Chapter 3
Chapter Three
September 2, 2050
M y eyes are focused so intently on the bathroom door that I’m surprised my gaze hasn’t bore a hole through the wood. I’ve been waiting for nearly half an hour, expecting Lita to slip in at any moment, but she hasn’t shown. It’s odd because her group got back hours before ours today.
She should have been here by now.
Did she fall asleep? Is she avoiding me?
I run through the same questions I’ve been asking myself over and over as I pace the tiny room, trying to figure out what’s going on. Is this her way of telling me things are over between us?
My stomach sinks.
With her birthday quickly approaching—and inevitably the day she ages into the breeder faction—we’ve spent every chance we could together. Stolen moments in hallways, shared glances, sweet whispers.
When we’re apart she consumes my thoughts, and when we’re together I drink in every second, begging the universe for more time with her.
But now… something feels off. What’s taking her so long?
The reasonable part of me knows I should just shower and head to my room for the night. After all, we aren’t supposed to be together, and investigating may raise a red flag to the other girls. It’s best if I turn in and ask her tomorrow in the light of day why she didn’t show.
However, the unreasonable part of me demands attention, curiosity burning through me like white-hot fire.
I chew the inside of my cheek, indecision mounting as I reach for the shower knobs. I wash myself quickly, the numbness spreading through my veins like a disease, and quickly dry off. I drag on my pajamas and wrap a worn towel around my long, dark hair, indecision tugging at my gut.
I should head back to my room and turn in for the night.
I definitely should not barrel down the hall to Lita’s room and demand answers.
Swallowing hard, I slip out of the bathroom and stare down the long corridor, battling with my conflicting emotions. Every logical thought is overshadowed by a burning need radiating from my bones. A need for answers, something we’re rarely given here in Merik.
If anyone finds out about us they’ll kill us both…
And maybe that’s a fate I’m willing to face because a life without Lita hardly seems like a life at all.
Mind made up, I hurry down the hall, passing my room without a backward glance and making my way to the other half of the house. It isn’t against the rules to venture to each other’s rooms, but I’ve consciously avoided Lita’s room since we started… whatever this is … months ago.
Going there now feels wrong, and guilt prickles over my skin like a swarm of spiders.
I shouldn’t be here, my intuition screams at me, but I press on until I’m planted outside the wooden door that’s identical to my own; white and old with peeling paint and a few dings here and there. I lean closer, listening for voices, but the room beyond is silent.
My stomach turns as I lift my fist, my heart slamming in my chest. Trembling, I knock, the sound impossibly loud in the silent hallway.
A shaky breath escapes my lungs as I wait, the seconds dragging on for what feel like hours, until movement behind the door makes me freeze. Slowly, the doorknob turns, and the door cracks open. Just enough light from the hall spills in through the opening to make out the worried face of sixteen-year-old Sara.
“Yes?” she whispers, her eyes bouncing from me to the empty hall behind me. “What is it?”
I shift in place, put off by her unexpected behavior. Why the hell does she look so afraid?
“Is Lita in there?” I ask, keeping my voice low.
Immediately, the girl’s brown eyes widen, and her throat bobs with a swallow. “No, she’s not.”
“What?” My chest seizes. If she’s not in her room, where else could she be? It’s nearing curfew; she’ll be in trouble if she’s not in her room soon.
This doesn’t make sense .
Before I can ask anything else, the door starts to close, and I put a hand up to stop it. Sara’s eyes widen.
“Where is she?” I fight to keep the desperation out of my voice. Every inch of me is on fire, boiling alive, and the only thing that will alleviate my suffering is knowing where Lita is. I need to know she’s okay, that she’s safe, that she didn’t decide to break up with me without so much as a warning.
I need to see her more than I need my next breath.
“We don’t ask questions,” Sara reminds me in a nearly inaudible whisper. She tries to shove the door closed, but it doesn’t budge against my hold.
“I know but…” Emotion clogs my throat. I can hardly believe I’m behaving this way. All my life I’ve fallen in line, obeyed orders, kept my head down to stay alive. And now… now I’m willing to risk it all for answers. “I just need to talk to her. Please.” My voice finally cracks.
After a painful moment of silence, the door swings open slowly.
“Hurry,” Sara whispers harshly, urging me inside. The door snaps closed quickly behind me, and I step to the middle of the room. It’s nearly identical to mine.
Two curious pairs of eyes glare at me from the bunk beds, but the room is only illuminated by a candle in the corner so I can’t make out their faces.
My eyes fall to the two empty bunks. One is untidy, like Sara had just crawled out of it to come answer the door. The other is perfectly made and undisturbed.
Lita…
“Where is she?” I repeat, fighting past the lump in my throat.
It isn’t time for her to age out of our faction. We’ve been carefully counting down the days together until she transfers to the breeder house. We still have time.
We still have time.
“We don’t know,” Sara answers softly, her eyes bouncing to the other girls in the room. “The High Majesty requested to see her after we finished gathering for the day. Her and another girl from downstairs.”
“For what?” I gasp, fighting to keep my voice level. I know she doesn’t have answers. We aren’t allowed to ask questions, and the information we are given is often limited. We know what the Peace Officers deem necessary, which isn’t much. “Did they say anything?”
Sara shakes her head, and I notice for the first time that she’s trembling. “Nothing.”
I run a hand over my face as the corners of my eyes prickle, my fingers lingering on my lips as I try to wrap my mind around Lita’s absence.
Is she coming back? Is she aging out early? Is she safe?
“I don’t understand,” I say, my voice barely a whisper.
Sara shakes her head. “We don’t either, but we’re… afraid. What if they’ve changed the rules without telling us? What if they plan to take more of us?”
Knots twist my stomach as I meet her troubled gaze. Her fear radiates through the room until I feel it too, sinking through me, sitting heavy in my stomach, but I’m not afraid of aging out early. I’ve been mentally preparing my whole life for whatever they plan to do to us—to me —but that all pales in comparison to my fear of losing Lita.
“Torri,” Sara says, snapping me out of my thoughts. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from crying as she watches me, but my emotions are mounting, making it harder and harder to fight back the tears. “I’m sorry. Truly.”
The apology hits like a blow to my chest, and I take a step back. Why else would Sara apologize so sincerely unless she knew what was going on between Lita and I? Unless she understood the depth of my distress?
I can’t bring myself to ask. I’ve already risked too much by coming here and asking questions. The only thing I want to do right now is disappear, to fade into the darkness and never come out. I want to run, to scream, to cry. I want to burst into the breeder house and find her, if only to see her one last time.
All I can manage is a feeble “thanks” before I turn and head for the door, tears blinding me as I go back to my room.