Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Alaina
H anding Tara her panties, completely deflated, I turned away, trying to force my tears at bay. She used me. Again.
What do I have to do to get her to love me? I do everything she asks, give her everything she needs, fuck her how she likes… Why doesn’t she love me?
“Wear all black, Alaina. Bring the knife I got you last week,” Tara said, pulling on her skinny jeans and slipping her feet into her Vans.
“Okay,” I said, trying to keep my voice firm and hide my pain.
I was feeling almost normal after the fix Tara gave me last night, but it wouldn’t last me long. Standing to get dressed, I watched her shuffle through her cross body bag. The smile on her lips when she saw her favorite knife hit me with a sting of jealousy.
She loves that knife more than me.
“Okay, Alaina, here’s the deal,” Tara said, scooping up her long, black hair into a messy bun. “I’ve been watching Ro-Ro and his boss for a few weeks now. I found where they cook all their shit they sell. We’re going to get you stocked up so you don’t have to worry about the withdrawals anymore.”
“Oh, okay.”
I know that this was a caring gesture for her, even though it’s a very unhealthy one. But after how bad my withdrawals were last night, I think I’m finally ready to give recovery another try.
“Ready? This is the best time to go since we are awake in the middle of the night,” Tara said, draping her bag over her chest.
“Y-yes… I suppose.”
“Here,” Tara said as I approached her. She tucked away my folding knife in the front pocket of my jeans. “Just in case, baby.”
Following Tara out of our tent into the cool night air, I trembled, my nerves building up in my chest. We walked in silence down the path we made towards the main street, ducking through the hole in the fence we made.
I didn’t like silence, didn’t like Tara’s silence. The further we walked, the more my anxiety grew, so I reached for her hand, interlacing our fingers. She’s capable of so much violence, and just knowing we were going somewhere dangerous where the possibility of her getting hurt or worse had me on edge.
My hand trembled as I gripped hers tightly. Looking at her, trying to gauge her mood, my heart sank when I saw two hollow green eyes. Her hand was lax in mine. She didn’t hold mine back, but I ignored the feelings of rejection I constantly felt, following her into the night.
“Here we are, baby,” Tara said coldly, turning us down an alley in between two dilapidated looking buildings.
We stopped walking near a dumpster that had fallen on its side in the darkest part of the alley. Before I could comprehend what was happening, Tara shoved me against the wall, pinning me in with her hands on either side of my head. I gasped, startled. I opened my mouth to speak, but she didn’t let me.
She kissed me hard. It differed from what it usually was.
Inching closer to me, she pressed her body onto mine as her tongue explored my mouth in the most passionate kiss I’d ever had. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I absorbed every second, every moment.
Reaching my hands up, I wrapped my arms around her neck, pulling her closer. Pulling away, we were both panting and out of breath,
“Alaina…” Tara whispered, resting her forehead against mine.
“I love you, Tara. So fucking much.” I tried confessing again, desperate for her to say those words back.
She quickly pecked my forehead, stepping away. My heart sank, shattered all over again.
“Wait here, baby. Stay in the darkness until I come back. Don’t move, you understand?”
“Yes,” I said harshly, surprising myself with how cold I sounded.
Tara cocked an eyebrow at me, gripping my chin roughly, and pushed me into the wall again. She glared at me, scanning my eyes, trying to understand my shift in mood.
“Yes, what?” she purred.
Lowering my eyebrows, I glared right back at her, heartbroken and angry.
“Don’t make me force it out of you, Alaina.”
Holding my ground, I held eye contact with her, but couldn’t help the shiver of desire dancing across my skin.
“Fine.”
Tara unbuttoned the front of my jeans and unzipped them, shoving her hand down the front, underneath my panties. Her chilly hands found my wet pussy ready for her. Pressing my palms into the wall behind me, I panted heavy breaths as she pressed two fingers inside me.
“Is this what you need, then?” She pumped her fingers inside me, deep and rough. When I didn’t reply, she reached up with her free hand, gripping my hair at my scalp, yanking my head to the side.
“I asked you a fucking question, Alaina.”
Pressing her fingers as deep as she could, she curled them, hitting just the right spot, forcing my hips to move to grind on her hand. Closing my eyes, I leaned my head against the wall, entranced by the sounds of my wet pussy taking her hand. I just wanted to cum so desperately. My focus is always on her and her pleasure. When she was done, we were done, and I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Just…Fuck. Make me cum for once, Tara. Please…” I whined, her movements halting.
Opening my eyes to meet hers, I could see her mind trying to comprehend what I said.
“Fine.” Her movements continued, and she released my hair to cover my mouth. “But if you make a sound and draw attention to us, you will never cum again, understood?”
I vigorously nodded, desperate for a release.
Her hand shifted to cup my cheek as she added her thumb to circle my clit. She watched me intently, tracing my bottom lip with her tongue. Fighting to suppress my moans, I sucked her thumb into my mouth, humming and dragging my teeth along its length.
“Cum for me, baby girl, I need it now,” Tara ordered. I was so close, the swell of my orgasm rising in my core, building and growing. “I said cum for me, Alaina. Cum. For. Me.”
Each pause was a harsh, deep thrust of her fingers.
“You like this, don’t you, baby? Being in public, riding my hand?”
“Y-yes, ma’am. Fuck…” I whispered.
“I wish someone would walk by and see how perfect my pussy looks taking my fingers,” Tara groaned, kissing me deeply. “But I told you to cum for me, and I need it now, or we’re done. Fucking cum for me, Alaina. Be a good fucking girl and give it to me,” Tara purred, sending me over the edge.
Her thumb pressed on my clit hard as she buried her fingers deep inside me, stroking that perfect spot. My knees buckled as my orgasm consumed me. Tara covered my mouth again as my whole body shook. I wanted to scream out, cry out her name, but I stayed as silent as I could. Once my walls stopped contracting on her fingers, she dragged them out of me, teasing my sensitive clit.
“Good girl, baby,” Tara said, sucking her fingers clean, closing her eyes in pleasure.
She helped me lift my jeans back into place and button them closed. Reaching into my pocket, she opened my knife and handed it to me.
“Wait here. Don’t move until I call for you, understood?” Her eyes looked different… Concerned.
“Yes, ma’am.” I replied, out of breath and sweating, still riding the high of my orgasm.
“Sit, baby. I’ll be back soon.”
She kissed me quickly and turned to walk towards the abandoned factory at the end of the alley. Sinking to the ground, I placed my knife down with a shaking hand. I needed a hit again; the familiar anxiety and urges began.
Perfect. I’m alone and craving. Please hurry, Tara…