Quitting the Quarterback (The Nash Brothers #4)

CHAPTER 51 Cassie Fields

A Load of Horseshit

We spend Thanksgiving Day at my parents’ house with extended family, including Jess, her mom, and Dylan. I try to focus on all the things I’m thankful for.

My kids. My parents. Jess and my friends. My health. A roof over my head. There’s always a lot to be grateful for. And even though I try my hardest to focus on those things, Jess still calls me out when Dylan is keeping Luca and Lily occupied with a loud and boisterous game of Mario Party.

“You doing okay, Cassie?” she asks, bumping my shoulder with hers near the back of the kitchen. My mom and aunt are by the stove, our dads are outside checking the turkey they’re smoking, and our kids are busy. It’s just the two of us.

“Honestly? No.”

She rolls her eyes. “Then call him,” she says.

“I can’t. You know that.” I take a sip of wine as if it’ll help me feel any better, but nothing has over the last couple days.

“Why not?” she asks .

“Because it’s not just him. It’s losing him on top of losing my job. It’s feeling like an idiot for giving in when I knew it was wrong.”

“What if it wasn’t wrong?”

I flatten my lips. I don’t have a response to that. It had to be wrong if I was fired because of it.

Something was wrong, anyway. I shouldn’t have taken him on as a patient, and I knew that all along. But I couldn’t resist the temptation, and now I’m paying the price.

Jess sighs. “I know it sucks, mama. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I say, and I clink my glass to hers. We each take a sip, and she tosses an arm around me as she rests her head on my shoulder.

“I’m here for whatever you need.” She straightens.

“I know, and I appreciate you. It’s just new. I need a second to land and figure out where I go from here.”

She nods. “Have you thought about what you want to do?”

“About what?”

“About work.”

I shake my head. “It was always PT, and there’s no way anyone will hire me with that mark on my file.”

“You never know. Have you thought about training? What about at Lily’s gym?”

I lift a shoulder. It’s not a bad idea, and I know the owners of her gymnastics place are always looking for staff. But they’re looking for coaches, not for physical therapists. I don’t want to coach.

Still, it wouldn’t hurt to talk to them next time I’m there.

“I’ll think about it.”

“That’s the spirit. Now about this Tanner situation,” she says, and my mother chooses that moment to perk her ears. She saunters over toward us as my aunt moves to watch the kids play their game .

“There’s a Tanner situation?” she asks, a gleam in her eyes.

I give Jess one of those thanks a lot kind of glares, and I glance over at the kids, who are still occupied. “We were sort of seeing each other, but we’re not anymore.”

“Oh, come on, Cassandra. You were more than ‘ seeing each other,’” Jess says, putting air quotes around my words.

“And now we’re not,” I say pointedly.

“Have you told your mom any of this?” she asks.

I was really hoping not to get into this today, but here we are. I clench my jaw for a second, and then I tell my mom the truth. I keep my voice low so my kids won’t overhear, though with the cheering over by the television, I’m sure they won’t. “I was fired because my boss found out most likely via Alex that I was in a relationship with my patient.”

“Oh, Cassie,” my mom says, and she gives me the kind of warm, tight hug that pulses tears behind my eyes. “I’m so sorry. So you ended things with him?”

“I did,” I confirm. “It shouldn’t be this hard. If it’s right to be with someone, we shouldn’t have to sneak around and risk getting caught. Besides, I didn’t take the time I should have for myself after the divorce. All I wanted to do was succeed in my career and find a way to prove I didn’t need Alex or his money, and I’m back to square one. Only sadder this time around.”

A timer dings at the same time the game ends, and Lily loses to her brother, effectively ending the adult conversation. We eat, we give thanks, and my kids are in turkey comas, so we head home before I have to spend more time defending my life choices when I don’t even want to be talking about them at all. It’s earlier than we usually bolt after the holiday feast, but I’m exhausted and don’t have the energy to pretend I’m not.

Lily’s in the bath when the doorbell rings, and I blow out a breath as I head up to answer it. I glance through the peephole to see Alex standing there .

“What?” I hiss at him when I open the door.

“Happy Thanksgiving,” he says, and he holds up a small bouquet of flowers he brought with him.

He gave me flowers a lot when we were married. I didn’t know they were guilt flowers at the time, but I do now, and I narrow my eyes into a deep glare.

“What are these for?” I ask as he holds them out. I don’t accept them because I have a sneaking suspicion I already know.

“For Thanksgiving. I’m thankful we can coparent and remain a part of each other’s lives.”

“What a load of horseshit,” I mutter.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” And then something dawns on me.

Something I never even considered before.

“How’d you know we were back from my parents’ house?” I demand.

We usually stay another hour or two at a minimum on a holiday.

How did he know I wasn’t home all those weekends I spent with Tanner?

I can’t help it. My eyes move to the doorbell beside me, and they’re wide when I move to look at him. “Have you been spying on me on the Ring cam?”

“ Spying is a bit misleading, don’t you think? I’m just watching out for my family.”

What the hell?

“It was you, wasn’t it?” I demand. “You told Hayward about Tanner and me.”

“Tanner and you?” he asks innocently. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, come off it, Alex. I know it was you. You’ve been jealous of my relationship with him since the second I started treating him. Hell, since the second he was traded here and your son started idolizing him.”

His jaw locks for a beat, and he looks menacingly at me. “Your relationship? I thought you didn’t have one.”

I roll my eyes. The damage is already done. “You know damn well what happened, so stop acting like you don’t.” I reach over and rip that goddamn doorbell off the wall. I let it drop to the ground as I realize I’m not even safe anymore in my own home. What if he has other cameras here? “Get off my property.”

“I came to wish my children a happy holiday,” he says.

“You can speak with them when it’s your weekend.” I move to slam the door in his face, but he catches it before it closes.

“Fine,” he says. He holds up both hands. “Fine. You’re right, okay? I was jealous, and yes, upon occasion I checked the cam to see if you were coming or going. I’ll delete the app.”

“And running to Hayward?” I ask, folding my arms across my chest.

“It wasn’t just me. I had help.”

He had help ? Oh, that’s fresh.

“From?”

“Rick,” he admits.

I shake my head. “Fuck you,” I hiss, and then I really do close the door in his face. I bolt the lock, too, and I make a mental note to get a locksmith here next week to change the locks. Better yet, I’ll just put the godforsaken place up for sale. The whole idea of me staying here with the kids was so they could ride the same bus, go to the same school, and not have their lives completely upended because of the divorce. Or Luca, anyway, since Lily is new to kindergarten.

But fuck that.

I’m not staying in a place where I’m not safe from someone whose only goal is to sabotage me .

I realize as I lean back against the front door that I just closed in my ex’s face that I never had a chance. He never would’ve let me succeed in the medical field— his field—without him. He always would’ve figured out some way to make me depend on him, whether it was for a recommendation or a job or a house.

I refuse to depend on him.

I wonder if spying on your ex-wife and kids is grounds for suing for full custody because I sure as hell would love to never have to have anything to do with him ever again.

I can’t do that to my kids. As much as I hate him, I know he loves them. As bad a person as he is, he’s still a good dad.

After I get Lily to bed, watch some Expedition Unknown with Luca, and get him down to bed, I pour myself another glass of wine and wonder how the hell I’m going to get my life back in order.