Rage

Chapter 3

Chapter Three

LENORA

H ow could someone so stunning be such a pain in my ass? I’m a sociopath? Well, she isn’t totally off, but it’s what has kept me alive! Maybe one day, she’ll appreciate it when it keeps her ass safe. Speaking of her ass, I can’t help but picture how lovely it fits in her jeans. Why are the pretty ones always a problem?

Her wild mane of dark curls and soft body makes her look like an Amazonian come to life. Just imagining her with a weapon at my side, fighting for our people, has my mind cloudy with thoughts of more. It has been years since I have felt a genuine passion for anyone. Before I can relive the last time someone touched me, I squash the memory in my mind. I flatten it until it’s paper thin and store it in a box of horrors I don’t have time for.

“Her name is Davey, and she seems pretty nice. Maybe too nice?” Jones says, breaking me from my reverie about the beautiful doctor who will now be a part of our lives.

Davey .

Jones did her job to suss her out and determine if we were harboring a sympathizer. No matter how stunning, I can’t risk my people. I’d slice her slender throat myself if I needed to.

According to Jones, it was just her and a teenage brother together for a while. How they survived, I’ll never know, but now, she’s under my watch. So she follows my rules, whether it goes against her precious empathy or not.

“Thanks, Jones.” Antonia walks up to us, leaving Davey sitting on the dusty ground, staring into the endless night with a blank expression. I know the look. We all do. It’s the mask we all wear when we hide our deepest traumas and swallow our grief to survive this hellhole.

“So? We have about an hour's walk left. We can take her out now if she raises any flags. It’s far enough away that if someone finds her body, any Beasts wouldn’t track it back to the compound.” Is it sociopathic to plan a murder twenty feet from the target? No. This is the greater good. I can’t afford to live in a world of whimsy where Beasts may be redeemable or where we have time to question before we kill. I shake out the silly notion she planted into my head. Antonia is right. We have a choice to make as a group, but they will leave me with the decision because they trust me. It’s how we function. It’s how we survive.

“Jones said she didn’t get sympathizer vibes. I don’t either, but she was protecting a brother with no other women, so I think she lived in a bubble for the past three years.”

“We need medical staff at the compound. I think the pros outweigh the cons. She can integrate over time and be helpful to us all.” Jones may be young, but she is tactical and intelligent.

“Agreed,” Antonia chimes in.

“Agreed,” I say to both of them.

An hour later, the sun is almost on the horizon and we have precious little time to get back indoors.

“You all live here?” Davey asks, mesmerized by the size of our compound.

“Yeah. It used to be a summer camp, so we luckily had lodges and beds, but we are a little cramped. We’ve been here for three years, and our growth out-paces our building upgrades, but we’re working on it,” I answer.

Jones and Antonia head off to get some sleep, and I motion for Davey to follow me.

“You’re with me until we can figure something else out.” I shoot over my shoulder as I walk up to my cabin. It’s a small cabin towards the back of the compound. Originally, we think it functioned as the sleeping quarters for the director of the camp because it’s a one bedroom log cabin with a tiny kitchenette and a simple indoor bathroom.

As I catch her eyes over my shoulder, I trace her line of sight to my knife. Either that, or she’s staring blatantly at my ass, which is nothing to write home about.

“Eyes up here, doc,” I say with a smirk and turn just as her face bursts with red and she averts those big brown eyes of hers. Adorable.

After settling in, we both take quick showers with what little water my tank has. Conservation is key, and she has way more hair and body than I do.

Don’t think about that hair and body soaking wet, you pervert.

“Thanks for letting me borrow some clothes. I didn’t have much in our cave, anyway. It’s surreal to be indoors again. I was almost used to roughing it.” She laughs. There is no way she was used to roughing it.

Her skin is glowing, and errant drops of water trail down from her damp hair to caress her shoulders. But that’s not what has me gaping like an imbecile at her. My pajamas are usually just shorts and a tank top. On my petite frame, it works perfectly fine to cover everything up, but all the clothes do for her is stress her impossibly long legs and dark nipples, which pebble beneath the fabric.

Oh, I am in fucking trouble. There is no way. How can someone possibly look like this during an apocalypse? Is this a test? Some kind of cosmic retribution for all my kills? That a supple goddess just happens to be in my hunting path and will soon be in my bed? Not mine to touch, but mine to protect?

My eyes roam her body without a care for her comfort. I know I shouldn’t be so overt, but the length of the shorts barely grazes the tops of her thighs. I wonder if she’s wearing panties. When my eyes finish their perusal and make their way back to her face, she’s three shades darker with wide eyes.

“Come. Sit.”

On my face.

Don’t say that.

I pat the tiny couch cushion next to me. Normally, I prefer to be alone, but the way she takes up my space doesn’t put me on edge the way other people do.

I try to shut away the last time my body felt this way. There’s no use in living in the past when the present is fleeting. “If you want, I can sleep on this couch and you can take the bed. We can both fit on my bed, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Her nose scrunches up as she considers my offer, and it gives her a sweet, youthful appearance.

