Ramshackle (Raegan of Ruin #3)

21. Dane

Chapter twenty-one

Dane

The movie credits scroll up on the television screen, and I realize it ended. I didn’t watch a single minute of it while Rae was pressed into my side.

I can’t focus on anything but her when her warm, soft frame is leaning into mine. When the smell of vanilla fills my nose and draws out a feral side in me that I never knew existed. The need to touch her is overwhelming. My body is practically vibrating with the need for more . To wrap her in my arms. Kiss her. To breathe her in as I trace her skin with my lips.

Fuck.

Stop thinking like that.

It’s that line of thinking that forced me to slide a pillow between my lap and Raegan’s head.

Even that amount of separation isn’t enough to calm the demanding desire to do more than stroke my fingers through her hair like I’m doing now. I tuck the blanket back in where it popped free and exposed her shoulder to me.

I was tempted to kiss it.

A bare shoulder.

I’m so fucked.

I return to her hair, slipping my fingertips between her blonde strands at her scalp and dragging through to the base of her neck before starting again. It’s not much, but at least the action keeps my hand busy and I am touching her in some way, even if it’s far friendlier than what I wish it was.

I restart the movie. I’m afraid she’ll wake up if it’s too quiet.

And I’m not ready for this moment to end.

I know I’m an idiot for pretending like this means anything. I hadn’t expected her to agree to lean on me when I offered. After all I’ve said to her…all I’ve done and she’s been through because of me…I don’t understand how she doesn’t hate me. How she can smile at me. Comfort me .

I should be the one comforting her .

I’m the reason she was put in the position that killed Vera.

I’m the reason she was stuck with Gordon for a year and had to endure his abuse.

The reason she went back to Gordon for two months and got tortured.

And she still tried to keep her promise to me to not hurt my sister, even if it might have gotten her killed.

Lifting my hand from her head, I fist it to hold myself back from the impulsive need to draw her tight in my arms. I close my eyes and drop my head back against the couch, breathing in deep through my nose.

I owe her everything.

It makes the time I hated her seem like a faraway dream because now, looking back, I can see how much of that hate stemmed from a part of me still wanting her, even then. I never stopped. I’d worn my anger like armor, more pissed at myself for still harboring these feelings when I thought she betrayed us, and now that it’s gone...

Now, there’s nothing holding back that longing.

Now, I want her so fucking badly that it hurts.

It’s not a light ache or the classic butterflies in the chest feeling.

It’s an all-consuming, bone-deep ache that crushes my chest and leaves me breathless.

I want the girl who gave up everything for me, and I want to spend the rest of my life doing the same for her.

The girl who will put her life on the line to help those she loves.

The girl who fights for what she believes in.

And I’ll do anything it takes to become worthy of her.

Even if it means putting my sister’s rescue on hold.

I want my sister back, but not at Raegan’s expense. For now, it’s enough to know that she’s alive. I’ll keep my focus on taking down GE and Gordon, like the others moving forward.

All that’s left is telling her how I feel and figuring out what the fuck to do about her with Kellan and Jackson. And trying not to lose my cool every time I see them doing couple things together. Or when she was clearly jealous of Kellan giving another girl attention in the coffee shop.

“Your movie still on?”

I startle at Kellan’s voice, and Raegan stirs in my lap. I hurriedly return to pulling my fingers through her hair and wait for her breathing to even out again before looking over my shoulder at him. “Yeah,” I lie, not ready to admit how I’d purposefully restarted it to keep Raegan snuggled on me. “What’s up?”

“The plan for tomorrow is all set. Aiden wants you to come with us on any of these island missions. Since we haven’t been able to confirm or dispel the possibility of a spy in the Guild, it’s safer for you to stick with us.”

“Alright. What time is the mission?”

Kellan’s gaze slides past me to Raegan. He lifts a brow in question, and I try to appear nonchalant as I shrug one shoulder. “I can move her to the bed,” he offers, walking closer to the couch.

I stiffen instinctively, stopping my reflex to lean over and block him from taking her. “She’s fine. Just leave her,” I bite out too sharply because Kellan’s eyebrows ratchet up his forehead, and a grin slides onto his face.

“Oh, really?” he drawls, then snatches the remote from me while I’m distracted. “Same movie, huh? Or did you start a new one?” He smacks the controller back in my hand after a quick pause revealed the movie was only twenty minutes in.

Scowling, I grip the remote. “Does it matter? It’s helping her sleep. Are you going to answer my question about the time tomorrow, or should I ask Aiden for the details later?”

His grin sharpens with an edge of challenge, but I refuse to rise to the bait and wait for his answer. “We’re heading out from the training room at midnight. We’ll be bringing some Guild members along with us, too, to make sure everything runs smoothly.”

“Who?”

“Evie, Silas, Fabian, and Harvey. Then Reid and Tinsley.”

Makes sense. The four members already know about GE and have some fighting experience. Most of the other members didn’t know Gifted Enterprise existed until the attack on the Tower. They’re here for the community of other gifted people and the extra work that’s suited to their gifts.

As for Reid and Tinsley, the former is a given since he’ll be needed to get us there and back. But this will be the first time Tinsley will be involved with anything. Did Reid request that she join the mission?

“That’s a lot of people for Reid to transport if we’re bringing people back, too,” I muse.

“We’ll be using Evie’s gift of mass manipulation to shrink everyone. That’ll be a lot less stress on Reid’s gift, since he’ll only be teleporting himself, Evie, and a tub full of three-inch-tall people.”

I frown at the picture of being carried around in a plastic tub coupled with the off-putting feeling of being teleported.

“Don’t worry, Rapunzel. It’ll be fine. Just make sure you’re ready to go on time. And let Raegan know when she wakes up.”

“I will,” I reply with a nod.

He smirks and turns to leave. “I’ll let you guys finish your movie, then.”

Prick.