26. Aiden
Chapter twenty-six
Aiden
The phone rings endlessly in my ear. If it clicks over to voicemail, I’m quick to end the call and redial.
There’s no avoiding me. Just answer your phone so we can be done with it.
Sleep nags at me like an unrepentant pest. It sits in the recesses of my mind, waiting for a moment of weakness to sweep in and drag me down.
Moments like this, where the droll ringing threatens to lull me into its sweet surrender, are the most dangerous. I’ve been able to avoid it for a few days now, slipping in a twenty-minute nap here or there when absolutely necessary, and otherwise, I’ve been here. Losing myself to achieve my goals.
Because nothing else matters to me anymore aside from taking down GE and fixing what I ruined.
The mission to the first island had been a test. We rescued the kids there, as Raegan had wanted, but that wasn’t my primary goal.
We tested the skill and mettle of the Guild members who have been asking to join the fight. They passed the test for their bravery, but skills-wise left a lot to be desired. They aren’t practiced enough to fight, so we’ve had to put a hold on any further trips until Kellan can train them on how to fight against people who want to kill you. It’s not the same as their friendly squabbles here.
I also had Dane pull more data from their computers. Because I’m looking for proof of someone that I’m now convinced is still on one of these islands or is working for GE.
Raegan’s father.
The ringing stops. I almost miss it; the echo of its sound continuing in my head. But a deep drawl, one I’ve never heard before, sounds in my ear. “What the fuck do you want?”
For a second, I think I’ve fallen asleep. I shift forward to lean over my desk, making sure I’m awake and can feel the hard wood of my desk. “Who is this?” I demand.
There’s noise on the other end that I can’t place, and then I hear Elias’s voice further away. “Don’t answer my phone.” More shuffling, like the phone is being moved around, and then Thorton’s voice is loud and clear. “Adams. You don’t seem to understand the notion that someone not answering their phone means they’re busy.”
I smirk, and the sentiment carries through to my voice. “Well, you’ve answered now. I’ll keep this quick.” When he doesn’t hang up or argue, I continue, “I need your network again. Anyone taken by GE who has seen or heard of a man called Charles Whitmore.”
It’s unfortunate that I have to resort to asking Elias for this information. While I have my own resources here, they’re limited to the people in my Guild and this city.
Elias’s network is worldwide. He has a far greater reach and more gifted contacts than I’ll ever have or want.
“How urgent is this request? I’ve just finished your last one, and I have my hands full with other priorities.”
“It’s for Raegan.”
Silence. Then Elias sighs. It almost makes me wonder what the hell he’s working on that has him sounding so tired. Is it still because of Portia?
“I’ll get the word out and let you know what I hear back.”
“Raegan is also waiting for a phone call from Portia,” I remind him again.
“I haven’t forgotten. She will call. When she’s ready.”
The door to my office opens. Dane and Kellan stroll inside, closing it behind them quietly when they see I’m on the phone.
“You should worry more about your requests stacking up, Adams,” he continues.
Like I care.
“I’ll pay you whatever you want.”
“I don’t want money.”
I frown, my hand pinching the phone a little harder. “Then, what do you want?”
“Favors. I’m doing quite a bit for you right now. I hope you’ll remember that when my time comes and I call you with my own request. And, no questions asked, you’ll do it for me.”
“Fine. Just get me closer to Mr. Whitmore as soon as possible.”
Elias chuckles, and the call ends.
“What the fuck was that about?” Dane asks, moving to stand in front of my desk. Kellan hangs back against one of the bookshelves, arms crossed.
“Where’s Raegan?” I ask first. While the bunker should be secure, the threat of a potential spy and the gifted with the ability to portal makes me cautious. I’d rather one of us have an eye on her at all times to ensure she’s safe.
Kellan answers, “With Jack. He’s getting ready to leave for Thorne duty, so he’s spending time with her first.”
Relief eases a pinch of the tension coursing through me. It’s not nearly as much as I’d get by seeing her safe for myself, but I settle with what I can get for now. With that worry resolved, I return to Dane’s original question. “That was Elias. I’ve added his assistance in trying to find Raegan’s father. Have you found anything on him from the data you pulled at the last island?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. It looks like they keep all their data siloed to each island, so unless he was on that particular island, there’s no mention of him.”