“If all you have are these tiny clothes, it’ll be cold. It’s smarter if we share body heat.” Ah, so she’s taking the scientific approach. I wonder if she also likes women. Most of us lie somewhere on the spectrum of sexuality. Would it be weird for me to mention?

“So, Jones was telling me you started all of this. How did you pull that off?”

I scoff. Everyone underestimates me because of my size, and that’s fine with me. I’m not the one six feet under.

“I think you need to work on your bedside manner, Doc.” I can’t help the smirk that grazes my lips. Again, color washes her cheeks and her eyes brighten in that sweet way.

“I’m sorry. I have only talked to the same person for three years, and I practically raised him. I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just that you’re fairly petite, not that there’s anything wrong with that! You’re beautiful! Jones was talking about you taking out grown men, and it was crazy to me. Not that women aren’t powerful. Obviously, I know that. I’m a feminist through and through. You have all survived and-and—” A sharp inhale precedes her next bout of word vomit, so I hold up a single hand. Her mouth snaps shut, and she takes her bottom lip between her teeth.

Is it because she blushes so easily? Is it because she’s someone new? It has been ages since I’ve felt a shred of desire for another person; I just assumed I was asexual now. But sitting close to her warm body makes me wonder what if? What if I had someone to come home to? I rub at the pain blooming in my chest and battle the rush of loneliness that threatens to escape.

“I did what I had to do to survive. It was hard, but I couldn’t sit by and watch as they murdered innocent women, or worse.”

“Is there something worse than death?” Davey asks, unconsciously edging closer to me the more we speak. From here, I can smell the slight lavender scent of my shampoo wafting off her long curls.

“Yeah, Davey. We’re living it.” I don’t like to think about what’s worse. Everyone has this fairy tale that death is some all-encompassing blackness that extinguishes life and leaves your consciousness in a vacuous space, drifting for all eternity. That’s a walk in the park compared to living. The grit and nerve we all have, the determination to make it through another scorching sunrise. No, death is simple. What they did to me, I welcomed death every second. But death is cowardly and only sneaks up on you when it’s good and ready, a slave to none and a master to all.

I remove my butterfly knife from my pocket and swing it open and closed. The repetitive actions help me find a meditative state where I can have conversations with normal people. Because that is so alluring about Davey: she’s normal. She was alone with a sibling since society crumbled, locked into a bubble of safety. She probably lived in that cave insulated from the surrounding devastation.

“Look. I know that life is different now for everyone. But what you’ve created here? It’s powerful. You should be proud.” Her smile is warm, and I am having a tough time returning the gesture. When is the last time I’ve felt the heat of another body, the warmth of a genuine smile? “I haven’t even seen everything but, from what Jones mentioned, you’re a leader here and I’m happy to help your compound in any way I can. I can be useful again. Honestly, I miss the hustle and bustle of delivering. There are no births at the end of the world.” Her eyes look right through me, and a familiar darkness looks back out at me.

A familiar chill runs up my spine, leaving my skin feeling tight. The knife flips faster in my hand as I count my breaths methodically. As the icy blade closes in on itself, a hand closes around my fist, holding it steady. My eyes shoot up to Davey, who is smiling at me with those warm chocolate eyes, defrosting the ice around my heart. For a second, there is no sound, only the rhythmic dance of our breaths as they ease in and out.

“You—you could have hurt yourself!” I say as I stand, and she drops my hand.

“Relax. I have fantastic reflexes, and even if I hurt myself, I’m a doctor, remember? I can patch myself up.” She offers her smiles up so easily. Why is she always smiling?

Before I can stop myself, my hand reaches forward and grasps her chin between my fingers. As I tilt her face up to mine, the smile falls from her face.

“Don’t take your safety lightly. You’re one of my people now. We are a team here, so we all contribute and we all follow the orders that keep us safe. Do you understand?” It’s too harsh. It’s too much. She has been through so much tonight, but I can’t stand the idea of her being so cavalier about this. It’s my job to keep everyone safe, and that includes her now.

I expect her to shove me away, maybe a slap to my hand or face while she’s at it. What I don’t expect is the hazy way her pupils expand and her mouth parts for me. I don’t expect her breathing to be heavier while my eyes trail down the long expanse of her neck. When they catch the soft swells of her breasts, her nipples pebble against the thin fabric.

Oh, fuck.

She nods, her chin still captured between my fingers. “I understand,” she whispers. It would be so easy to tilt my head down and feel those soft lips with my own. The easy way she understands, the delicious way she stares up at me. It’s addicting. I can’t afford to mess around with anyone, let alone someone we just brought in, so I release my fingers and take a step back from her, back into the coldness of the cabin. Maybe I should sleep on the couch tonight.

Before I mention it, she stands and stretches her long body towards the ceiling with a yawn. I drink in the smooth expanse of her skin, the way her top grazes the swells of her breasts. Those fucking nipples are just staring at me, and I’m trying my hardest not to drool, or reach out and tug.

Shaking my head, I take the hint. “Right. You must be exhausted. The bedroom's over here.” A sincere smile lights up her face, and I know for a fact that I will not sleep tonight.