Quitting the Quarterback (The Nash Brothers #4)

CHAPTER 30 Tanner Banks

Rehab Before Romance

I can’t hide it from Miller.

He’s not just my brother. He’s my twin , and I’m surprised he hasn’t sensed it by this point.

Or maybe he has, and he’s choosing to ignore it. Maybe he’s chalking it up to me going through this injury. Maybe he’s treading lightly around me. I’m not sure I like people treading lightly around me. I get it, but my patience for it is wearing thin. Just because my knee is all sorts of fucked doesn’t mean the rest of me is.

But this morning, things feel a little different.

The swelling has gone down significantly. I think the swimming really helped, and it doesn’t hurt quite like it did. But that’s not what feels different today.

I didn’t sleep well last night because I was worried about Cassie. She abruptly ended the call, and she didn’t call me back. She didn’t text me. I waited with my phone in my hand for a good twenty minutes before I finally gave up.

I’m sure it was nothing…but what if it wasn’t? What if something’s wrong with one of the kids ?

A million scenarios ran through my mind. What does she do if one of them needs help in the middle of the night and she’s the only one there? She’d have to drag one of them out of bed, or she’d have to wait on someone to get there to be with her.

Maybe she’d even have to call her ex-husband.

I don’t know much about him. She hasn’t detailed much about their relationship other than the fact that they were together for a long, long time, he was her first, and he cheated on her.

I can’t begin to imagine how he could do that to her—to them . How he could destroy the sweet little family. How he could betray his wife and children that way.

She’s such a catch—smart, funny, gorgeous—and she created these two little humans who are about as perfect as she is. I couldn’t stop replaying Luca as he flipped into the pool or Lily as she grinned at me after she made her way across the pool, one of her bottom teeth missing from the smile since she just lost her first tooth a few weeks ago.

He gave that all up. And for what?

I’m not sure, but it doesn’t make any sense to me.

I don’t know why I find myself wanting to pick up what he gave away. Not just Cassie, though it definitely starts with her. But the whole thing, from grilling hot dogs for the kids to the fits over having to turn off the tablets because it’s time to go. It was the messy moments of imperfection that stick out, and it was that feeling of loss when they left.

It was my first day meeting them.

I’m getting ahead of myself. Obviously. Very far ahead of myself. But it’s a vision of the future I didn’t allow myself to picture before, and now I can see it in vivid detail.

Maybe it won’t be with them. It probably won’t be. I have a feeling Cassie is going to fight her feelings when reality kicks in about her career .

But maybe it will be.

Maybe we’ll fight our way to the end together after all.

And it’s those thoughts that prompt me to mention it to my brother.

“You sleep okay?” he asks as he walks into the kitchen to make his breakfast.

I shake my head from where I sit at the kitchen table with a bowl of Greek yogurt filled with granola and berries.

“Thinking about how you should’ve been at the game or what?” he asks.

I shake my head again. “Or what.”

“Care to elaborate?” His head is in the fridge, and I wait for him to turn around and face me. He sets the container of Greek yogurt down onto the counter.

I clear my throat. “I’m developing very strong feelings for my physical therapist.”

His jaw slackens a little. “Cassie?”

I nod. I know I don’t need to tell him to keep his mouth shut. He wouldn’t tell anybody even if it wasn’t about me. He doesn’t gossip, and he doesn’t spread rumors.

“Remember the one-night stand in Vegas in July?” I ask.

He nods. Of course he does. We talked about it at length.

“It was her,” I mutter.

“It was her ?”

I nod.

“What are the chances?” he asks in wonder.

“I don’t know.” I sigh as I debate how much to say, and then it all comes tumbling out of my mouth. “I’ve often wondered that myself, but I’ve also recently started subscribing to the theory that there are other dimensions at work in our lifetime, and people are meant to cross our paths more than once. For whatever reason, we met that night, and then I hurt myself, and here we are again. ”

“So you think it was fate that you’d get hurt and end up as her patient?” he asks, and when I nod, he makes a face and shakes his head. “Nah, man. I don’t buy it. It’s a coincidence.” He spoons some yogurt into the bowl.

I feel like of the two of us, he’s the more logical one. He’s more rational. He’s less likely to make decisions based on emotions. I always thought that described me better, but maybe my theories on emotions are starting to change a little.