The only island we’re fairly certain he was on was the one we’d escaped, and where Raegan had been born, before it crumbled to the bottom of the ocean. There’s nothing left of it.
“You really think this is what she wants? To meet a father she doesn’t even remember?” Kellan questions, and it’s clear in his tone he thinks she doesn’t.
That isn’t up to me to decide. I’m going to give her the option, and she can choose what she wants to do. This is the only family member she has left. If he’s still alive, she could have part of her family back. Someone to talk to about her mother, who knew her when she was alive. Questions answered.
I’ve already done every record search for him in the States and come across nothing. He’s like a ghost.
Just like Raegan.
Which now has me looking to GE and the islands for answers.
“When was the last time you slept?” Dane prompts, his face drawn with concern. “You criticized Jackson for doing this, and here you are, working yourself to death.”
My standards of care for my brothers are not the same as for myself.
“We aren’t leaving on another mission for some time yet, but there’s still the impending Guild event that we need to prepare for. My sleep patterns don’t adversely affect anyone while we’re staying put.”
Dane drops into one of the chairs and leans on my desk with a long sigh. “Just tell her you’re sorry.”
It’s not that simple.
“She’ll barely look at me,” I admit sharply.
Kellan pokes at something on one of the shelves and mutters, “Shouldn’t have been a dumbass, then.”
I pin him with an annoyed look. “If I want your opinion on this, I’ll ask for it.”
He laughs.
Prick.
“She doesn’t even know what you’re doing for her. Are you planning on telling her it was you?” Dane keeps going.
“No. I’m not looking for credit. I know I’ve messed things up too much to gain her forgiveness. I’m not doing this for me.”
I’m doing it for her.
Whatever I can do to make things better. For her.
I’ve broken whatever we once had between us, and I’m not trying to fix that. It’s better for her to not see me the way she used to. All that matters is that I spend my time righting whatever wrongs are in her life as a result of the mistakes I made.
Her injuries.
Her parents.
Her future.
Her happiness.
“Is there anything else?” I ask.
The worry on Dane’s face deepens. “No. Just…get some rest.”
My door crashes open. I grab my whip sword at my side, ready to swing it at whoever or whatever entered the room, and freeze at who I see.
Raegan stumbles forward, and I jump from my seat to catch her before she falls to the floor. The sweet smell of vanilla is overpowered by the whiskey on her breath.
Where the fuck are Dane and Kellan? Did they let her walk around the bunker drunk? Or did they pass out first? Either scenario is unacceptable.
The clock on the wall shows it’s after two in the morning.
Had I fallen asleep?
“There you are!” she shouts, jabbing a finger into my chest. Her finger slides down my tie a few inches, and then she grabs it and pulls it to rub against her cheek. “So silky,” she whispers to herself.
She’s trashed.
Anything I say to her now will only disappear into oblivion, so I don’t bother reprimanding her for wandering around alone and drunk in the middle of the night.
I’ll save that for the morning when she’s hungover.
Raegan’s head plops against my chest, her face nuzzling into my shirt and tie. “Mm…so soft and warm.”
My heart attempts to leap from my chest at the easy way she’s touching me now. My blood heats, perking my cock to attention with this slightest affection.
Fuck’s sake.
She’s done this before. It doesn’t mean what I want it to. Drunk Raegan likes me far more than sober Raegan. I can’t take anything she says or does while under the influence as truth.
The tease is torture, though.
“Why are you always hitting on me when you’re drunk?” I mutter, trying to help her back to her feet while she leans all her weight on me. “Any other man might get the wrong idea.”
Her face falls to a pout. A fucking kicked puppy, sad-face pout. “But not you?”
Deep breath.
Draw the line.
“You’ve been clear you want nothing to do with me like that,” I answer slowly, still trying to help her walk to the door. I need to get her to bed before I do or say something I’ll regret. She won’t remember it come morning, but I will.
Raegan plants her feet and would have toppled backward if not for me already holding her. “You don’t like me, then?”
I click my teeth together, grinding them with the effort not to lose my temper with her. Everyone else, and I can keep my head and my wits without much difficulty. It’s easy to remain objective and keep my focus on the bigger picture. Easy to remove myself and any emotions from the equation.
