Quitting the Quarterback (The Nash Brothers #4)

CHAPTER 36 Tanner Banks

Because of You

In a million years, I never thought I’d be excited for a physical therapist to arrive at my house to guide me through ACL surgery, yet here we are.

The doctors examined me and determined Cassie and I should keep doing what we’re doing. Now that we’re less than two weeks until the surgery, I plan to spend my daytime hours with her and my evening hours going to the training facility to be with my teammates.

It was a fairly rough road to get here mentally over the weeks that have passed since the injury, but what I told Cassie was true. She makes things lighter, and everywhere I go, I’ll arrive equipped with that light.

I’m concerned I’m banking all my hopes of recovery on her, but the only reason I have that hope is because of her. I want to work harder when she’s around. I want to get better faster.

Miller is here with us on Tuesday, though he’s mostly staying in his own room, probably playing video games or jerking off .

I pull her into me for a quick hug when she arrives, and she stiffens a little. Concern immediately darts through me.

“What’s wrong?” I ask cautiously.

She clears her throat as her eyes move away from me, and that concern flips to something a little darker.

“Cass, what’s going on?”

“First Alex told me he didn’t like the kids coming over to a patient’s house with me, and then he told me he misses me. But that’s not even the worst thing.” She sticks her tongue over her top teeth as if she’s warding off tears before she sucks in a breath. “One of the other PTs called me out in the middle of a meeting before you got in today. He asked Dr. Hayward why I got to be your therapist when I’m the newest member of the staff. And it hurt to be called out like that in front of everyone. He made it seem like I’m not good enough.”

“Oh, Cass,” I say softly, and I pull her back into my arms and press a kiss to the top of her head. “If it makes you feel any better, just before you got here, I was thinking about my recovery and how I’m working so goddamn hard because of you. I want to be better because of you, and I don’t just mean my knee.”

She pulls back to look up at me, and her eyes are misty.

“I have hope because of you. I’m lighter because of you. Theoretically, this should be the absolute worst time in my life between all the shit that I keep getting clobbered with, but it’s not. Because of you.”

She moves up to her tiptoes and presses her lips to mine.

I give in for a few beats before I rest my forehead to hers and draw in a fortifying breath. “So if anyone makes you feel not good enough, I just want you to know that you are more than good enough. You are everything, and the only reason I’m progressing the way I am is because you’re here to guide me through it.”

More words almost slip out. I love you .

But my fear stops me .

There’s only one other woman I’ve ever said that to, and she broke my heart. I don’t know if this is love or something else, but I’ve never felt so close to a woman before, and certainly not in such a short amount of time.

And it’s not just that. She’s a package deal. She has kids, a history, and an ex-husband. She’s been married before. She’s seven years older than me and just starting over.

Speaking of her kids…I don’t know if I’m in a place where I’m ready for that sort of life. I enjoyed one Sunday afternoon with them, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to commit to a woman with two kids. I don’t even know if I want kids. I haven’t known the truth about Eddie Nash and Charles Banks long enough to know if I want a family of my own.

But I have time to figure it out.

Does Cassie? She’s thirty-six. Does she want more kids? And if I want them with her—a question that should be really, really far into the future—how much time does she have left to have them?

On top of all that, this is her entire career we’re talking about. She’s just getting back into the swing of things, and she’s already running into trouble at her office. Because of me. Because I demanded home care and never thought in a million years that Dr. Hayward would assign her to me. But he did, and now we’re in this precarious position where I’m beyond the falling phase but too goddamn scared to admit that to her.

And besides all that, I don’t even know what this is for her. Is she just recklessly enjoying her freedom? Is she doing everything she can to help a patient? Is she living it up after being tied to her ex for half her life?

She presses her lips together, and then she backs away from me as she swipes at a tear that splashed down onto her cheek. “Great, now you made me cry,” she says with a laugh.

I thumb away her tears. “Sorry, but it’s the truth. ”

She presses her lips together. “Thank you, Tanner,” she says softly.

I lean in and press a gentle kiss to her cheek, and while I’m there, I murmur, “And for the record, that slimy ex-husband of yours can fuck all the way off.”

“And take a left and keep fucking off some more,” she agrees.

I laugh, and then I pull her in, shut the door behind her, and head to the training room so we can get to work on today’s exercises.