Maybe they’re not just there to get in the way. Maybe they do serve a purpose, and I’ve spent so much time ignoring them and pushing them away rather than dealing with them. I’m only starting to realize that now.

My anger and frustration over my injury are both fueling me to get to work on gaining my strength back in my knee, for one thing. Or maybe that’s my resilience. My entire personality is being a confident achiever, and a large part of that is bouncing back from setbacks.

Whatever the case, I think Miller is wrong. I don’t think it has anything to do with coincidence, and maybe that’s my confidence speaking out, too.

“But either way, it doesn’t matter,” he says, his voice gentle. I know he’s being mild to brace me for the next words that’ll be harsh. “You can’t work with her if you’re banging her.”

I sigh. I know he’s right…in theory.

But I’ve enjoyed getting to know her over the last week. We’ve spent nearly six hours a day together every day, and instead of wanting her to leave, I find myself wanting her to stay a little longer.

That means something to me.

I’ve never felt that way about a woman before—not even Heather.

I’m becoming addicted to this woman, and I’ve only slept with her once. That’s definitely new .

“Why not?” I ask. I mean… technically we’re not banging. We did once, and then we had some phone sex last night. But that’s it.

“It’s an ethics issue for her, man.” He grabs the granola and pours it into his bowl. “Do you want her to get in trouble?”

“Nobody has to ever find out.”

“But what if someone does? It’s a bad look for her. It could be her license on the line. Her entire career. Didn’t you say she’s recently divorced? Don’t you think she’s trying to build a reputation for herself? How would it look if she’s fucking the first patient who came her way?”

“But we were together before my injury,” I point out. I stir my yogurt without taking a bite, my appetite suddenly gone. It was as if the hope I felt hinged on Cassie, and with my brother trying to talk some sense into me, the hope is disappearing into thin air. “Feelings got stronger as we spent more time together.”

“That doesn’t help matters. You both should’ve been honest from the start. And what if something goes wrong with your recovery? Don’t you think you’d blame her, and that would be the end for you two?” He’s making solid points, but I don’t particularly want to hear any of them. “Listen, I’m going to meet with a few of the running backs today for workouts, so I’ll stay out of your hair. But talk to her, man. Tell her what you’re thinking and how you’re feeling, and maybe if you’re honest, the two of you can navigate this together.” He walks over, and he squeezes my shoulder. “You know how much I just want you to be happy.”

“Then pipe down about all this,” I mutter.

He presses his lips together. “I’m sorry, but you need to hear the truth, and you know I’m always going to give it to you straight. ”

“Yeah,” I mutter, and I push my bowl of yogurt away. I prefer the Miller who’s full of banter than the one doling out advice I don’t want to hear.

“You gonna eat that?” he asks, and I nod toward it as if to tell him to have at it, and then I grab a bag of ice and head to the couch.

Miller’s gone by the time the doorbell rings, and I walk over to let her in. She’s standing there looking a little frazzled, and I’m feeling a little frazzled after my conversation with my brother.

I open the door a little wider, and the second I shut the door behind her, I pull her into my arms.

Jesus. She just fits . I’m not sure how or why, but she does.

I hold her close, and I kiss the top of her head as she sinks into me. It’s quiet and intimate, warm and inviting.

“Why’d you hang up?” I ask.

“Lily had a bad dream. I felt…” She trails off and clears her throat before she finishes that sentence. “Caught. Speaking of which…is your brother here?” she asks into my chest.

“No.”

We’re both quiet a few seconds, and then she pulls back and tilts her head up toward me. I angle down to look at her, and a heated moment passes between us.

“I told him about us,” I admit.

“About…us?” she echoes.

I nod. “About our night in Vegas. About, uh…”

“Last night?” she guesses.

I shake my head. “No. About the feelings I’m having for you.” I duck my head a little at the admission.

She raises a brow. “Feelings of annoyance that I make you put in the work?”

I chuckle as I shake my head, and I lower my mouth to hers. It’s a soft, tender moment of mouth to mouth, no tongue, no urgency. Just the two of us here in an intimate moment as we press our lips together.

I pull back to say, “Not at all. Strong, intense feelings. Feeling like I might be falling.”

Her eyes widen a little as she stares at me. “Falling?” she squeaks.

“Yeah. Falling.”