But her?
It’s like I store up all the rage and passion I have exclusively for this woman.
I’m a hollow man without her.
The moment I’m near her, every emotion floods through my veins until I’m fit to burst, and it’s a struggle to control anything I do or say. She brings out the best and the worst in me. I only wish I had some say in it before it ruins everything.
I snap and push her back against the wall.
She gasps, her blue eyes lighting with excitement.
“No. I don’t like you. I fucking love you. Even though it makes me say and do crazy things. It feels like my chest is on fire whenever I’m near you. Because I want you so much that it burns me alive to know I’ll never have you. To know that you’re going to choose Jackson or Kellan, and I’m not even in the running. Even though you’ve had my heart since the moment I stepped on that godforsaken island. I watched you gather the others around you like you’re their goddamn sun, but I had you first.”
There’s a moment of silence as she stares at me, and then she breathes in a soft command, “Then kiss me.”
I don’t think; I hardly ever do around her, so I shouldn’t be surprised with myself.
I kiss her before her demand has completely fallen from her lips. I steal the breath from our lungs, kissing her like it’s the only thing giving us life. I hate that I’m a slave to this burning passion inside me. That I give in without a second’s hesitation.
She owns me, body and soul, and that loss of control is infuriating.
My body presses her back against the wall, my hands scrambling into her hair and locking our mouths together as if they were made to be one. I need her kiss more than I need anything else in this world. Her hands grab at my clothes, pulling and yanking me closer like she’s just as desperate to close any distance between us.
Our kiss is like a volcanic eruption. Sudden and hot, the lava filling my chest to the brim with its blistering heat and clouding my lungs with ash. Her kiss is the life support I need as it spreads through my limbs and saturates me with uncontrollable desire. My dick is harder than steel against my leg.
Raegan’s hand moves down my chest like it’s being drawn by some invisible force until it cups my hard length and squeezes.
The jolt of pleasure that rips through me makes me groan. Fresh oxygen fills my lungs, and sanity slips a harsh reminder into my mind.
She’s still wasted .
Fuck.
I step back, but I can’t put the distance between us that I really need because she pitches forward when I’m no longer there to hold her up. I catch her in my arms, cursing at my fucking luck and then chalking this up to karma.
“Aiden?” she whispers huskily. Her voice is thick and sensual, which makes me even crazier.
It’s a lie. She hates you.
If she wanted me like this, she would kiss me when she’s sober.
If I do anything now, I’m taking advantage of her.
The image of Gordon comes to mind, and all lust-filled thoughts come to a crashing halt. Rage replaces desire. Fury for lust.
I’m going to find him, and I’m going to make that man wish for death.
I lift Raegan in my arms, cradling her against my chest. It would take far too long to return her to her room if I let her try to walk. I need her as far away from me as possible, as soon as possible.
I make too many mistakes when I’m with her.
I don’t know if it’s the motion of walking or that I’ve stopped responding, but she curls into my chest and closes her eyes for the walk back. She mumbles a few things to me, but I’ve got one hand on the wheel again and keep myself from saying anything back. I’ve already said too much. But I take comfort in knowing she won’t remember any of it when she wakes up.
Dane and Kellan are both passed out in her room. Dane is on the mattress, and Kellan in her bed. Did she wake up still drunk to find me? And what happened to make her think to come to me?
This is the first time she hasn’t been angry and yelling at me while drunk.
I get her in bed, tucking the sheets around her and resisting the urge to stab Kellan for being in there, too. I might’ve if it were a few weeks ago. But now, if she hasn’t kicked him out, then I have to assume she wants him there. So, unfortunately, he stays hole-free.
I stroke her blonde tendrils from her face, watching her peaceful expression and finding it difficult to walk away. Time disappears when I’m with her like this. When I can watch her without restraint, without worry that she’ll notice how long and often my gaze tracks to her. Like I’m irrevocably drawn to her.
“Aiden?” a voice whispers at the partially open door I left behind me.
It’s Cibrina, still dressed like she hasn’t gone to sleep yet either. Probably sought me out here when she found my office empty. Which begs the question, how long have I been standing here?
“What’s wrong?” I gather the strength needed to pull myself away from her and walk to the door.
“He’s arrived.”