Ramshackle (Raegan of Ruin #3)

33. Raegan

Chapter thirty-three

Raegan

Everything is sore.

Everything except for the one place Aiden never touched.

Now that the rest of my body is thrumming with the delicious ache of being used so thoroughly, the lack of feeling at my core is blatant. My pussy throbs with need, demanding the attention it missed out on.

I roll onto my side and slide a hand between my thighs.

The sound of breathing snaps my eyes open.

Aiden’s face is inches from mine, his eyes closed. I scan the room quickly and confirm that we’re alone before returning my gaze to his sleeping face. I’ve never seen his expression so relaxed before. So…unguarded.

I reach a hand out to him, compelled to feel it for myself, but he snatches my wrist as soon as my fingertips graze his cheekbone. Gasping, I find his eyes wide open and pinned on me.

“What are you doing?”

“I thought you were asleep.” Was he just pretending?

“I was. I’m a light sleeper, and you moved.”

Seriously? I could probably jump on the bed, and it still wouldn’t wake Kellan up.

Aiden moves my hand away from his face like he’s giving it back to me but halts without warning. His nostrils flare, and it’s in that second I remember I’d started touching myself with that hand. I rip my hand back from him and hold it to my chest.

His eyes are dark as he regards me, and rather than wait for that commentary, I change the subject.

“What time is it?”

Aiden reaches under his pillow and pulls out his phone.

“Really? You sleep with it, too?”

A tiny smirk tugs at his lips. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were jealous,” he remarks dryly.

“Nope. Just a concerned friend,” I counter.

“It’s after six.”

Oh. So, I guess I didn’t sleep as long as I thought. It feels like I got plenty of rest, though.

“In the evening,” he adds. “You’ve been asleep for almost twelve hours.”

Twelve hours?! Did Kellan and Dane not notice I was gone in the morning? Is Jackson back from following Thorne?

“I told them all you were here and to find something else to occupy their time with while you got some rest,” he answers like he could read the worry on my face. “Jackson still came in a couple of times to check in.”

Oh. “Did you sleep at all?”

He’s the one who needs sleep more than anyone else. And somehow, I ended up almost orgasmed to death, bathed, and rested.

“Some,” he replies simply, pushing himself upright. The sheets fall from his chest, revealing nothing down to the hem of his boxers.

I remember that I’m still naked.

He slept with me last night. He did all those things, but it hits me again that he didn’t fuck me. He could have. I begged him to, and he didn’t.

I squeeze my thighs at the resounding throb of emptiness there.

What was last night? Or…this morning? Whenever the fuck that was. Was he just trying to “help” me out of some obligation? Giving me a distraction and helping me go to sleep? Was that it?

My heart sinks into a pit in my stomach.

This is better . I should still be angry with the way he treated me before…right?

He’s done nothing but look out for me since I came back, though. And he apologized...but is that enough?

Why can’t I get over him? We would never work out anyway. All we do is fight and butt heads.

It shouldn’t bother me.

This is fine.

It’s okay that he doesn’t think of me like that. I should just be grateful he doesn’t hate me anymore.

Aiden lightly pinches the sides of my face, drawing it up until I look at him. “Stop. Whatever it is you’re thinking, stop.”

Right.

I’m not upset.

I’m not…

“What is it?” he demands, and my falling gaze snaps back to his.

“It’s nothing,” I lie. His eyes narrow, and I know he’s not going to let me get away with only that, so I add, “I’m just feeling a little guilty. I came to tell you to get some sleep, and then you ended up…taking care of me. Which…I’m guessing was all that was. Because I know you don’t think of me that way. But…I don’t think we should do that again, as…hot as that was,” I finish with a hollow chuckle.

He grabs me, slamming our lips together so fast and hard that I taste blood. It doesn’t stop him from thrusting his tongue against mine. Or devouring me from the inside. His kiss is bold and controlling as he holds me by the back of my head. I couldn’t escape if I wanted to. He takes what he wants like he’s been waiting for this and knows exactly what he wants.

I’m too stunned to do anything but reciprocate, following his lead and sinking into the kiss as wings flutter and fill my chest. I’m brought back to the library on the island where I had my first kiss.

Where his kiss was just as all-consuming then as it is now, and it sends a hot wire of desire straight to my cunt.

His fingers dig into my hair and grip tight. My head is tugged back, our kiss breaking just as quickly as it started, and I’m left gasping for air.

“You’re maddening,” he murmurs with a husky edge to his silky voice. I try to move my head, but his hold keeps me exactly where I am. “You can’t make up your damn mind. Do you want me, or do you hate me? I can’t figure it out anymore.”

I open my mouth to answer, but the tightening hold in my hair warns me he’s not finished.

“Because for as long as we’ve known one another, I’ve wanted you. I’ve loved you.”

