent of her abilities yet, which is terrifying and hot at the same time.
I’ve started referring to KK in the feminine in my brain to help myself adjust to my confirmed suspicions. It’s partially because I know she’ll have to spill the beans to everyone eventually and partially because I haven’t been interested in a femme-presenting being so far. In fact, Annie’s the only one I’ve ever given a shit about, so despite everyone assuming I’m gay, I’ve always suspected I was more demi than anything else. But I hate labels that aren’t on clothing, so I often allow people to choke on their own misconceptions rather than correct them.
Educating people isn’t my fucking job, and I’m not giving away emotional labor for free. Unlike Kit, I haven’t been forced to spend a great deal of my life explaining how I work in order to get what I need. That shit is exhausting and I don’t blame her for putting up walls a million miles high to keep assholes out. My brothers have always accepted me for exactly who and how I am, without question, so I’ve been lucky in that respect. My family is a different story, but I stopped giving a shit about their bullshit a long time ago unless it directly impacted me.
Annie has a similar relationship to his bio donors, and we’re aligned in that respect.
Attraction to KK, though? That’s a different story altogether. He definitely believes he’s one thing, and this is going to rock him a bit. I feel bad not telling him, but it’s not my story to share and I won’t push Kit into doing so before she’s ready. I will subtly nudge my love to open up to her, though, and perhaps she will do the same. Playing matchmaker is one of my fortes, despite not practicing the skill often because I worry about abusing my powers. I don’t like allowing the Lust lineage to cross lines I believe should be negotiated before they’re crossed.
Licking my lips, I wait for my new secret obsession to continue her tale after besting Jasper in a verbal spar about his lack of control in the arena. She looks worried, so I give her an encouraging smile, weak as it may be. The expression she gives me is grateful, and my chest tightens.
Damn, I like when she looks at me like that.
“Okay. Jasper was off-the-rails; we’re in agreement.” Kit pauses and winks at the growly Prince, which only makes his scowl deeper. “The group was split up across the field by the opponent list, and on the far right, my group was closest to Salem’s and X’s. Annie was on the other side and Oriel was toward the middle with Zavida.”
“That sounds accurate,” Annie muses. “Being all the way at the other end made me concerned about the reach of the spell, but we didn’t have options. That much was obvious in your tone, Jas.”
The dragon nods sharply. “I could not deviate; that is true.”
Another fucking geas, it seems. Darkstar needs to be tortured until he cries like a baby.
Kit sucks in a breath, then lets it out slowly. “I was doing the best I could against the idiots using magic. But it amped up as the battle went on, so I did what Anton told me to. That felt like it… fizzled out? And the more I tried, the harder it got to keep up with the fuckers coming for me. They definitely weren’t treating this as training and their bullshit trash talk confirmed it.”
“What. Did. They. Say?” Oriel snarls as he and Salem come back from refilling the drinks.
Even Jasper gives him a surprised look, and I grin to myself. Kit Kat has even the most lackadaisical of my caliphate up in arms at the merest slight; I’m going to enjoy watching these emotionally stunted royals figure out how the fuck to deal with their shit without fucking this up.
“Stupid shit about why you guys picked me as your ‘boyfriend’ and how excited the dumbass was to fuck me up.” Kit rolls his eyes and leans back in his chair when the room fills with growls. “It’s what every dumbass motherfucker says when they come for me, by the way, and very much like what human asswipes say when they’re about to violate you in some way. I’m definitely used to that attitude, but this shithead seemed to also think he’d get rewarded for ending me. Very Bond villain monologue stuff.”
Jasper’s eyes flash with his dragon and for a second, I hold my breath. That’s never a good sign and the Prince already lost his grip once today. I clear my throat, hoping to distract his animal. “You think he meant Lucian?”
She almost shrugs, but seems to remember at the last second that she has an injured shoulder. “I mean, I guess? I was so… overwrought that he didn’t get a chance to elaborate. I sort of… threw the knife things and then…”
“Then what?” Slash asks, his expression unreadable. “What happened next, little demon?”
Swallowing hard, Kit pauses before answering. “Well, they hit him with more accuracy than I expected and… I don’t know. His eyes got scared as whatever magic they were infused with took hold. He was definitely screaming in agony and the more he did, the happier this part of me got.”
We’re all quiet as that sinks in, but only Salem is brave enough to ask, “What part? What do you mean, Kit Kat? Is this a new thing?”
“I…” Her head dips and the kinkajou moves from its post above Kit’s head to snuggle into her neck. That seems to help and when she finally looks up, there’s a guilty expression on her features. “I’ve had a darkness in me since I was young. There’s this small piece of me that was always angry about my life and how everyone—the system and the adults—treated me. Until the incident, I mostly squashed it because human kids are taught that kind of anger is a bad thing. Admitting to it would definitely keep you in group homes, not foster placements. Both suck, but the former is much worse.”
Oriel walks over, kneeling next to her chair as he shakes his head. “Humans are dumb, KK. Anger is healthy; it’s how you deal with it that’s good or bad.”
“Well, I know that now . All the damned therapy after the… thing… taught me the difference. But I also struggled with that fury and white-hot rage a lot more once I was violated. It was a louder voice in my mind, and a darker joy in my gut when I saw people get what I felt they deserved. The sense of justice and vengeance was so deep that it worried me. I kept my big yap shut to the therapists and learned to shove it as deep as I could—until today.”
