Quiet Burn (Discordia University #2)

One Step At A Time

Salem

W e spent the rest of the evening eating dinner and studying. Kit Kat was visibly shaken by the upcoming trip, and though I know my brothers wanted to discuss it until we all zonked out in our spots, he was definitely not ready for it. I suggested we watch a recent movie and Zav scrambled to go grab his laptop so we could pick something that would help us make sense of the place above the surface.

None of us besides KK have been there much—some not at all—so it was a good idea.

Slash grumbled that he would have to ‘hide himself’ and Jasper agreed, making Kit shake his head ruefully. He informed us all that unless we were going to a supernatural community, we would absolutely have to hide any spare parts or start a panic. Oriel looked like he wanted to ask follow-up questions, but the kid just snuggled into his chair further, pulling his blanket up, and I glared until everyone shut up.

This morning has been just as tense—he seems like he’s as jittery as a StyX fiend and I’m not sure how to help him. As he pours a coffee, I arch a brow and finally give in. “Uh, Kit Kat? Do you think caffeine is… a good idea right now? You already seem set to blow at any second.”

His head swivels and I swear to fuck, it’s like that possessed little girl in the poorly done human movie. The absolute evil in that glance makes my poof shrivel up like a cotton ball. “I don’t need baby-sitters, Salem. I’m perfectly capable of deciding what I can or cannot handle.”

“Well, yes, but, um…” I rub the back of my neck, trying not to respond to this tiny dude like I would Jasper’s wrath despite the similarities in their behavior. “You’re just… it feels like you’re practically vibrating. That’s how StyX heads feel when they’re running around and I don’t know if it’s your anxiety or being up there or worry…. I didn’t want it to be worse for you.”

Kit frowns, waving off the concern to ask, “What the hell is StyX? I am never going to learn how to be one of you guys. There just aren’t enough hours in the day.”

Of course that’s what he would focus on.

“Premier party drug down here. Bad stuff, very addictive. Makes demons super paranoid and shaky, but also gets used to boost energy for shit like exams or sex or whatever. Not my thing, but we saw a lot of people using it in secondary school.” I shrug and think about it for a moment. “We haven’t here because we’re not going out to parties to make noise at Discordia.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Kit sips the coffee then wrinkles his nose, adding more berry sweetener to it. “Does it hurt us in the long run?”

“Probably? Anton and X would be better resources on the whole socio-political tie-in stuff. They’re the ones that picked everything we attended and Jasper laid down the rules and shit. I went because I had to; that shit isn’t my jam.”

He tucks his chin, smiling at me for the first time since we got up. “Not mine, either. My issue was at a party, and um… I haven’t been to one since. That is, except for that damn Halloween thing where Jasper’s cockgobbling father got in my face.”

I grin broadly as he dumps more Cantu berries into his coffee. “You should add some of that Dark Cow to smooth out the Hellfire beans. They’re spicy as fuck.”

“Could have told me before I took a drink,” he mutters, stomping over to the fridge. He sighs as he pulls out the container of black dairy, then his shoulders scrunch. “I’m sorry, Salem. I’m being a pill because I hate the thought of going back up there.”

“Even though everyone down here wants to kill you?”

His scowl is cute as he pours the creamer, then puts it away. “Not everyone. Just… mostly everyone. But yes, despite that, I was so adrift on the surface. I’m not popular here, but I am starting to feel like I fit for the first time in my life. So I’d prefer not to take steps backwards, you know?”

Walking over to Kit, I lean my hip against the counter as I look down at him. He’s frowning into his mug like he’s trying to figure something out. I reach out and lift his chin, smiling as his eyes meet mine. “KK, you’re not going to become an outcast just because we go up there. You know we’re only portaling up to root around for clues about your past and what’s going on with the Games.”

Something odd flashes in his gaze and his expression turns to panic. “We can’t go back to where I was living—like, not at all. It wasn’t where I was born, anyway, and um… I don’t think I can deal with seeing those people. Please, Salem. Please don’t let Jasper choose there.”

The sudden fear radiating off him worries me, and I don’t know what else to do except pull him into my arms. Hugging him tightly, I wait for the little tremors to fade before I pull back. I don’t get why going back to the town he lived in before the doc snatched him up has Kit flipping out, but it’s obviously a big trigger. The way he’s breathing tells me that he’s trying extremely hard not to fall into an attack and he’s gripping me like he might fall off the edge if he lets go.

I like it, so I have to think of really gross things before the poof unshrivels.

“Salem?” Kit whispers as I work to get a grip on myself. “Why are you suddenly like a statue? You give good hugs and um, I was glad you gave me one. But if that’s not okay, then?—”

Gritting my teeth, I look up at the ceiling for help. I know there’s nothing there but I need to keep control of myself so I don’t make this panic attack worse. But when I look down at his unsure expression and the pouty bottom lip, I realize I’m definitely going to lose that battle. My arms tighten on Kit and I duck down, brushing my lips over his without so much as a word.