I struggle to shake my head. “That’s not true. You abandoned me on the island—”

“I didn’t.”

I freeze, oxygen stilling in my lungs.

“ I brought you to Tara’s boat. I made her promise me that she would bring you home to your Grams, and then I saw your boat driving away from shore. I see now that trusting her was a mistake, but I didn’t leave you with GE. You were supposed to be safe.”

“Then why...why did you fight me so hard when you saw me again?” I demand, my chest twisting itself in knots.

“To get the truth! If you were with your Grams, I shouldn’t have seen you again. I had to assume you chose to leave home and safety to get back to GE. I couldn’t trust you because you told us that you killed Vera and were with GE. From what I knew, you betrayed us. And it was my fault for being too busy falling for you to notice.” He draws a slow breath, his voice quieting. “Then you came back into our lives, and I knew. If I let you back in, there would be no turning back. Even if you were bad…even if you worshipped the Devil himself, I would follow you to the depths of hell.”

“And…where do you stand now?” I ask, my voice faint and breathless. But I have to know. Did he let me back in? Or is he still keeping his distance? Will he push me away again?

Aiden pulls me into him, answering me with a kiss.

It’s all the response I need.

We don’t do well with words between us. But this kiss.

It’s everything.

I lean into it, my hands running over his chest. He flips us over, his body covering mine so he can deepen the kiss and free his hand to outline my body.

Our kiss ends, but he doesn’t give much room for oxygen between us as his lips brush over mine. “Does that answer your question?”

I give him a small smile. “I don’t think I heard it well enough.”

His mouth crashes back onto mine. There’s nothing sweet about his kiss. It’s filled with hot demand for me to give him everything and more. Like he can’t get enough, but he’s determined to try anyway.

Aiden slips his hand between my legs, and he withdraws to look at me. “Was this from before I woke up or now?”

“What?” Oh. I’d hardly touched myself before I realized he was in the bed with me, and I stopped. But I won’t lie that my thirsty cunt woke up preheated. “Both.” He frowns, and I switch my answer. “Now. It doesn’t matter as long as we can fuck right now.”

He removes his boxers and then guides my leg up against his shoulder, positioning the head of his cock at my entrance.

Immediately, I attempt to wiggle down the bed to encourage him inside, but he collars my throat and pins me. I gasp, foolishly expelling air in my surprise.

Aiden grabs the base of his dick and teases along my folds, spreading my arousal over himself while driving me crazy when I can’t rub against him. Then he holds himself at my core, pushing just enough that my desire skyrockets.

I release a whimper, pinned as I am, while he holds me at the precipice of something I’ve been primed for since last night.

He, on the other hand, is in complete control as he watches me from above. Or so it appears at first glance. But when I look into his eyes, they’re simmering with heat.

“There’s no need for you to touch yourself like that anymore. This pussy? It’s mine. You wanted me; this is what it means to have me. If I find out you’ve gotten yourself off or even played with my pretty little cunt, I’ll punish you.”

Before I can react, he slowly… gradually pushes himself inside. It’s so deliberate, so controlled, that I swear I can feel every ridge, every inch of his hard cock.

The moan he draws out of me is obscene.

“Good girl. You’re going to take every inch of me, aren’t you?”

I don’t have much freedom of movement in the position he has me in, but I shift my hips as much as I’m able to encourage him deeper, even though I’m pretty sure my cunt’s running out of room.

He hilts himself, and I breathe a sigh of relief. And tell myself that it’s deeper at this angle.

“Your body fits me so well. So perfect,” he praises. And coming from him , I feel lighter than air.

Aiden begins to move, but he’s not rushed. He takes his time to draw himself to his tip before sinking back into me. Like he’s just as obsessed with feeling every bit of me as I am with him.

He palms my breast with his other hand, then licks his fingers and teases the nipple. He strums and circles it, and when he pinches and tugs on it, I gasp at the current of need that ripples through me.

His pace intensifies, and all I can do is hold on when he drives into me again and again. He fucks me at a furious speed. All the leisurely sex is out the window as if something in him has snapped. I cling to the bedding. To his arm. But through his intention or because of the increased haste, his hand has closed tighter over my neck, and all my oxygen has been cut off.

Aiden barely touches my clit, and it’s over.

My pussy clamps down on him over and over, and my back bows as pleasure rips through me. He slams inside one last time, his body shuddering above me before he releases my neck, and air fills my lungs. My orgasm leaves me with a warm buzz under my skin. I drop my hands to the bed and stare at him with a contented smile.

He helps my leg back to the bed, keeping himself sheathed when he leans down to kiss me one more time. “I don’t know if I have it in me to share you,” he murmurs, leaving me speechless as I realize what he’s saying.

Is he just talking about me masturbating, or the others? Kellan. Jackson. Maybe even Dane.

