Quitting the Quarterback (The Nash Brothers #4)

CHAPTER 43 Tanner Banks

Cone Commander

Cassie seemed like she pulled back in the middle of dinner, and I’m not sure what happened or how I lost her. It was like she faded away when she mentioned her ex, and rage pumps through me that a single person could have that strong of an effect on her.

I suspect it’s more than that, and I’m surprised when she opts to head out when my parents do.

Maybe she’s just doing it for show for them since there really was no need for her to be here at dinner from the perspective of her being my physical therapist.

Or maybe I should take her at her word—that she doesn’t want to miss getting her kids down to bed tonight.

But she doesn’t call me on her way home, and she doesn’t call me once I assume the kids are down, either. It feels like something is off between us, so I text her even though it’s late.

Me: Thanks for joining me at dinner. Are you okay? I was hoping you’d stay for…dessert.

It’s nearly an hour before she replies .

Cassie: I’m okay. I’m sorry I left. Like I said, I wanted to be home to get the kids to bed.

I’m not sure what else to say to that. I feel a distance starting to span between us, and I don’t like it.

Me: Hope they went down easy.

Cassie: They did. My mom said Alex stopped by and was surprised I was out.

Me: Did they tell him where you were?

Cassie: No. I haven’t mentioned anything to them about us, but I’m worried he’s going to figure us out. This sneaking around…it’s a lot.

Me: I know it is. Maybe we don’t have to.

Cassie: If you want to continue working together, we do.

Me: Not if you quit and I hire you as my full-time personal trainer.

It’s not the first time I’ve mentioned it, and I can’t see any reason she has to say no.

Except the one she gives next.

Cassie: You know I can’t. I have lofty goals with this job, and I can’t put myself in a position where I’m relying on someone else to financially support me. I did it for the last eight years, and I can’t go back.

Me: I understand. But it’s not the same. I’d be paying you to perform a job.

Cassie: And what happens once you’re well and back on the field and running off to Vegas for your next one-night stand? What happens when someone a decade younger than me catches your eye?

My chest tightens at her words. She’s never expressed that sentiment to me before, but considering the fact that her slimy ex cheated on her combined with the way we met, I get it. She’s usually so confident, so sure of herself…but this is obviously her insecurities coming out.

Me: The only one my eyes are focused on is you, Cass.

She doesn’t reply, and I fear it’s because she doesn’t believe me .

My finger hovers over the call button. I want to say the words to her. I want her to know this isn’t just me clinging to our one night or to her because she’s taking care of me.

I’ve fallen for her hard, and I’m not going anywhere.

I’m not entirely sure the same can be said for her, though.

Is she just giving me what I want while I’m her patient? Is she the one who’s going to run off to Vegas for her next one-night stand? Is she projecting that onto me so she feels justified in doing it later?

I shouldn’t let her insecurities become mine, and yet that’s exactly what I find myself doing.

She’s pushing me away because she’s scared, and I need to figure out how to man up and not let her do that.

She seems okay on Sunday, but my head is in a bad space since it’s game day. I watch my brother and my teammates on the field and pine for the day when I get to be there with them.

I feel like I’m on a roller coaster ride over the next few weeks. Some days I’m up, some days I’m down. Some days I’m thrown for a loop, and some days feel like an uphill climb.

Things seem to settle between the two of us, but we’re focused on new stretches and exercises. With her training in sports medicine, she gives me massages, and I fight every single urge I have to request a happy ending.

It’s not easy.

November hits, and the weather starts to cool.

November is also the start of my after-school program.

The first Wednesday of the month is our first session, and I’m finally done with the crutches, but I still have to be careful. I’ve been deep in planning mode with former San Diego Storm wide receivers Bryce Morris and Thomas Scott, who signed on to run this entire season with occasional appearances by yours truly. I can’t wait to show up today and get this party started .

We end our therapy session a little early so I can head to the school and meet with the principal, and both Bryce and Thomas are waiting in the parking lot for me when I arrive. The three of us head in, and we’re given a warm reception from everyone in the front office. The principal takes us out to the field where we’ll meet every Wednesday, and Bryce starts setting up cones for the different drills we plan to run.

We had room for twenty-six kids, and the program sold out in minutes. The three of us wait for the kids to start to show up once the final bell rings, and they come barreling out to the field after school.

We get started right away on attendance, and I say a few words about working hard and grinding, and then we get moving on our first drill.

Bryce and Thomas explain what to do while I stand back and observe. Parents start to show up, too, some with younger siblings to watch our program. I spot Cassie, and I catch her eye and flash her a grin. She smiles back, and I immediately feel at ease.

I explain the drills as Bryce and Thomas demonstrate how to do them, and I find myself having a lot of fun.

After some fundamentals with cone drills, we move into some backpedaling and shuffling drills, and then we start a game of flag tag.

The kids are running around, laughing, and having a great time, and I wish I could run around some more with them. Instead, I walk along the field and talk one-on-one with kids while Bryce plays on one side and Thomas plays on the other.

I can’t wait to chat with Luca later about what he thinks about this whole thing, but I can see it on his face. He’s having a blast, and he’s learning about football at the same time. My chest feels warm at the thought that we could be making an impact on the next generation of football stars. This could be where they get their start, right here on this field. This could be one of their core memories as they look back on when it all began.

I glance over at Cassie, and I see her holding Lily in her arms almost like a baby, as Lily seems to be throwing some sort of fit, legs kicking as Cassie tries to talk to her rationally.

I walk slowly over toward them, and I can’t quite kneel down to be eye level with Lily, but I bend over at the waist.

“What’s the matter, Lilypad?” I ask, using the name I heard Cassie use once.

“She’s upset that her brother gets to play with you but she doesn’t.”

“Oh, man. I’m sorry, Lily. This program is for ages seven through ten. But you know what we need?”

Her eyes grow wide as she looks at me, and I scramble to come up with something she can do. “I need a cone commander. Do you know anyone who can handle that?”

“What’s a cone commander?”

“It’s someone who makes sure all the cones stay lined up where they need to be, and when we switch drills, it’s the person with the very important job of picking up the cones and bringing them to Mr. Morris. Wait a minute…do you think you could do it?” I ask as if the idea just occurred to me.

She stands from her mom’s lap and wipes her cheek before she nods solemnly. “I can do it.”

“Come on,” I say, and I hold out my hand for her. She slides her little hand into mine, and I glance at Cassie, who mouths thank you to me.

I shoot her a small smile. She doesn’t need to thank me. I gently squeeze Lily’s little hand, and I glance down at her to see her looking up at me. I grin as I lead her over toward a row of cones. “Ready, cone commander?”

“Ready,” she says with a resolute nod of her head .

“Okay, now just so you know, cone and commander both begin with the letter C, so if you hear me shout CC, that means you. Got it?”

She nods with those sweet little wide eyes again. “Got it.”

And that’s how I started calling Cassie’s daughter CC.