18. Stepping In It
18
STEPPING IN IT
*Blanca*
After Candace left, I’d sat there immobile for quite some time. Her statement about Nessa being the worst match for Kieran had made me nauseated. But I’d managed to eat the food she’d brought me, and now, I’m pacing in the small area of my room.
I can mind-link with Mr. Blake but no one in my family. Just to prove it, I try sending Candace a message that I’m done eating, but she says nothing back to me because she can’t hear me.
My own family treats me worse than garbage. Why would they do that?
The Moon Goddess matched me with someone who can’t possibly be my mate if everything I’ve been told my whole life is the truth.
But what if it’s not?
What if I am from Escuro? I have no idea how that’s possible since I have flickers of myself sleeping in a crib far away from everyone else in the castle except for the mean old maids who used to take care of me. I remember crying for my mother and being snatched out of that crib and shaken.
Maybe that never happened, and it’s just a bad dream. Or maybe I have been here since I was a baby.
Is it possible that both could be true? Could I have been born in Escuro and brought here as a baby? But why?
I have no answers, and I’m sick of being locked in this room trying to figure it all out. For days, I haven’t even been allowed to go outside to slop the pigs. I need air. I need–to go.
Without another thought, I rush to the closet and grab the old bag I have in the back. I shove a few changes of clothing into it, and that’s pretty much all I have in the world. I have no idea how I’ll get out past the guards and over the wall, but I have to try. What’s the worst that can happen? They’ll catch me, bring me back, and Mother will let her henchwoman whip me again. She did say it would be worse next time, but I am ready to take my chances.
I drop to my knees to reach into the mousehole to grab the key. When I do, I hear a bunch of squeaks from my little friends. “I’m sorry,” I whisper to them. I pull out the key, and they poke their heads out. “I wish you could come with me, but it’s too dangerous. Be safe.”
They hang their heads in solemn expressions.
I want to say more, but I have no time. I look at their little faces once more, and then, I’m up and gliding to the door.
I press my ear against the barrier and listen for a moment. Hearing nothing, I slip the key into the lock and turn it. Then, I poke my head out into the hallway. I don’t see or hear anyone, so I step out of my room and lock the door behind me, thinking that might give me a few extra minutes while people try to assess if I’m still inside.
With a deep breath, I turn to my right and head toward the door I use in the mornings to go out and slop the pigs. It’s the quickest way out of the castle, and not many people should be coming in and out that way this time of night since all of the farm chores should be done.
I see no one else in the hallway as I make my way toward the door. Then, I slip out into the cool evening air and take a few deep breaths. The sense of freedom I’d carried with me during the first few moments of the Haze wants to settle around me, but I won’t let it. I was wrong about that night, and I’m probably wrong about this one, too.
With no more time to stand around, I take off toward the barn, thinking about my best path out. I know where the gates are, and I know they are all guarded. I can’t think of any secret tunnels or high ground that will give me a chance to scale the wall or jump over. No, I’m going to have to make it through a guarded gate at night.
I’m thin enough in my human form I can probably slide between the bars, but how I can get all the guards in front of the gate to look away for a moment is beyond me.
“Unless….” A thought occurs to me, and as I pick up speed running toward the nearest gate, I use my mind to call together any birds that might be nearby. I hate to use them because it’ll either get Mr. Blake into more trouble or call attention to my abilities in a bad way, but I see no other way out.
I’m running so fast now I can feel my wolf chomping at the bit. She wants to be released. She wants to run free, to feel the wind in her fur, and I’d love to let her, but that would mean I’d have to stop, undress, pack my clothes, shift, and then run to the gate, shift, slip through naked, and shift again, and it really makes no sense for me to do that when I’m pretty sure no one even knows I’m gone yet.
No, I need to stay in my human form until I get through the gate. Then, I’ll have every chance I need to shift and get out of here.
I run past the rose gardens where the rest of my family often gathers to admire the flowers and listen to the water tinkling in the fountains. I’ve seen them from the windows many times, but I’ve never once been invited to sit with them and take in the lovely scene.
Trying not to let it bother me, I push on. Maybe one of these days they’ll all realize I’m gone, and they’ll miss me. Maybe they’ll wish they’d taken the chance to get to know me. I am their sister, their daughter, after all.
“Or am I?” I’m not sure where the thought has come from, but I can’t help but echo it back to the one person who can hear me. To Mr. Blake, I ask, “ Am I even a princess at all?”
His voice sounds very clearly inside of my head. “ Oh, yes, my little Raven. You are indeed a princess.”
“But… my family hates me,” I tell him. “They don’t treat me like a princess at all.”
“Your family loves you,” he counters. “ They will treat you like the queen you will be one day soon.”
“Queen?” I’m so confused. What in the world is he talking about? “Mr. Blake, I’m leaving,” I blurt out to him. “I’m going to Escuro to figure out how the hell I can be a member of your pack.”
“Please be careful, my dear one,” he says back. “Use your powers to help yourself. Head due north, and you will find our homeland.”
“Our homeland?” I whisper. I’m running so fast, I almost trip over a tree root and have to slow down. I’m glad that happens, though, because I had almost reached the end of the garden, and I know the gate is up ahead.
Slowing my breathing, I dodge behind a large bush and look out. I can see the guards gathering around the exit. Above their heads, crows and other birds begin to circle. It’s now or never.
I’m just about to step out of my hiding spot, my plan in place, when I feel a hand clamp down around my arm.
Sucking in a deep breath, I turn my head, wondering who the hell has caught me. When my eyes lock on Kieran’s, I feel my stomach drop to the ground.
“Going somewhere are we, Blanca?” he whispers.
“Shit.”
It’s really all I can say because I just stepped in a big pile of it.