He squeaks and I almost pull back, but a soft sigh keeps me in place. I think the sound means he’s okay with the light kiss, so I do it again, being careful not to increase the pressure unless he initiates it. Our breath mingles, warm as Kit melts into the embrace with so much trust that I can feel my heart thumping like a bass beat,

I don’t want to scare him, but I definitely don’t want to break away.

“ Um, Salem?” he whispers almost into my mouth. “Are we… is this…”

The poor guy is so nervous and unsure. It makes me want to rip whoever did this to him into tiny pieces and feed them to Slash in his shark form as chum. I don’t care if I have to share with my brothers as they climb on board this train one by one—I just want to help KK heal. His awkward, broken pieces call to mine in a way I’ve never felt before.

“I think we are, roomie. Is that okay?”

His silence makes my gut clench, but I wait as patiently as I can while he muddles through it. When he gets there, he murmurs, “I think so. I’m not panicking and… I like you, Salem. But…”

Leaning forward, I bite his lower lip gently, then pull back. “But what?”

The shiver makes me smile, but Kit’s hands hold on tightly as he replies. “I… like… others, too. And I don’t want to hurt?—”

Oh, this problem. Luckily, it’s not one at all.

“Kit Kat, you’re one of us now—that means all of us. No one else is invited, but you belong with our caliphate and anything within our family is okay. Does that make sense?”

He sighs, his fingers pressing into my sides rhythmically as he thinks. I know this is hard for him on so many levels—his kind aren’t often polyamorous, plus he’s got buckets of trauma to boot. But I think I’ve gotten through to him when he raises his dark lashes enough for me to see his eyes sparkling with gold flecks that I’m pretty sure are his magic.

“You’re sure that’s going to fly with… whomever?”

I grin, moving my hand to brush my knuckles over his cheek. “Yep. I’m very sure, and I wouldn’t lie to you. In fact, some may enjoy more… group-focused activities in the future.” Kit looks like a demon being yanked to the pits, his expression full of shock and fear. I tilt my head, smirking a little as I whisper, “Like… maybe if Oriel joined our hugs sometimes?”

I feel the second he tenses, then the subsequent relaxation as his brain catches up. Kit nods a little and the flush on his face spreads as it gets redder. “I don’t think I’d mind that. I mean, you know. When we’re, um, alone in the room. I don’t think I can… not with other people watching.”

Laughing, I boop his nose playfully. “You’re not ready for an audience when you hug someone? Dear me, whatever shall I do with you, you miniature prude?”

“I’m not a prude,” Kit pouts, his brows drawing together in a dark frown. “But I am fucked up in so many ways I can’t count them, and you’re probably better off not tying your boat to my ramshackle dock.”

Feeling saucy and a little drunk with the excitement about this conversation, I pinch his hip lightly. “Listen up, you tiny firecracker. I’ll let you run the show when it comes to being comfortable and feeling safe, but I will not put up with you downing yourself. I know you have more self-esteem than that, so I’m going to believe that it’s because this situation makes you nervous.”

Kit Kat nods, brushing our noses and lips as he moves, then murmurs huskily, “There was… a lot of self-hatred I had to work through after the… thing. And um, when I reported it, that sort of ramped up from outside people, too. So it’s hard not to fall back into that place, I guess.”

I pull back, though I don’t want to, cupping his jaw in my palm. “That motherfucker was a dirty son of a bitch and anyone who said a damn thing to you isn’t worth a damn. I know you’re not ready to tell that story yet and that’s okay, but when you are, all of the caliphate will support you, KK, even Prince Dickhead.”

“Oh no,” he says and his eyes close. “We don’t have to tell him about this, right? I’m just… not with the trip today, and…”

“Kit, calm down. No, we don’t have to tell him.”

His eyes open and he gives me a shy, grateful smile as he looks up at me. “Um, but if he’s not okay, we can tell Oriel. He’s approved.”

My lips twist and I arch a brow. “I’m not enough already? You’re breaking my heart, firecracker.”

“Ugh, is that going to stick? I know you guys said a pet name for each of you, but…”

I shrug, brushing hair out of his eyes. “I kinda like it, so maybe. You definitely blow up when your fuse is lit.”

He’s about to respond when I hear footsteps in the hallway. It would take a shifter hearing to pick it up, but I let go, moving back reluctantly to honor his request about being discreet for a while. “Salem!”

I frown, not understanding why he’s saying my name like that. “What?”

“Did you pull away because there was stomping in the hall?”

My eyes widen and I nod, grinning again. “I did. You said you wanted?—”

“I heard them, too.”

Hot damn. Now that’s what I call a good fucking morning.