Rage

Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Thea

I dropped my phone into my purse, then climbed onto the exam table as I waited for the doctor to come in. The nurse checked my weight and blood pressure already. I hadn’t gained any weight since our last visit four weeks ago, and while she wasn’t concerned, I was. Because I was eating a lot. And exercising too. In fact, she said I’d lost two pounds.

I smirked, brushing my hair from my face, and pulling it into a low hold with a butterfly clip. It probably had to do with all the sex I’d been having. My hand found my stomach, and I mindlessly rubbed it while I waited for the doctor to come in.

My daughter, Paisley, was nearing fourteen now, so I remembered little of the process of things, but I’d been in the office enough for this pregnancy to know that the early morning appointments often ran late if there’d been a delivery overnight. I could be waiting for five minutes or forty-five. There was really no way of knowing.

I counted the lucky stars today when Dr. Romana knocked on the door only three minutes later. She greeted me with a wide smile. “Hey, Thea,” she said, glancing around the room. “No dad today?”

Dr. Romana knew I was in a relationship with four men, and she was one of the only doctors who’d been able to keep a straight face when we were looking around. She was well worth the hour drive away from town, if it meant I could bring any of the guys in without feeling even an ounce of shame.

Shane usually was the one who tagged along with me, but if he couldn’t, he made sure that someone was always with me. Until this visit.

“There was an incident at the shop this morning,” I said. “Shane was very upset he couldn’t make it.”

She smiled, nodding her head as she washed her hands. “I’m sure he was. Lie back for me and lift your shirt so we can get these measurements.”

I did as she said while she rubbed her hands together to warm them before she touched my bare belly. “How have you been feeling?” she asked.

My cheeks warmed, flashing back to the last few days of my life. My energy had been amazing recently, and the morning sickness was gone. And my sex drive was through the roof. “I’ve been good. Not as tired anymore.”

“That’s great to hear. She pressed the measuring tape along my pubic bone and then up my belly. “Measuring a little small. Probably about 19 weeks instead of 20. That’s not too worrisome, though.”

“Paisley was small, too,” I said.

“Yes, I remember you mentioning that. Let’s find a heartbeat.” She swapped the tape for a heart Doppler and began searching for a heartbeat.

After a moment of searching, her face paled, and I could tell something wasn’t right.

The inside of my bottom lip was raw and bleeding from the amount of nervous chewing I’d been doing. I knew in my gut that something was wrong. That whatever news was about to be delivered to me would wreck me. Dr. Romana squeezed my hand while the ultrasound technician helped lift my shirt.

Shane still wasn’t here, and I didn’t think he’d make it. I was sure Dr. Romana knew that too, because she hadn’t left my side since she called for an ambulance to transport me from her office to the hospital. I wasn’t going to react until I knew for sure what was happening.

I needed to remain calm. Stress wouldn’t do any good in this situation, and I knew from Paisley’s sick years in the hospital that I’d be useless if it overcame me. Her kidney transplant had left me with no appetite, and hitting my daily 10,000-step goal by 9:00 a.m.

I breathed slow, intentional breaths to force my mind away from what I already knew deep inside. That thought sent me spiraling, heart racing. I hated being alone. I needed Shane or Hendrix. They’d be able to keep me relaxed enough to hear the news.

Seven years spent constantly with arms wrapped around me, or hands squeezing my shoulders and holding my hand, meant that right now I felt cold and alone, even with Dr. Romana right beside me.

The door flung open, hitting the wall with a clanging force. Calder .

Jesus, he was the last one I wanted here. He didn’t do emotions for himself, let alone for others. He’d hold me while I cried, but he wouldn't say the things I needed to hear that would help.

“What’s going on?” Calder barked, stomping his way toward the bed. He dropped into the chair beside me and reached for my hand.

“Just doing a stress test to make sure the little one is growing perfectly,” the tech said, her voice cheerful and warm, despite the heavy cloud looming in the room.

“But, why?” Calder asked, his gaze past me and on Dr. Romana. “Why are we doing this? What’s wrong? Is Thea okay?”

“Thea is fine,” Dr. Romana said. “Baby was uncooperative in the office. It happens sometimes.”

“What the fuck does that even mean?” Calder’s foot began tapping, the metal toe of his work boots clicking in a rhythm that I forced myself to focus on.

Tap, tap, tap . Over, and over, while I shut out the words being spoken around me. Calder’s stern voice boomed, but the words meant nothing.

Tap, tap, tap .

Heat surrounded where he touched my arm, and it swirled in my stomach. It was helping a little, canceling out the cool gel placed below my pubic bone. The more I thought about it, the more Calder was the best one to be here.

He knew how to take control of a room, how to demand answers, and how to soothe me non-verbally.

I was able to shut it off because he’d take care of everything for me. I could shut down and ignore reality, even just for a minute, and that was the gift that I needed right now.

“Vix,” Calder whispered, shortening my nickname of his ‘Little Vixen’. He squeezed my hand. “Did you hear the doc?”

I turned toward him and channeled the tinniest strand of inner peace left in me while still trying to block out the chaos. “Hmm?”

He offered me a soft smile. “Thea, doll. I’m so sorry. We lost the baby.”

I shivered, suddenly feeling so cold. Not even his warmth could save me anymore. Calder’s knuckle dragged against my cheek, a spark igniting where he touched. But still, my bones feltg so, so cold.

And then, I choked on my tears while the rough around the edges, but secret softie held me.