Aiden eases back and leaves, giving me another few seconds to go over what the fuck I’m supposed to say to that before he returns with a warm washcloth. He wipes me down first and then moves on to himself.

I know he’s not wrong. I shouldn’t ask them to share. That’s not fair of me.

I guess I’d been spoiled by Kellan and Jackson just…being okay with it. More than okay. When the three of us had sex in the tunnel…it was amazing.

It made me believe that this fantasy of mine might actually work out.

“When you said share me,” I begin when he returns from cleaning himself up. He lies back in bed, tugging the covers over both of us and then pulling me to lean on his chest.

“We’ll talk about it another time. Right now, I’d still like to try to get more sleep.”

“It’ll probably wind up as a fight,” I mutter.

He kisses the top of my head. “I would rather spend all my time fighting with you than be with anyone else.”

“I don’t need all of you with me,” I try again, looking at all four of the guys at my back before we enter the medical wing.

Cassandra informed Aiden that Charles Whitmore was up and rested enough for a visit. When asked about any family members that could be contacted about his rescue, he told her he had none.

It’s not a great start.

“As the leader of the Guild, it’s not out of place for me to introduce myself,” Aiden states mildly while sliding his phone into his pocket. “The others can wait out here.”

Kellan barks out a laugh. “Like you do that for every rescued person?”

“It is weird that you’d meet him while she’s there,” Dane adds.

“How about you all stay out here?” I growl, reaching for the door and walking inside. I have no idea what I’m expecting out of this. If this guy doesn’t even know who I am, and I’ve lived this long without a father, is it right of me to drop this on him? He just escaped from being a lab rat. Having a daughter is the last thing he’ll want to think about.

It’s not like you’re a child he’ll have to look after. You’re just letting him know you exist. If he wants a relationship with you, then great. And if not…then that’s fine, too.

The door swings open behind me, and I sigh. I didn’t really believe they would sit patiently waiting in the hall for me. A small part of me appreciates the support. But the bigger part? Is terrified they’ll barge in and do something embarrassing when Charles and I are still trying to feel each other out.

“Ah, you’re here.” Cassandra smiles warmly at me, then frowns at my entourage. “Nuh-uh. No. He isn’t ready for all of you. Just Raegan.” She winds an arm around the back of my shoulders. “You’ll scare the man away before he even knows what he’s running from.”

She leads me away despite the noise of protest behind us, and I grin. “Thanks for that.”

Cassandra returns my grin. “Anyone would be nervous getting approached by one of them, let alone the whole group. I’m only partly jealous and mostly in awe of how you’ve managed to hold all of their attention.”

Partly jealous . It reminds me that she’d tried to get Aiden to go out with her that first night I met her. And she’d been shamelessly rubbing up on Kellan.

A faint burning sensation fills my chest, and I fist my hands. They’re mine .

She glances at my hands and back to my face, dropping her arm from around me but keeping her smile in place. When her head shakes, her mass of tight red curls sways behind her. “Don’t worry. I know they’re all yours. Aiden made that perfectly clear a few months ago.” She sighs dramatically. “I’ve been looking for new candidates since then, but there hasn’t been much time to get out. Maybe after all this GE nonsense is over with, I’ll have better luck.”

Aiden did what? A few months ago would have been before I was taken. And before he learned my secrets.

Even when we’d been fighting, and he didn’t trust me, he knew. Just like he’d said last night. If there was any remaining doubt in my mind about how he feels, it melts away.

I loosen my hands and smile. “Let me know what you’re looking for and I can see if I know anyone who fits.” Not that I know a ton of people, but there are some of the workers I’d met and worked with at Hype.

She waves me off. “Don’t worry about me. I know you have enough going on.” Cassandra stops us in the aisle and points to a curtain, her voice lowering. “He’s there. Everything checked out normal this morning, so he’ll be released to the floor with the others after lunch.”

I nod, nerves circling in my gut as I stare at the curtain. “Did any of the paperwork at his bed mention his gift?”

“Yup. It said he has telekinesis.”

“Did it show what sort of testing was being done on him or the others?” What samples was Vera referring to when she’d been talking to Royce? What does her gift have to do with the prisoners? Is she trying to steal gifts, like she’d attempted with Dane when it almost killed him?

Cassandra shakes her head. “No, the paperwork was only a simple patient face sheet. Unless Dane gathered more information from their servers, we don’t have anything else.”

The servers had already been wiped clean by the time he got to them. Probably Vera’s doing. I smile at her in thanks and she walks away, leaving me to it.

I force myself forward before I can change my mind. “Excuse me,” I call out at the curtain. “Can I come in?”

“Please do,” he replies, and I slip the curtain to the side enough for me to step into the semi-private area and let it fall closed behind me.

