Raze (Dirty Soul MC: Long Beach #1)

Chapter 6

Itake a long walk along the beach once Raze has left, letting the sea soak my feet and drag my footprints back into the ocean. Here in the safety of this compound with the man who held me in my sleep last night, it would be so easy to forget what I left behind. Easy to let myself believe that Billy is the only thing I’m running from, but reality follows me like a black cloud ready to pour open. I make my way back toward Raze’s beach hut, unable to stop myself from thinking about Kane and the mess I’ve left him in. I know he would have had to do some bad things in order to get himself in favor with the club, but I can’t imagine the big brother I grew up with getting rid of a body. My stomach rolls when I think about all the blood that was leaking from that Reaper bastard’s body and how Kane would have had to clean the back of the van. I don’t even know if my brother’s dead or alive because I can’t call him. For all I know the club could have found out and he could be paying the price for the deed I did.

“You're looking a little lost.” A scratchy voice comes from behind me as I step up onto the porch and when I turn around and see the tall, dark-haired guy standing behind me I freeze. His skin is pale, his eyes look as if the devil himself put the black in them, and he’s so wickedly handsome that he actually takes my breath away.

“I’m not lost,” I assure him, feeling a little intimidated as he steps closer. His eyes rolling over me as if he’s turning my body inside out and searching my soul.

“You’re a member of the club.” I glance down at the cut he’s wearing.

“They call me Sinner.” He slides the smoke he has balanced behind his ear into his mouth and sparks it up. I recognize the smell of weed straight away. Kane never smokes it around me, but his clothes always reek of it.

“Sinner.” I test his name out on my lips as I watch him toke back.

“You smoke?” He asks, resting his shoulder against Raze’s door frame and looking at me through his dark, hooded eyes.

“No.” I shake my head and remain still as he takes another toke and moves even closer. So close that his nose is almost touching mine.

He blows the smoke he just inhaled directly into my face and laughs as I splutter and choke on it.

“So our new prez is keeping ya here, hidden all for himself.” He backs away with the smirk still on his face.

“No, he’s just looking out for me,” I explain.

“Looking out for you,” he repeats with a chuckle. “and I’ll guess he’s doing that outta the goodness of his heart.”

“Seems that way.” I shrug, I get that it sounds a little unbelievable but all my instincts are telling me that I can trust Raze, that, and the fact that right now I have no other choice.

“You’re as na?ve as you are pretty.” He laughs some more and it starts to really piss me off.

“Did you come here for a reason?” I snap back. “If you're looking for Raze, he left about an hour ago.” I make it clear that he’s outstaying his welcome.

“No, I just saw a pretty girl looking lost on the beach and thought I’d offer to show her a good time.” He shrugs casually.

“Well, I don’t think your idea of a good time matches mine.” I put it to him straight.

“Guess I’ll just leave you here alone then. Let all those secrets ya got tick over and over in your head until you slowly go crazy.” He turns to walk away and when I register what he just said I quickly chase after him.

“Wait, what do you mean? How do you…” I stop to take a breath before I out myself. “What makes you think I have secrets?” I challenge him.

“It’s obvious, your eyes give far too much away.”

“They do not,” I argue with him, starting to feel anxious.

“Darlin’, don’t kid yourself. I can read you like the bible.”

“You’ve read the bible?” Now it’s my turn to laugh.

“Old and New Testament… twice” he holds up two of his fingers to give me a visual.

Who the hell is this guy?

“Okay then, what are these secrets I’m supposed to have?” I test him some more. There’s no way this complete stranger could know what I’ve been through.

“You’re not as innocent as those big, green eyes and your purdy smile suggests. I’d guess that you’ve taken a life and that you’ve thought about taking more.”

“That’s not true.” I shake my head defensively as the accuracy of his words cause a cold tingle to drip down my spine.

