Ramshackle (Raegan of Ruin #3)

16. Raegan

Chapter sixteen

Raegan

One heated conversation later, I find myself in the passenger seat of Aiden’s Aston Martin at a bar parking lot. He finally caved under the condition that he and Jackson would accompany me while Kellan stayed back with Dane. We would be in and out, I promised. It might take me a second to find it, considering its size and the mess I heard Vera left behind, but hopefully, it isn’t too far from where I’d left it.

I caution a brief glance at Aiden in the driver’s seat. His face is pensive as he stares through the windshield at something in his mind. We’ve been quiet since splitting from the others. Aiden sent Jack on some task before joining us, so it was only me and him walking together from the bunker through one of the tunnels to this bar.

I’m grateful for the break while we wait for Jack, so my knee has more time to recover before we get to the firehouse.

But now that we’re no longer walking, I begin to fidget.

I can’t stop thinking about the last time we’d been alone together.

Maybe it’s been long enough for Aiden to forget what happened between us and move on, but it’s the only thing occupying my thoughts now.

The spanking. The sex. Then the blowout where I finally told him how I felt.

Did what I said mean anything to him?

He hasn’t brought it up, which leads me to believe that it didn’t make a difference. He still doesn’t trust me.

Then why did he come to save you?

That has to count for something, right?

The questions are piling up at a dizzying speed, circling my mind on repeat as I try and guess where he stands with me.

It doesn’t matter. You can’t trust him.

Even if I want to. Even if he did save me, that doesn’t mean anything has changed.

I close my eyes and draw a calming breath.

“What’s wrong?”

Aiden’s watching me when my eyes open. His dark brown eyes are as guarded as they always are, like he’s intentionally blocking everyone out. To put on a brave face for everyone else or to protect himself?

Taking one more breath, I answer, “I want to thank you.”

“For what?”

“For coming after me.”

He frowns. “You should be thanking the others, too, then.”

“I know. And I will, but I understand why the others came for me. I know you don’t trust me and…I’m not your favorite person, but you rescued me anyway.” You didn’t abandon me this time. “So, yeah. Thanks,” I finish awkwardly.

Aiden’s gaze darkens. His hand reaches for mine, but I jerk it away before we can touch. I don’t want his comfort. Not when I know that he doesn’t mean it in the way I would want. Because he can’t care for me like that if he doesn’t trust me. It’s a hollow offering that would tear me up inside if I accepted it.

His hand hovers where my hand had been, then closes.

“Raegan, I—”

The door opens, and I visibly jump in surprise. Jackson cocks his head with a small smile. “Ready?” His blue gaze shimmers with amusement, and I get the distinct feeling he interrupted Aiden intentionally. The only question is how long he had been watching from outside.

I nod while Aiden gives him a look that only incites a more wicked smile on Jack’s face.

Yup. Definitely on purpose.

“She sacrificed herself to get me to Grams and away from them. I don’t know how they found me, but that’s how I was born on the island and then lived in Alaska. I was too young to remember my mom or any of that,” I finish breathlessly. I needed something to fill the silence of the car ride, and it hit me that I could finally give Aiden an answer about my birth that he’s been questioning.

Aiden’s eyes haven’t strayed from the road, and Jack’s been quiet in the backseat.

“So…that explains my birth certificate,” I fill in just in case he didn’t make the connection. Because if he had, he would have said something by now, right? “And the picture you have.”

Jackson straightens slowly, his stare snapping to Aiden’s in the rearview mirror. “What picture?”

What does he mean, what picture? I thought all the guys had seen it.

My head swivels back to Aiden, and I open my mouth to ask him, but he speaks before I get the chance.

“Did you find anything on your father?”

“Ah, no. Just his name one time and that was it. Charles Whitmore.”

The car slows to a stop, and he puts it in park. “Hm. I’ll see what I can find.” Aiden turns, his eyes intense as he finally looks at me. “Raegan Laivins.”

My face heats at the way he says it. Like we’re meeting again for the first time, and he’s testing my name on his tongue. I shouldn’t let anything he says or does get this type of reaction from me, but my body refuses to get the memo.

I grab the door handle and push it open, almost falling onto the ground in my rush to add some distance between us. Air catches and pushes me back inside.

“Wait,” Jack murmurs softly at the back of my neck, and warm tingles spread across my skin. “I’ll sweep inside first to make sure no one’s there.”

Aiden lets him out through his door and then sits. “Now that we’re here, what are we looking for?”

Ha! Hard pass.

I can already imagine the flaying look he’d give me if he learns we’re here for a hair clip . He wouldn’t understand its importance to Portia, and therefore, to me.

“Something of Portia’s that I need to return to her,” I reply casually.

He watches me expectantly as if I’ll crack under the pressure of that stare and tell him more. When I do nothing of the sort, he tries again, “I can’t help you look for it if I don’t know what it is I’m looking for.”

“That’s okay. I’ll find it.” No one would look twice at a hair accessory, so I’m sure it’s still in my room somewhere. My only concern is that it’s intact from whatever destruction happened there. From how Kellan made it sound, it was like they let a bull loose inside the building.