Slash grunts, crossing his arms over his chest before his toothy grin spreads. “Your demon.”
Glad I’m not the one who said it.
Kit’s eyes widen as she looks at each of us in turn, seeking confirmation of her simple declaration. “Seriously? I’m not secretly a psychopath?”
Jasper bursts out laughing, earning himself a haughty glare. It doesn’t bother him, though, because he knows something she doesn’t and it’s making his petty side happy. “Shrimp, you’re no more a psychopath than I’m a pretty princess.”
Now everyone is laughing and Kit is burrowing further into her blankets with a bright red face, so I step in. “All jokes aside, Kit Kat—Jasper’s right. Your basic knowledge of things from therapy probably made you do internet research and well, you just assumed incorrectly because you didn’t have all the information possible.”
Zavida finally pops out from behind his tails at the Prince’s feet, nodding eagerly. “Guaranteed, X. The human internet is stuffed with bullshit about psychology that is referencing very common supernatural behaviors. It’s why they try to gather up lost ones of the different species and drop them in enclaves so they don’t get misdiagnosed and imprisoned like the X-Men .”
“Ohhhhh,” Kit says, understanding filling her gaze. “I mean, that’s probably not all of the bad people up there, but that definitely makes some shit make sense.”
Zavida smiles shyly. “You’d be amazed how many exceptional or evil humans weren’t humans at all. Between the Society and all the leaders of various realms, things are kept as tightly guarded as possible. But shit slips and then… a lot of retconning has to happen to provide logical excuses for them.”
She holds her hand before he can continue. “Okay, okay. Not yet. I have to take things a little bit at a time, Zav. I’m already reeling from the new spin on mythology, this place’s existence, and now I have magic. I mean… I really can’t take more world rocking at the moment.”
There’s an odd glint to her eyes as she looks at each of us in turn and I wonder what’s behind that. Are our real personalities versus the images we project also causing her to have dissonance? Perhaps so, but she has to get to know the real us for a multitude of reasons. That, I can’t soften for our new member, as it will build trust over time. Kit will have to process that on her own, unfortunately.
But that doesn’t seem like everything and I can’t put my finger on it—yet.
“Okay. So this ‘darkness’ has always been your demon trying to communicate with you, but you didn’t know it. What else, shrimp? What happened when the demon was able to wrest control?”
“I’m getting there, Jasper. Calm down,” she snaps. He frowns, then Kit sighs. “Sorry. You asked like a normal person, but that tidbit you guys just dropped is making my anxiety spike. I shouldn’t have been shitty.”
“Holy fuck, that’s both of them. It really is a Satanic miracle,” Oriel mutters.
“Not helpful,” I chide the crow shifter weakly. “Don’t ruffle their feathers or they’ll start taking chunks out of each other again.”
Dottie moves from Kit’s neck, shaking a tiny fist and chittering loudly. That makes O chuckle and he holds up his hands defensively. “Okay, bitty brawler. I get it. Don’t tease him right now. Message received.”
“I cannot believe you guys talk to that rat,” Jasper grumbles. “It’s insane.”
Zavida clears his throat, his face pained as he looks up at the Prince. “Not really, Jas. Familiars are very intelligent; they often have the ability to understand their companion perfectly. It’s possible being in the caliphate means that extends to us as well. I’d have to do more research but…”
Kit curses under her breath, then mutters, “I knew she could understand me! I thought I was nuts at first.”
“You might be, but not for that reason,” Zavida says with a tiny grin.
I really enjoy how she brings everyone in our family out of their shells; it’s refreshing as fuck.
“Bad Zavvie!” she scolds and a low, dark growl echoes in the room. The emerging demon whips her head to follow the sound and frowns at Jasper. “What the fuck is your problem now? Even X said we were doing well, and now you want to spoil it?”
Jasper’s dragon flashes in his eyes as he drops a hand to the kitsune’s head and ruffles his messy hair. “You do not get to call him that, nor scold him. That is not your place, shrimp.”
I blink, realizing Kit knows fuck all about BDSM roles and definitely not as they work between demons like us. Jas is going to rip her a new asshole because she inadvertently crossed a major boundary. Before he can pounce, I cut in. “KK, you know how some of us share your nickname?”
“Yeah, but Salem bitched at first.”
Salem coughs and has to cover his mouth, so I continue helping. “Well, there’s a reason why our animals or demons don’t like that concept. It might be a bit much for you at the moment, but it’s pretty unnatural for such a moniker to be shared. They prefer their own personal term of endearment, so to speak.”
Her eyes narrow and she squints at Slash. “Is that why you always call me ‘little demon?’ That’s yours?”
He nods then cocks his chin at Jasper. “He uses shrimp.”
“Huh. So you two suck at sharing and the others have evolved? That tracks.”
Jasper growls again, and this time, Annie jumps in. “No, their animals are the bigger predators and therefore prone to being… demanding. It’s very likely everyone will find their own eventually and Salem will feel much better. But the point here is that the name you used is very personal for the Prince for a multitude of reasons that you may learn some other time.”
“Not fucking likely,” Jasper mutters.
“Maybe.”
Everyone but Kit looks at Zavida in surprise and his face flames immediately, sending him back into his tails fast enough to be a red blur of motion.
I’ll be damned twice now—even the most submissive dude in our group just defied the Prince for the girl who has no idea what she’s gotten herself into.
This is going to be so very, very fun to watch unfold.