“But the person you want to hurt most is still out there, and they’re still in here.” His pointer finger taps at my temple and the glint in his eyes gets a little wilder. “You tell yourself you’re over it, but you ain’t, and you’ve thought many times about surroundin’ yourself with chaos and danger, hopin’ for a new trauma, because you’re sick of the same old nightmare.” I feel my palms start to sweat and my pulse accelerate.

“You’re full of shit.” I shake my head at him in denial.

“No, darlin’ I leave that to the rest of the world. The one thing you can guarantee outta me is upfront, brutal honesty.” He takes another toke of his blunt and glares at me like he’s waiting on something.

I don’t react, just stare at him blankly while his words sink in.

“Now, I came here to offer you a little bit of that chaos and get ya wasted. But if you’d rather spend another day lettin’ the voices in your head take the reins, there’s plenty of other people around here that I can piss off.” He goes to walk away and for some inexplicable reason, I start to panic.

“Sinner,” I call out his name because suddenly what he’s suggesting sounds like something I need.

“Raze told me… I’m not allowed to go to the clubhouse,” I point out.

“And is Raze at the clubhouse?” He cocks his eyebrow at me.

“Well no… I don’t think so.”

“It’s still early, most members won’t show their faces till late afternoon. By the time they do, you’ll be too wasted to worry about gettin’ into trouble.” He coaxes me with a sinful grin and after making a heavy sigh I give into temptation and follow him back up the beach toward the clubhouse.

Sinner was right, this beats sitting in Raze’s hut, listening to the ocean, and thinking about my fuck up of a life. I’m high on his weed and wasted on tequila and there’s not anyone here at the clubhouse to demand what I do or tell me it’s a bad idea.

Me and Sinner shoot some pool and I spray a mouthful of tequila all over the floor when he proves to me that he can fit his entire ball sack into one of the pockets with a live demonstration. I nearly fall off the stool laughing when he gets himself stuck, but after he downs more vodka and does some very awkward-looking maneuvering, he manages to get himself free. While he gets over it, I step behind the bar ready to attempt to make my first cocktail.

I jump when the club door opens. Polly steps inside and she takes one look at Sinner before she rolls her eyes. She struts across the floor and starts picking up all the empty bottles that are scattered around from whatever went on in here last night.

“Didn’t Raze give you an order?” She looks at me sternly.

“I got bored,” I giggle, looking to Sinner for some backup. He must still be in pain because he’s got one hand resting on the pool table and the other stroking over his forehead.

“You wanna drink?” I offer, she really looks like she could use some cheering up. Maybe Sinner has some of the blunt he just rolled left.

“Sin, you got some more of that special tobacco?” I make my way over to him and when I notice him staring at the green felt on the table, like he’s in some kind of trance, I nudge him with my shoulder.

“Sin,” I laugh wondering just how wasted he’s gotten himself.

He closes his eyes and shakes his head and when he eventually opens them back up again they look real scared.

“Oh fuck.” His voice sounds completely different as he backs away from me.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He shakes his head and starts tapping himself over like he’s paranoid.

“You came to the beach hut to save me from my misery, remember? How much of that joint did you smoke?” I laugh.

“No.No. No.” He taps the heel of his palm against his forehead. Then growls when he cups his balls like they’re hurting him again.

“We didn’t… I mean he didn’t?” He gestures his finger between us both.

“What? No… we just hung out, we drank and we smoked…you...” I slam my hand over my mouth when I giggle and hiccup at the same time.

“He did the balls in the pocket thing again didn’t he?” Sinner slides his hand over his face as he makes his way over to a chair and carefully eases himself down.

“What are you talking about, he? Sinner, you did that like five minutes ago.” I’m starting to wonder if this guy is wired right.

“I ain’t Sinner.” The guy sitting in front of me looks up, and as crazy as it seems I realize he’s right. His skin isn’t as pale, his eyes seem softer and his expressions are completely different.

“I’m Saint, and you just had your first encounter with my other personality,” he explains and I quickly back away from him, looking at Polly who nods her head to confirm I heard him right.

“What the hell is this place?” I pick up the bottle of tequila and knock it back