His eyes narrow, but thankfully, Jackson has returned.

“No one’s in there. I’ll check the woods and surrounding area and then join you inside,” he tells us.

“I’ll be fast,” I promise him with a smile, hurrying to the door without waiting for Aiden. I freeze in the open doorway.

I mean, I knew what to expect from Kellan’s description. But imagining it and seeing it…

Wow.

This is more than just looking for the cuffs.

This is anger. Fury.

Because Dane left to save me?

“It’s only surface damage,” Aiden’s voice appears right behind me. I doubt this matters to him. As soon as GE is taken care of, he’ll be moving back to their fancy Loft in the Tower. This place didn’t mean anything to him. Maybe not to the others, either.

I bite my lip to break through the storm of emotions gathering in my chest. Rather than give him a response that might give away how this place has affected me, I move inside. Every step is a crunch beneath my feet, and I fight back a cringe.

Old Red is broken.

And just like that, it’s been abandoned again.

Fuck, stop it. It’s just a building.

“Speaking of Portia,” Aiden muses slowly. “I got a call from Elias the night before we brought you back. They found her.”

My footing slips on the next pile of debris in my rush to spin around, and I fall face-first into his chest in an ungraceful oof . His hands steady me at my elbows, but I push off him and grab the lapels of his jacket in each hand. “What?! That is the first piece of information you should have shared when you saw me. Fuck eating! Where’s your phone? I need to call her.”

I start running my hands all over his jacket to hunt for his phone, moving them down lower to his pants to check his pockets next. I see him with the damn thing all the time, so where the hell does he keep it?

“Raegan. What are you—Wait!” He grabs my wrists and drags me up against him. “Stop.”

My heart pounds erratically as I gasp in his grip. I tell myself it’s out of excitement to hear from Portia again. I’m sure it’s that.

It’s not because of his firm grip tucking me into him.

It’s not because I inhaled the delicious combination of cinnamon and bourbon when I slid back up to his chest.

Or because he’s been holding me here without speaking for at least thirty seconds.

“Do I have your attention?” His voice is low and smooth, like warm chocolate.

My lips suddenly feel parched, and I lick them self-consciously. “Yes.”

“Good girl.” Oh, fuck me. My thighs clench at the responding ache between my legs at those words coming from him . “Elias said he found her, but they aren’t able to come back for a while still. It sounds like they’re dealing with something else.”

My heart drops like a rock. I straighten and pull away from him. “What? I need to call her. Now. Where’s your phone?” I demand, trying not to panic. Elias said she got her memories back. Is that it? Is she upset that Elias found her?

I wish I had my phone so I could call her directly, but Aiden’s will have to do if I can at least talk to Elias.

Aiden sighs and hands me his phone—from wherever the hell he was keeping it—and I snatch it when I hear it ringing already. The screen reads Thorton , and I cling to it while waiting for him to answer.

After the tenth ring, there’s a click, and then Elias’s voicemail answers.

“Elias? It’s Rae. How’s Portia? Can you have her call me? I lost my phone, so call Aiden’s number until I get a new one. I hope you guys are doing okay.” Fuck, I’m terrible at this. “Bye.”

I end the call and glance at Aiden.

“Was that your first voicemail?” he asks dryly.

I smack the phone into his chest and whirl around, stalking through the wreckage to my room. “Shut up, Aiden!”

Because, yes. Yes, it was.

I dig my arm into the back of the drawer, scrambling along the seams and then the middle until my fingers roll over something small and hard. Pinching the item, I bring it out and smile. “Found you!”

“Please tell me we didn’t come all the way here for that.” Aiden’s arms are crossed as he leans casually against the doorframe.

My hand closes over it to block the butterfly clip from view. “We did. I’m not going to bother explaining why this is so important because you wouldn’t understand.” I slip it into my pocket. “We can go now. I told you—What?”

Aiden stiffens as he looks down the hallway. His arms snap to his sides, and blades drop into his grasp. “GE.” He checks the other side of the hallway and curses.

I peek around him, and there are GE goons pouring out of a portal on either end of the hallway. “Shit!”

“Get back in the room,” he orders, then something catches his eye. “Go out the window and call for Jack.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be right behind you.” Aiden changes one sword into a shield before the first attack strikes.

I run to the window and throw it open with a gasp. “There are more of them outside!”

Fuck! We’re surrounded!

How did they know we were here?

Vera was here. Did she plant cameras or sensors before she left?

“Get Jack!” Aiden shouts. He’s fighting off three of them in front of the doorway, his whip sword sailing down the hallway and leaving pain-filled cries in its wake.

I grip the windowsill, leaning my head out, and then take a deep breath to yell. “Ja—AHHH!” I scream when fingers dig into my scalp and yank me back into the room by my hair.

“Raegan!” The sound of metal on metal and yelling intensifies, but something else steals all my attention before I can wonder if Aiden is okay.

A voice I’d hoped to never hear again whispers harshly against my ear. “Did you really think I’d let you go again, pet ?”