She pulls back from my grasp, and I’m worried I’ve overstepped. “My God, Tanner. I thought you just, you know…wanted me. Because our night together was so hot.”

“I do,” I protest.

“No, you said falling . That implies you want more than just sex.”

“I do,” I say, my voice less of a protest and much more resolute than the first time I said the same words.

She stares at me with some mix of confusion and horror, and I’m not really sure which is winning.

“Is this for real?” she asks. “Or is it like, you know, I’m helping you get better, and that whole transference thing?”

“It’s not that,” I say, and I grip my hair in a bit of frustration. “I know it’s not that because I couldn’t stop thinking about you after our night in Vegas. I’ve done the one-night thing before. Plenty of times.”

“Rub it in a little harder,” she mutters dryly.

“I’m sorry. I’m only saying it to add that I never left one of those and had another thought about the woman I was leaving behind. I know that makes me sound like a douchebag, but it’s the truth. And then you walked into my life, and something changed.”

She draws in a deep breath. “I, uh…” She shakes her head a little. “I just got out of a marriage. I have no idea what I’m looking for, no idea if I want to get married again someday or get into another relationship or…whatever. Any of it. I have kids. And we barely know each other.”

It’s a hit to my ego that she doesn’t feel the same way, and a former version of me would clap back at that. But this new Tanner is someone I don’t even recognize. “We’ve spent hours upon hours getting to know each other over the last week, Cass. You can’t say we barely know each other. And you can’t say you don’t feel it too because I know you do.”

She presses her lips together. “Of course I feel it. I felt it like crazy yesterday when you were with the kids. You were so natural with them, and it pulsed this feeling in the pit of my stomach I’m just not used to.”

I glance out the window behind her as I think back to how much I enjoyed them. “I had a great time with them,” I say. I don’t want to scare her with the scary thoughts that are moving in my own mind about how I enjoyed feeling like a little family.

Maybe it’s because it feels so goddamn much like my entire childhood was a lie. Her honesty with her kids is refreshing, and I feel like I want to be a part of it.

She sighs, and I need to touch her again. I pull her against me without words, and she speaks first.

“I was planning to say this to you yesterday, but then your brother was here, and…well, anyway. I want to see you. I want to be with you if you want it too, but I can’t do that when I’m treating you.” She pulls back and looks at me. “I need you to choose if you want me to be your physical therapist or if you want me to be something else.”

I drop my forehead down to hers. “What if I want both?”

Before she can answer, my mouth collides with hers.

She resists for a beat, and then she melts into me for a moment. But ultimately, the resistance wins. She puts both hands on my chest and pushes herself back .

She’s about to say something when she seems to think twice about it, and her mouth finds mine again only for her to pull back again. She’s clearly wrestling with the right thing to do here, and I make it easier for her by letting her go.

“We need to set some ground rules,” she says quietly.

I nod. I know she’s right, and the last thing I want to do is jeopardize her career. “Let’s get to work and talk it out while I stretch.”

She nods, and we head into the family room where we always do our work. She checks my progress and guides me through a few new exercises before we get a chance to talk.

“What were you thinking for ground rules?” I ask.

“Work time is work time. If we’re going to see each other, it has to be outside of our therapy sessions, and sessions remain professional.”

I wince at her words even though I know she’s right. I also know she’s busy after our sessions, and it won’t really be all that easy to date her. But I’ll take what I can get. “Okay. What else you got?”

“If either of us feels like we can no longer be objective, we stop working together.”

I clench my jaw. The last thing I want to do is to stop working with her. I’m not sure I’d let anyone else boss me around the way I’ve allowed her to. “Fine.”

“Nobody can know,” she says.

“Miller already knows.”

“Fine. Then nobody else can know.”

I nod. “Agreed. Anything else?”

“In the event of a situation that calls for it, I will prioritize your health over our relationship.”

My brows dip together. “Like what?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. Anything. If I think you need additional therapies or emotional support I can’t provide to you, I will recommend you to other professionals. Rehab before romance, baby. That’s going to be our motto.”

I scrunch my nose up in distaste. “I don’t like it, but if it’s what it takes to give this a try with you, then I’ll agree to all of it.”

Her face lights up at my words, and I know we just said therapy first…but I have the strongest urge to kiss her.

As if she can read my mind, she says, “Save it for two forty-six.”

And then we get to work.