For a second, I wonder if Cassandra led me to the wrong bed because I look nothing like the man sitting up in bed. His hair is black, and the lines in his face are sharp and angular. The five o’clock shadow peppers his jawline and around his mouth. But when his eyes find mine, it’s like looking in the mirror. They’re the same ocean blue, the same thick and dark lashes.

“Hi.”

He smiles politely. There’s no recognition in his gaze when he sees me. “Hello.” Like he’s greeting a stranger.

“I’m Raegan.”

“Are you my next nurse?”

“No, I’m…your daughter,” I finish lamely. There’s no good way to announce that, right? Seems better to just rip the Band-Aid off.

His smile falters. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have a daughter.”

“Did you know a Merina Laivins?”

Charles blinks several times, then peers cautiously at me. “Yes. A long time ago.”

“She was my mother. And she listed your name on my birth certificate as my father,” I explain.

“I…have a daughter?” He stares at me with disbelief, and I shift uncomfortably.

“I mean…that’s what the paper says. If you and Merina didn’t have a relationship, then—”

“We did. I just didn’t consider that she might’ve gotten pregnant. We were separated soon after.”

I nod, wishing I had a wall or counter or something to lean or sit on. “Well, I just wanted you to know that I exist. I’m…here.”

He looks me over, his eyes assessing as he takes me in again with new perspective. “You look like her. Like Merina,” he observes with a fresh smile. “She was quite the fighter. You have that same look in your eye, even if they’re colored like mine.”

Hearing about her eases some of my nerves, and I smile, curling some hair behind my ear. “Oh, yeah?”

“I’ll bet you’re giving Gifted Enterprise hell, just as she did at the end.”

My eyebrows draw together. “You know what happened to her?”

Charles sighs and nods. “Word got around about what happened, and I overheard it. But they never mentioned a child at the time. Only that she took out around two dozen agents.”

“Will you tell me more about her some time?”

“Of course, though I’m sorry to admit that it may not be as much as you’d like. We were a bit of a whirlwind romance in a short period of time together.”

“That’s okay. It’s still more than what I know.”

“Now that I know I have a daughter, I’d love to learn everything I can about you. Are you staying here, wherever that is?” He casts his gaze above us and the fluorescent lighting. “I haven’t seen anything yet outside of these curtains. Maybe you could give me a tour.”

“I’m the last person to ask for a tour,” I say with a light laugh to avoid answering all his questions. He may be my father, but that doesn’t grant him immediate trust from me. “I’ll come find you once you’ve finished settling in and we can talk some more.”

Something flickers in his eyes, and I wonder if he’s disappointed that I’m not jumping at the idea of spending more time with him right away. Or maybe I’m overthinking things because this already has been a bit much for me. He knows I exist, and I now know he’s my father. But now? What do I want to do with that?

“Of course,” he finally responds with a small, reassuring smile. “Thank you for coming to see me and telling me about you. You’re already an adult and seem to be doing just fine on your own, but now that I know I have a daughter, I’m hoping we can get to know one another. I wasn’t there for you when you grew up, but maybe I can be there for you now in whatever way you want.”

My chest tightens at his words. At the easy way he’s already accepted me.

Rather than chance my voice, I give him a firm nod and a terse, “Sure.” I part the curtains and slip out. My face crashes into someone who catches me when I bounce back.

Kellan offers me a grin, but Aiden speaks up behind him in a hushed tone. “Hallway.”

We walk quietly down the aisle, the five of us moving as one until we’re standing outside of the medical wing.

Dane slides his hands into his pockets and asks me, “How did it go?”

I shrug. I’m not sure what I expected, so how do I say if I think it went well or not? Considering he wants to know more about me, that should be a good thing, but I feel…uncertain. Why? “It went okay. He is my dad from the sounds of it. How long were you guys standing there?”

“The entire time,” Aiden answers.

Kellan grins. “And you thought we couldn’t be quiet.”

Jackson turns his face in the direction of Charles, though we can’t see him from here, but it’s clear something is on his mind.

“You don’t trust him,” Aiden surmises aloud, his eyes pinned on Jack.

He looks back to us, but Jack’s stare settles on mine when he answers. “No.”

That uneasiness grows. “Why not?”

“It’s just a feeling.”

Aiden looks at his phone. “It’s almost lunch. We’ll let him eat, and then I’ll introduce myself and see what more I can learn about him. He’ll be staying on the quarantine floor with the others for the time being, and that’s secure and separate from the rest of the bunker. That gives us time to keep an eye on him until we know more.” He looks at me like he’s checking in, and I give him a small nod.

Knowing that he’s not wandering freely around the bunker gives me a small piece of comfort until I can wrap my head around everything. I’ll keep my promise to visit him and getting to know him a bit more might clear up our concerns. We all have some trust issues, so hopefully, that’s all this is before we let him into our lives.